Sometimes I wish my dog was dead

[DandelionWars]

I don't ever show it. I never push him away. Ever. In fact I spend more time with him than I ever have. He sleeps in my room now. It took six months to convince him he was allowed upstairs and he can only be up there when I am or he gets upset but we managed it despite the dementia.

I live in a semi detached house and my neighbour is very sensitive to noise, and um, raspberries, but that's another story. In short she is not a reasonable human bean.

Sometimes, when we leave the dog he forgets how long we have been gone and calls for us (I assume). His barks last a few minutes. I know this. I have recorded him. So has the neighbour and sent the recordings to my LL who has admitted he has no grounds for eviction but is watching. He admitted the same thing when she photographed my raspberry bushes and complained about my daughter playing in the garden.

Her complaints are causing me anxiety. I daren't leave the dog alone even to go to the corner shop. My kids daren't watch their TV in their rooms. We can't have people around. All of this is ruining the last few months I have with my dog.

It's to a point now where I am too anxious to leave the dog at home for a few hours in case he barks for a few minutes. I sometimes wish he was dead. I wanted to enjoy the last few months of his life instead I am spending Christmas and New year alone because I daren't join my family.

I don't need advice. I am a qualified dog behaviourist. My dog does not have separation anxiety and cannot be helped with training. He does not bark incessantly and I cannot find a suitable property to move to.

I just wanted to share my thoughts because I am alone, lonely and at the end of my patience.

Oh and don’t try to be nice to her
She will see niceness as weakness and carry on bullying you
Tell her to fuck off
Tell her not to knock on your door again otherwise you will report her to the police for harassment

@DandelionWars

Wrt the Zyklene, sedatives have been discussed with my vet but I have another dog and am aware of the (vanishingly rare) possibility of 'pack mates' giving swift mercy to those they deem too ill to survive in the wild.

How drowsy does Zyklene make your dog? My younger dog can and does open doors when separated from his canine house mate and is not yet crate trained.

We haven’t found Zylkene makes my boy drowsy at all. It’s made from a type of milk protein and tends to be very well tolerated. It’s recommended for dogs with demential.

Like your dog, mine sleeps a lot anyway, he is just more relaxed and doesn’t startle at the slightest noise now, whereas before he would wake every time someone opened the living room door and with 5 of us stuck at home through the pandemic, that made it really difficult. He’s now able to relax and sleep when he is alone in a room, which he couldn’t before. My boy has seizures if he’s woken abruptly as well, so we had to try something and Zylkene has worked perfectly for him.

My boy is on Gabapentin as well. He was put on this for spinal issues and seizures before we tried the Zylkene and it definitely helped, but the addition of Zylkene made the biggest difference. He was more comfortable and stable on the Gabapentin, but the Zylkene is what helped him relax and be less anxious.

I really feel for you. Your neighbour sounds like she has issues. We went through something similar in our first ever house. Our neighbour was constantly complaining about us banging doors, even when we weren’t home, to the extent she was seen shouting through our letterbox to stop the noise and banging doors when we were away for a few weeks. She had a dog that was left in the garden to howl and bark constantly as well. Fortunately for us we had the opportunity to move house, as there was never going to be any reasoning with her.

This is why I think engaging with the HA/LL rather than your neighbour is a better idea. She is never going to be reasonable in her demands and you have a right to live your life in your own home. I would record any unreasonable noise she makes for your own records, but don’t engage with her any further, just get on with your life and inform your HA/LL of everything that’s happened. If she won’t stop, I would report her for harassment. If she has got away with bullying people out of their homes before, you need to make sure you have protected yourself by essentially getting in there first.

Really feel for you OP. Sorry to read about your dog too.
Agree don't engage with her; she'll never be appeased. It will just stress you further and you sound thoroughly fed- up as it is.
She has too much time on her hands!
Tell her to leave you alone- it doesn't sound like you're the unreasonable one.

Agree with others I would send your OP in a letter to your landlord so he can see just how big an impact her behaviour is having on you. Then maybe end it with a paragraph saying you want to have peaceful enjoyment and return to normal activities without worrying about her complaints and the possibility of eviction so would appreciate his advice.

Hopefully he'll say do as you want and he will speak to her.

All the best with ddog

@PermanentlyDizzy thank you for sharing your experience of Zylkene.
I will look into it for my dog.