Dog growling at DC friends

[Loveatthe5anddime]

We rehomed a lovely Labrador 3 years ago, when she was two.

Family were really nice, and dog was well taken care off but just had underestimated how much walking a Lab needed, lived city centre and both worked full time.

They did however have a young autistic boy who they fostered and while it was never said there had been any issues, I now wonder if boundaries hadn’t been set when dog was a pup.

I have 3 DC and all very respectful of dogs space, when we first got her she could be a bit grumpy if you spoke to her when in her bed or in cage in boot of car and all 3 were very mindful of this and with the mutual respect learned on both side she has turned out to be the most loving and loyal dog with an amazing personality and due to us having land, outdoor life her quality of life is 100 times what it was.

This is not however the case with visitors to the house, especially children’s friends, she is obviously very threatened/jealous/scared I’m not sure of the issue tbh but she is very snarly towards them and it’s starting to be such a worry.

We don’t live in a huge house, with one DC’s bedroom downstairs and I’m really running out of options where to put here or how to handle it.

I know if she bit a child she’d most likely have to be put down and it would break my children’s heart and mine as she really isn’t a viscous dog.
I’d like to say she’d never bite but I’m not of opinion that dogs are ever to be trusted 100%

Wondering if anyone has any advice on training or even how to respond to the growling, I’ve never given her a row and always firmly removed her from the situation but that obviously isn’t working.

Am I being silly to think it will get any better?

Does she growl at them when they just come in to the room? Or is it when they try to stroke her/interact with her?

Best thing is to just keep the dog out of the way when visitors are around , so either shut it in the garden or in your bedroom with a chew to entertain it .

This is a dog that is telling you, in the clearest way possible without biting, that she doesn't want to be around visitors. You need to listen to her.

Whether that means putting her in a separate room, or having fewer visitors, you need to do something.

You can also seek help from a behaviourist - the behaviourist must be APBC or CCAB qualified.

My dog developed a great hatred of visitors after a house move - in the end we had to get a behaviourist in. After a period of training DDog now believes visitors are there to play fetch with him (the BEST thing in the world) so if anything gets a bit overexcited. Much better than the old scenario.

Our oldest ddog was always always put either utility room or outside... Not worth the risk- and managing visitors plus ddog honestly makes you say no to friends wanting to visit!! We managed her this way for 10 years.... Better to be safe than sorry.

You just need to separate her. She is clearly scared and communicating that to you. I don't think this is a jealousy issue at all.

Don't punish the growling and speak to a decent behaviourist - try here abtc.org.uk Meanwhile, I would just try to avoid any situation which makes her uncomfortable. Good luck.

Our lovely boy is the same. It came from a combination of a child screaming in his face and then lack of socialisation in the home due to lockdown.

How old are your DC? Ours are early teens so thankfully they know that the kitchen is off limits when friends are over and our dog stays happily in there. Their rooms are well stocked with drinks or snacks so it's a system that works well for us.

We also have a young niece and nephew. Our niece has autism and is very loud and unpredictable. Our dog would never cope so we now always visit them either at their home, my parents or out somewhere.

It can be tricky at times but I cant bear the thought of putting our boy in a situation that he's so scared of he ends up biting a child. It doesn't bare thinking about.

The problem I've found where children are concerned is that you need a child to be 'on board' with the training eg.to throw treats as a reward for calm behaviour but once you've lost that full trust in your dog it's very hard to get it back. I'd rather just keep him separate when friends are over.

Your dog is screaming out to you that she's uncomfortable - you must listen to her.

If you can't separate her then maybe you need to think about whether you're the right home for her. A dog that is growling and snarling at people is one step away from biting them.

She is always separated and put away if a visit is planned however visits aren’t always planned, and while youngest DD 10 is very mindful there is the odd occasion where she brings friends back for a drink or to ask me a question and she just forgets,

My oldest daughter is a teen and her friends will often just come in and middle DC sleeps downstairs and dogs bed is under the stairs and worries me friends going to the toilet in the middle of the night if sleeping over.

We obviously have managed this well to a certain extent as we have had her 3 year without an incident but it’s the stress of the what ifs that is starting to get me down!

Funnily enough she can appear quite friendly to the untrained eye, lollop over, ears up, wagging tail and (all under my supervision) and gives the perfect illusion of a friendly hello, until the child tries to say hello!

Yesterday youngest DD had friends over, dog in the garden and just smiling at them through the patio doors with a waggy tail. It makes me believe that she wants to be friends but something is making her wary at the same time.

Funnily enough she can appear quite friendly to the untrained eye, lollop over, ears up, wagging tail and (all under my supervision) and gives the perfect illusion of a friendly hello, until the child tries to say hello!

The body language you describe is not necessarily happiness, it sounds a lot like appeasement to me. She's trying her best to calm the situation with her mannerisms, but it's being ignored so she escalates. So, even though you're supervising you honestly need to stop this people from being close enough to try and greet her - she must be kept away from visitors, no matter how inconvenient that is to you.

So if her bed is under the stairs, use doors/baby gates/a crate to keep her from being able to get at anyone who is walking past in the night. If your DD forgets to close gates/doors then the dog needs to be put somewhere where she can't forget - so again, a crate, or in the utility room or separate area where DD has no need to go.

I know it sounds horribly regimented and strict but if that dog snarled and bit someone, it would your responsibility. A dog that snarls is not a happy dog.

This is a dog that is telling you, in the clearest way possible without biting, that she doesn't want to be around visitors. You need to listen to her.

Whether that means putting her in a separate room, or having fewer visitors, you need to do something.
^ Agree with this
My Lab has never growled, (apart from at a fox and chow chow but I think that’s because he’s not sure what they are) he’s very chilled. My friend had a collie and he had to shut away in the kitchen when visitors were around. Another friend had Dobermans and you had to ignore them, but it was a bit unnerving going there and having these two huge, dogs staring into your soul. I couldn’t help myself and did stroke one once and her mum wasn’t happy. In my opinion they should have been put in another room. I was a child at the time, just couldn’t help myself.

What are the children doing to the dog? Interacting or is their very presence that worries the dog? Unusual for a lab not to love humans.