Dog put to sleep 2 days ago. Fine upto this. So guilty.

[WorstXmasEver]

Hello,

I'm really suffering & need to vent.

2 days ago we had to put our 10 yr old dog to sleep.

She was in season & her menstruation became far heavier than normal & a vet visit revealed a tumour. There was no notice at all. I still have a 6 pack of dog food I bought for her never thinking that she'd never finish them all.

We thought about sending her to a cancer specialist but she was losing a lot of blood & it would of cost everything we have basically with no guarantee of success. It's also a long trip to specialists.

I wish I'd of tried this now but Christmas was a factor & she was going downhill. Maybe she could have been saved.

I feel so guilty about her life. She had some character traits which meant we often fell out.

She would steal the kids toys & chew them up.

She would constantly bark when you took her for a walk. If you let her off the lead she would go for other dogs.

She would strain the lead so you always had to pull her back.

She'd wee on the floor rather than in the garden & would steal your dinner no matter what food she'd already had.

Despite all of this I really miss her & I feel like I've been damaged for life now. I'd do anything to have her back.

Our very high maintenance ddog was pts last year. Likely brain tumour vet said. Testing would have meant sedation as she wasn't manageable at all. And no viable solution anyway. The guilt lives on. She hates ddogs.. And anyone outside of the family wasn't advised near her... Locked out when people came. Banned from the kennels. But wow she was loved.
Sorry for your loss op. I would have done the same as you. Immediate release from the suffering was the right decision imo.

I’m sure you didn’t override your vet’s advice and so you have nothing to feel guilty for.
I felt similar when we had our dog pts due to osteosarcoma. Why didn’t I notice? (The only sign was a limp 48 hrs before) Would the vet have amputated if I had asked them too? ( No, they would have suggested that if it were possible) Did the vet make a mistake? (Absolutely not, they consulted an expert about the x rays and were very experienced themselves).

Be kind to yourself. In time, the happy memories of her will outweigh the bad ones you are feeling now

My mogey was hit by a car and her spine pretty much separated from her hips. Off to the vet and as he listed her injuries I kept on waiting for him to say 'the kindest thing would be to put her to sleep'. She was already at least 13. But no he said an op and she will recover though perhaps walk a bit wonky. £750 later (this was about 15 years ago) and she did make almost full recovery and could still jump on the counter. She lasted til she was 23.
It's a tough decision and I would always be swayed by a vets recommendation.

All i can recall at the moment are the times where shed be growling at me because I was trying to get the kids toys back or telling her off for nicking our dinner though at the moment.

I never really put enough time into her & only feel I interacted with her due to the above mainly due to time.

I always made sure she was fed & warm I guess.

I miss her doing it all now.

She looked well right upto the end. I don't feel i can get over this.

You loved her and she loved you. I'm so sorry she's gone. Take care of yourself.