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Desperate for a dog - advice please

36 replies

Dollygirl2008 · 24/07/2021 23:33

I am literally desperate for a dog. I grew up with dogs and have wanted one since I left home but have never been able to due to work commitments. I've now got a new job very local and would only be going into the office once or twice a week.

I'm just being honest here as I need someone to tell whether they think it's possible. My mum made it look so easy. I know it's not. I know they're a tie - a big one. It's just my DD and I. How could I make this work? I would only want a small dog - what breeds would you recommend? I'm hoping to either take the dog with me to work or to have a dog Walker once a week.

I know everyone has to begin somewhere, but where do I begin?!

OP posts:
AlCalavicci · 25/07/2021 03:29

I would say begin by looking at the cost ;

Insurance
vaccinations
neutering
bed
Collar (small to start with then at least one more bigger one as they grow for bed and collar)
Lead
Toys
Puppy classes
Dog walker
Bowls
Good quality wet and dry food
treats
grooming kits
Boarding kennels / dog sitter
extra cost to take it on holiday with you
Total cost ???

Add all this up , add around 10% to make up for any short falls , can you realistically afford it ?
If your answer is yes i can if I don't go out as often / stop having take always etc then no you cant afford it.
you need to have however much the total cost is as disposable income every single month. Are you sure you can afford it ?

Then and only then should you start to consider what kind of dog you want .
Please Please get a rescue , dont go to puppy breeders.
If you let us all know what kind of dog you want and roughly where you live I am sure the collective MN hive mind can point you to a rescue please

PinniGig · 25/07/2021 06:54

@Dollygirl2008

I am literally desperate for a dog. I grew up with dogs and have wanted one since I left home but have never been able to due to work commitments. I've now got a new job very local and would only be going into the office once or twice a week.

I'm just being honest here as I need someone to tell whether they think it's possible. My mum made it look so easy. I know it's not. I know they're a tie - a big one. It's just my DD and I. How could I make this work? I would only want a small dog - what breeds would you recommend? I'm hoping to either take the dog with me to work or to have a dog Walker once a week.

I know everyone has to begin somewhere, but where do I begin?!

Imagine your work circumstances change and you are back to being out of the house and in the office full time Mon-Fri.

Could you reasonably or realistically afford a regular walker every day or for something like doggy day care each day?

You'd be hard pressed but lucky if you can find a job that will allow you to take the dog to work because not everyone is dog friendly, not many employers and workplaces want the aggro and possible issues that can come with it and very, very few people would be on board mostly because the rule would have to be for all and then you had a nightmare of an office full of dogs, everyone falling out cos of everyone's else's dogs and the grief and headache that it would bring just isn't worth it not even for lifelong dog lovers.

You need to plan for the worst case scenario, imagine if you have to return to full time work or manage on just one salary in case of short-term, temporary changes and make sure every nightmare doom, gloom and possible bad side to figure out for sure if you still have the realistic means, money and resources to ensure any dog isn't going to suffer in the fallout and be left at home alone all day.

I get where you're coming from and how hard it is when you've always had dogs, desperately miss them and wish like mad you had one but fair play to you for being open to it not being the best idea and asking for impartial thoughts from others.

One option you could look into is being a boarder / holiday home for dogs whose owners are away and need a temporary dog friendly home for their pets to stay with whilst they're gone. It gives you the chance to get your dog fix but without the full time long term commitments. That said it can come with risk and there are some dog holiday boarding people that don't do things how they should but you could still look at offering privately in local sites and ads.

You can offer up your home to dogs and choose who, when and what dog comes to stay based around what works for you, tie it in with things like annual leave you have booked off and it gives you the freedom and choice. Would still need to arrange for things like insurance or do a bit of paperwork to cover the basics and make sure everyone is on the same page and understands the basics of what you can and can't do etc but once that's set up and established you have the freedom to enjoy having a dog come to stay and earn some extra pennies as well.

Dogs are even harder than kids in many respects. You can get people to look after young kids, take them to shops, restaurants and go more or less anywhere with kids but you're limited with dogs.

We have border collies, foster short-term temporary placements for a rescue to help gets dogs trained, boost confidence and get them prepped and ready for when they move into their permanent new home and I love it despite it being a full time job. That's a luxury and a privilege cos I'm at home all day ever day, our kids are both adults (living at home whilst they finish uni but at home in case I need to be somewhere or we want to go away) and we have the time, space, spends and experience to do it.

House is a constant shit tip between toys, muddy paw prints, shake splatters, dog hair tumble-weed and them going straight in head first at the river and the smallest tiniest puddle they can find. It would not do for someone that keeps an immaculate house and if my husband were one that liked to come home to a nice tidy home and not fall over daft giddy dogs greeting him at the door and if we weren't on exactly the same page – it would be hard to manage and we wouldn't have mental ass border collies in the first place.

I'd suggest breeds and dogs that might be suitable in terms of not needing as much time, effort and exercise but honestly, you still need to have daily provision in the form of a walker or day care every day regardless.

First thing that's worth looking at is the home holiday boarding places you could register interest with or see if there are any local dog owners looking for local trusted homes.

Can't vouch for any of these but including links to a few.

www.holidays4dogs.co.uk

www.barkingmad.uk.com

www.borrowmydoggy.com

I do get where you're coming from. My daughter (now 23 and moved out) desperately misses not having our dogs around but says when she's feeling a bit down and sorry for herself, she watches clips or her favourite border collie videos on YouTube, gets teary for a moment then remembers it is a full time job with no day off.

Tiddleztheelephant · 25/07/2021 07:01

Don't get a puppy, get an adult rescue from a reputable rescue. Don't look around the rescue for the cutest, talk to them about your set up and which dog they recommend. Take training classes from the rescue if offered. If not, source your own.
I did this with my dog from the dog's trust. They were very supportive and everything went very smoothly. Would highly recommend them.

Frenchfancy · 25/07/2021 07:01

I think MN sometimes over states the cost and the tie of having a dog, especially if you are looking at a small dog.

If you have enough money to pay for vaccinations, insurance and food you should be fine. If you have a garden a small dog is not a full time job.

Go and talk to your local rescue, they should be able to say if your home and lifestyle is acceptable.

PinniGig · 25/07/2021 07:05

@Dollygirl2008

I am literally desperate for a dog. I grew up with dogs and have wanted one since I left home but have never been able to due to work commitments. I've now got a new job very local and would only be going into the office once or twice a week.

I'm just being honest here as I need someone to tell whether they think it's possible. My mum made it look so easy. I know it's not. I know they're a tie - a big one. It's just my DD and I. How could I make this work? I would only want a small dog - what breeds would you recommend? I'm hoping to either take the dog with me to work or to have a dog Walker once a week.

I know everyone has to begin somewhere, but where do I begin?!

Sorry just re-read your OP - did you say or mean it's just you and your child or you and a partner? If you're a single parent with a small child and have work arrangements a bit up in the air then I definitely would suggest considering the home holiday boarding option first.

Even an older responsible child can't be factored in and expected to bear the brunt and responsbility for day to day care which I know sounds harsh and I'm not suggesting means they're not fit to do it - what I mean is it's not fair or reasonable to expect them to do it so you still need to plan for all eventualities without them being part and parcel.

Dollygirl2008 · 25/07/2021 07:43

Thank you for the incredibly helpful, detailed and informative posts. Really is a lot to think about and consider and some great alternatives that I'm going to look into. It does make me realise how much work my mum must have out in behind the scenes and we had boxers and Doberman's!

Interesting Frenchfancy! If I'm honest, that's what I've been thinking - small dog, small costs and less all round hassle, but I just wondered if that's our in the sky stuff! I just don't want to make a big mistake!

DD is 13 and whilst fairly responsible, we al know the reality! Her dad has offered to look after the dog if I go away or if go out for the day when my daughter is with him.

So lots to think about!

OP posts:
PinniGig · 25/07/2021 07:48

@Frenchfancy

I think MN sometimes over states the cost and the tie of having a dog, especially if you are looking at a small dog.

If you have enough money to pay for vaccinations, insurance and food you should be fine. If you have a garden a small dog is not a full time job.

Go and talk to your local rescue, they should be able to say if your home and lifestyle is acceptable.

I respectfully but completely disagree with you on this one. All dogs regardless of breed, size and general exercise needs and energy need to have suitable time, companionship and effort put in it's not enough to just think they need only the bare ass minimum in terms of vaccinations, flea / worming treatment and food.

They need companionship and dogs left alone all day with owners that come home and think opening the back door and letting them roam around for a bit in the garden equates to more than enough time and effort is why so many dogs end up in the same rescue centres or worst still, just live out their lives bored shitless and alone at home all day waiting for their owner to get back and spend all of five minutes with them before they go out to roam and amuse themselves in a secure garden.

The cost of even basic essentials is still considerable but for the most part my concern is more with owners that have the time, means and are willing to give them more than just the basics.

If someone can't be arsed and wants to just have a secure garden be their solution why get a dog? Get a companion pony, an outdoor cat or other pet that can live outside quite happy with minimal input.

BarkingUpTheWrongRoseBush · 25/07/2021 07:48

Dogs aren’t that hard. It really helps if you have someone to look after dog if you are away or going somewhere non dog friendly.

We use my in laws, they are happy to have her for the day, or early evening and drop her home if we are going out late.

They can’t be left on their own all day, but can be left. Ours sleeps a lot.

They are a tie. But the sheer joy of them is worth it.

Puppies are quite hard work if you are working full time. It’s not impossible though. Think about a rehomed dog. They don’t all have issues.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 25/07/2021 08:43

The cost of even basic essentials is still considerable but for the most part my concern is more with owners that have the time, means and are willing to give them more than just the basics.
Yep. I think MN can overstate the financial cost of dog ownership, but after water, a half-decent diet and somewhere cosy to sleep, what dogs need is human companionship. I can leave my dogs for extended periods, but they get a lot of input.

So one of the big big things to consider is how much time you could regularly give a dog on a normal working day. An hour for exercise is not unreasonable.

LivingLaVidaCovid · 25/07/2021 09:12

YY to a rescue... so much easier than a puppy.
Our yorkie costs very little beyond insurance. We buy fancy food and top up with a bit of tuna or meat but she eats 200cal per day so its not a lot.
She needed Lead, collar, a coat and a few jumpers. Groomers x2 per year.

Our dog has both of us at home so has the life of riley at the minute but she does need focus time.
We are both going to back three days in the office from october so aiming to alternate days.

We play with her for at least 30 mins per day and she gets an hour of sniffing and pootling about on a walk minimum per day.
My mother lives close by and is retired we look after each others dogs regularly and she will be our dog sitter when we are back in the office.

It would be expensive and complicated if we needed a dog sitter.

You also cant "take a dog everywhere" and it can be tricky at times.

PinniGig · 25/07/2021 09:23

@GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman

One of the most vile things I ever saw someone do was stand and try forcibly taking a homeless guy's staffie on the grounds he wasn't fit to have a dog and couldn't look after it and meet its needs. Really horrible, unpleasant righteous little fuckers with the balls to suggest they were better equipped and more suitable than he when that dog was the most well fed and on the verge of being a fat loaf of bread, was in tip top nick, his coat and eyes shiny and bright and he was kitted out in a high viz waterproof jacket, slept on a comfy roll out piece of foam matting underneath a large umbrella and wanted for nothing because he was constantly with and alongside the guy that adopted him and found that dog was his motivation for getting off drugs.

He worried and was more concerned with making sure the dog always had a meal, was warm, sheltered and it kept him off drugs and on the straight and narrow because if he lapsed and let himself slip back just one, there was the risk of his beloved dog and best mate going without or coming to grief whilst he was sparked out unconscious. Homeless guy even had a card and contact for emergency out of hours vets in the city centre he could go to in case the dog became unwell or had an accident. He took better care of that fat little staffie than most manage in a lifetime.

They left him alone but I played holy shit and pointed out how a dog's most crucial and most basic needs are food, water, shelter and companionship. They are pack animals and their need for companionship and social structure is where most people fall short by a country mile.

People may well live in large houses with enormous secure back gardens and a chip on their shoulder and in their effort to feel righteous they overlook the fourth most essential and commonly neglected needs of a dog by thinking he'll be happy sleeping on an expensive sofa or roaming a nice lovely well tended garden.

Dogs don't give a shit they just want to be with us, feel secure and have the companionship which would see most prefer to live rough with a homeless person that loves them to death than with owners that can't or won't take more than ten mins out of their day to spend with them.

How dare anyone think they have the right to take someone's dog when it's happy and well looked after and actually given more than the average family pet will be.

Wankers Angry Angry

Really liked that little Staffie though he was a big old thicc boi and just the nicest natured, sweet little fella I bet could find a crumb in the desert after he developed his keen nose for discarded chips and pizza boxes Grin

AlCalavicci · 25/07/2021 16:53

@PinniGig
I whole heartedly agree with you !

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 25/07/2021 17:07

Get one of these. You barely notice he's here. As in not dirty inside, doesn't shed and can be picked up if needed! And he is amazing and has improved our lives 100%

Desperate for a dog - advice please
magicstar1 · 25/07/2021 17:26

@PinniGig I'm so glad they let him keep his dog. I remember reading somewhere that dogs belonging to homeless people are often the best treated of all.

I agree with the companionship too. Our girl is a rescue and has reactivity issues etc. but all she wants is to be with us. If I'm in the kitchen she'll lie on a rug watching me, or right now, she's outside watching DH clean the car. As long as she's nearby she's happy. We have though, made a point of leaving her alone for a few hours every now and again so she's not upset by it, and she's great. Potters and sleeps then is sooo happy we're home.

Christmasfairy2020 · 25/07/2021 17:35

Get one of them large pedigree cats that looks like a dog

thistimelastweek · 25/07/2021 17:41

@Dontfuckingsaycheese Snap, almost...

Desperate for a dog - advice please
Suzi888 · 25/07/2021 18:39

Our JRT and poodle were a lot easier than my lab in terms of costs and exercise. However the JRT became quite aggressive in old age, I was older then so just kept my face away from the little savage…
My lab averages £150 a month on food and medication alone, he’s ten. Insurance was £60 a month. His grooms are £30 a month.
Our other dogs ate pedigree chum and were fine, odd vet visit, teeth clean.
Massive tie, can only be left alone five hours maximum. Our smaller dogs had awful separation anxiety, if you plan to leave them do it from the start and build up slowly.
They are so rewarding and great company, but you have to put the work in.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 25/07/2021 18:52

@thistimelastweek ❤️❤️❤️

PinniGig · 25/07/2021 18:59

[quote magicstar1]@PinniGig I'm so glad they let him keep his dog. I remember reading somewhere that dogs belonging to homeless people are often the best treated of all.

I agree with the companionship too. Our girl is a rescue and has reactivity issues etc. but all she wants is to be with us. If I'm in the kitchen she'll lie on a rug watching me, or right now, she's outside watching DH clean the car. As long as she's nearby she's happy. We have though, made a point of leaving her alone for a few hours every now and again so she's not upset by it, and she's great. Potters and sleeps then is sooo happy we're home.[/quote]
I have one like that too! Came to us at just a year old from a farm where he'd lived outside in cramped confine kennels all his life and the stress and excessive confinement meant he developed compulsive circling and frontal leg deformity because of the lack of use they got as he grew. Just bounced off his back legs and touched the wire mesh at the front to spin around so he had no strength or muscle tone at all kept splaying out flat on his face at first.

Never stepped foot inside a house or car, never knew or had even seen toys and ran away when we threw a tennis ball in a side paddock - had no idea what the hell that thing was or what to make of it. Settled in straight away and from that day to this he's my shadow and wherever he is you'll find me and vice versa.

Happy little soul but God was he not made for life as a working sheepdog he's like a bumbling daft retriver trapped inside the body of a little black and white collie.

Pic of his kennel when we first met him, his first car ride home and his first night when he decided this life was miles better than that other marlarkey and he perfected the art of an upside full collie sprawl.

magicstar1 · 25/07/2021 19:31

Awww he’s lovely. Sounds like he’s settled in perfectly!
Our girl was the same…her back legs are cowhocked from being cooped up, she was practically bald on her chest and sides and had never had a ball or toy. We pay €140 per month just on skin medication but she’s worth it.
This is her after one month, and after 9 months

Desperate for a dog - advice please
icedcoffees · 25/07/2021 19:43

I work with dogs and my experience tells that the VAST majority of first-time puppy owners completely underestimate how much work is involved in their care.

Even small dogs need a fair bit of input - as well as food, flea/worming costs and insurance, you need to factor in the cost of grooming, a dog walker or daycare (which costs the same whether you have a dachshund or a Great Dane), kennels if you want to go on holiday without the dog etc.

I would also not rely on an ex or a 13yo to step-up and do any of the day-to-day drudgery of dog ownership. The walks in the pissing down rain when you're exhausted or sick. Cleaning up liquid shit or vomit at 2am because your dog is unwell and didn't make it outside in time. You need to be prepared to do it all yourself, or pay for someone else to do it for you.

For example, if your ex is going to have him while you're away, who will look after the dog during the day while your ex is working? Daycare will cost you £25 a day as a minimum and the cheaper option of a dog walker once a day won't be enough for a puppy.

However, that's not to say it's impossible, but don't underestimate the amount of work that's involved. Walks every single day, vet visits, groomers, cleaning up accidents, coming home straight from work because of the dog, not going on days out because of the dog etc.

Dollygirl2008 · 25/07/2021 22:42

@Dontfuckingsaycheese

Get one of these. You barely notice he's here. As in not dirty inside, doesn't shed and can be picked up if needed! And he is amazing and has improved our lives 100%
Just gorgeous and he:she would be perfect! What breed is this?
OP posts:
Dontfuckingsaycheese · 30/07/2021 17:11

I'm so sorry @Dollygirl2008. I missed your update. We're not 100% as he was a rescue. Could be all Jack Russell or could have a bit of possibly Yorkie! Whatever he is be is wonderful! He's about as big as a cat. Can be a bit yappie and does have resource guarding issues which I put down to him living on the streets. But he is a little star ❤️

DoggyFan · 31/07/2021 13:31

I'm not being helpful, just saying:

Desperate for a dog - advice please
curlyLJ · 31/07/2021 13:46

We are getting a little rescue dog soon, all home-checks complete. She is coming to us in September Smile

I must admit, I have deliberated over it for months, but I think the benefits will outweigh anything else and my 2 DDs are SO excited!

There are plenty of rescues available if you know where to look. I know of a good place if you are in the Essex area..

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