Putting dog to sleep - feeling guilty

[Dahlia5]

My 15 year dog's health is going downhill. She's on arthritis medication (multiple drugs), incontinence tablets, liver tablets. She's had a successful cancer treatment a couple of years ago but gone deaf since then and got signs of dementia. She's been high maintenance for the last few months but the last couple of weeks have been horrendous. She's gotten wobbly on her paws so she bumps into furniture (hit herself in the eye lately - recovered with vets help). She's also fallen down the stairs and injured herself (she's recovered from that too and we have now safety gates and carry her up and down). She's up all night, having very bad cough and wandering around the house whining. She now gets frequent diarrhoeas too. Trip to the vets are evey week now. She's become reluctant to go for a walk when it gets cold or wet so we have to carry her to the grass down the road. She's lost interest in play or cuddles, but still gets really excited about food.
I have been considering putting her to sleep, but feel so bad and guilty about it. I keep thinking that maybe she'll get a bit better again, that she can still walk and eat so it feels wrong.
She's been a wonderful friend and companion for the last 15 years and it's so heartbreaking. At the same time the quality of life is not the same for her and she's not getting younger. My quality of life is also very poor due to this as I have a 2 month old baby and sometimes feel like I spend more time looking after the dog than the baby. I'm also very sleep deprived because of that extra care at night while the dog's up (on top of my night care for a baby). I don't want this to be the factor but wanted to mention it to show a full picture.
Please let me know what you'd do in this situation. Am I being horrible to consider (and potentially act on) putting her to sleep.

Your ddog sounds like it's suffering a lot, I don't think there is any recovering from anything that is wrong with them. It would be kinder to let them go and ease their suffering.

There's a very wise saying - "better a week too soon than a day too late."

She's got a very poor quality of life now and she's only going to get worse. Please do the right thing by her - book her in, give her all her favourite foods (in small quantities) and let her go with love.

I think it’s the right time. I’m so sorry 💐

We have recently been through this, 3 weeks ago actually.

Our 10.5 year old rottweiler suddenly had to be put down a week after giving birth. The vet said we could try insulin treatment for the diabetes but he’s so unwell we may never find the right dose and he’s very uncomfortable. As soon as I heard that we knew it had to be, we had to put him to sleep, I can’t watch my best friend be uncomfortable and in pain whilst we try different things.

I’d written posts on here a few times about him, after our first baby he bit the postman. Then I thought he was going deaf because he would only move if you were mid step on top of him, I fell often. He started getting milky eyes and smelling really bad even after a shower. His hind legs were struggling. He was grumpy. Didn’t like to climb the stairs or jump on the bed anymore.

It’s harrowing and I’m crying typing this, I’m so not anywhere near ok with him passing. But know that soon, you will have to go through it, do it whilst they’re still relatively comfortable and you can choose the time/day. Spend a few days doing all the things you both love.

I think you know when it’s time to make that call. It’s a final act of love for a family member who is suffering.

Sorry you’re in this situation with her, I’ve been there with our old dog and I know how hard it is to come to the realisation it’s time to let them go.

It sounds like she’s suffering a lot, and at 15 she’s a really good age and has had a wonderful and loved life with you.

It would be the kindest thing to let her go now before she hurts herself again, sending lots of love xx

A hard decision but it’s time, better now arranging an appt than an emergency situation which would be harder for everyone. Really sorry.

The greatest gift we can give our pets is a dignified end. It sounds like she has no quality of life anymore.
It's hard as owners. We made this decision last year for our old boy and as awful as it was for us, it was the right thing for him.
We had him cremated and put his ashes in a pot with a lovely little tree in.
Give her another day or two of love, cuddles and her favourite food.

Its the kindest thing you can do. Please dont delay or put it off. One of the responsibilities of having a dog is being able to end their suffering. Im so sorry but you absolutely should not feel guilty. Dont let ot drag on. If you can, have the vet come to the house? Good luck, we had to do it last year and I felt exactly like you but no regrets afterwards just relief. You are doing it for them not for you.

It will hurt but you have to do it.
Do not keep him going when he is in the state he is - he cannot tell you how 'everything hurts' and he wants it to stop.

I have had 3 dogs before and each one of them reached the stage your poor dog is at - some over months and in the case of my dog who died last year she went downhill in a week.
The sadness and the guilt is always with you but you realise in the end that it was the kindest thing to do.
My heart goes out to you - it is heartbreaking for you

@Sarahlou63

There's a very wise saying - "better a week too soon than a day too late."

She's got a very poor quality of life now and she's only going to get worse. Please do the right thing by her - book her in, give her all her favourite foods (in small quantities) and let her go with love.

I was just about to say THIS.

Absolutely this.

You sound like a wonderful owner @Dahlia5 and it seems to me that it really is time to say goodbye. Your dog’s quality of life is really not good now and you’ve gone above and beyond to keep him happy. My 14 year old boy has multiple issues now too and I know I’ll have to make the call soon. Please don’t feel bad about having to make this decision and know you’re doing the right thing.

Please do the kindest thing for your dog and have her put to sleep. She’s clearly unwell and old and really, in the kindest way, you have to see that she won’t get better.

We had our lovely old girl pts and it is heartbreaking BUT this is our responsibility to our pets as their loving owners. We save them the confusion and pain of going right to the end.

The vet also said to us that too many people don’t act to intervene as they hope their pet will just “go quietly in their sleep” but the reality is that this often isn’t the case and the end when it comes is unpleasant and traumatic - for everyone.

You’ve possibly got yourself into a “boiling the frog” place too - all the changes happen so gradually that you can’t now step back and objectively see that your dog’s quality of life is nothing like it used to be and what you now experience as normality is not normal. Your comment about caring more for the dog than your baby is very telling.

As other posters say, book your dog in, give her all the best things until then and say goodbye in a calm and gentle way. Our vets were so lovely and made a difficult process the best it could be.

Had to let mine go last week due to cancer and going blind. They gave him a sedative first and he just went to sleep. Don’t let her suffer, you know it’s time

Please do plan to put him to sleep. The walking around the house whining and distressed shows his quality of life is poor.
My aunt kept a dog alive for an extra few months to allow time for uni DC to come home and say goodbye.
This was 15 years ago and she still brings it up as something she feels guilty about.
I know it hurts and you love him but just like you don't let him eat food that would make him sick even though he wanted it, now you have to try give him as peaceful and gentle an end as possible.

Have you not had this conversation with your vet yet? Sometimes they’re unwilling to initiate the conversation but once you bring it up, they’ll be very honest with you and I would find it really unlikely that they’d advise anything other than a kind and gentle end to your dog’s suffering.

I suspect that your pregnancy and the new baby has meant you’ve kept going longer than you should have done out of fear/guilt that you’d be ‘doing it for the wrong reasons’ - you may not have articulated this to yourself but I think if you hadn’t been expecting a baby you might have found it easier to come to a clear decision that this is your lovely dog’s time. The timing I’m sure feels dreadful, like you’re making the decision to choose between them.

But that’s not the case. You sound like a wonderful dog owner - you just have to make one last decision in your dog’s favour here.

In the nicest possible way, I am shocked you have not done it already. Am also surprised that your vet has not recommended it as the kindest thing to do. We have a responsibility to advocate for our pets, it is a burden but, in my view, the payback for the joy they have brought us.

I have had both of my elderly dogs PTS in the last three months. One as poorly as yours (but acutely) and the other with no quality of life due to dementia and blindness. It was tough on me but I know if was the right decision for them.

It's always hard to say goodbye to a pet you've loved. Your poor old dog hasn't really got any real quality of life now. She's got several conditions associated with old age.

She needs you to make the right decision for her now, and that is to have her put to sleep. You've looked after her fantastically well, but she won't get any better.

Ring the vet, book the appointment, and let your beloved dog go. It's the kindest thing. xx

Thank you all for your kind answers. You've reassured me that this will be the right thing to do.
In the last few months she really had better periods when she was enjoying life (especially in summer when it was warm and dry, I'd take her on slow walks and she would really be keen on sniffing around and even having a trot every now and then) that's why I kept her going, but the last couple of weeks have been nothing like before.
She's under care of really good vets and last week I had the conversation with them about her and putting her to sleep. They said the quality of dog's life is what's important, not the length, but wanted to leave the decision to me.

@Szyz2020 you're right about the 'boiling the frog'. I remember even a year ago whilst I on a walk people would still ask me if she's a puppy I guess because she looked healthy and cheerful. Now the passers by ask me how old she is and comment that she looks ancient. Now looking back at her old photos and videos I can see how much her state and behaviour have changed.

@NoSquirrels I think you've hit the nail in the head there. One of the reasons (among others) I've been feeling guilty is because I didn't want the appearance of the baby to contribute to the decision of letting the dog go. Now I try and remind myself that these two things just happen to occur at the same time that's all.

Thank you so much everyone, I'll be ringing the vets on Monday to book the appointment.

@Dahlia5

It's not going to get easier just because you wait longer. I'm coming closer to needing to make this decision for my 14.5 year old lab and I'll feel like you.
I'm sure your vet will assure you that you've made right decision next week.

@Dahlia5 -

You are doing the right thing..

You are doing the right thing for your precious dog. Ask them to give a sedative first it will help

OP

This helped me at a horrible time.

So sorry, it's heartbreaking. But you're definitely doing the right thing.