Getting a dog - realities to consider?

[MoonCowbag]

Hello!

I'd love to get some insight from dog owners.

I have a long, long, long term plan to rescue an ex-racing greyhound. It's taken many year to get to the point where the dream may become a reality in the non-too-distant future.

I've found a great rescue with a personal touch and fantastic track record in matching dogs to homes. I've done LOTS of research into the breed and I'm sure it's a good match for us. I grew up with dogs (until I left home in early twenties) so I'm not utterly clueless and "know" dogs. I feel very much that I'm prepared and responsible.

Now the dream is getting closer to becoming a reality, my husband is getting more interested in the "drawbacks" of having a dog. He's not at all adverse to the dog plan but I think he wants to be certain that we've considered all angles.

In particular the two areas I'd like insight are:

We've discussed that it may make visiting some places (that don't allow dogs) more tricky, but that the dog will (once settled-in) will most likely be able to be left alone for a few hours for this kind of thing (occasionally). We've discussed that we could book a dog walker or even a pet-sitter if it's going to be too long for the dog to realistically be left. Or could ask members of our joint families who would happily look after a dog (there are quite a few options to choose from). Ultimately I plan to integrate the dog into our daily lifestyle as much as possible, but sometimes there will be things we need/want to do where we can't take the dog, but I don't think this is an insurmountable hurdle.

He's also worried it will impact our ability to go on holiday abroad. For this I would either a) leave dog with aforementioned close extended family members or b) a pet-sitter (there are several locally that "board" dogs, or c) as a last resort there is an option to use a kennel. We would only go on holiday abroad once, maybe twice at the absolute max a year. Other holidays would be UK and we'd take time to find dog-friendly accommodation and take Dear Dog with us.

I'm assuming this is how most people who have a dog manage these kinds of situations? But I don't have the best frame of reference because growing up my parents didn't do ANYTHING if the dog couldn't come (slight exaggeration but not by much). My mum wouldn't fly and would never go abroad so there was never the issue of leaving a dog somewhere while going on holiday. Ditto day trips - we would generally do things where the dog could come. I have some memory of leaving dog with grandparents on only a few occasions.

So basically I'm making the assumption that most people that have dogs don't totally stop going anywhere dog unfriendly and don't stop going abroad completely... but I just want to check with the general consensus that my plans sound sensible and fair...? Or am I barking (ha!) up the wrong tree...

Side note: I do know that we might end up with a dog that cannot be left or has separation anxiety and needs special care (DH and I have discussed this is a risk you take when getting an animal like a dog) but this is something specific that we'll discuss with the rescue when we are in the process of selecting a dog to try and get the best fit. And I also know that the dog will need to be well settled with us before we do go anywhere and will ideally need to get to know the person he/she is being left with beforehand, etc.

I would just say that in my experience a good kennel is a safer/ less stressful place for some dogs than home boarding or pet sitting.
We have a lovely kennel - it’s about an hour from home, but seriously, I have stayed in worse hotels. They have fenced in exercise fields, clean runs, tv/ radio in room and isolation from scary neighbours.
My beautiful labs are happier with each other in such a place than trying to fit with someone else’s ‘rules’.
But whichever works for your dog, it is do-able.

TBH I find the odd days out the hardest thing to cover with ddogs - but we don't have any family to help and now have a lovely lady that will pop in and let the dogs in the garden. She's actually a cat sitter (and does cat and chicken sit for us) but is happy to be paid for 30 minutes chatting with the dogs (but doesn't dog walk).
With going away, you just have to be organised as good places book up waay in advance. Mine go to a home boarder who fosters for the rescue they both came from, in fact she fostered ddog2 and they adore it. But it is harder to find home boarders who take bigger dogs, and esp those who understand sighthounds. Mine adore going to their Aunty, ddog1 more than ddog2 who is a bit stressy but running round in her pack of lurchers makes them very happy.
So I think you have a good plan, and if you are getting a grey (though I'll pitch for considering an adult lurcher too, there are so many lovely dogs in rescue, check out EGLR) then you will meet lots of other owners so you can ask about daycare, walkers, boarders etc

Ah thank you both, that's really helpful.

The rescue we're planning to use will take dogs back as boarders, so that is also an option (although it's not local to us so may not be practical). It's interesting to know that you favour a kennel @Quickchangeartiste as I had heard mixed things about them.

"Let's have a day out" becomes a bit less spontaneous. Fewer zoos, theme parks and attractions and no weekends away or city breaks without help from elsewhere.

We've discussed that it may make visiting some places (that don't allow dogs) more tricky, but that the dog will (once settled-in) will most likely be able to be left alone for a few hours for this kind of thing (occasionally). We've discussed that we could book a dog walker or even a pet-sitter if it's going to be too long for the dog to realistically be left. Or could ask members of our joint families who would happily look after a dog (there are quite a few options to choose from). Ultimately I plan to integrate the dog into our daily lifestyle as much as possible, but sometimes there will be things we need/want to do where we can't take the dog, but I don't think this is an insurmountable hurdle.

Your plans sound fine, but just remember if you want professional care, you'll need to make sure you book it well in advance, especially at weekends as many walkers don't want to be tied into working those days. I am a walker and I do weekends for one client who works shifts but only because her dogs can come out with mine so it's not a load of extra hassle.

He's also worried it will impact our ability to go on holiday abroad. For this I would either a) leave dog with aforementioned close extended family members or b) a pet-sitter (there are several locally that "board" dogs, or c) as a last resort there is an option to use a kennel. We would only go on holiday abroad once, maybe twice at the absolute max a year. Other holidays would be UK and we'd take time to find dog-friendly accommodation and take Dear Dog with us.

Again, it sounds fine - what environment works best will depend entirely on your dog. Mine would never cope in kennels and so he goes to a local home boarder or a family member, but other dogs cope much better in the structure of kennels :) it's worth remembering too that most holiday accommodation in the UK won't allow you to leave your dogs unattended at all, so bear that in mind when you're booking meals out and activities.

And yes, spontaneous days/nights out are definitely the hardest.

eg. you can't go straight out after work as you need to get home for the dog or pay for someone to come in and walk him/let him out.

Whole days out become much harder (unless they're dog friendly) as you need to arrange care for the dog at home - either a sitter, boarding or multiple visits from a dog walker. Lots of places aren't dog friendly and once you factor in travel, a meal etc. you can't actually do that much!

I love greys.
A good friend has one. Re the reality of it, they’ve never been pets, theirs was TERRIFIED of the TV. Just having it on quietly would be enough to have it cowering behind something in another room and was also for a long time reluctant to go into the living room full stop.

It took their dog to take a long time to enjoy affection, and he is quite cat like in that it is very much on his terms, he’ll come for a cuddle but not super regularly and doesn’t like being approached for a fuss. I’ve heard others say the same.

He is as lazy as they say, happy with a half an hour walk, would never go jogging or on a hike.

He is a lovely dog, and has been super rewarding but obviously with a rescue, very careful research is needed

Our girl is a rescue but a yorkie

1. She can be left for 4-5 hours without an accident and without any distress (I spent a lot of time annoying my DH and watching her on our home security cameras to check ) we worked up to this starting really small (taking bins out when she was distracted with food)

This means we can pop out for dinner or do shopping or visit friends but we do keep an eye on the time as we don’t like her to think of her in distress.

1. All dogs are different.

We got a dog in part because my mum lives nearby and can look after our dog when we go away. Her dogs and ours are in and out of each others houses and see each other 3+ times per week so our girl is fine when we go as she loves my mum but even then, first few times we went away she was a bit antsy. If that wasn’t possible we would have to have a live in sitter as we know we simply could not leave her in a kennel as she would get WAY too sweaty scared and distressed. She likes what she knows and was a very nervy girl when we got her

I have two dogs. I trained them from the start to be used to being on their own. I work from home so am usually around, but i go out almost every day, and on the odd occasion all day. They are fine - a good walk before I go, no fussing, and they are set. I've never had a dog with separation anxiety. I treat them as dogs, not substitute children.
I have a friend who is a sahm, she has a dog and had made him sooo needy. She makes a big fuss of him before she goes out, giving him a treat and sending him to his bed and closing him in the kitchen - all cues that make him increasingly anxious. Then makes a huge fuss when she gets home. Of course he freaks out, so now she feels she can hardly leave the house!
My understanding is greyhounds are a calm breed. You set the boundaries and treat them well, work out a liveable routine, and they will be fine.
I kennel my dogs should I ever go away, and the kennel staff love them as they are calm yet happy dogs, so they get extra attention and walks!

The biggest drawback is that having a dog kills spontaneity. Unless you get a dog sitter- which needs to be planned well in advance, you can't do a whole day out.

Also your weekends become quite same-y as you inevitably end up in woods / parks etc as outside of these type of places there aren't many other places you can take the dog.

We use a dog day care for holidays, who is wonderful and our dog loves going there. One thing to have on your radar is that our lady will only board dogs if they attend her day care regularly as well. All the other local dog sitters have the same policy so kennels might be the only option for you if it's the same where you live.

Thanks again for all the helpful responses. I appreciate each and every one.

We are not an overly spontaneous family so that aspect doesn't worry me too much. Our most spontaneous plans usually involve popping out for food and we are lucky to have a LOT of dog-friendly eateries in our local area. But I will bear this in mind and speak to my husband about it in more detail.

The greyhound rescue we are using is part of a working kennel and all of the dogs spend time in the owners home, undergo work with small animals/other dogs of different (smaller) breeds, etc. she really gets to know the dogs and their foibels before rehoming, which is a reason we picked this particular place.

I have a lot to discuss with DH now, but is mainly good to hear that I am not living in cloud cuckoo land.

I'm going to spend some time doing research into our local kennels and dog sitters. My FIL is a widower (and a big softie) so I am hopeful he will fall in love with DDog and be willing to help us out when needed (it works with the children). He obviously has a quiet home so would be ideal. My parents have their own dog, so slightly more complicated but could be ideal if the dogs get along. We have a couple of other options available to us too that we can explore.

I guess until we get a dog and start getting to know him/her we won't know what is going to work best.

My dog is fine left for a few hours. If we have a bigger day out I've so far been able to book my dog walker for a one off extra. My neighbour has a key and would nip round to let her in the garden if we had done kind of emergency. Our days out are often things like going to the coast so the dog comes along for those. We've only had her 2 years so holidays abroad have been limited! Generally we go for dog friendly uk cottages but family had her when we had a no dogs week away last summer and I'm planning the same if we go abroad next summer. It's actually been much easier than I thought it would be but she is very easy going.

It sounds like you have a sensible balanced view of what life would be like with a dog and I think it's a great sign how much time and thought you are putting into it. I often describe having a dog as having a never ending toddler 😊

We assumed that our in laws would help with our dog, as they regularly do with SIL's dog (like three times a week) but they actually never have and likely never will help with our dog - we didn't appreciate that they would not feel comfortable with a big dopey Labrador vs SIL's King Charles cavalier. Also our lab and the King Charles hate each other so SIL can't help either so for us it's dog sitter or no one. If you can get FIL to help than great, just don't bank on it!

Other 'issues'.
The cost - food, insurance, jabs etc.
The smell and the hair everywhere.
The mud in winter 🙈
Being relentlessly responsible for something else.

Important consideration is not everyone likes dogs. We have real issues with a family member who just doesn’t respect that we don’t like their (unpredictable and poorly mannered) rescue dog around our toddler. (We have nothing against dogs in general)

It’s caused much tension. So don’t just “expect” it will be ok to take the dog to peoples houses or that people will want to visit you at home, especially if you’re not prepared to keep the dog restrained at all.

Honestly, you sound lovely and as prepared for a dog as you can be.

My adopted dog can be left for 4-5 hours no problem. He initially struggled; but once he'd settled in and we'd done a little work with him (not making a fuss when coming in, etc.), he was totally fine.

Most people choose to have someone come tend to their dog if they're going to be gone longer than 4-5 hrs. If your future doggo is comfortable being alone, you'll still be able to go out and live your lives, go to dinner, etc., no problem! If not, you'll need to train them, and this can be straightforward, or it can be lengthy and complicated. It's really difficult to predict.

For holiday care, you can use kennels, dog hotels, sitters, or boarders. If your future dog is non-reactive and easygoing, it should be no problem finding someone to care for your doggo.

It can be very difficult to find boarding options for sensitive, reactive, boisterous, or very nervous dogs. Most ask for dogs to be well-socialised, dog-friendly, and people-friendly. Options amongst friends/family can also dwindle rapidly if doggo is too much for them to manage. This is definitely something to consider when talking to the rescue about what issues you feel equipped to take on (especially given your husband's fears of losing independence). It can be really tempting to take on a dog with a lot of problems, because they just melt your heart.

It is said that rescue dogs usually take about 3 months to properly settle into your routine. So you'd want to plan for maybe 6 months with no major holiday plans. Otherwise, no problems at all with still going overseas (apart from missing the dog!).

Other 'issues'.
The cost - food, insurance, jabs etc.
The smell and the hair everywhere.
The mud in winter 🙈
Being relentlessly responsible for something else.

I love this post. We have considered the cost and confident we can afford the associated costs.
The "hair everywhere" is one of the reasons I like the idea of a short-haired breed (although that is quite low down on my list of priorities overall).

And I have children so I am used to mud and the relentless responsibility!

@Tonimacaroni80 - we are lucky that most of our close friends and relatives do like dogs. But I would never assume we could take DDog to visit without checking first. And I would happily keep dog away from any visitors who didn't feel comfortable. I also do not like badly behaved dogs so would plan to do any training necessary if there are any behavioural issues.

@dustofneptune that is a really helpful post. Thank you!

Honestly I am putting more thought into this than I did into having either of my children.

I recently advised a friend not to get a dog. I gave her a long list of reasons. She ignored me and went ahead anyway. She now hugely regrets it and wishes she'd never done it.

I would also consider the size. Greys are lovely, we considered one before our Bedlington entered our lives. He is a comparatively small dog, we met a greyhound bitch at the vet last night. She was adorable but so huge compared to ours.
My DH said imagine the room she takes up

getting a dog has been the best thing that has happened to us in years but I am an introvert so don't have a burning desire to be out all the time anyway

I would also read the puppy thread on here - I know it's not a puppy you're necessarily getting but it gives you a good idea of the early days and how tough it can be.

I would also concur with what everyone else has said about support. What has been our saving grace is the fact that we found a fantastic walker - one that specialises in our type of dog.

I will admit to it changing us though. I actually really enjoy being with the dog and doing stuff with him so we do plan holidays where he can come. We haven't been abroad since we got him (though Covid has helped that!). My family live abroad so I will have to go back to doing it at some point but at the moment, my desire for those type of holidays has changed.

I also do not like badly behaved dogs so would plan to do any training necessary if there are any behavioural issues

It’s not always that simple though, our family member has spent a fortune on various dog specialists and whilst the dog has improved, it still shows signs of aggression and I’m still not comfortable having it loose around my toddler. Unfortunately as a rescue with deep issues it seems unlikely this dog will ever completely change, and I would never trust it anyway with a child.

So on Christmas Day my parents have to choose between me & my family or my sibling and their dog, we can’t all have Christmas together (shutting dog in another room is not an option as it goes mad)

I was you last year! 3 months into having homed a greyhound now...

Things I'd wish I'd known:
*how difficult it would be, how nervous he would be. It was a shock to see how he froze, how hard to walk. I've now adapted and we are much better we do the same walk twice a day and only go somewhere more adventurous with other people. Today when we saw another reactive dog he just looked at me for treats so I felt like an amazing trainer . He also made friends with an elderly lab. I would not have thought this would be possible a few weeks ago .
*I can't leave him at all ever. I have been training- got to an hour. Now back at ten mins. This is my biggest issue. I book pet sitters for each and any trips out the house and going to try home boarder but I think I may need to use a sitter for holidays Finding this really hard . Can't even take dd to GP. If you have family who can help this will be easier though, I don't and am LP.

Things that have been easier :
*nighttime, he's down from 8! On his own downstairs
*house training - no probs
*no sleep startle , I was worried about this
*gentle with all other dogs even small ones .

Also we have a tiny house and he is huge. Not a problem. Three of us sit on the one sofa. No probs with hair or mud .

@Theywalkamongstus that's helpful. Care to share? Do you have a dog?

@SieveBrain that's lovely to read.

@Tonimacaroni80 yes, I totally appreciate that. My parents last rescue was a neurotic yellow lab who had been mistreated. He bit several people while they had him (including me). He was a nightmare. He passed away before I had my children and I have to say it was a relief. He is the only dog I have ever been afraid of. I personally would not take on a dog from the kind of rescue that takes any dog and where a dogs past is potentially a mystery. That is another reason we are going breed specific and ex-racing greyhounds usually have a well known past and an idea of temperament. Although that doesn't entirely rule out the issue of behavioural issues, but it does minimise them. Greyhounds as a breed have their own foibles but I'm prepared for these having done research into the breed at length. Obviously will be discussing our situation and what we feel we can cope with at length with the rescue before proceeding.

I know they are quite a large dog, but I am a sucker for a big beast! We have the space thankfully. I am fully prepared to have my sofa invaded by a roaching grey on a regular basis.

Sorry, this thread has kind of gotten off the point slightly. I appreciate all the useful insights though.