I think I need to put my dog to sleep

[Swifey40]

But how? And how do I broach it with the children who are 6 and 9.
She ddog is 17 years old and physically not too bad, but.... she has dementia, so life is pretty horrible for her and pretty horrible for me and my family. She is now incontinent, not because she is physically ill, just because she doesn't know where she is, and doesn't recognise that the garden is where she goes to the loo. Therefore she has to be locked in the utility room which is unfair on her. It is also unfair on her daughter who is 10 and doesn't understand why she's suddenly locked away from us. Unfortunately the older dd will only settle (and that's only sometimes) when the youngest ddog is in with her. She doesn't really settle though and spends her life walking round and round and howling which is heart breaking. I think that we have come to the point where she is not having a nice life, the younger ddog is not having a nice life and we are not functioning as a family because of it. Do firstly do I phone the vet and will they put her to sleep for me? And what do I tell my children. Do I send them to school, and then put ddog to sleep and then when they come back say that she was poorly in the day and died? I don't think they understand too much about how awful it is for the younger dog, and how awful it I for me and my husband dealing with all the poo and wee and howling. It's just a totally horrible situation. Anyone been in a similar one? TIA

Poor pup, it's all about quality of life and right now, you're making the right call.

Kids can handle this better than we think they can. Phone the vet and make the appointment. Sit the kids down and tell them straight what's going to happen, that way they have time to say their goodbyes and know she's going to no longer be suffering and confused. They will be able to see the dog is sad, distressed, not the happy pup they used to know. Everyone can have a good cry, and that's totally allowed.

If the dog’s quality of life is diminished (sounds like it is) then it’s definitely the right time. Not sure what to advise on the children. Perhaps give them a day to spoil her and give her lots of love and then say she’s going to heaven?

@bunnygeek

Poor pup, it's all about quality of life and right now, you're making the right call.

Kids can handle this better than we think they can. Phone the vet and make the appointment. Sit the kids down and tell them straight what's going to happen, that way they have time to say their goodbyes and know she's going to no longer be suffering and confused. They will be able to see the dog is sad, distressed, not the happy pup they used to know. Everyone can have a good cry, and that's totally allowed.

This.

Worst part about being a dog owner, sending you lots of love

Feel sick at the thought of telling the children but it can't go on, the mental health of our younger dog is suffering too.
It's so horrible. I've had dogs all my life and I've obviously been lucky, but they have all got very physically ill, and then they have either died naturally or I have put them down after a very brief but obvious physical illness.

Tell the children let them say bye and be open about why invite questions.

Hugs to you as this is such a sad read and yes as said above the hardest part of being a pet owner

So sorry OP that you've reached this point in your dog's life. It does sound like saying goodbye would be the kindest thing you can do all round and the greatest gift you can give to your lovely dog.
My boys were about 9 and 12 when we had to say goodbye to our first dogga. I explained that Max wasn't well and wasn't going to get any better. That we were going to take him to see the vet and there was a chance that he wouldn't be coming home with us and encouraged them to spend some quiet time with him saying their goodbyes. It wasn't easy and broke my heart seeing them with him for the last time but they took it in their stride and handled it probably better than I did.
Hugs to you all. Not an easy time but take heart that you're doing the right thing.

@bunnygeek

Poor pup, it's all about quality of life and right now, you're making the right call.

Kids can handle this better than we think they can. Phone the vet and make the appointment. Sit the kids down and tell them straight what's going to happen, that way they have time to say their goodbyes and know she's going to no longer be suffering and confused. They will be able to see the dog is sad, distressed, not the happy pup they used to know. Everyone can have a good cry, and that's totally allowed.

This.

Sadly, it does sound like the right time.

We have been through this a few times in my dc’s lives. Even though it’s hard, we always prepare them, answer all their questions and have a good cry together. It gives them time to say their goodbyes.

Sometimes it can help to come up ideas for a ‘best last day’ that the dc can help to plan and/or some way the family wants to commemorate her loss (having a portrait painted, putting together a photo album of favourite memories, planting a tree, etc).

We are on a similar path with our 16 year old dog now, but my dc are a lot older (13-20). We’ve kept an open, honest dialogue about his health and prognosis and they all know he doesn’t have long. My eldest is neurodiverse with mh issues and our dogs have always been a lot of support and security for him. He also has huge issues with ‘death’ as a concept and finds it terrifying, but by slowly preparing him and explaining things, he has been able to understand that when one of our dogs is suffering and we can’t help them anymore it’s kinder for them just to go to sleep.

Like you, despite having dogs for 30 years, we’ve never had one just get older and older, with no clear cut illness or sudden event that makes it a definitive decision that has to be made quickly. I have found this so much harder to get my head around and am less confident of my decisions about him. It’s really tough and I feel for you and your family.

Do your dc know about death in general? Our ddog was pts last year.. I obviously did a rubbish job of explaining to ds 6 as about 4 months later he asked why ddog was still at the vet and could she come home.
We have no real experience of losing anyone /anything here...

It sounds like she has zero quality of life so definitely the right decision, and as soon as possible. If you've got the funds there are companies that will come to your home and do it there rather than take her to the vet which is a nicer end for them.

Hello , We are in the same boat although with less incontinence at the moment . Our old girl is 17 and we have a 12 month old dog as well . Our old lady def has dementia and wanders around aimlessly putting her head in odd places and just standing there for ages . She still eats and has the odd accident. She is just not the same sharp little terrier that she was . I suppose like you I know it is probably time to consider euthanasia for her but it’s such a hard decision to make , Good luck it’s very hard but we can’t make them young again sadly xx

Ditsy321

Hello , We are in the same boat although with less incontinence at the moment . Our old girl is 17 and we have a 12 month old dog as well . Our old lady def has dementia and wanders around aimlessly putting her head in odd places and just standing there for ages . She still eats and has the odd accident. She is just not the same sharp little terrier that she was . I suppose like you I know it is probably time to consider euthanasia for her but it’s such a hard decision to make , Good luck it’s very hard but we can’t make them young again sadly xx

Yes, she needs to go now. Yes, the vet will do it with no argument if you tell them what you've said here.
Just (as a pp has said) make sure the 6yo understands that she has died and won't be coming back. 'Putting to sleep' is a tricky euphemism for young children.

@Swifey40 I had my terrier put to sleep in July because of her dementia.

She was 14, still continent, eating well, and was reasonably lucid when she woke up. However by lunchtime she was pacing in circles and getting stuck in corners/behind furniture. She had to be crated a lot in the afternoon/overnight to avoid her pacing herself into exhaustion and falling over.

Physically she was still ok, could run up the garden after our other dog in the morning when I let them out, but her quality of life was terrible.
I had a vet come to the house and she was put to sleep on the sofa, I felt so much better when it was done. I’d been asking myself if it was time since Christmas, in hindsight I should have done it earlier.
I got her when I was 22 so this was the first time I had to make the decision for as an adult. I’ll be quicker to decide with my current dogs, it’s such a kind thing we are able to do for them. I’d explain it to your kids like that too.

@villainousbroodmare

Yes, she needs to go now. Yes, the vet will do it with no argument if you tell them what you've said here. Just (as a pp has said) make sure the 6yo understands that she has died and won't be coming back. 'Putting to sleep' is a tricky euphemism for young children.

This. Please don't use the phrase 'going to sleep'. It confuses kids and makes them think anyone having a general anaesthetic or (sometimes) just going to bed at night is going to die.

It's really hard and I'm so sorry, but I think you're making the right decision.