No tail wags, feel like I've failed ddog

[DangerMouse0]

Just wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar and has any advice?

Around 4 years ago dh and I rescued ddog from local animal shelter. We were told well in advance that ddog had been kept outdoors in a metal cage in all weathers, used for breeding and very badly treated. Shelter had got him used to household noises etc, but he would take time to get used to normal life.

After rescue it took ddog roughly 6-8 months to come fully out of his shell, his little personality emerged and he's just so wonderful, the absolute centre of our world. I had dogs growing up but this is different, the love I feel for him is on another level and we make sure he gets the very best of everything.

However, his tail never wags for us, and that's not something I've ever seen with a dog before. At first we thought maybe it couldn't due to damage or trauma of some kind but it does wag fiercely during sleep and he absolutely loves one vet at our local practice, wags his tail every time he sees her and is visibly happy.

Whilst he follows me everywhere and seeks me out in the room for tummy scratches and endless cuddles, neither dh or I ever get a wag. Which leads me to think - is he unhappy? Are we doing something wrong? I told dh's vet friend and he said, "God, I wouldn't admit that to anyone, they'll think you're treating him badly." And now I feel terrible, like not only had ddog had an awful start in life, he's now been rehomed to a family he doesn't like.

Has anyone else ever heard of anything similar? It's really making me sad for him now. I feel like I'm failing him.

He doesn't sound unhappy, op, sounds as if he has a wonderful life with you.

Perhaps he only wags his tail when especially excited by something? Maybe it's also down to nervous tension...Many dogs find the vets nerve-wracking and if one particular vet makes him feel good perhaps it's a nervous release of relief?

My ddog wags his tail for us - but never, ever at dogs (which is a bit of a nightmare as he can very occasionally take against a dog at random - but I just cannot tell, as it’s not like he wags it at dogs he’s perfect happy to play with).

I'm no dog expert.
Do you think he feels safe and relaxed but not excited around you? Whereas with the nice vet he's surprised?

A bit like your kids getting excited about Disney dad or a playmate whereas you are just mum? Doesn't mean you aren't the ground under his feet!

He follows you everywhere for tummy rubs and cuddles. He loves you!
He's like a child that learnt not to cry or laugh as a baby. He will, but not routinely like others do.

Don't be sad. He loves you! And he's lucky to have you.

Oh bless you. I can understand why that is heartbreaking.

But if he’s wagging his tail in his sleep then he is having fabulous dreams of his day to day life with you.

My dog is waggy with me now, and with most dogs and some people's. It's taken four and a half years and antidepressants to achieve his current level of relaxed Joie de vivre. He still has some issues and always will have. He is 8 and a half. A Battersea Boy who came to us, his third family, with a long list of issues.

So patience and time and hopefully your dog will wag for you.

And accept that the way he is isn't anything to do with his current happy lovely life, it's due to past trauma that can't all always be fixed.

I was told by a dog trainer that dogs wag their tails for lots of different reasons, I’ve quickly googled to find something showing this dog tail wags.

Perhaps as the provider there is a level of anxiety related you as well as love due to his past experiences. A bit like children who have attachment disorders and find it difficult to trust the adults who look after them but can be instant best friends with random adults.

@WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor
Perhaps as the provider there is a level of anxiety related you as well as love due to his past experiences. A bit like children who have attachment disorders and find it difficult to trust the adults who look after them but can be instant best friends with random adults
I can relate to this regarding my dog. Building trust has taken infinite time and patience and is ongoing. He can however sometimes be all over a random stranger. Sometimes I think people remind him of his original owner. He is a profoundly loyal loving dog who has been so hurt by being rehomed. Twice.

I am my dog’s world. She is happy - she does miss me when I go away.

However, when she sees my sister, niece or the lady at doggy daycare she dances with excitement and does a happy squirmy, wiggle piss with excitement.

On the rare occasion I have been away for a few days I’m almost disappointed she doesn’t greet me so excitedly.

I worry she has more fun with them but really I know deep down I may not be so exciting but I am her world.

If yours is wagging his tail in his sleep I think he’s probably a very happy boy.

Bit like living with a teenager!

@DangerMouse0

Aww try not to be sad! You're his world! He takes you for granted (like kids).

He's excited to see the others because they're a fun novelty, he lives you eith a more quiet, more deep love & knows your 'his'

Our dog is docked and has about 5” of tail ,the only time he really wags his tail is when he is playing ball / out for a walk . Your dog sounds very happy @DangerMouse0 so I’d stop worrying about it .

The fact the dog follows you everywhere and exposes their belly for tummy rubs-which is the ultimate trust a dog can show to another ,then there is no problem.One of my dogs goes up to everyone and wags her tail - she loves fuss but ‘my’ ddog only dies with a select few.He doesn’t do belly rubs or fuss or strokes etc.Instead he has to be by my side or snuggles up by my back.He is soft as a brush-and the grand children he adores and has to be half sat on them when they visit.If you didn’t know him though you would think he’s either unhappy or stand offish.

A small tail wags quicker.

Thank you for all of your replies, you've given some perspectives I hadn't thought of and I feel a bit better for them.

I hope I really am his world, he definitely is mine. I hate the thought he can still remember the sadness and fear of his previous home.

Dogs live in the moment.

I have an adult rescue dog and she barely wags her tail happily at home. Sadly she will wag it in fear, she is quite timid so unexpected noises like the letterbox frighten her.
But she follows me around the house, lies on a hard ground instead of any one of her comfy beds if it's closer to me and she rolls over to show me her belly when I get up to pee in the night, just in case I fancied giving her a quick rub at 2am
She loses her life for the dog walker, tail wagging, jumping on the spot, whining the lot!
I would be jealous if I wasn't so relieved that he is obviously good to her. Also I know he keeps bits of sausage in his pocket for her!

I’ve read that a dog wagging it’s tail is not always happiness but a ‘I’m ready to interact’ signal. So for some dogs it’s ‘I’m OK to interact with you’ as in your case, the vet he likes. With you he doesn’t need to signal this as he isn’t worried about any thing. With other dogs they will interact with a tail wag at anything, I think for you, your dog does it when they ‘need’ to so take it as a compliment, they couldn’t be more relaxed with you