Very strong Staffie cross - behavioural issues

[Papergirl1968]

This is my first time posting in the Doghouse and I'm sorry it's so long.
I have a Staffie cross (don't know what she's crossed with) bitch, about two and a half years old, that my daughter bought from travellers who had bred from her and said they were going to shoot her. I don't think they'd treated her well. For various reasons my daughter (who has quite an unstable lifestyle) can't have her so dog lives with me and my two cats.
I am struggling with walking her however as she's fine with about 8/10 other dogs. She's very tolerant with puppies and generally respectful with bigger dogs, but the odd one she hates for no apparent reason, and will lunge towards it, swinging in a semi circle. I'm a pretty big woman and it's all I can do to stand still and hold her, let alone walk away with her. 0n occasion she has dragged me a few steps. She is on a harness that goes round her chest and shoulders which I know isn't great as that's where she is strongest but she did once attack another dog prior to me getting the harness, by managing to pull her head out of her collar. The pet shop owner has said a muzzle isn't ideal for Staffies because of the shape of their face.
She's fine with people but the other thing that worries me is that I have recently been diagnosed with a brain tumour which means I have seizures and I don't know what she'd do if we had one while we were out and I let go of the lead. Run off and possibly get knocked over, find her way home, or stand by me and get protective of me if someone tried to help? The seizures also mean I can't drive, so we are limited to routes near where we live, and I'm juggling working part time and looking after my mother who is elderly and has dementia. I have more seizures when I get tired, but I do try to walk her for 45 min to an hour daily.
The other thing she's started to do in the last few weeks is take things such as shoes, slippers, cuddly toys, even books, and rip them up. I let her have it if it's something I'm not bothered about. If it is something she can't have she will sometimes growl at me in a kind of half hearted way if I try to make her drop it. The only thing that seems to work is offering a biscuit to make her drop it, or shouting no at her, which I've only recently tried and is proving effective. I try to keep the things she goes for in another room or out of her reach but any other suggestions welcome. I have actually wondered if she does it deliberately to get a biscuit or if by letting her destroy some things but not others I'm giving her mixed messages.
I've not had a dog before and she is a lovely dog, very loving, very gentle with my mom, good with the cats, and very bright, but although I love her very much sometimes I really struggle, especially when I'm not feeling well. And I have no idea what I'm going to.do if I need surgery to remove the tumour, in terms of someone looking after her while I'm in hospital and walking her while I recover.
Money is really right so I can't afford a dog trainer or dog walker.

there a lot of people who will advise people to give up on reactive dogs not realising how much we love our babies

I wouldn’t advise ‘people’ to give up on reactive dogs, as I agree many issues are trainable, or at least manageable.

But this particular poster has seizures with no warning and a strong potentially fear/dog-aggressive bull breed.

For both the dog and the person here, rehoming to an experienced home via a reputable rescue would be the best outcome.

Yeah, I have never before recommended rehoming, but this isn't a case where someone has underestimated their commitment and needs to pull their fucking socks up, this is a case where dog and human both have real and unfortunately irreconcilable needs.

Yep, our reactive dog was large but manageable and not a biter, and we were both able to control him and work on his issues.

OP is unwell, with no help, limited finances with which to purchase help, with a very strong and fear aggressive dog with serious issues.

The mix of seizures and an unstable dog is also genuinely concerning.

@NoSquirrels

I’m so sorry, but you have to very seriously consider rehoming her and make steps to do so. Anything else is not doing the right thing for this particular dog.

You do not want her to end up with a history that means she cannot be rehomed, or worse.

Yes, I think this a really good point too.

At the moment, the dog is "just" reactive, which, while not ideal, is manageable in the right home and doesn't mean she can't be re-homed. But if the worst happens and she bites someone in fear or while defending OP if she fits, you then end up with a dog who has a bite history who will, more likely than not, end up getting PTS.

Rescues are full of staffies and bull-breeds without bite histories who struggle to find homes - one with a bite history would find it almost impossible, sadly.

Thank you all, lots to think about.

Oh OP, given your health I think you should rehome her purely through a trust though, not Gumtree or personal knowledge etc. I appreciate this would be devestating for you but I'm willing to bet if you had a seizure and something happened then you would be even more devestated. Try to think about it that you're doing the right thing for the dog too.

I honestly think rehoming (via a rescue organisation is best for both you and the dog.

Another one suggesting rehoming here.
Your DD did a wonderful thing in rescuing the dog, but between you you are not able to look after the dog permanently.

I think it's fine you have rehabilitated her to this point. She's a lovely looking dog, very pretty, so she has a good chance of getting a home through a charity.

All the best op, you've given all you can, time to concentrate on your own health.

@Bebeschitt I came along to say a lot of this.

Your girl is beautiful.
We also have a staffie cross and he is STRONG. His jaw, his pull on the lead, he's just a strong dog for his size.

1. She's going to be getting confused if you're allowing him to eat some of your things but not others. I know it's hard when energy levels are low but it's all or nothing - allow her to eat any of your stuff or none of it, otherwise she won't understand what she's doing wrong.

1. Yes, a harness that you can attach the lead to on her chest at the front. The pulling will be easier to control. It goes on a bit like a bra. We got one from Amazon after trying four others and I felt the difference immediately on our walks.

1. Boredom is a thing with staffies. Feeding meals in frozen kongs keeps the entertainment going, and we still occasionally go back to kibble feeding, piece by piece, throwing in all directions so he has to run for them. Also to help him understand 'drop' we do fetch but dropping a treat when you say 'drop' helps her to understand that dropping the ball / shoe / handbag has a reward.

1. Your daughter doesn't sound like the best person to take him if he needs to be rehomed. Sorry, I know that sounds harsh. She needs to understand that with any dog consistency is key, and always having the same reaction helps the dog to be more consistent too.

1. Really sorry about your diagnosis and seizures. I'm a great believer in rehoming being a last resort - would it be worth having a point at which you know you will re home? And hopefully it won't come to that, but in the meantime it sounds like help with walks etc might be useful.

1. Our dog also lunges at random dogs / noisy motorbikes / delivery trucks /skateboards 😂😂. Our walks would be crap without a treat bag filled up with a mixture of kibble / good quality dog treats / the odd bit of hotdog thrown in for good measure. When I hear a loud motorbike coming or see a dog approaching and see him 'stalking' towards the dog, we cross the road and do a bit of 'sit / down / stay' training for a treat. Redirection helps break the barking habit. We did it every time we saw a dog for aaaages and then every second dog, etc, and now he is much better, though not perfect. Seeing the problem before the dog is vital so walks without headphones / phone browsing are a must.

Good luck with whatever course of action you decide to take, and with your health too.