Post puppy depression?

[opalescent]

Hi all. I’m looking for a bit of support/reassurance I think.
I have a ten week old puppy- she’s been with us for ten days now.
She is adorable, and a completely normal, clever little pup. She is doing all the normal things- peeing, waking at night, chewing/biting. All to be expected. On the whole she has actually been amazingly well behaved, and grasped things like overnight crating really well. My kids love her to bits.

I honestly feel though, exactly the same as I did when I had post natal depression. A strange sort of anxiety, and a feeling of regularly wanting to go into a corner and cry (and actually doing it sometimes).
It doesn’t feel like it’s the day to day workload, more to do with the new and forever responsibility, and all of the unknowns. It’s hard at the moment to imagine her NOT creating constant chaos. I am struggling to remember why I thought this would be fine, amongst all the other graft of family life.

I can’t really discuss this with my Dh, as I am known for being an anxious type, and this will really add to that.

I’m really just hoping for a handhold, and reminders that this hard bit will pass quickly. Thank you

It's totally normal!

Mine had me in tears when he was younger but he's almost four now and a wonderful adult dog.

I'm a dog walker and bring him to work - all my clients love him and he loves them.

It's so worth the stress in the long run!

Yeah I totally know what you mean, with the parellels of PND! I remember taking our puppy out at 5am for a wee and thinking 'who the hell are you'? Sure she was cute, but essentially just a stranger that I was having to do all this stuff for and I couldn't imagine things being different.
Obviously now, she's 6 and the beating heart of our family! Still a pain in the ass, but we'd never change her. It will get better surprisingly quickly (unlike kids!), I think from about 6 months she was totally chilled and into our routine

Oh OP I am just the same. Our pup is 7 months old and to be honest I still feel regret. I also have terrible anxiety and feel like I can’t talk to dh about it. He knows to a certain extent but I can’t talk too much about it as it already drives him mad when I worry.
I still feel so much dread every morning wondering how the day will go. So many issues to sort with her training. I hate meeting other dog walkers, all those micro interactions every day are tiring. And I feel like I have lost my independence again just like when the kids were born, but this time worse as I don’t have that unconditional love I had for them. I am just trying to put all my effort in to training her and hoping she turns out to be a lovable adult dog who I will enjoy as a companion.

opalescent And anyone else with a puppy, come to that, have you looked at the 'puppy survival thread' on here (the doghouse) you might find it helpful.

Very comforting to read these comments. I love our 7 month (nearly 8m) pup but I have waves of feeling completely overwhelmed and that I'm not cut out for this. I feel guilty for feeling resentful for losing that freedom to have a lie in, to not get up early, to plan everything around the pup pretty much but I also really love spending time with him and just really want the very best for him. It's definitely two steps forward, three back and I say this as someone whose pup was toilet trained and sleeping through the night really, really quickly. I worry about him so much - I just want him to be a happy, healthy, confident dog. I see people calmly trotting their dogs out on walks, peacefully walking past other dogs and wonder will this pulling like a train and wanting to greet everyone with a big bouncy face lick grinning buffoon pup ever be like that?! (though he's getting loads better at a solid fortnight of calm, routine, same route walks that stop dead if he pulls and now he swiftly trots back to heel position and the pulling has dropped dramatically).

I hear you. I was exactly the same. Am exactly the same. On sertraline myself for anxiety and having been 20+ years in the wanting I too find myself feeling the puppy blues and wondering what on earth I've done.

I'm just hoping I can push on through once I am back in school in 2 weeks and that he settles ok. It's all a big unknown and feels like having a very mobile, bitey toddler.

I miss lie ins already. Its only been 2 weeks. But I am feeling such love for him today.

@cheeseisthebest the lie-ins will come back, I'm crossing my fingers!

I see people calmly trotting their dogs out on walks, peacefully walking past other dogs and wonder will this pulling like a train and wanting to greet everyone with a big bouncy face lick grinning buffoon pup ever be like that?

Yes, if you put the work in it will happen and your pup will be that calm, well behaved dog.

When my dog was young she would lunge at every motorbike that went past. I thought we'd never cure that one but we did, and got to the point that she doesn't even notice them.

Likewise cats.

I can remember every time we left the house, when she was going through her teenage phase, saying to her 'please don't embarrass me today.'

You will get to the stage where your dog no longer 'embarrasses' you, and people with unruly pups will be looking at you thinking, 'will my dog ever walk along calmly like that.'

And remember, when you see someone with a lovely calm puppy, you're just seeing a small snapshot of their walk. The pup could have been behaving like an absolute loon five minutes before you saw them

Completely normal OP. Mine is now 6 and is a sheer joy. She is a lazy bones though and likes nothing more than to relax.

Sorry I havnt been in here since I last posted . Yesterday when I got home from work I had a complete meltdown . Literally just cried and cried to my husband about how I'm struggling mentally and just how drained I am with everything . I felt so numb . Does anyone else even when they are not with their pup constantly think about him/her but with worry and anxiety? I don't get my self lately . I spend half the day smiling and thinking how much I love him and the other half just pure what the hell have I done . I miss my mornings if just chilling in bed getting up when I want too , watching Netflix all day 😂 big shock to the system. I hope everyone else is having a good day ❤️

Totally understand. I love the bones of the hairy little stinkbomb but feel overwhelmed.

DH sent me back to bed this morning and watched the pup. So blooming grateful for some rest.

I just keep channelling the same mantra as when the kids were tiny: it's just a phase, it'll pass soon enough.

Yes I totally understand. Dh often takes pup out for walk in the evening “to give me a break” or watches her in the kitchen. But I don’t feel like I can fully relax in my down time because I just can’t shake the worry and the feeling of overwhelmed

Perfectly normal after a week or so. It gets better though.

Oh my goodness- this just means you are all completely NORMAL! Having a puppy is bloody exhausting. I adore mine and she is my absolute love but dang, sometimes I need a break from her. Its perfectly ok to feel the way you do- dont fight it, just acknowledge that yes- its really really hard. That doesnt mean you made the wrong decision- most things in life that are worth doing are bloody hard arent they? Just remember "this too shall pass"- she will get older, calm down more and settle, she will find her groove in your family and you will get your mojo back. You are just in the trenches at the moment in terms of being tired and having so much to do but this time will go quickly and in a year or so, you'll look back at puppy photos and get all emotional! Chin up :)

Mine is 3 and I still regret ever getting a dog-I will never have one again! Tbh I wish I had rehomed him when I had doubts when he was a pup. Everyone is too attached to him now and I look after him well but I get zero enjoyment out of dog ownership.

@MotherQueenXeno that's such a shame! What are the specifics that you find drag you down with having a dog?

opalescent A lot of the reason I feel the way I do is probably specific to my dog. In hindsight I picked the wrong breed, he has been impossible to train, walking him is not enjoyable and not at all how I thought it would be.

Apart from that, it's just general reasons like the guilt when I can't walk him, the responsibility, the dog poo in the garden, the fact we can't just go out for the day without considering him, the sometimes negative encounters with other dogs and worrying about him being attacked.

I suppose I should have really realised all this before I got a dog but all I read beforehand was the positive side and I convinced myself the negatives would not matter/would get better in time. For me it's a little like having another child that I am responsible for but without any of the love or rewarding parts!

Bear in mind though, many people go onto to adore their dogs, perhaps I am in the minority
and I don't mean to put you off your puppy. I hope it goes well for you.

I'm really struggling with not getting any separation from the pup. He cries if I leave him on his own for a minute. It's exhausting. He is only quiet if he's with me (including in my bed at night). For my sanity I need to be able to leave him on his own in another room in the house so I can have a shower at least but it's hard hearing the crying. Any tips?!

@Heretherenow I'm having the exact same issue, and it's really hard. Today I just bit the bullet and went for a shower, leaving puppy in the kitchen. She cried for a few minutes- when I finished my shower I peeped downstairs and she had gone to sleep 👍🏻

Similar here. I left mine for 5 minutes, he barked a bit then when I came back down he was fine!

Going to do it more often to get him used to it

@peardropsonarainyday how are you feeling and getting on with your puppy?