My dog seems to have gone off me

[SunshineCake1]

My dog is five and we are very close. She's definitely mine. Three weeks ago I spent a week in hospital and then got the best welcome when I got home. I've spent the 17 days since in bed apart from half an hour downstairs last week. She's not choosing to come upstairs. If dh or ds can persuade her to come up she looks at me then leaves 9/10 and if she does get on the bed she doesn't stay long. She will stay a bit if dh is there too.

It's looking like it's going to be a while before I am up never mind getting out with her for walks. Any advice?

If I have a long day at work ddog won't speak to me!! Gone a week? Wow are you going to be punished!!

In the nicest possible way... you’re not very interesting just now and she’ll want to be where there’s more chance of things happening.

Last year I was in bed for a fortnight and she spent most of the day on the bed with me. That time I was only away nine hours.

To be perfectly honest, it sounds like you're very boring right now - not currently a source of food, play or walkies. The hound is going where the fun is!

Might you be able to do some playing with the dog from your room? Tug or fetch if you can manage that, or some interactive bits of training - it can be rehashing stuff the dog already knows for treats, or even teaching some new ones (eg a nose touch to the palm of your hand)

Could you smell different?

Smells from the hospital or medication your on? Smells won't be detectable to you but your dog will notice them.

Are you on medication?

Oh she runs fast up the stairs if she hears a crisp bag. She'll stay then. I have showered plenty so hopefully don't still smell of hospital. I am on a new medication but only a small one once a day. I have some new toys but will be upset if I give her one and she either doesn't want to play or leaves with it as soon as she can. I could be in bed for weeks yet . Once I was crying as my friends dog had died and she was licking the tears from me face. Now she doesn't even want to cuddle even though she knows what the word means and never would refuse one .

I think dogs can tell our emotions but I also think they know/understand when we're upset with them and react accordingly.

If she feels as though you're upset with her, she may just be trying to avoid that feeling and staying away.

I'm only upset because she won't stay. She's currently here though. I give her lots of strokes when he lets me. I managed to go downstairs for a bit and she was very excited and we played with her toy. I've been telling her I love her and been normal with her. She might be only on the bed with me as dh has nipped out but I'll take what I can get!

I would think it’s that she’s unsettled by the change: in routine of you being away, of you being back but in bed all the time, in your smell after being away/being ill/being on a new medication, and in your behaviour as you’re upset by her avoiding you so are treating her slightly differently.

If she’s food oriented, can you do some clicker training/ brain games/ give her high value things like chews to get her to associate good things with being in the room with you?

Also, try not to take it personally; her behaviour is reflecting that she’s unsettled by the changes - it’s not that she doesn’t love you, she’s just worried and picking up subtle changes in your body language.

Get well soon.

My dog is stimulated by movement and novelty. When we are out, he's always very interested in other, especially new people/dogs to the point I wonder if he's bored with me. But he always follows me home...

She slept on the bed with me for quite a while tonight. I'll try not to take it personally and stop being so needy. Probably scaring her off.