advice about asd son who hates dogs

[cantstayaway21]

I thought this is best placed here.
Id start by saying i know zero about dogs so pretty clueless about this situation.

Ds6 has a deep fear of dogs. I have no idea why. If a dog comes up to him he starts having a meltdown. Most dogs go fuck this and leave him alone but Some owners try to shove their dog to ds and say its ok hes friendly etc So ds will try hit out at the dog. I ask them not to as he cant cope but Im still the bad guy here

What can i do ?

forget to say ds is non verbal and has little understanding

Are we talking incidents in the park or with friends and family who are dog owners? If in the park there may be strategies to reduce/avoid areas dogs are likely to be off lead. If with friends and family may be more about education on autism so that they can understand it is more than 'just' being nervous.

Animals can bring comfort for children with autism but can also be stressful - my dd10 adores her cat but is uncomfortable around dogs, just too unpredictable. A lazy and predictable dog would be best if you do want to work on interactions with dogs eg one happy just to sit and have its belly rubbed.

I don't understand why some people behave like this - I am so sorry.

I have a six month old cocker spaniel who generally speaking ignores people, but will sometimes run up to people if they have a dog with them, or if they speak to her. I always apologise and call her away. I was scared of dogs as a child because I found them unpredictable, and I have an autistic teen who is not keen so I understand that not everyone wants to be bessie mates with my dog.

I think you need to just keep doing what you're doing - ask for them to call their dog away. If a dog ends up getting hit that's on the owner not you - they should be in control. If a child with autism or a young child hit my dog I would blame myself, not the child.

@milkjetmum

Are we talking incidents in the park or with friends and family who are dog owners? If in the park there may be strategies to reduce/avoid areas dogs are likely to be off lead. If with friends and family may be more about education on autism so that they can understand it is more than 'just' being nervous.

Animals can bring comfort for children with autism but can also be stressful - my dd10 adores her cat but is uncomfortable around dogs, just too unpredictable. A lazy and predictable dog would be best if you do want to work on interactions with dogs eg one happy just to sit and have its belly rubbed.

None of our family or friends have dogs. I do avoid places with lots of dogs about but unfortunately it happens in the street so cant be avoided

My DS is NT but he also had a massive fear of dogs. We found out about a course that Dogs Trust do (I posted on Mumsnet and someone contacted me about it). It was fantastic - it really helped him to slowly build up his resilience with them and now he is mostly fine around dogs. I recommend contacting them to see if they can help.

My DS hates dogs, I've taught him to turn his back on them. It does signal to owners that they need to call their dogs off. Unfortunately a lot of owners don't notice or don't care. "Please call your dog back" is all you can say. On the bright side, my DS has been loads better this summer. I think the stress of lockdown made his phobia worse.

I know people with phobias of dogs and they can’t always be avoided. So best to try and resolve.

I used to be very scared too - cross the road behaviour- but now love them!!

A couple of ideas:

Do you have a friend who has a calm older dog he could slowly meet.

Is he scared of all animals? My child’s nursery used to have a farm visit inc their pet calm cavalier.

I know you can go to their farm for private petting - I wonder if there is one near you?

@Lifeisaminestrone

I know people with phobias of dogs and they can’t always be avoided. So best to try and resolve.

I used to be very scared too - cross the road behaviour- but now love them!!

A couple of ideas:

Do you have a friend who has a calm older dog he could slowly meet.

Is he scared of all animals? My child’s nursery used to have a farm visit inc their pet calm cavalier.

I know you can go to their farm for private petting - I wonder if there is one near you?

just dogs. We are working on it with a support worker.