Looking to adopt a dog

[runwithme]

Any advice would be great! We do not want a puppy as I know of two families who recently adopted pups and struggled with the upkeep and had to return them. Both families were broken-hearted and I don't want to go through that.

Where do we start? I am a member of what seems like a zillion groups on FB which is just overwhelming as we would love to adopt them all! I don't want to go through a breeder, so whilst we have certain requirements I am aware that we won't completely get what we want. I WFH 4 out of 5 days a week, the other day the dog will be alone for 4-5 hours (so will get a dog walker if needed). No other animals in the house, but have a 9 year old and a 13 year old. We don't want a big dog, or a dog that requires huge long walks. We live in a busy town but have a small, secure garden.

If anyone has any ideas of what to look for (we are thinking of a cavapoo , a cavachon or a bichon frise as we know friends who have those and they seem good natured and good with kids) or where we should look. A lot of people seem disheartened with adoption as they say they apply but aren't getting anywhere. I have seen lots of European rescues and have read good and bad about this and because we are after a dog (as opposed to a pup) I am wary about them. Can anyone recommend a reputable one, and advise on what to look for in a rescue centre/dog.
We are in SE London, if that helps, with recommending a UK resuce centre.

Thanks in advance!

What makes you think that an older dog will be any less upkeep than a puppy? Sometimes they can be just as hard..

Good luck, I know it's been hard for people trying to adopt but fingers crossed if you persevere you'll find the right fit for your family.

All those mixes or breeds will be pretty high maintenance in terms of coat care and grooming, so if you can't do it yourself (or don't know how) you'll need to pay for grooming every 6-8 weeks and brush your dog daily so it doesn't develop sore and painful matts.

Cavaliers are also bred as companion dogs and don't necessarily do well on their own, so a cross/mix may not be any better. Poodles are also known for their separation anxiety/need to be around people.

Dogs are a big commitment though - and it's worth thinking about what you'd do if the dog has been alone all day and you need to go out that night - say, for parents' evening or you want to go or a meal, to the cinema or the theatre?

The same goes for weekend trips to places that aren't dog friendly. It's something many owners don't really consider - you can't take your dog with you on a day out to the shops but many daycares don't open at weekends and if they are, they're booked up well in advance.

That's what's probably the toughest part of dog ownership for me - the commitment and you do lose a lot of your freedom. You can say goodbye to spontaneous days out, meals/drinks after work etc. as you'll need to make sure you have care in place for your dog.

Thanks both. Yes, acutely aware of our responsibilities and massive change to our lifestyle. We are willing to adapt and change and are looking for the right dog,hoping that we are the right household for that dog.

Also aware that adult dogs come with challenges like puppies do but I'm also hoping that the rescue centres and Foster carers (if applicable) will be honest as to what the particular dogs have in terms of issues, and then we can make a decision.

Any advice on rescue homes?

Over the years I have had quite a few puppies, but I did rehome a little dog whose owners had died. He was a perfectly nice dog from a loving home, but I found bonding with him took a long time - an adult dog can be quite set in their ways, and I think the poor thing found losing his owners and moving house very traumatic. (At 7 he had never negotiated a staircase before either, having come from a bungalow). He was rather aloof anyway, and it was many months before he seemed totally at home and became affectionate towards me. Because of this I never rehomed another adult dog. Puppies are hard work for a while, but they bond with you very quickly and soon get into the groove of your lifestyle/become one of the family. This dog had no bad habits, was trained/house trained and had been well loved. It could have been much more difficult if the opposite had been true.
I am just saying this because an adult dog isn't going to be grateful and loving just because you've given it a home, and you might end up with a dog that needs as much, if not more, input than a puppy.

Whereabouts in the country are you?

I am just saying this because an adult dog isn't going to be grateful and loving just because you've given it a home, and you might end up with a dog that needs as much, if not more, input than a puppy.

Yeah, I think this is really important.

I'm a dog walker and every single adult rescue I've met has come with "issues" of some sort. They range from separation anxiety to destructiveness to reactivity and more. Some are manageable, some the owners really struggle with even several years down the line.

Remember, many dogs won't show their real personality while in the rescue centre or as soon as they get home. It can take 3-6 months with you for them to really settle and show their true colours.

Thanks all. It's definitely given me food for thought. I am pretty certain I don't want to get a puppy, but it looks like an adult isn't for us after all so maybe I need to rethink my options.

@icedcoffees - we are SE London

Hello, I'm in se London (herne hill) and have two rescue dogs from many tears. I home check and foster for them, my last dog being a failed foster! Have a look at their website, they're in Wales but fosterers are all over the country like me! Lots of their dogs need resident dogs but lots don't so use the search bar. Feel free to pm me if I can help x

@icedcoffees, my experience is that most "well bred" dogs are nothing of the sort. In my street alone out of about 12 horrendously expensive cross breeds, my two mongrel rescues are by far the most well behaved, they don't bark for hours, snarl at small children, refuse to recall and bite everyone they meet. My ex breeder shih tzu is the most stable and consistent dog you'll meet, that's why I kept her after fostering!!

[quote tadpole39]@icedcoffees, my experience is that most "well bred" dogs are nothing of the sort. In my street alone out of about 12 horrendously expensive cross breeds, my two mongrel rescues are by far the most well behaved, they don't bark for hours, snarl at small children, refuse to recall and bite everyone they meet. My ex breeder shih tzu is the most stable and consistent dog you'll meet, that's why I kept her after fostering!![/quote]
Horrendously expensive cross-breeds are highly, highly unlikely to be well-bred, though.

Of course some rescue dogs are fabulous - my concern is that OP doesn't want a puppy due to the hard work - which is fine, but adult rescues can be just as tough, if not more so, than puppies.

Out of the ones I walk, the issues include:

• severe dog reactivity.
• lack of house-training (would just toilet where she stood with no warning or signs)
• separation anxiety (which included messing the house and destructive behaviours)
• aggression and a bite history towards children.
• non-existent recall.

Of course those issues can be present in any dog but the point I'm trying to get across is that rescues can be just as difficult to work with as new puppies. Most undesirable puppy behaviour (toileting indoors, accidents, nipping, jumping up, mouthing) will disappear with adequate training and consistency, whereas behaviours like reactivity and severe anxiety in adults are often permanent and can be pretty dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.

Hi op. We didn't want a puppy, too big a commitment. After lots of thought and research we decided to adopt an ex racing greyhound. He's wonderful, walks beautifully on the lead, gentle, relaxed, two 40 mins walks a day only, already housetrained, lots of strokes and he loves a sofa chill in the evening!
I agree about the curtailing of freedom, but if you're prepared for that, I heartily recommend a greyhound. Calm, gentle and loyal dogs. My children love him and despite changes made (pub lunches rather than dinners out, roofbox on the car for holidays as he's in the boot!) We wouldn't go back, he's enriched our family life hugely.

Have you looked at chimney farm? They are an international rescue but the dogs are fostered in the U.K. before being adopted so you are getting a ‘known’ quantity, as much as with any dog or pup

They often ask for another dog in the home but sometimes have a dog that will be ok as an only dog

Thanks all, I really appreciate your replies. I had seen a Romanian shelter who foster their dogs to UK families and its really helpful because the bio shows a little snapshot of what family life is like. I think its going to be a bit of a long journey.

I get what @icedcoffees says about the usual puppy traits being addressed through training and time, its just an unknown quantity, but as they and a PP said, so is a dog and maybe even more so.

I am really unsure what to do!! Are puppies really that hard work?

My puppy was hard work for maybe 12/18 months - he's nearly four now and he's fine and has been pretty solid since about two years old.

I think the concern I have with rescues is many won't show their true personality in a shelter or rescue situation, and it can take a good 3-6 months for those dogs to settle into their new homes and show their personalities.

So a dog can come to you and seem lonely, calm and well behaved but that could be through fear or being "shut down". Once they begin to relax and trust you, their real behaviours can show and it's generally much harder to train poor behaviour out of an adult than it is a puppy in my experience.

If I was dealing with say, anxiety or reactivity I would much rather be dealing with a puppy than a full grown adult.

Ok, that makes a lot of sense. There is a lot to think about. Presumably a rescue centre puppy would be ok, as we are loathed to go to a breeder. I guess it matters to those who want to know the parentage but should we be looking for anything if we do go for a puppy from a rescue centre?

I would do some research on breeds and figure out which ones you'd be able to cope with (in terms of size, grooming, exercise etc) and which ones are a total no go for your circumstances.

I'm not trying to put you off going for an adult rescue if that's what you want, but I think it's important to go in with eyes open and to realise that adult dogs with "issues" can be just as much work as a puppy and that it can last a lifetime.

For example I really struggled with sleepless nights with our puppy but it only lasted 3-4 months. Whereas I know some adult rescues with severe reactivity issues due to lack of socialisation, and those owners will be coping with that for life.

We ended up with an ex racing greyhound and carried on having them - the ones from a good rehoming organization usually have had a stable, known background and as PP said, they don't have huge needs re grooming or exercise. Very affectionate, lazy, bit dim!

BTW have you done the maths re upkeep - with insurance, kenneling, food, treats and vaccinations ours costs us nearly £2k/year - granted he's nearly 10 now and insurance is cheaper when younger, but you still have to choose it carefully because changing it after any sort of condition arises is v difficult.

I wouldn’t completely discount going to a breeder. If you’re after a pedigree you can contact the breed club and go from there. But it’s very much buyer beware.
There are also breed specific rescues.
I would avoid the crosses you mention as you could end up with a whole heap of health issues.
Also don’t just look in your local area at rescues.

I have a dog I adopted when she was 4 from Battersea (so not far from you, OP). She doesn't have any problem issues though had some fears in the first few months, which once I understood, were very manageable. She is a brilliant dog. -a staffy cross (she is a firm favourite with neighbours and many other people we meet on walks). It might be a good idea to keep an open mind about type of dog. Go and register with Battersea and ask their advice. They know their dogs and spend a lot of time on evaluating them and sorting out any issues, basic training/manners, etc. Registering does not commit you to adopting from them but makes it easier and gets you more help finding a dog.

Just to add, I would do this again but would never take on a puppy. Far too exhausting. I am older now but did have a puppy when I was 11 years old and had more energy - he was a really nice dog but I still remember (more than 50 years later) what hard work he was at first and what needlelike teeth he had (for MONTHS).

Hi op,

I am a regular foster mum for dogs. 2 of my own dogs were rescued. One purchased. The oldest was purchased. The middle and baby were Foster then we decided to adopt. I would adopt them all but we don't have room

Adoption is great. It's absolutely not for everyone. And that's OK. It took me a while to be able to cope with it. Dp was a natural.

The vast majority of dogs we get in through Foster, have fairly big problems. As a Fosterer, we work with behaviourists and trainers and vets, but sometimes the problems just need to managed rather than fixed. Some are just training issues, where they haven't had any.

The first few months with a new adopted dog, can be far more stressful than a puppy imo.

Middle dog, came to me as a Foster with 2 sisters who were abandoned in December 2019. About 5 weeks old. They were easier than alot of our older Foster dogs.

Our latest addition could be anything from an actual poodle, to a cavapoo/cavapoochon, cockapoo. No chip so can't trace her. She is actually quite nonchalant about people. She is super easy. She seems toilet trained on the whole. Quite independent. Happy to sleep alone or with the other dogs. Sleeps through etc. But my understand of poodle crosses (especially miniature or toy) is that they are usually quite clingy. Our best guess is that she was about 12 weeks old, when she arrived, as per the vet. She has slotted straight in and life is no different to when we had 3. Apart from she can't be walked yet, due to injections. So she stays with dp. While I take them. She currently snoozing on the wood floors near the older 2.

One of our fosters, who has been now been adopted, has been working with a behaviourist for 3 years. Still an escape artist that likes to chase cars. He lives with someone with a very secure garden that backs into woods and can't be walked off lead at all.

Many have temporary problems. That then present again when they go to a permanent homes. You can't gain a dogs trust while making them understand they won't be here permanently and they regress. Most are OK after a few months but need you to keep up with the schedule. Some go to their new home with no problems, at all. You can't tell.

I haven't had a nightmare puppy. Which I think is a mixture of luck and having behaviourists on hand to help. The oldest which we got from a breeder came home at 12 weeks old and was easy too. Occasional accidents but slept through from night 4. I have had puppies from breeders prior to this who were all fairly good too.

So please dont assume an older rescue will be easier than a puppy. But if you go to a breeder I wouldn't recommend a poodle Cross. Even though our girl seems great, they are usually poorly bred. Finding a good breeder poodle crosses is minefield. And honestly, they usually look like unclipped poodles. Which is why we couldn't guess what our is, they are all very alike in looks. They are often mixed with working dogs and can be hard work. Cavaliers have heart problems, which isn't guaranteed to not be present in a cavapoo. They are also not gaurenteed to not shed. Their coats also take a lot of grooming, especially if they don't shed. I won't be fostering any puppies until we move as I can't part with them.

You can wait for a rescue puppy but finding one that fits your wants, may mean waiting for ages. Years. We have had 2 in 2 years and the latest isn't what we would have picked. But that's also because me and dp have done extra work offered by the rescue. But also because we have been able to drop everything and go. When we fostered the 3 sisters, we got a call on the 18th December. Drove a 10 hour round trip to get them on the 19th, and rearranged our Christmas plans so they were not over whelmed. This latest one, I was called on the sunday morning, spoke to dp, kids went to my parents for the afternoon/night and we went that afternoon. My kids are older but we like to settle them in with a quiet house for the first night.

Its a small rescue that I work with. Its obviously, very different if it's a big rescue. They will look after the puppies and have a wait list, not sure if that makes it easier or harder. For small rescues, those willing to Foster tend to be at the front of the queue. The vast majority are fostered, then adopted by the Foster family. Again, you don't know what you are getting though. People surrendering their dogs often lie. I once went to pick up a cavalier and was presented with the biggest springer I have ever seen. We often get told 'recall is great, really well trained no problems, our lives have just changed and we don't have time', when it's clear that the dog hasn't been trained at all. I had one that didn't even know the name we had been given and had no chip at 9 months old. We have no clue where they got him or where he had been since he was born or even if they had been the owner long. There had to be loads of extra steps to see if he had been stolen to reunite.

Also going to pick them up can be fairly upsetting.

In short, I know this is long. Don't commit to a rescue unless you are really sure you can handle anything. Fostering is good but risky and a big commitment. Puppies, in my experience, aren't that bad (only my exeprience) but you will what ages to get one from a rescue.

If you go through a breeder, do lots of research. Stay away from any that breed many puppies or have many breeds available. Lucy's law means that the breeder should own mum too, but there's a big loop hole in Lucy's law so puppy farms can still continue. So pointless really. The breeder, should quiz you to make sure you are right for them. But always double check anything they tell you about the breed. Don't ever buy from someone trying to rehome a dog around 10-26 weeks on Facebook, free ads, through a friend of a friend etc. Often there's huge problems and they don't want to surrender as they won't get any money back or is a scam.

My very first cocker was sold to me under the pretense of being like a cavalier. They are not the same. But I was young (19) and dumb assumed a breeder wouldn't lie

Sorry its long. Just wanted to explain my experience. Other people's will be very different.

Instead of going for a puppy, why not try an older dog? There's a rescue network called golden oldies who foster nationwide. Dogs trust are very supportive with behavioural advice. Puppies get snapped up quickly from rescues whereas older dogs tend to languish. They are usually more mellow and just want a nice retirement home and not too much walking Great that you're going to rescue :)

If you’re not keen on the work involved in a puppy please don’t get an older dog from Romania! You don’t know their background and many are really traumatised. (As are many from our own rescues to be fair)! So many adult dogs who are rehomed require a LOT of input and care to rehabilitate them, just as much if not more than a puppy.

We rehomed a greyhound - it sounded like an easy option compared to many of the other options presented to us and he didn’t sleep more than 2 hours without barking and howling for about 6 months. He chewed every single piece of furniture we had, peed all over everything (he had never lived in a home environment before, only kennels as an ex racer) and wouldn’t go on a walk - he would just stand there half way through and refuse to move. Took a long time to rehabilitate him, we had our neighbours complaining about the noise and wondered what on Earth we’d done…! It was really difficult and we researched really well and expected most of the above but the reality was very tough.

Most of the adult dogs that need rehoming have some issues. Just be very careful.

I think when adopting a dog you have to be patient and wait for the right one. Lots of people give up really quickly when adopting because it’s easier to go to a breeder but there are so many wonderful dogs desperately ready for their forever home in shelters. There are so many. My dog we adopted from the dogs trust. She was 6 months old, a collie/lab cross and she’s amazing (though a lot of changes for us abs our family, owning a dog is harder than I realised) . She came from Ireland she was a stray and we don’t believe she was ever harmed in any way as she’s so loving and not scared of people/noises etc.
Her information for adoption said she couldn’t go to a home with children under 10 yrs and my youngest was just 8. We almost didn’t enquire but casually mentioned it to a member of staff. They said the under 10’s was just because she was a very excitable bouncy dog and could potentially knock over young children (she never has). They said as long as my youngest wasnt afraid of dogs and wouldnt freak out if the dog jumped up it would be fine. You can join lots of waiting lists for certain breeds but we went with no idea in mind we thought we’d know when we found ‘the one’ and we did.

It may take up to a year to find your perfect rescue match - so other people are right that there's a lot of patience required. I'm exhausted the amount of people that give rescues stick after only a month or two of applications, when there's still huge demand and desirable dog breeds or dogs that can live with children can get upwards of 100 applications. Sigh.

Also, it may have already been mentioned (TLDR over here) but, while potentially leaving your dog for 4-5 hours (broken up with a dog walker is a must) should be ok, you won't be able to do it immediately. It may take months to build up that time and the dog, puppy or older dog, may not adapt to it at all. You must make this clear you understand this on a rescue application, too many apply and think the very next day after bringing the pup home they can go back to a normal routine, and then wonder why they get passed over for a dog :(