I have a 15, almost 16, year old Lurcher with very similar symptoms and a few more which are suggestive of something neurological. I totally understand how you are feeling, as we are going through the same.
I would definitely get a full vet check in the first instance. The staring, pooing and leg dragging could all be down to spinal issues and pain, especially if she’s having issues jumping onto the sofa as well. My boy was already on treatment and supplements for arthritis and we put him on Aktivait for the cognitive decline a year ago, but we discovered at his regular vet appointment a month ago that he has pain in his spine and he was put on Gabapentin for this which has definitely helped.
Like your girl, he loves his walks and adores his food. He has senior moments, when he’s clearly not with us, but conversely still has his cheeky personality, has his version of a mad half hour after dinner every night. He sleeps a lot, but when he’s awake he’s not withdrawn, likes to be involved in what we’re doing and still actively seeks out attention, fusses and cuddles. We do everything we can to keep him comfortable, pain free and happy. Basically the whole household (5 of us) all chip in to make sure his needs are met 24/7. (My husband has been sleeping downstairs with him for months now.)
He sees the vet monthly. She’s great, not a ‘keep going at all costs vet’ and listens to us when we go through how he’s been so we can have an honest discussion. We keep a good day/bad day diary on a whiteboard on the fridge, where we also record any new or worsening symptoms or bad episodes. That helps us to objectively work out if he’s deteriorating or stable and if he is still having more good days than bad, as it’s far to easy to minimise when you don’t want to lose them.
My husband, myself and one of our older teen dcs, who is his best mate and very involved in his care, have regular review discussions, where we honestly talk about how we think he’s doing and if we have reached the end. In fact we had one late last night, where we very sadly agreed that the balance is starting to tip and the end is close now. I think, honestly, we probably only have a couple of weeks now until we need to make the hardest decision before he deteriorates. We’re very conscious that we don’t want to leave it too late after we lost a dog at home to a catastrophic event during the first lockdown last year, when we couldn’t go in with him at the end and we couldn’t just hand him over as he was petrified of the vets. At least this time they will allow us in, although we’re considering using a different vet, recommended by a local rescue, who will come to our house.
It’s a horrible situation to be in and a first for us. In over 30 years of having dogs, this is the first time we’ve dealt with a slow decline and geriatric dog, rather than having a clear indicator that it’s time. Even when we’ve had geriatric dogs before, they have let us know when they have had enough.
Can you call the vets and book in with one of the better vets by name? Ours is a multi-vet practice, so we always make sure we book with the same vet if we can and if not one of the others we have worked with before and know are compassionate and sensible with their approach.
Type up a brief history/timeline of current symptoms and any specific questions to take with you, as it helps you to focus, when it’s often difficult to have these discussions without getting upset and losing your train of thought. Plus my boy always perks up and looks fine and dandy at his vet appointments! We give our notes to the vet every visit and they scan them into his notes, so if we do have to see a different vet the full history is there for them.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I had an easy answer or some definitive guidance, but it’s all so personal and individual and no-one knows your dog like you do, so really you are the only one who will ‘know’. I would say that if you are starting to have these questions/thoughts, that it is probably near, gut instinct is a powerful thing and shouldn’t be ignored. A full vet visit and check-up (book a double appointment if you want to be sure you won’t be rushed) with a frank discussion re options (palliative, pain relief etc) plus an honest, open discussion with your family is the first step towards you making the right decision and struggling less with doubts.
