Failing

[onceuponatime22]

I really don't want to be writing this but I don't know what to do and it's breaking my heart . I have a 17 week male golden retriever. I would say he has been more hard work than your typical pup. Only the last 3 days he has slept through the night . I have been surviving on 3 hours sleep a night and then getting up at 3 am for work .
He's absolutely adorable and such a loving boy but I don't know what it is but I just can't adjust to this huge change in my life . My husband and son convinced me to get him . I have always been hot and half about a dog because of the huge commitment. I have felt like I did when I had my son . I had pnd. Just feel really alone and I know how stupid it sounds because it is a dog . My son is grown up I never wanted another baby because of them being hard work and now I feel like the dog is much harder . My husband and son said they would help and practically do everything. Lasted a day . I feel like I have no time for myself between work , house work , the dog . Also my husband doesn't like him at all and it's putting me on edge . It's like he resents him for changing our easy life before .

Also he has suffered badly with stomach issues and I am back and forth to the vets at leave once a week which costs a fortune . He hasn't been making it outside either so has been having really bad diarrhoea everywhere . I just feel so selfish that I'm thinking of rehoming him because I can't deal with the atmosphere in the house anymore .
If I did rehome him I woundnt want any money . I just want him to go to a family with goldens and have a lovely life with out having to put up with us . I feel like such a crap person . Please no abusive comments . My dog is so loved and spoilt rotten by myself . Has anyone felt like this and it's passed ? Thankyou

My girl was adult when I got her so I can’t help with the puppy part.
You say your DH convinced you to get him...now he doesn’t like him and won’t help. Your son also....how old is he?
If they stepped up you might relax and just love the dog, but it doesn’t sound like they will.
I’d rehome him before he gets too attached.

I’ve grown up around dogs, but my very own
first dog was a lab. Never have I experienced such a nightmare of a puppy and teenager dog! Ever. But once the terrible first phase was over, he is the best dog ever so hang in there. (Unless you don’t love him and have no support, in which case return to breeder/rehome him whilst he’s a baby). Where did you get him from? and how old was he when you had him? Did you see mum etc?
My pup was being fed Arden Grange dog food, a good food apparently but my dog had constant colitis. What are you feeding him OP?

“ I feel like I have no time for myself between work , house work , the dog”. Well this is unlikely to change in all honesty. I walked my lab for an hour in the morning, 30 mins at lunch time and at least an hour in the evening after work. They are a massive tie and that will not change. The most you can leave a dog for is around 4/5 and only once fully trained, in my opinion.
Why doesn’t your DH like the dog? Has he had one before? That’s a pretty big issue to overcome.
Please don’t give him away for free, a reputable breeder should take him back, there’s the RSPCA, dogs trust. He will be snapped up, please rehome him ASAP if it’s not working for you as a family

Oh OP you've been overwhelmed by your adorable pup and all the worry that can come with it.
Ince you have a goldie, you're hooked on - the breed they are some of the best.
I haven't experienced what you gad with any of my puppies over the years but I wanted to reassure you this is one if the easiest dogs you can possibly get.
Try not to treat him like a baby. He is a dog and you don't need to be up with him all night unless he is ill. Once his tummy gets better, you must leave him to settle on his own every night. Within 5 nights he'll be fine.

Biggest issue here is his tummy.
Provided any serious problems have been excluded by the vet.

Has he be wormed properly by your own vet? Recently? There's also a something treatment that comes in a syringe like a paste which has probiotics in it and it's given to puppies in situations like this. Has he had it?
I'd advise dry food only and plenty of available fresh water. Forget wet dog food or mixing anything up.
Zero treats, absolutely no human food unless plain boiled chicken pieces mixed with plain rice. (If my dog has a poorly tummy I give him plain rice one day then rice &chicken for the following two days and it seems to work).

Are you feeling overwhelmed because of the mess as well? 2AM dog diarrhoea in the house when you're sleep deprived is not great. Try and look at the bigger picture and know that this time next month you will have a well balanced slightly crazy super cute puppy to keep you company and make you laugh everyday and a great reason to be out if the house.
And within a year you two will be inseparable.
Feel free to message me if you want to chat and you feel like everything is getting too much. I adore the breed and have had it in the past.

Also, you feel alone as in everything dog related has been dumped on you.
I promise you that you and a goldie will never feel alone together. You'll enjoy the walks (hard to believe it sometimes) but as a grown dog they are not at all demanding, they just want to be near you but don't interfere with what you need to do.
A puppy of any breed requires time and commitment and one year and a bit of effort for care and training and corrections will give you great happiness in the years to come.
You are already really caring with the puppy, the hard work doesn't last forever and once his tummy is better that stress will be gone.

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling and this doesn't make you a bad person. It is a huge life adjustment and it doesn't sound like you have support. You could give yourself a time frame in which to make a decision to take the pressure of rushing into a choice right now when you are overwhelmed by stress and exhaustion. It definitely isn't worth your mental health suffering if it just isn't working for you at this point in your life x

@Branster

Oh OP you've been overwhelmed by your adorable pup and all the worry that can come with it. Ince you have a goldie, you're hooked on - the breed they are some of the best. I haven't experienced what you gad with any of my puppies over the years but I wanted to reassure you this is one if the easiest dogs you can possibly get. Try not to treat him like a baby. He is a dog and you don't need to be up with him all night unless he is ill. Once his tummy gets better, you must leave him to settle on his own every night. Within 5 nights he'll be fine.

Biggest issue here is his tummy.
Provided any serious problems have been excluded by the vet.

Has he be wormed properly by your own vet? Recently? There's also a something treatment that comes in a syringe like a paste which has probiotics in it and it's given to puppies in situations like this. Has he had it?
I'd advise dry food only and plenty of available fresh water. Forget wet dog food or mixing anything up.
Zero treats, absolutely no human food unless plain boiled chicken pieces mixed with plain rice. (If my dog has a poorly tummy I give him plain rice one day then rice &chicken for the following two days and it seems to work).

Are you feeling overwhelmed because of the mess as well? 2AM dog diarrhoea in the house when you're sleep deprived is not great. Try and look at the bigger picture and know that this time next month you will have a well balanced slightly crazy super cute puppy to keep you company and make you laugh everyday and a great reason to be out if the house.
And within a year you two will be inseparable.
Feel free to message me if you want to chat and you feel like everything is getting too much. I adore the breed and have had it in the past.

Thankyou so much for your comment . Don't know why but I actually filled up reading it because you seen so understanding. So Thankyou . That's the trouble I love him so much he's like my baby ha ha and I think that's also where I have gone wrong . I need to get it in to my head is is a dog . Il come home every single day with something new for him and now he expects it 😂 he knows the sound of my car pulling up in the drive and he's in the window going crazy . We have bonded so well and he has with me . I am his favourite person . He's also got separation anxiety but it is getting better . Luckily my son is home with us until December so he's never alone when we are in work . He's had that paste from the vets and antibiotics, I have also bought that stuff online and give it to him every morning but it doesn't seem to work . I am taking him to the emergency vets now his stomach and poo has gone worse . He's now poking black jelly I'm convinced he has colitis. Il keep you updated xxx

I think if you've had bad PND with your son and your husband and son don't like the dog, no point persevering if you're feeling overwhelmed. Just give him back to the breeder (if it was a good one) or a breed-specific rescue. He will be rehomed easily at that age and being a goldie

But if you are too attached to him to give him up, antibiotics from the vet and switch to only dry food cleared up my dogs bad stomach

@Branster

Oh OP you've been overwhelmed by your adorable pup and all the worry that can come with it. Ince you have a goldie, you're hooked on - the breed they are some of the best. I haven't experienced what you gad with any of my puppies over the years but I wanted to reassure you this is one if the easiest dogs you can possibly get. Try not to treat him like a baby. He is a dog and you don't need to be up with him all night unless he is ill. Once his tummy gets better, you must leave him to settle on his own every night. Within 5 nights he'll be fine.

Biggest issue here is his tummy.
Provided any serious problems have been excluded by the vet.

Has he be wormed properly by your own vet? Recently? There's also a something treatment that comes in a syringe like a paste which has probiotics in it and it's given to puppies in situations like this. Has he had it?
I'd advise dry food only and plenty of available fresh water. Forget wet dog food or mixing anything up.
Zero treats, absolutely no human food unless plain boiled chicken pieces mixed with plain rice. (If my dog has a poorly tummy I give him plain rice one day then rice &chicken for the following two days and it seems to work).

Are you feeling overwhelmed because of the mess as well? 2AM dog diarrhoea in the house when you're sleep deprived is not great. Try and look at the bigger picture and know that this time next month you will have a well balanced slightly crazy super cute puppy to keep you company and make you laugh everyday and a great reason to be out if the house.
And within a year you two will be inseparable.
Feel free to message me if you want to chat and you feel like everything is getting too much. I adore the breed and have had it in the past.

Sorry I forgot to reply to the worming . He has a tablet for worms , fleas and lung worm delivered every month from the vets 😊 also I don't think we had him from the best place . So I have wanted a golden for years but kept putting it off because we are due to move soon and the garden will be a lot bigger also I'm going to give up some work so will be home a lot more . I was in freeadds because we were getting a cat and I was looking at all the cats when I decided to just have a nose at the goldens . All 3 and a half grand so was just looking 😂 but the 1st post that came up was 5 pups all for 1.500 ! Phoned my partner to discuss it waited a week and then decided to get him . Well when we got there I was in shock . The women took us to a bark walked in and just brought him out of a stable . He was smelly and stinking . The mother dog was there but no dad like they said . We brought him home and relalised he couldn't walk . He was full of flea and worms and also didn't know how to eat food ! I had to hand feed him for ages . After a few days he started walking but I don't know weather he was too weak or he was just locked in the barn all his life . He's had such a shitty time x

Have you spoken to the breeder? Have any other of the litter have tummy issues? Giardia? Etc.
Puppies are HARD! I love my dogs but the puppy stage is relentless. I’m with you on it being like PND. Completely understand.

Thankyou all so much for your comments . I really didn't expect kindness . I will not be giving him up it's mad how just knowing that I am not alone has made me feel a hell of a lot better and also that better days are coming 😊 I absolutely love walks with him I take him twice a day and when I get home from work we will always go somewhere nice like the beach or countryside . I took him puppy class lastnight but he was an absolute nightmare 😂 way over excited with all the other pups and was barking constantly , plus his lipstick mad a very long appearance was was rather embarrassing 😂 x

Golden retrievers can be intolerant to chicken so avoid it if you can, allergy tests?. They are hard work. Ours is 11 months and he has been full on. We’ve just moved and he’s been very barky & I’m tired. It gets to you. He’s much more settled than he was @ 17 weeks though.

It sounds like you got the pup from someone rather dodgy and it’s clearly not well bred, socialised or trained (yet) he had a bad start and you’re now paying for that with behaviours & tummy problems - also the stomach is linked to behaviour so if he’s struggling with that it’ll have a knock on on his behaviour.

Find a good puppy class with positive trainers no negative training they are lovely sensitive dogs who are clever and love to learn. Spend time with him training him, mine is very clever and picks things up really fast.
Reward him for calmness/reward nothing so he learns that good calm behaviour gets a reward, I use kibble or just a soothing word and a long stroke along his back. There were times over puppyhood he was humping kids and doing things I didn’t want and I thought I ld made a mistake but if you put the work in you’ll have a loyal loving companion in a golden retriever. I hope things improve but if not find a golden retriever rehoming charity to find him a new home so you know he’s going somewhere safe and to people who want him, I’m sure it won’t come to that as I can tell you’ve bonded but it will get better.

Mine pops his lipstick out too
In that scenario you could walk away from class then back, or have some 1:1 with the trainer.

I scatter or hand feed my pup a lot, also enrichment is important dogs soothe themselves by sniffing, chewing and licking so good chews, (tripe sticks are my puppies fave) lucky mats/kongs etc give him down time. They also need time to process new environments and experiences good and bad so lots of sleep (18/20 hours or more if they’ve had new experiences) that’s when they process all they see and experience. Along with encouraging calm when in the house, you will get there.

Mine (WCS) pup had awful repeated diarrhoea for months and months. Because puppies often get the runs I do find vets typically send you away with the probiotics and a bland diet with a possible antibiotics injection if you are lucky.

Keep pushing because when it won't stop or just keeps coming back they need to get on top of it. I remember being exhausted and begged them once to keep him in and treat him and I must admit they then realised how bad he was.

Having a puppy is overwhelming and even more so when they are ill and you don't even get the nice cuddly bits.

I used to wish someone would magic him away but in my heart he was my responsibility and I felt guilty and missed him so much when he wasn't around. It's ok to find it overwhelming and I see you have realised how much yours is bonded to you so don't be hard on yourself and keep taking each day at the time and from experience just concentrate on getting him better over any training etc as that can come later.

I loved your description of how close you are to the puppy - he's clearly your dog not the family dog like he was meant for you 😊

I've always been ridiculous with all my dogs with affection and I never ever shout and they always have the run of the house and can do what they want, complete mummy's boys. And also worry at the slightest sign of illness. But I have also been consistent with training and strict with getting them to settle on their own right at the start. The thing is if you trust the dog and the dog trusts you then life together is a joy and they don't misbehave or try yo dominate or take over the household and even training/brushing etc is actually enjoyable because it's time spent together. Obviously there are very challenging breeds out there but those were never intended to be pets so they'd need a 'job' to feel full-filled and settled and like they fully belong. And then there are dogs with issues because of past bad experiences so that's a different approach with a lot of patience.

I didn't realise how complicated his tummy issue is. Definitely emergency vet is the thing to do today. I'm not familiar with colitis and wouldn't know what to suggest. It sounds like he had all the standard treatments from the regular vet. Perhaps try a different regular vet as well if you manage to get a slot (they are all oversubscribed nowadays). The main priority is to get this issue sorted then everything will fall into place. Will you keep us updated please?

The breeder situation sounds very odd but that's done now. They are probably not the best contact to help you right now.

Pop over to the puppy thread and you’ll see that lots of us are experiencing the same ups and downs of emotions! And lots of us have useless DHs too!