Am I making my dog MORE afraid of dogs?

[dustofneptune]

I adopted a working Cocker together earlier this year. He’s now nearly 18 months old. He’s gorgeous and funny, but a little anxious.

I’ve started to notice that he seems to have a fear of big dogs. When greeting them, he’ll often freeze while they sniff his face, tense up, then snap/snarl if they try to sniff his rear or if they follow him when I call him to me.

On walks, he’s off lead and only greets other dogs with my permission. I don't let him greet many dogs at all really - small or big. And if I see a big dog, I tend to give it a wide berth and call my dog to the other side of me.

The problem is that some dogs will try to greet him anyway and I’m not sure what to do.

My approach is to immediately call him to me to interrupt the greeting. But this often results in the other dog following my dog because they haven’t “fully greeted”. At this point, I usually block the other dog and send them back to their owner.

Friends and family have told me that I’m being too anxious/neurotic and that I need to ease up and just let him greet other dogs. And that I’m preventing him from gaining confidence by always calling him away, and by blocking when dogs follow.

Does anyone have any experience with this?

Also, if anyone has any book recommendations or training tips, I’d be so grateful. I want to find a new behaviourist next year to hopefully help, but in the meantime, I’d really appreciate any advice!

Thanks so much!

You are doing the right thing. You need to prevent all interactions with dogs do work really hard in avoiding off lease dogs.

Books to Help
Controlled Unleased Leslie McDevitt
Click for Calm Emma Parsons
Bat 2.00 Grisha Stewart

If your dog is off-lead, it's generally assumed that he's friendly and that it's okay for other dogs to greet him. If you don't want dogs approaching him, you need to put him on the lead when other dogs are around.

I don't think it's fair to your dog to allow him to be sniffed and approached when you know it makes him uncomfortable. Pop him on the lead and keep him safe and secure.

Keep him on the lead, my dogs terrified of people the ONLY way to stop people trying to pet her (she's small cute and fluffy) is to keep her on the lead

Put him on lead when other dogs are around and dont allow dogs to greet him if it makes him anxious.

Sorry I forgot to say forcing him to face his fears won't make those fears go away, please look for a force free trainer in your area you'd probably only need one session just to show you what you should be doing

Mmm. If he is already stressed from meeting other dogs why are you allowing him to meet other dogs?? He is well on his way to being dog reactive so I'd quit while you are ahead. As owners its our responsibility to be an advocate for our dogs and not put them in situations like you describe. He won't warm up or get better, he will get worse.

It does sound like you are reinforcing the idea that greeting other dogs are bad and should be avoided. Equally if he doesn't like meeting other dogs, it seems right to avoid.
Maybe you need a trainer to help him feel less nervous?

Do you/he have any doggy friends at all?

Thanks everyone for your advice so far. We had a behaviourist previously who told us to keep him off lead since his recall is so great and he sticks close by, as he said being on lead would make him feel more vulnerable and be more likely to react. We’re going to be looking for a new behaviourist in the new year, but just hoped for some opinions in the meantime.

He has a handful of doggy friends, but they’re all smaller than him. We live in an area that is full of toy breeds and don’t know a single big dog that would be a good buddy for him. We’re hoping we might find a trainer who can help with that.

He loves meeting little dogs. It’s the big dogs (labs huskies etc) that seem to make him nervous if they approach.

@Janeandjohnny

Mmm. If he is already stressed from meeting other dogs why are you allowing him to meet other dogs?? He is well on his way to being dog reactive so I'd quit while you are ahead. As owners its our responsibility to be an advocate for our dogs and not put them in situations like you describe. He won't warm up or get better, he will get worse.

For sure. I hear you. How do I avoid him meeting other dogs, though?

As in - if we’re walking in a quiet field, and a big dog comes over (which they ultimately have done when he’s been on lead or off), what is the best action for me to take? Block the dog?

Many times the owner of the dog is far away and by the time they hear me asking them to recall their dog, a greeting is happening.

I just wondered whether teaching him to avoid greeting dogs altogether is potentially making his nervousness of them worse.

just call him away
i think putting him on a lead will make him more anxious, reinforce it,
my dog is very brave as soon as she is on a lead

We had a behaviourist previously who told us to keep him off lead since his recall is so great and he sticks close by, as he said being on lead would make him feel more vulnerable and be more likely to react.

While many dogs can be more reactive on lead, the general assumption amongst dog owners is that off lead = friendly and therefore it's not an issue for their dogs to approach and greet.

Your dog is nervous and has already snapped and I'm afraid to say if he did bite, it would be your fault as the owner for not having your dog under control. Whereas if your dog was on lead, it would be the other owners fault for failing to control and recall their dog.

Put your dog on the lead and prevent the greetings in the first place. If a dog does approach, body block or distract it while shouting the owner.

Hello @dustofneptune

For sure. I hear you. How do I avoid him meeting other dogs, though?

• I would walk in less doggy areas on lead.

As in - if we’re walking in a quiet field, and a big dog comes over (which they ultimately have done when he’s been on lead or off), what is the best action for me to take? Block the dog? - Yes, your dog depends on you to put him in a safe space.

Many times the owner of the dog is far away and by the time they hear me asking them to recall their dog, a greeting is happening. Thats the problem with off lead from other owners, you have less control.

I just wondered whether teaching him to avoid greeting dogs altogether is potentially making his nervousness of them worse I dont think so, on lead you can manage better. I get the behaviourist saying he should be off lead but I think you have better control on. The big thing is to try and avoid interactions as much as you can.
Forget the 'doggy friends' stuff. Dogs dont need friends. Its stressful often for them with other dogs. I never walk my dogs where I will meet other dogs.

It sounds you are giving your dog mixed message.if you tense up,your dog will notice this and becomes tense too.your trainer is right,on lead will probably make your dog more reactive.to me,it sounds your dog is actually ok off lead,he can tolerate short greetings and then just wants to move on.if you call your dog because you want to end the greeting phase,you have to use a toy to give him "a more interesting" distraction.in his mind you call him,because you want to play(and he will follow your lead in play)and not because the other dog is "unpleasant".it sounds your recall is strong enough .I think,your friends are probably right,you are too tense.do you use a toy to play with him on walks?I would do this,it helps the trust between you and your dog( although it seems he settled in with you very well).make the walks a fun event,rather than anticipate trouble.

I'd say yes you are being a bit uptight and will ultimately make your dog uptight

My dog has great recall and I let her greet other dogs she knows all her dog cues
Let's play
Go away
Not interested

She acts accordingly

She s a lovely friendly dog and has only ever told one dog off when he didn't understand those cues tried to jump in her head and generally aggressive

We just walked on

@ponkydonkey

I'd say yes you are being a bit uptight and will ultimately make your dog uptight

My dog has great recall and I let her greet other dogs she knows all her dog cues
Let's play
Go away
Not interested

She acts accordingly

She s a lovely friendly dog and has only ever told one dog off when he didn't understand those cues tried to jump in her head and generally aggressive

We just walked on

Agree totally and by far most of the time dogs actually "understand" each others cues.

I walk my (reactive) dog on a yellow "nervous" lead some people can't read and still approach her but the vast majority take heed, if I let her off her lead she can't speak so no one would know she's reactive

Letting a reactive dog off lead is a recipe for disaster

Agree totally and by far most of the time dogs actually "understand" each others cues

Except some don't and that's where you have problems.

OP has a reactive dog so it shouldn't be off the lead to greet strange dogs. Yes, you'll get some ignorant owners who allow their dogs to approach anyway but by and large people understand that a lead means recall your dog.

Why would you advise someone to allow their snappy, reactive dog to approach and greet others? It's so irresponsible.

Yes - you are making his fear worse.

Every time he’s put in the position of having snap at other dog’s to be left alone that’s another negative experience for him.

If his recall is good, just recall him as soon as you see a dog, and if it comes over anyway, block it and get their owner to recall it.

Yes you’ll still get dogs coming over because owners of dogs like that are usually pretty ignorant, for what it’s worth it actually sounds like the issue isn’t really your dog, he’s giving off very clear signals that’s he’s not up for interacting with them and they’re ignoring him...

Ok, thanks everyone for your advice.

Sounds like I'm being a bit uptight and could be transferring this to him, so I'll work on that and make things lighter and more positive!

Also sounds like most people think it would be better for me to have him on lead while we figure this out.

I don’t think you need to have him on lead really tbh, it might be a plan to put him on when you see a dog - but it’s mostly a signal to other owners to recall their dogs.

Also, IMO, I don’t think you’re really going to get very far with training... he’s not actually doing anything massively inappropriate, the freezing and staring are very clear, back off signals, he’s very probably giving off body language before that as well, he’s being ignored, the other dog goes in anyway, so he backs up the leave me alone message.

The best thing you can do is work out a way that he’s not being put in the situation where he’s having to stop dogs harassing him.

I see you've had a complete mixture of responses so must be more confused than ever! I'm no expert, but I wonder what would happen if you kept your dog off lead (I agree with your trainer - many dogs seem more reactive on lead) and when an off-lead dog starts coming towards you, you greet it in a 'hello gorgeous, who are you then!' kinda way and try and interact in a friendly way with the dog yourself. That way, your body language would be much more relaxed for your dog, and you may also find the approaching dog is more interested in being petted by you than in your dog, giving your dog time to adjust and relax, and possibly even instigate the greeting.

I have a very friendly and dog-savvy dog (formerly a stray overseas so he is exceptional at reading and giving cues) and I'm dog mad so always greet dogs cheerfully when they approach (as I have no fear, knowing that my dog is absolutely fine greeting), so it's probably a 'virtuous circle' where my relaxed and confident behavior is making my dog relaxed.

I wouldn't say he needs to be on lead all the time if he has good recall but he certainly should go back on when you see other dogs, or else other owners are going to think he's friendly and happy to greet theirs when that's obviously not the case.

I walk a border collie who is a right sod with other dogs but his recall is perfect so I always have him off-lead unless I see another dog, at which point he gets called back and popped on lead.

The issue with having him off around other dogs is that everyone assumes that off-lead means friendly and you really don't want to end up in a situation where your dog snaps and a fight breaks out.

I always put mine back on the lead if I see another dog on the lead approaching, but my dog has good dog manners and isn’t at all aggressive so if the other one is off-lead I’d assume mine was fine to say hello.
You’re not giving anyone a signal that your dog isn’t friendly, so nobody knows. Then when you have to ‘block’ the other dog and send it back to its owner you create an incident around the presence of the other dog.

I think you are doing well, usually my best approach is just to walk on and if the other dog follows, block it and call owner.

My one is friendly to most but hates certain breeds after being attacked so if we meet a Husky or a Shepherd I will put him on the lead and swiftly walk away. My one is a terrier and a wuss but will pretend to be super tough and will start barking and snarling etc. I find it's the owners of young boisterous dogs that are the biggest problem and also the ones that don't particularly know dogs body language etc

Have your dog got any doggy friends he can practice his social skills with? Older dogs and females tend to work quite well for my dog.

My dog also doesn't like unknown dogs approaching him especially dogs bigger than him (which is most other dogs!) We manage it by keeping my dog on lead around other dogs and as much as possible keep a wide berth of other dogs. If we do have to walk past a dog I keep high value treats in my pocket to immediately reward my dog for walking past nicely.

My dog does have a few 'mates' though, dogs he knows and feels comfortable with. These are dogs of friends and a few dogs we see frequently locally that he feels happy around.