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The doghouse

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Original poster

Scared parents - scared kids

59 replies

Doggiedilemma2021 · 29/09/2021 09:36

When walking our dog on the school run there are a large number of parents who seem very afraid of our dog who is on a lead and well behaved and go out of their way to avoid him going near them or their kids which at times includes walking in the road ! I reassure them as much as I am able but it is clear that these parents are teaching their kids to be scared too. I was shouted at this morning for walking my dog on the same pavement as one of these people. Any advice ?

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 29/09/2021 09:43

There’s really nothing you can do if your dog is really a well behaved dog doing nothing wrong. I’ve had reactions like that too occasionally when out with my two dogs (labs). It’s often a cultural thing in some areas around here. Sometimes I get the dogs to sit and tell the people they’re friendly and they can come to say hello if they want. Occasionally they do come a little nearer. Sometimes I just want to say there’s nothing wrong with the dogs, you’re being very silly/pathetic!

PollyRoullson · 29/09/2021 09:55

I think people are sensible to be vary - there are a lot of very stupid owners and poorly trained dogs out there!

I keep my distance from dogs I do not know as I dont want them to jump up at me or interact with them, I dont want to say hello to every dog I see I just want to walk past.

Give the people space the same way we should do to other dogs and we can all get by together.

Chaoplexatologist · 29/09/2021 10:03

Sometimes I get the dogs to sit and tell the people they’re friendly 😂😅

KurtWilde · 29/09/2021 10:15

I've had this issue too, and according to MN people hate it when you say 'don't worry they're friendly!' I've considered saying 'stay back they're maneaters!' but I don't think that would go down too well either. You really can't win! My dogs aren't reactive, they walk well and are always on a lead. People are ridiculous.

I was asked once to take my dogs back inside when they were pottering round MY (4ft) fenced garden, because a couple didn't want to walk past them. I asked them why and they said 'because we don't like dogs.' My response was 'then don't buy one.' which was apparently very rude. Needless to say my dogs stayed put.

We do all have to live together on this rock, and it works both ways.

0ntheg0again · 29/09/2021 10:23

This really annoys me actually, yes I do keep away from unknown kids as my dog is not used to small running screaming kids (I have two myself but older) but if I am quite far away and the kid is freaking out about a dog in a park, meters and meters away from the kid, what am I suppose to do?

GingerAndTheBiscuits · 29/09/2021 10:29

I tend to move off the path as our dog is over friendly and anyone making eye contact she assumes wants to fuss her to death. So I keep her on a short lead and usually move out into the road if it’s crowded on the pavement and the road is clear. I get that people are wary especially as there do seem to be many more dogs around these days

TerrierOrTerror · 29/09/2021 10:58

It's a tough one - I would sooner then avoid than allow their child to run up to my dog screaming hello (happened four times since getting my dog and I am REALLY fed up of it). But equally I do think it encourages children to be fearful and whilst stepping aside quietly is fine, children obviously vocalise their fears more and that can get a dogs attention very quickly.

My preference is to have some space from any passerby, so if it's a narrow footpath or it's enclosed (e.g.path between wall and parked cars) I'll choose to wait. I don't want my dog to feel trapped in a small space and nor do I want anyone else to feel trapped. I will also wait or move out of the way if I child is on a scooter as I find they often come too close and that can excite my dog - though I did get shouted at for moving out of the way of a child+scooter last week and told I shouldn't walk my dog at that time if she doesn't like children.

I have a dog similar to be previous posted who will ignore passers by but as soon as they make eye contact or talk to her they become her favourite person in the world and must be greeted enthusiastically. We're working on it but right now giving us space is key, whether that comes from me moving out of the way or passers by (I always assume it will be me moving - but often others move first)

Happenchance · 29/09/2021 11:18

I'm not fearful of dogs but I avoid passing them head on if possible because some dogs find that threatening, especially when they're on a lead. I also give dogs a wide berth if I'm passing them from behind, in case I take them by surprise and because I can't see the dog's facial expressions so don't have a full picture of it's body language.

I think it's better that parents teach their children to avoid dogs rather than encourage them to interact with them. So many dog owners don't bother to learn the intricacies of their dog's body language and claim that their dog is "friendly" when it is actually asking for space (I'm not saying that that's you OP).

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2021 11:34

I keep my dog away from most people because although he is very chilled and friendly I know not everyone likes dogs
However, it does annoy me when parents fling their children behind them to protect you from my ravening beast who is 20 feet away. I have also heard parents reply “no, it might bite you” when their child asks if they can come and meet my dog.
No child should approach any dog without checking with the owner of course but some parents are a bit over the top

Honeyroar · 29/09/2021 11:43

@Chaoplexatologist

Sometimes I get the dogs to sit and tell the people they’re friendly 😂😅
???
1mx1mChocolateBrownie · 29/09/2021 12:14

I get a bit annoyed with dog owner insisting their dog is friendly/ well behaved to my terrified child.

Fwiw I'm a big dog fan. Not scared. My child isn't due to an adverse experience

Wnikat · 29/09/2021 12:17

When your kids been knocked over / growled at / otherwise terrified by a dog a few times it is rational to avoid all dogs.

DocAutumn · 29/09/2021 12:20

I just have a bit of sympathy like I would if someone was scared of spiders or clowns. I wouldn't insist on parading a spider or a clown up and down ifnfront of them even though I know there is nothing to be afraid of. So if I notice someone is scared of dogs I keep mine close to me and give them space.

Honeyroar · 29/09/2021 12:23

It is, but shouting at people to get off the pavement isn’t!

When I make my dogs sit and tell them they’re friendly I’m not expecting anyone to come over, just trying to make it easier for those that are worried. Quite a few do come over and their kids have a look and sometimes get braver. I also do it with my horse if a dog is barking - stop the horse, let the dog see it isn’t bothered. Sometimes the dog stops barking and comes over to the horse. In some cases it might help for next time (both with dog/horse and children/dog situation)

Goldbar · 29/09/2021 13:00

You do your thing, let them do their thing. Why does it bother you that they don't want their DC near your dog? It's ok to dislike or be scared of dogs.

The shouting was out of order. But if people just prefer to avoid you and your dog (and keep their children out of the way), I can't see a problem with that. If your dog is under proper control, it shouldn't be an issue to keep it from running up to people who would prefer not to be accosted by it.

Hboo31 · 29/09/2021 13:05

@Honeyroar the sentence suggested that you get the dogs to tell people that they're friendly. I assume that's what @Chaoplexatologist was laughing at

Theunamedcat · 29/09/2021 13:05

Does it matter? They are avoiding you probably due to a bad experience its nothing personal not everyone has to like dogs

RestingPandaFace · 29/09/2021 13:06

Scared child isn’t always because of scared parents. I love dogs, used to have two myself, but my DS has had two bad experiences in the park with idiot dog ow ers and is now terrified.

Honeyroar · 29/09/2021 13:07

[quote Hboo31]**@Honeyroar* the sentence suggested that you get the dogs to tell people that they're friendly. I assume that's what @Chaoplexatologist* was laughing at[/quote]
Oh I see!

SoftSheen · 29/09/2021 13:14

Perhaps this is related to your dog's breed?

I like dogs, but am generally wary of big guarding breeds which don't appear to be under good control, even though they may be friendly.

An exuberant lab can still quite easily knock over/scare a small child, even though it may be 'friendly'.

Ylvamoon · 29/09/2021 13:41

I would just ignore, it's a public space and as long as your dog is well behaved you have every right to be there!

Just to help you out:
There was a little boy at DD nursery that was petrified of dogs - according to his mum. She was pretty nasty to people who brought their dog to pick up/ drop off.
The little boy always seemed indifferent to the dogs.
(Very rural and good access to fields, so quite a few dogs that waited patiently by the gate...)
I am obviously a dog owner and she said something on several occasions... anyway the nursery did a topic about pets and I offered to bring my dog into nursery for the children to pet/ see. (She had certificate from Pets as Therapy, so used to all kinds of places!!)
The little boy was the first to come over to pet my dog. He absolutely loved being close to her and interacting with het. Not scared at all.

Fast forward a few years and said parent had a big bouncy puppy (think German shepherd), that she took on the school run.
I know, that she was asked by the school not to bring the dog along, as it scared some of the children with the lunging and barking outside the school gate.

Karma at its finest!

Doveyouknow · 29/09/2021 14:14

I am not scared of dogs but my ds is, so if I see one coming towards us I will make sure he doesn't go right past it. Otherwise he will freeze or try to hide behind me and that is not helpful for anyone on a crowded pavement. I am also trying to save the owners feelings as I am aware some owners are quite sensitive about my Ds not liking their dogs but this post makes me think I might not be helping. In woods I do try and keep my distance from dogs as they are normally muddy and wet and so I want to avoid them jumping up at me and getting me muddy. I am aware dog owners find this unreasonable.

icedcoffees · 29/09/2021 15:21

I don't see anything wrong with a parent moving their child away from your dog. You know your dog is friendly but they don't know that. You also don't know whether they (or their children) have allergies etc.

I have a dog and I'm a professional dog-walker and there are far worse things a parent could do than avoid my dog(s), lol. If someone doesn't like dogs (or just doesn't want to risk being jumped at) then it's very sensible for them to just give you a wide berth. It's really not personal.

I also don't necessarily think the school run is the best place for a dog, to be honest. Lots of children don't like dogs, and the ones that do can be unpredictable and over-excitable.

Hoppinggreen · 29/09/2021 15:33

There’s moving them away from your dog and then there’s dramatically clutching your child when the nearest dog is more than 10 feet away sitting quietly on its lead while declaring that it will bite them (or is dirty in one case - he often is, but still)

Original poster
Doggiedilemma2021 · 29/09/2021 15:41

Really interesting points - thank you
And it has helped me understand the other point of view
I think the issue I have is the learned fear imparted from parent to child - and its not my concern really I suppose

OP posts: