Tell me it gets better

[Itstheweekendyasssss]

She is 5 months. She is beautiful and I love her wee face and eyes. She stinks and is hairy, and needs walked: none of that bothers me. I love walking her and trying to train her and what she brings out in my kids, but I think overall I feel trapped and depressed having a dog and no-one listens because it was obviously our choice, as it is anyone’s. I feel thrown back into toddler parenting: she needs constant supervision and cannot get a thing done in the house. I like being at work more than being at home and it is because I can’t bear being at home, thinking of all the stuff I need to do but can’t cos have to watch the pup. Cooking tea is so hard, she tries to get up onto worktops the whole time. I swear all the time in front of my kids. I just want to be able to lead the life I had before: do yoga at home, play some piano at home, nothing too exotic, just some relaxation stuff not tv. When do they stop needing constantly watched and stop messing around with anything you are trying to get on with, life or housework wise? I am not talking pristine house here. All I want is to be able to clean the bathrooms once a fortnight even!!! How do people do it?I thought a dog would just lie and chill mostly, if the owner walked it and patted it, or was that naive? Even if it does not get easier can someone please post and tell me it does. Or you get used to it or something…

It gets better, but did you honestly expect them to just lie around as puppies?
Is she crate trained? And are the rest of your household pulling their weight with doing everything?
You'll never have your 'before dog' life back, but you should be able to pop her in her crate with a chew while you are cleaning

Thanks- no I did not think that but just wanted to know if the day will come. When I wrote my post I almost did not post because I realised by the end it is a matter of sharing out the supervision and that it will get better cos she is still so young. Just having a bad day I think!

I know this feeling. It is very overwhelming. We are at 8 months now. The worry and responsibility is quite overwhelming. She is calming down a bit, but it’s still pretty full on. She has a good sleep in the afternoon for a few hours. We tell the kids to be quiet as she is asleep in her crate and we all enjoy the peace. It’s like having a baby again.

I do wish people were more honest about what life with a dog is like. People around us have all had puppies shortly before us and the impression I got from them about what it is like, is quite different from the reality.

If pup constantly tries to get up on the work surface while you cook, you shut pup out of the kitchen/ put in crate. Firm behaviour is not cruel, it’s sets expectations, boundaries and allows for a long and fulfilling life together on both sides!

Our dog is 8 months old now and definitely much(!) calmer. During the day he just sleeps all day for the most part. He gets a bit hyper in the evening but only for an hour or so

It does get better. Our Lab is one now and is happily snoozing after a long, muddy walk. He won't bother anyone today, although might pinch a dropped chip, or nick someone's place on the sofa.

He's still a horror in the mornings if he doesn't have a good walk. This morning my son forgot to lock the utility room and he stole a box of ribbons. Oh, the colourful mess!

Long walks really help, as does managing their environment (easier said than done in a bust house). Our's now also does agility which has been great for his listening to us and for brain work tasks.

It does get better but my pre dog life is very much in the past.

They are a tie unless you don't care about leaving them for hours on end or have lots of family that don't mind dog sitting.

But they settle down and the joy of having a dog who just loves being with you makes up for it all.

You will get there, you'll be able to do all those things and your dog will just be mooching about or snoozing in their bed. Our boy is 2 now and he really started to chill from about 14 months old and he was an absolute nightmare of a puppy. I felt exactly as you did. I used to dread coming home from.work! It'll all be worth it in the end though.

Thank you for these replies! They have reassured me that the chaos won’t be forever. She is a very active type and the big walks once she is old enough will surely help too.

Mine calmed down enough at six months for me to be able to leave him while I showered or went to another room to do housework. There was definitely a big change at that point, though he still needed to be checked in on/supervised occasionally up until the age of two.

However, he's now almost four and he still has his moments of being an attention seeking arse they are a bit like naughty toddlers!

I do wish people were more honest about what life with a dog is like. People around us have all had puppies shortly before us and the impression I got from them about what it is like, is quite different from the reality.

See - I think that people are honest about it. All you need to do is join any dog group on social media or read the dog forums on here to see that.

But prospective dog owners' are blind to it, imo. The cuteness of the puppy seems to totally override any logical thinking, lol.

I've read so, SO many threads on here where people ask about the reality of owning a puppy and dog owners' come along and say "It's bloody TOUGH" and the OP will say "oh it's fine - I know I can walk in the rain/manage a dog and two toddlers/look after the dog and work full time" etc.

People just don't like to hear it. I was the same when I got mine. I read all the shit stuff but somehow convinced myself that my reality would be different

Itstheweekendyasssss ours is an active breed too-a cocker crossed with a terrier. He has 20 mins around the streets in the morning, 50 mins mid day somewhere sniffy (forest, park, canal) and another 20 mins before bed. Sometimes he just doesn't want to walk though and some days we don't manage the mid day walk and he's still nice and chilled at home. If we're chilling then he's chilling, if we're pottering about then he is too. It does come with age.

I hear you op. I have a four month Border Terrier and he's full on! He's into everything. I turn my back for two seconds and he's racing round the house with something he's found. I put something down without thinking and next minute he's chewing it somewhere. If he's not doing that he's diving all over the furniture. He's wrecked so many of my clothes by his nipping as well. Sometimes he sleeps 😂. Dh and I kind of work in shifts to look after him I.e if I need to do jobs upstairs he stays downstairs with him and vice versa. Failing that he goes in his crate quite happily. He's bloody great at night though.

I had a dog for fifteen years before we got him and he was so chilled and I don't remember it being this hard, different breed though, i was fully expecting a terrier to be more challenging!

9 month old lab owner here. Pup is very much my husband's but I committed to giving my very best and do more than my fair share. Did lots of research still didn't anticipate how much it would affect pretty much every decision we now make. Have had extreme puppy blues and lots and lots of lovely puppy joy moments - it has DEFINITELY got more routine, calmer and the moments of joy and laughing far outweigh the stress and he's deep into adolescence so there is still a lot of dickhead behaviour going on (with lots more to come I'm sure) but we've found a rhythm. Routine, consistency, everyone pulling their weight and, as I read on here, lots of reminding yourself you're training the puppy you want today for the dog you want tomorrow.

This has all made me feel a lot better, I did not expect to find the toddler element of it all so stressful! But I am heartened to read that things will settle at some point so thank you all for coming back to me 😀

Our cocker is 11 months & on restricted exercise & highdose steroids due to IMPA so I have a bored hungry thief!

Things that help;
Babygates (we actually have a playpen opened out as a room divider). He has somewhere to hang out with a toy / puzzle feeder / chew while we cook, clean etc. We've not cracked the crate (still!) but he's happy in this larger space & can't get up to (too much) mischief.
Food in a puzzle feeder rather than a bowl - takes longer to eat & exercises his brain.
Naps! An overtired pup is a pain.
Read up on trigger stacking - too many events (good or bad) which can overwhelm them.
Lots of chews for teething, & patience - AwkwardPup completely lost his perfect recall during his second lot of teething!
Remember that training is what you do throughout the day, not just a concentrated session of sit, down etc. I tried to focus on one new behaviour each week, & then build it in to the day-to-day. Little things like sitting when I'm loading or uploading the dishwasher, or when I open a kitchen cupboard, make life much easier now (giving him a good behaviour such as sitting is easier than trying to teach him to stop sticking his face in everything).

I found it got much better about 6 months….she’s 2 now, can be left, sleeps a lot of the day.

Ha! I live with two ten year old Labradors, they follow me around all day long. A 'bit' more chilled then they used to be.

One I've had since it was 8 weeks old.

I will categorically never have another puppy. It was relentless. No thank you.

They rule me.

It will get easier. We've got to the point that I can leave her (10months old) in the living room alone after a long walk and breakfast - she's tired and snoozy so I can usually hop in the shower, do a bit of a housework and relax while she naps. If I'm cleaning the floor though I have to put her in her crate - she loves chasing the Hoover around and then she ends up slipping all over the freshly mopped floor, so it's quicker and safer for her to spend 20 minutes in the crate while I do that. You do have to think about things carefully and how to keep the dog safe and out of trouble but it can be done. And be firm pushing her down off the kitchen sides, if you're consistent with this then she will get the point eventually.
I'd also recommend this toy we bought her from Amazon - a soft log toy with 6 squeaky squirrels in for her to try and remove. Keeps her entertained for ages and once she's got the squirrels out she ends up playing with them for ages too, so gives me time to do something else.

Yes we used a lot of brain games which tired her out. 5 minutes training, sit and stay and wait calmed and knackered her. Treats wrapped in old towel, hidden in egg boxes, in a box of newspaper or kitchen roll inner. Or a combination of the lot. Snuffle mats. Frozen treats and kongs or frozen meat in water in a yoghurt pot.

Train to go to her bed while you are doing things in the kitchen. Ours thought that joining us on the table while eating was the done thing. One of us would throw treats on bed while the other one ate. Took about a week but she got the message,

We have a border collie, so I feel you. I remember going to bed by 9 pm just to get a bit of peace. I taught my boy to sit and wait at kitchen door and only come in, once invited. He then started just laying watching me cook. He’s 3 years old now, still very much hard work, gets 3 long walks/exercise each day, still follows me around, but will lay watching.

Hi, I am also in the thick of it with a 4 month old cockerpoo. It’s relentless and I’m broken. We get about 20 mins in a crate at a time but only if she’s sleepy. We haven’t left her alone yet. The thing I’m struggling with the most atm is the poor kids - there are 3 of them and they like to be where I am, which is fine, but they can’t have any toys out downstairs because of the puppy. They hang around me all day telling me they’re bored, and their bedrooms are full of toys. I miss sitting on the floor and playing with them. They are 10,7 and 4. Brilliant with the dog but I can’t leave her alone and I miss them 😞
When will I be able to have toys back in my living space?! Ever?

@3AndADog

Hi, I am also in the thick of it with a 4 month old cockerpoo. It’s relentless and I’m broken. We get about 20 mins in a crate at a time but only if she’s sleepy. We haven’t left her alone yet. The thing I’m struggling with the most atm is the poor kids - there are 3 of them and they like to be where I am, which is fine, but they can’t have any toys out downstairs because of the puppy. They hang around me all day telling me they’re bored, and their bedrooms are full of toys. I miss sitting on the floor and playing with them. They are 10,7 and 4. Brilliant with the dog but I can’t leave her alone and I miss them 😞 When will I be able to have toys back in my living space?! Ever?

You really can start to leave her alone and it really should be done to make her happy with her own company.

Give her a walk and then pop her into her crate with a chew for a rest. Pop the radio on so some background noise. Radio 4 or talking station is better than high energy station. Initially stay around her but then over a few days build it up to being out of the room.

She really does need lots of sleep and undisturbed sleep whilst you are interacting with your DC is good for everyone.

I sympathise, but it DOES get much better with age. Our cockapoo is now 4.5 and has a long walk morning and afternoon. But apart from that he just "potters" around. DH now works from home and often the dog curls up under the study desk for a couple of hours. He likes his nap (the dog, not DH). We make sure that he has a major play around the house before bed (ball throwing, tug of war sort of thing) and then he's settled all night in his crate.

I remember the overwhelming sense of loss of freedom and responsibility when we got him as a puppy. In honesty I hated it and thought we'd made a huge mistake as it was so relentless. But it does get better; for us it was at about 12 months old. I am SOOOO glad we have him now. He's nuts, but that's perfect!

Thank you all - I expected less sympathy to be honest! Glad I am not the only one who has felt despondent. And also glad it sounds like it does change at some pt!