Overwhelmed with guilt

[Puppyblues01]

Looking for reassurance/similar experiences. We have a 1.5 year old cocker spaniel. We recently returned from a 2 week holiday - the last time we went away last year she went to the country dog hotel - she loved it and no problems. This time they were full so I went on Rover and read all the reviews and chose a 5 star pet sitter with a big house and garden right beside a huge city park. Long story short she spent 4 nights there but I just couldn’t shake this feeling of dread when I left her there and concern with late night strange messages from the rover sitter. We finally managed to arrange our dog’s old walker, whom she loves, to go and collect her. So much relief and from all reports she has spent a happy 6 days in the second location.

Now we are back and our pup is so so weird, it’s been 2 days and she won’t eat her normal food, she doesn’t wag, she is not affectionate, she’s digging in corners and at things and just seems so so off. I feel so guilty for leaving her there when it didn’t feel right, but we were flying out in hours and I thought I was just being silly.

She is fine on walks and as we are post holiday isolating she is being walked by her normal walkers, she is super happy to see them - but just completely morose around US. Every time I look at her I feel like she is looking at me like I betrayed her to a horrible fate with the questionable rover sitter. Has anyone had a similar experience and will she ever love us again?

I have a dog of similar age, a bit older, who I have sometimes left with relatives , much adored dog walker and once a kennels, and tbh I think they are overtired when they return ...it's exhausting being in an exciting new setting and they are just re-establishing themselves in old haunts with the digging and being very very sotto.
It's like being out at a nightclub and then collapsing for next few days and appearing bleary eyed.
Soon home will be familiar and boring and she will be in search of stimulating interaction with YOU again

Thank you @Nettleskeins. When we were there doing the intro and I had to leave her, I walked back into the lady’s house from the garden and our girl was too scared to follow me so I thought it would be a good time to slip out the front door and leave so she would settle and not have the stress of seeing me close the door on her. But now I’m worried I’ve broken her trust and she thinks I’ll just leave her places. I’m so worried we’ve broken her but then she’s completely cheerful around her dog walkers. Maybe she’s picking up on my spiraling guilt and just reflecting it back at me lol

Anyway my advice to everyone is to take Rover reviews with a pinch of salt and go and visit beforehand at the very least! I probably won’t review the sitter as it seems mean to be as honest as I’d like as it’s her livelihood, but I don’t think she should be sitting pets, an inappropriate set up.

What do you think was wrong with the Rover sitter? Why did you have a bad feeling and what were the night-time messages?

I'm sure your dog will come around again after a few days. Like PP said, it's tiring being in a new environment. I don't think dogs think so deeply so as to hold any grudges!

@XelaM she had two of her own very reactive aggressive dogs and it just wasn’t a nice homely environment, felt more like kennels.

Rover is really not a good website to use in order to find a boarding facility.

Anyone can sign up to Rover - they don't do any checks on your credentials whatsoever - it's just a website where people can offer their services, basically. Was this person even licensed to provide home boarding? Did she have any kind of insurance? What about qualifications?

People who offer daycare or boarding in their homes MUST be licensed and inspected by the council. To get a license, they must fulfil a long list of criteria including qualifications in pet first aid and canine body language. They also can't get a license without insurance.

I'm sorry your girl had a bad experience but this is why I would IMPLORE people to do their research before leaving their pets with a stranger.

When you say she doesn't wag her tail is that just with you? or her walkers too. We only left our dog once in kennels. He would never of soiled his kennel and because he didn't have anyone to let him out when he needed to go, only when they were ready to let him out. His anal glands became very full and infected. The only way we knew was he stopped wagging his tail and he was a very waggy dog. We popped him to the vet who said it was common in dogs in kennels. We felt awful and never used kennels again.