Talk to me about dog owning

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

We're thinking about getting a dog but I'd like someone to give me the warts & all pitfalls so that I go into it with my eyes open. Haven't had a dog since I was a child, now in early 50's. But I've always loved dogs. WFH permanently gives me a great opportunity to get one. Am thinking small terrier type. Something which doesn't shed too much. I am a bit of a neat freak, I have to admit. Think I have a case of empty nest syndrome as daughter has just left for university. (Yes, I'm aware I'm a walking cliché).

I'd love some advice from you expert dog owners.

@DartmoorChef that's good to hear as my husband is the slightly reluctant one!

Dogs can be very hard work. All dogs will come with "issues" (or in other words be dogs with normal dog behaviour) which may be hard to live with.

Terriers might be a good choice and not too messy but they can bark a lot and also love digging which is normal dog behaviour but not what you may want. They may dig in your garden or on your sofa and best cushions!

Dogs are amazing and can add a huge amount to a family home.

Dogs can be really hard work and ruin some families.

What is your vision of owning a dog? Nice walks on sunny days with your dog trotting along beside you, whilst you stop and talk to neighbours and then back home to wfh whilst your dog sleeps for the rest of the day. You may get that you may also get:_

A dog that cannot be let off the lead because it chases everything, pulls on the lead and barks at neighbours. You get back home to wfh and your dog barks through meetings and chews your shoes.

I am giving bad scenarios but you have to question whether you are prepared to put the time and money into working with a dog regardless of what they may bring to the family.

It is literally like inviting a stranger into your house and whatever they do you have to live with or work hard to change if you do not like it.

I certainly would not rush into it as your DD has just left for uni. Give it a while you will be surprised at how quickly you love having your own time to yourself and the freedom you now have.

You may not want to lose that by getting a dog.

I would start with how much time you can spend walking and training and grooming.
Think about when it might be difficult having the dog. Holidays? Days out? I’ve been unwell. Dogs still need to be walked. I never get a lie in either.

I love our boy but it's like having a small child in your life permanently

Need to get up EVERY morning to let them out or walk them

Same EVERY night

They stick when wet

They make soft furniture and carpet stink too

They have to be considered for every outing

They are not allowed in shops museum's restaurants etc.

Vet bills are extortionate

Many potential development issues to deal with

On the plus side they love you sooooo much and walking them is nice in good weather.

If you Just want company get a few cats

I'm not sure I will get another dog again. They are too restricting

I have two cats and I'm sticking to them. They give me cuddles and company but are so easy in comparison

We got a puppy from a dog charity 2 years ago. Unfortunately I do regret it. I won’t give her up as my children absolutely love her but I don’t. She is a lovely dog in many ways but she has caused much of damage to my house. She gets a lot of attention and my DH works from home but she cannot be trusted on her own for very long. She sleeps in the kitchen and has chewed my skirting and a lovely piece of furniture very badly. She was unattended for a short period of time in the hall and ate some plaster off the wall and chewed the post at the bottom of the stairs. She has toys but prefers to chew the house. This behaviour has improved but has not completely resolved. She is also very scared of traffic sounds so will not walk alongside roads that are busy, she will try to back out of her harness to get away from them. Oh and she hates men with hats, this includes the postman.

There are some really significant things that no-one tells you before you get a dog. For example, I had to discover for myself that my dog would run after bicycles (down a main road if he deemed it necessary), Also that, because he looks cute, people will reach down and try to stroke him. He will then shock them massively by jumping up and snapping at them. I had to discover that this was his idea of protecting me (or maybe himself). He does the same at the vet's, but oddly is fine if off lead. Also that there are certain breeds of dog that he will be aggressive to (usually the big powerful ones).

Apart from those issues that I have to monitor constantly, he is loving, funny, and can be left up to 5 hours without touching anything in the house. Despite my fears, he never (yet) developed separation anxiety. I got him as a 2 year-old rescue. I think fostering first is a very good idea.

Some really useful answers and advice here - thanks again. I have a lot to think about.

I've had two dogs over the years, so not an expert at all, but from my experience of having had a poodle since puppyhood (he lived to be 16) and now having a pug puppy, our pug is infinitely(!!!) easier and has been an absolute walk in the park (excuse the pun) in comparison to our extremely intelligent, hugely energetic, but gorgeous poodle.

Our pug has never once attempted to chew any furniture and we have never crated him; he can be left alone no problem and just sleeps the whole time (I have cameras); he is very lazy in the mornings and is not an early riser at all, will happily snooze until 11am or even midday; he is extremely child/stranger-friendly; he loves nothing more than to cuddle up on top of you; he was very easy to potty train and is generally always eager to please (and to get treats) so is very trainable; he just sleeps on car rides and we have taken him on very long car-holidays; he id happy to walk for hours or 15 minutes depending on the weather/your time; he has great recall even though he's a teenager and he is the most loyal, loving companion anyone could ever wish for. It may just be complete luck, but I would think carefully about the breed you get and not necessarily go for the popular spaniel/poodle/labrador breeds, as they can be much harder work as puppies. I know you said you were thinking of terriers, but only some terriers are easy-ish dogs, others can be really hard work.

Our dog is an absolute dream! Never destroyed anything in our house. Does what he is told, very well mannered with other dogs, can be left alone etc.

But

We went to puppy classes for 18 months, which was a massive commitment every week.
We have NO spontaneity.
We have to walk in absolutely all weather. No matter how atrocious it is or how we are feeling.
They are expensive, even more so if you go away regularly and need kennels/sitters
They can be disgusting 🤢

However they are a massive source of love and affection. They definitely fill a home and he has helped me massively refill the empty nest. However we've always had dogs. I would find your feet first and then if you still want a dog once you've adjusted to your empty nest then go for it.

Ours was for my empty nest husband. She’s filled that gap for him.

I've got a rescue dog from Cyprus and am on the lookout for another one. My first was a year old when she arrived and she does have issues mainly being scared of men she doesn't know, and having a collar put on. She is the soppiest, cuddliest little ball of love and my life is amazing for having her in it. Getting a dog from abroad is easier than you may think and they don't mind if you work, they will discuss it all with you and as long as you've thought about how you'll help it settle in and training etc they'll normally be quite happy.

Worth considering - you may be able to foster first like pp said

I got my first dog in February (he's now 10 months old) and I absolutely adore him. I can honestly say that getting him has been one of the best things I've ever done; he makes me feel so happy! DH wasn't keen on the idea (but now loves him) and DS was indifferent (but now absolutely worships him!) and he's brought a new positive dynamic to the whole family unit.

It has been loads of work (and will continue to be so) but I enjoy spending the time with him, doing training, walks and playing so it doesn't feel like a burden.

He sleeps really well, house training was quick and he's never chewed anything that he wasn't allowed to. He doesn't have to be crated and can be left on his own in the kitchen while we go out for a couple of hours.

But ... I can't stress enough that these things didn't just happen; there was a lot of management/vigilance on my part in the first three months. There are also still loads of areas that continue to be a work in progress like loose lead walking, recall, not barking at squirrels in the garden and not running out of the front door as soon as it opens!

I know that I have had a much smoother puppy journey than many, and I know that I am fortunate to have plenty of time, energy and resources to put into this. If I had a demanding job, small children or financial worries then I would find it all much more of a juggle.

My experience of having a dog - it never occurs to me I can't be spontaneous. My dog is just one of the family who we consider in everything. I never feel like I am tied (no comparison to how a child ties you). If we go to the pub, she either comes or we leave her at home. If we go for a day out she comes. If we visit a friend she comes. If we go shopping she stays at home. That said, she has no issues, she can be left on her own and is ultra well behaved anywhere we take her. Most things we like doing are dog friendly and we live in a very dog friendly part of the UK. BUT we spent time training her to be that way. It is not all bad! Just make sure you do the training is my advice and think of a less troublesome breed maybe.

Thanks again for the replies. It's not helping that I'm away on holiday and where I am, everyone has dogs! (Staying in a very 'locals' town in Spain.)

Those of you who say your dogs can be left, how long are we talking about? Couple of hours?

We are lucky as our boy will be left about 6 hours. But there are people whose dogs can't be left for more than a few

We have a very laid back boy but some friends dogs do have separation issues. I think that can be down to luck or not leaving them enough at a young age.

My dog can only be left an hour or two at most before he starts crying and howling. It's very restrictive and of course you don't know what your dog will be like until you get it home and it starts growing up.

Ours will happily sleep away the morning but is a bit more active in the afternoon/evening. So she doesn’t mind a good 4/5 hours in the morning but less in the afternoon/evening. That said, she doesn’t bark or destroy things; it’s just my feeling.

We have a dog who is now 16 months old and i regret every second of it... My DH and kids love him but honestly i just feel trapped by him! Hes never ripped anything up, chewed anything (I know pretty much a model dog!) but my days he cant be left alone or he shits everywhere... digs up the garden, has zero recall (trust me not through lack of trying!) the long walks i envisioned are just walks with a dog that im sure finds it hilarious to try and pull me a long like a steam train!

Gone are the days of just nipping here there and everywhere!

i honestly feel like I've made the biggest mistake of my life and i literally just about tolerate him! Cant get rid of him either as my DH and kids adore him!

I literally am just wishing my life away with him at the moment!

Aw no @Bunglemom , that's what I worry about - regretting it. Will deliberate some more.

You have to really love dogs to tolerate all the crap that goes along with having one. I personally wouldn't want the mess, damage or restriction, but millions of people fully accept all that, and the responsibilities of dog ownership.
I guess the problem is you don't really know if you will love dog ownership until you do have a dog! I much prefer cats but everyone is different

Our last dog was more than 20 years ago (children came along and I had no spare time for a dog) and I’ve found the modern attitude to “responsible” dog ownership involves a lot more commitment.

Micro chipping and vaccines are a must. My dog needs a rabies vaccination in order to get a passport to travel 50km away to another EU country.
Dog restraints and crates are the only way to legally transport them.
Obedience classes? Never thought I’d need them and still don’t.
Feeding your dog leftovers is tantamount to animal abuse whereas my first dog ate mostly food scraps and a bit of Pedigree Chum. Now it’s all nutritionally balanced according to age, breed, weight etc.
And taking a dense-coated dog out in the rain without a waterproof jacket? Call the police!

I’m not saying all this progress is bad, it’s just that dogs are given more human status now. It was a culture shock.
Also, dog training and daily walks etc have mostly fallen to me. It’s like having a small child again. And a clingy one at that…

But he’s a real character and has brought us a lot of joy in the last four months. He’s chilled out most of the time, clean in the house from 4 months and dry from 5. Not destructive or yappy and very sociable.

If you’re houseproud, keep him/her in a tiled room most of the time, only in the house for half an hour at a time in case of accidents. And look for a dog that doesn’t shed (well stripped a Schnauzer neither sheds nor smells) a good selling point for Ralph!

He's gorgeous @Sgtmajormummy. Good advice - thanks.

On the other hand we've had various gundog breeds over the years and none of the stories above are familiar. Our dogs were all house trained fast, attended training young and are happy to stay home for 4/5 hours without problem. They aren't chewers, don't poop in the house and don't terrorise neighbours.

If we need to go out for longer we get a dog walker in. We have a proper one and a student who fills in. We are outdoorsy people and take our current one out to dog friendly restaurants and bars and on holiday etc.

Our dogs have always fitted in to our lives. Yes they are a bit of a tie but if you put all the effort in at a young age you can reap the benefits. My mother got her first dog when my sister left home because of empty nest syndrome. It worked out very well.

You do need to pick the breed, breeder and bloodlines carefully if you choose a puppy and spend plenty of time with the dog in different situations if he is a rescue.

I'd also say that while smaller dogs are cheaper to keep and more portable, often larger breeds are less firey and more tolerant.

So this is our lifestyle. Go out maybe once a month for a full evening. Other times we pop to the pub for a couple. Pub is dog friendly. Both WFH. Go on holiday a couple of times a year. The holiday impact is the worry for me.