Advice on how to integrate elderly bitch into my house

[FlipFlops4Me]

The situation is that I have two Shih-Tzu - one is 6 and one is 3. Older bitch is fairly hostile to other dogs and hates my neighbour's bitch. The 3 year old dog is a rescue (but absolutely gorgeous - he is defensive of me but that is all). (Spayed and neutered, so that's alright).

Next door lives an elderly chap with an equally old spayed Shih-Tzu bitch. She is very sociable but hates my 6 year old bitch. It's mutual. Elderly chap is becoming very infirm. We and other neighbours do his shopping and take in cooked food but he is self neglecting, losing weight, losing physical strength and becoming tearful. As a group we feel that for his own sake he needs a care package in place (not us) or to go into care.

I have promised him that if he goes into care I will take in his Shih-Tzu to live with us. Why I said that I have no idea but I did and can't unsay it.

Ideas? Advice? - not to re-home her elsewhere; my neighbour would think it a total betrayal if he went into care because I said I'd look after her, and then I re-homed her somewhere else. I'd see it that way too.

If your dog hates this dog I don’t see how it can possibly work.

i know. I feel terrible about it. She's always been stroppy and a bit of a bully if I don't watch her like a hawk.

I'm half way to ringing my boss and asking him to take her. He has a happy pack of 7 dogs - all different ages and breeds. Also, a huge house, massive garden and lives on the edge of the moors. They are the happiest dogs I've ever seen. Obedient, friendly, curious - they tick every box. I could beg and beg until he caves.

I'd be OK with asking a trainer to help us.

Do you really think it can't work?

I think you need another conversation with your neighbour about what’s best for his dog; what’s in her best interests.

Her best interests aren’t living miserably with another dog who hates her.

But if you can help find the right brilliant home (someone you know, as you mentioned, so you have that connection to her and can reassure him, perhaps even bring her to visit) then might that not work for him?

I would say it really can’t work because the 2 dogs already know each other and do y like each other. When you rescued your 3 year old that was presumably a gamble with a grumpy older dog - how did that go in terms of getting them used to each other?

@NoSquirrels - we put him a crate in the sitting room (he'd spent most of his life crated), and covered it except for the front, and I held on to her while we opened the crate. He came out and whatever he said to her, it worked and they've been besties except for a couple of food related incidents ever since. We were stunned.

That's why I wonder if she's all mouth and trousers and would accept older bitch (who I think has the nous to be a bit humble to start with).

I could have another chat with my neighbour -in a couple of days when he's had time to absorb today's conversation. I'll be dropping a cooked chicken in over the weekend, so that might be a good time.

Have you ever had his dog in the house with yours? Or walked them together?

You don't.

When bitches fight, they can (and do) fight to the death.

You need to speak to your neighbour and ask him to make alternate arrangements. You are literally putting your own dogs' life at risk by even considering this as an option.

I've had them in the house together - neighbour's dog yelling for her dad, and mine yelling at me. (I know neighbour's dog was calling her dad - she's lived next door for years and I know her calls as well as I know my own dogs'). But then other side neighbours said they'd take her because neighbour would be in hospital for several weeks, so we did that instead.

I think if we'd toughed it out we'd have got there. Mine really is a walking yellling machine, but soft as butter when you iknow her.

I've not walked them together yet. I could give it a go over the weekend. Maybe neighbour's dog and just my bitch - on their own a couple of times.

@icedcoffees - mine has half a mouth of teeth and neighbour's bitch has no teeth at all, if that makes a difference.

But I think I'll have a chat with boss on Monday and see if he could sound his wife out.....

The other side neighbours definitely not in a position to take her on a more permanent basis? Perhaps with you providing dog-walking assistance/back-up etc?

That might work well! I'd be happy to walk her. And if she walks with mine fairly often they'd get used to each other.

Neighbours' worry has always been that they have a huge family and they all visit each other all the time which is why they've avoided long term committments such as dogs. But if elderly bitch is with them when they're at home and comes to me for combined walks, the three of them would get used to each other.

I'll have a chat with them. (Can you tell we're a really chatty bunch.....)

[quote FlipFlops4Me]@icedcoffees - mine has half a mouth of teeth and neighbour's bitch has no teeth at all, if that makes a difference.

But I think I'll have a chat with boss on Monday and see if he could sound his wife out.....[/quote]
But why would you want to put your dog through a fight that could (if teeth were present) kill her? It seems utterly insane to me.

Both dogs already hate each other but you're considering bringing the other dog into your dogs' private space and forcing them to share it.

IMO if you take this dog, you're putting the preference of your neighbour over your own dogs' happiness and safety. I really implore you to reconsider. You don't want to be in a situation where these dogs fight.

Give her a pile of thongs to fold into neat triangles.

I saw this in active threads and immediately assumed it was another MIL thread.

Jeez I didn’t realise this was in The Doghouse and now I can’t stop laughing 🤣 brutal.

@icedcoffees - I can feel that you're right.

I will speak to boss on Tuesday and ask if he thinks there's any chance Mrs Boss would go for it. Y'never know - tug on her heartstrings and she'll adopt anything with four legs....

[quote FlipFlops4Me]@icedcoffees - I can feel that you're right.

I will speak to boss on Tuesday and ask if he thinks there's any chance Mrs Boss would go for it. Y'never know - tug on her heartstrings and she'll adopt anything with four legs....[/quote]
I think this is what's happened with you and your neighbour too :)

You feel sorry for him and want him to know his dog has a home for life, which is really lovely, but the reality is that your home probably isn't the right one for her.

I had similar with a client (I'm a dog walker) who wanted me to take her dog if something happened to her. Our dogs got on really well so I didn't even have that to worry about that, but the reality is that I wasn't the right person to care for her dog.

Don't let your heart rule your head - you want ALL the dogs to be happy, not just for the neighbour not to worry about his dog. You're not the only solution so don't let him pressure you :)

I read this and intially suspected that you must have your mother in law staying 🤣

🤣🤣at people thinking it was about a MIL!

I’d try walking them together regularly. See if they settle. My third dog was terrified of my second dog initially, but they ended up best friends eventually.

My other thought is the worry that the dog cried for hier owner through the wall. It might be better for her to be rehomed in a different area altogether.

I think you’re great thinking of doing this for your neighbour (I did it for our neighbour’s cat). But if you assure your neighbour that you’ll make sure the dog is happy and safe- even if not with you, you’re still doing a great thing..

You could contact the cinnamon trust. They can help to foster or re-home the dog.

@Honeyroar - that's encouraging and a possibility

@Swisscheeseleaves Now the Cinnamon Trust is a brilliant idea! I'll have a chat with neighbour and see how he feels.

I do thank you all for your suggestions - I feel in my heart that it might not work and I am so glad to have other ideas.