Put a deposit down on a puppy massive anxiety and 2nd thoughts

[Disco84]

I know no one has the answer but for a year we have been on a waiting list for a pup with a reputable breeder.
So 10 days ago my oh and children went to choose a pup i couldn't get time off work.

Went again today and i met the pup , it sounds selfish but i don't want it, the anxiety is eating me up inside. My children will be devastated if i dont bring it home.

I feel like running away from the whole situation as i dont want the responsibility of having to be home, nighttime wake ups.

What do i do?

Now is the easiest and possibly only opportunity you will have to get out of having the puppy. Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Why have you left it until now to think about it?

Why are you on a waiting list if you don’t want to puppy

I know that exact feeling. It’s such a daunting prospect and once the kids know puppy will be coming it’s so hard to turn back

Puppies are hard work and it can be overwhelming even if you're sure you really want one - it's never a good idea getting a pup that you don't want, it isn't fair on you or the puppy

Please dont get a puppy you dont want, they are for life, maybe 12-19 years depending on what it is, they are a huge commitment and a lot of work.
You can do things like borrowmydoggy or do volunteer walking for the cinnamon trust for the kids to learn the level of work and commitment needed. a practice before taking on what is a new family member.

If you are not 100% sure and committed better to pull out sooner than later.

Your kids are not the ones who will be caring for, training the dog for the next 12+ years. They'll get over it.

Don't get the puppy.
Puppy might have a better option if you stand aside.
Perhaps you could buy the kids something else they always wanted with the money you would have paid for the puppy. Soften the blow?

I didn't sleep for a whole night panicing after choosing our guinea pigs! But it was fine once I had got them. Do you think you really don't want it or is it a last minute panic? (I felt the same the night before my c section too - that really was too late though!)

@Mustreadabook

I didn't sleep for a whole night panicing after choosing our guinea pigs! But it was fine once I had got them. Do you think you really don't want it or is it a last minute panic? (I felt the same the night before my c section too - that really was too late though!)

A guinea pig and a puppy are worlds apart in terms of commitment and expense.

It's a very unhelpful comparison.

OP stop now.

A puppy is extremely hard work.

If you're not 100% committed then pull out.

If there was a waiting list the breeder will be able to find it another home. A good home with someone committed to the long process of training a puppy.

Pulling out now will be hard for the children but not as hard as in 3 months when they've grown to love the puppy and not just the idea of a puppy.

Don’t get the puppy. Or any other pet- you’ll be the one that has to look after it.

It is hard work @Disco84, so have an honest discussion with your OH about how you're feeling. There is nothing wrong with having 2nd thoughts, in fact it's best to hold off getting pup and examining these feelings and talking them through. It may be that you're just not in the right place now, but may be at some point in the future.

You don't say how old your kids are, but I'm sure if you are honest and explain your worries with OH and he can back you up, then you'll both be able to help your kids move on.

You’re not committed.

Please back out now before there’s yet another dog in a home that can’t manage it

Having a dog is seriously hard work & seriously restricts your lifestyle. You need to be 100% committed.

Putting down a deposit is not the same as buying.

On a waiting list you should be really excited to finally get this puppy and you're not, there's no shame in that.

Theres a waiting list, so there will be other people desperate for the puppy you don't want.

No harm done to anyone.

Don't do it! You can always make up a story to tell the kids. They'll get over it.

We've always shared the puppy dog chores so why can't your partner?

I'd say back out. Our dog is really well behaved and was textbook at training, it really was a joy. Having said that, it doesn't negate the fact that he's also a huge responsibility. He has to be walked twice daily - whatever the weather, fed, entertained. Then I need to think about daycare, if I want to go away, if he's poorly... so even with all of that, they are a massive responsibility and not one to take lightly. They become part of the family and it really is all hands on deck. You definitely need to be completely sure about it. Good luck, I hope it all goes well 🙂

My DH and DC wanted a dog. I just kept repeating no, no, no, as I knew I didn't have anything left to give anyone/thing else.

My cousin got a puppy recently and my DC are scared of it (it's the cutest, gentlest little thing!) so dog is off the wish list for now. Thankfully.

Dh is still chancing it, telling me if we get a puppy the DC will get over their fear of dogs. As if I want that 🤷

Is it that you don't want a puppy or you don't want the one your OH and children have picked from the litter?

Having a pup is a huge commitment OP, it’s really hard work even if you really want one. I can’t imagine how it would be if you didn’t! It will all fall to you, the walking, picking up, feeding, house training, don’t be fooled into thinking DH or kids will do it, as much as they say they will. Your kids will get over it, it will be much easier at this stage than facing the possibility of having to re-home later. Good luck, do what you know is right.

It’s better you say now OP, because it’s a massive commitment and you can be pretty sure sooner or later the bulk of the care will fall on you.
Puppies are 100% darn hard work for months, and although they’re also fun and heart-warming, you’ll have to be realistic that this is for the next 15 years probably.
I have a newish puppy, I have had dogs all my life but it’s still hard work at times (just as well she’s gorgeous!)

And having a puppy is far more work than you can ever imagine so whatever is giving you anxiety you can at least double that (unless you've had one before which would explain your feelings).

@DeRigueurMortis We own both guinea pigs and a puppy and (after the first month of hard work with the pup) the guinea pigs are more work! They create more mess, smell, need constant cage cleaning and my daughter spends a fortune on buying them "necessities" for their enclosure. I also can't find anyone who I would be able to ask to clean/feed them whilst we're away as they are so messy that cage needs constant cleaning. They are also extremely sensitive creatures and require a lot of TLC or they get ill. Dog is easier!

And puppies are better company!

Many people will say not go get a puppy until 1000% sure, but in my experience I was (after many years of resisting because I had a dog before) roped into getting a puppy by my daughter. I was definitely still skeptical and anxious about when we brought him home, but I couldn't pull out after I had promised it to my kid. Now, I am absolutely besotted with the pup. He is honestly like another baby of mine. I worry and care about him just as if he was a baby He is lovely and I wouldn't be without him

Xela Im amazed your guinea pigs are smellier than your dog!!! Mines a poo roller & eater so is a stinker!