New puppy - are we doing ok?

[3AndADog]

Hi,
I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed this morning having had our gorgeous pup for a little over a week. She’s 12.5 weeks. We have got her sleeping in her crate quite willingly at night from about 11-6am with a really annoying poo break at 12.30ish and sometimes another wee at 3.30ish. We are sleeping on the floor in the lounge and taking her out when she whimpers with minimal fuss and all quiet etc. We are shattered. How do we move forward from here? One night I tried sneaking back to bed in between wake ups and she barked and woke the whole house up because I didn’t hear her in time.
Also we have had the back door open constantly so we’re lulled into a false sense of security re toileting but we now know she’ll poo or wee anywhere if the door is shut with no warning whatsoever! And she won’t go out in the rain if we try to take her out for a preemptive wee.
And oh my word the hyper bitey moments have really upset my kids on occasion. I have taught them to ignore/stand like a tree then treat when she calms down but they haven’t quite got the hang of that yet. I feel a bit overwhelmed with the amount of things we need to be training her - she can sit and that’s about it. She responds well to her name if it’s me but no one else. I have been playing crate games with her and she’s quite good. Feel daunted about starting lead training, recall, all the rest when we just aren’t getting any sleep.
Just looking for reassurance really that we’re doing ok and what I should think about next.
We are booked in for one to one training but not til the end of the month.
Thanks in advance

Hello. Congratulations on your new puppy.

I just wanted to say that everything you are describing is completely normal - the night wake ups and the crazy biting or 'mouthing'. When I got my puppy I felt exactly the same as you and I was worried it wouldn't get better and my pup would be like this forever. It was quite overwhelming and I was exhausted too.

My pup is now a chilled out little guy - he is almost 1. No biting and he is super lazy and sleeps all through the night. He also got toileting at about 4 months. You just need to persevere you sound like you are doing a good job.

Good luck!

All sounds like you are doing really well.
It all seems never ending and intense but things will move on and you'll get there! Our 1 year old dog still sleeps in the crate but upstairs- we did downstairs for months but he kept barking at night- turns out he settles better with the sounds of us being around and we all sleep so much better. Wish I'd done it from the start!

Just feel so overwhelmed today. I can’t leave her yet as I just know I’d come back to wee puddles and she doesn’t like her crate in the day. I know people always say not to get a puppy if you work FT (I don’t) but how do people go to the supermarket? Have a shower? I was prepared for a lot but I suppose I thought I’d be able to leave the room once in a while.

I remember that stage! My first was a Velcro pup and couldn’t ever be left. It was exhausting. And stressful.
Are you on FB? Look at dog training advice advice and support. They have brilliant files.

I have looked at that page but tbh that is where my overwhelm started. I just felt there was too much to read and do, and a lot of it made me feel like I’ll never be able to leave my dog

Just do what you can today. To start off that was very little for me. Someone had to watch the pup while I showered. She couldn’t be left while I did the school run.
We started with the flitting. So I moved rooms. She followed me and eventually got bored and crashed out.
It DOES get easier. I promise.

Are you restricting her area? It's easier to toilet train if they are confined to one room of the house, preferably with a hard floor.

We usually use a puppy pen too, with the crate inside it, so they get more space than just the crate if we are busy, but not the run of a room when there's noone to keep an eye on them. That works well for getting showers, nipping to the shop etc.

What breed are they? I'm guessing a chi from them having come to you at 11 weeks, in which case they are a nightmare to toilet train and get sleeping on their own from my friends experience (she's on her 7th).
With sleeping, do they have to sleep in a crate? You might get more sleep if you take the crate into your bedroom for now and then once they are confidently and consistently sleeping in the crate you can transition it slowly out.
Toileting - you can't just leave the back door open I'm afraid. You need to take them out every 15 minutes when they are awake, as soon as they wake up, and after they eat and stand with them on a lead, under an umbrella if necessary till they wee/poo. Then praise massively.
In the day, you might want to get a playpen and then as Wolfie says, flit in and out of the room. Start with them in there and you stood in the same room ironing, then pop out for 10s, back in and ironing again (no fuss, no comments), then do it again 5 min later, then 30s and so on building it up really slowly. Sometimes I take a puppy into the bathroom with me if all else fails!
With the rest of training (apart from training the children), just focus on walking on a lead and recall for now. Everything else apart from sit/stay is optional and can be taught at your leisure, so ignore it until the basics are sorted.
Puppies are bitey horrible gits, so goodness knows why I am about to get foster puppies 55, 56 and possibly 57 next week....

She’s a cockerpoo. The breeder keeps them til 10 weeks so they are fully vaccinated.

I don’t want to take her out every 15mins as I know she can hold for at least a couple of hours. Surely taking out every 15mins is pointless as I know she won’t go?

Yes she’s confined to the kitche/diner (as am I!) which has hard floor but it’s wood and any standing puddle needs to be cleaned immediately or we’ll end up with black in all the joins and it’s a beautiful floor! (I know that’s my problem not the pups!)

I have been flitting since day one tbh, and she seems ok but I don’t think she would be if I didn’t come back. She’s never really alone as my mum is always here helping if I can’t be. It just feels relentless and I did expect this, I’m just having a down day. I am also pretty bored as she does sleep a lot of the day and I’m just sitting around feeling grumpy and lethargic watching her!

How do we make the move out of the lounge at night?

I don’t want to take her out every 15mins as I know she can hold for at least a couple of hours. Surely taking out every 15mins is pointless as I know she won’t go?

The idea of taking them out more frequently than necessary is that it avoids accidents. You're more likely to get them to go in the garden if they're out there 4x an hour as opposed to if they're out there once every two hours.

It is all a bit overwhelming for the first few months, my puppy (like most) would bark /whine even if I was in a different room at the beginning but at some point I could leave him on his own, and he was fine. Don't expect too much too soon, maybe?! The biting can be relentless until their teeth fall out, and then it can slack off a lot. Mine is 9 months now and I can leave him for 3/4 hours and he just snoozes, he is completely fine. I didn't do the flitting thing, just left him and looked on a camera and he was fine..but I don't confine him to a crate, he has a few rooms and a hallway to wander around in. They are all really different ( to state the obvious) and mine never went to the loo in the night from 8 weeks (still has a bladder of steel) but weed inside during the day (I took him out every 15/30 mins) until around 4 months and then he just got it. Now he's pretty easy in all ways, doesn't mouth very much etc, but it takes time..I still have days where I think - what have we done?! But that is mostly to do with the fact that they are a real tie, and reduce spontaneous decisions. But the behaviour isn't a big issue anymore and we love him a lot.

Thanks for the replies… I don’t feel like we have made a mistake, I’m just doubting myself and wondering g if we’re doing it right - eg the sleeping downstairs at night thing, so many people either say cry it out or have them on your bed but not much in between!

I am definitely going to try and get her outside more often for wees going forward. It’s always when I’m preparing the kids tea or breakfast that we have accidents.

Also she won’t wee on a walk or anywhere but the garden. The other day we went out in the car, went to the pet shop, went for a 20 min walk, dropped the kids off at an activity, drive home again, so in and out of the car on various pavements, grass etc - she didn’t go for 3-4 hours to the point she was squirming and wriggling in the car - but went as soon as we got home in the garden. She obviously thinks the car is more precious than the kitchen floor!!!

How do I get her to toilet while out and about?

Have you tried teaching her to pee on command?

So when she does toilet outside, add a word to it (while she's going) and give her loads of praise/treats.

After a while, when out and about, you can say your command word and she should go. My beagle responds to "go toilet", but any words will work as long as you time it properly!

Mine respond to “wee wee in the garden”. I wish I’d chosen something else. I blame sleep deprivation and puppy brain.

Definitely use a command word for toileting. It doesn't matter what it is. Stand and keep repeating it for now whilst she pees. Do that for some weeks so that it is really ingrained in her, and at some point she will just pee whenever you say the word.

It might be worth getting some of the doggy door bells too. Ours ring the bells to go into the garden. Not necessarily for wees every time, sometimes just because they fancy going out, but it's helpful for them to have that signal. She might be just a little bit too young to teach this yet, you'll need to wait until she's more reliable first so maybe around 5 months or so.

@3AndADog

How do we make the move out of the lounge at night?

Very very gradually, move a foot or so every night, when she makes a noise, gently hush her. You have to try and decipher if she’s making a noise because she needs to go out or if it’s attention seeking.

You will also have to crate train her during the day, she has to fit in with you as well. We fed everything in the crate for the first few months or so, she associated the crate with good things too.

Toilet training is all about positive praise. When she goes outside, lots of praise and a high value treat, apart from at night, always just a little pat on the head “good girl” and back to bed. They usually sniff and may circle before squatting so if you can watch for that you might make it easier.

Ours was never a nipper or biter, but she’s ripe for teething now, so a cold tea towel frozen for her to chew on might help with that. A carrot can be a good veg to feed for soothing teething pups.

It does feel over whelming but if you get this bit right, you will have a well behaved dog in the future.

Just remember she hasn’t read a training manual so do whatever works for you! Good luck

Ok thank you all. Unfortunately our command word seems to be wee wee too but it’s not sticking because I’m the only one doing it I think. I need the others to remember!

I am doing some crate games with her, lots of treats for going in, she’ll sit and wait for up to 20 or 30 seconds for the next treat before getting g bored and I can move out of sight for a couple of seconds. She has all meals in there and has the odd puzzle feeder thing but she won’t lie there and chew something - if I leave her fave antler of something she’ll go and get it and bring it out!

Get another crate and put it in the bedroom. You can move it out by degrees as the puppy matures, but your sleep is important.
I have an older dog and a puppy at the mo. At bedtime I carry the puppy upstairs and put him in the crate. He can see me and the other dog. We go out once during the night at around 3 am, but I am trying to move it later in preparation for ceasing the nighttime loo trips. He has never cried at night. I also did this with the older dog (4 and a half) and she was always quiet too. Mind, my dogs always sleep in the bed anyway - they are both small breeds.

Does moving the crate out of your room work though? I hoped doing it this way around might be easier on her but I’m tempted… we’d have a fair way to go from our room to get her to the toilet and down here the door goes straight out to the garden.

We started with pup downstairs but I stayed with her to start. Closer to garden and they don’t sleep upstairs as adults.

@Wolfiefan how long did it take you to get out of the living room and bay was your tactic?

We had our pup in a crate ne t to the bed. We just moved it but by bit. He now sleeps on his own in a different room.
Tbh, don't think I could have handled weeks on the sofa.

With our first I slept next to her for three weeks. At first she needed to touch me through the bars (she was an extreme case!) Then she needed to see me. Then just be able to hear my voice when she woke. Then she started to sleep all night quite happily and I went back to bed.
But that’s not a normal case. They all vary. It was hard at the time but I’ve now got a dog who is quite happy to be left all night and feels safe in “her” room.
It’s hard OP. So hard at first. But all the hard work you put in now will reward you with a confident and well behaved member of the family. Hang on in there!