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How to fix this neighbourly dispute

14 replies

rainbowfairylights · 19/07/2021 20:41

I'm at my wits end.

We (my partner, cats + dogs) live in a rented cottage on a farm. Our only neighbours rent another cottage plus the field right next to our garden. Our dogs (I've posted about them before) are both rescues and both bark at people they don't know. The minute they bark we get them in so that they associate barking at people with no more playing outside. We're also beginning to work with a behaviourist from August - I wish it was sooner but we live in a very rural area and she's the only one who can travel to us.

Anyway our neighbours have been really not understanding of this at all and whilst the dogs are completely our responsibility etc it is exhausting. She can see we're trying, we're out the second they bark if they do, we always always always get them in, yet she shouts at us every single time. She's also made a point of going out after 7pm, which she knows is exactly when our dogs go out after dinner, and just... standing in the field, at our fence, doing nothing apart from staring. Sometimes she doesn't even have her dogs with her - when she has them with her I'm more understanding, although they do have a huge garden of their own not within eyeshot of ours, plus another field also not within eyeshot of our garden.

It came to a head this evening when she filmed my partner when she went out to get the dogs in, because they were barking. She also said that she'd let her dogs eat our cats Sad. As well as this, she said that we are awful owners because we don't walk our dogs, which frustrates me no end because we do walk one of them, but we can't walk the other because she's absolutely terrified of going outside the garden (there's a previous thread about this). She knows this and yet she came at us with that which is really upsetting.

I don't know what to do. The dogs are 100% our responsibility, and it is up to us to get them not barking, I know this. But I don't know how to fix this, especially when we're doing everything we can. Is there anything we can do to make amends?

OP posts:
warmfluffytowels · 19/07/2021 20:43

You need to stop leaving the dogs out unattended. Leaving it until they've started barking is too late, I'm afraid.

I do sympathise as it's really difficult.

rainbowfairylights · 19/07/2021 20:48

@warmfluffytowels They're not out unattended. They bark regardless of if we're there or not. So that doesn't really fix things sadly.

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warmfluffytowels · 19/07/2021 20:49

Can you have them on leads so they can be brought in immediately?

rainbowfairylights · 19/07/2021 20:49

@warmfluffytowels the only time we risk it is after 7pm, and that's rare - today was one of the first times in a while they've been left out alone and it was a tricky situation. Generally though no they have someone with them.

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rainbowfairylights · 19/07/2021 20:50

@warmfluffytowels one dog yes that would work but she's the one that barks the least anyway and is the easiest to get in. Other dog (the one that isn't ready for walks yet) no, she's absolutely terrified of leads.

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warmfluffytowels · 19/07/2021 20:52

Ah okay, I get it now :)

That's really tough :( Is it possible to proof your garden so they can't see in or out? Even if you just use sheets or tarpaulin temporarily?

I'm sorry you're going through this btw :( it sounds horrible.

rainbowfairylights · 19/07/2021 20:55

@warmfluffytowels Yes possibly. The fence on the field side is see-through so they can see everything. The fence on the other side where our landlord keeps her sheep isn't see-through and although the sheep are LOUD, the dogs don't seem to mind as much. Then again though that might be because they're sheep and not humans! But this could well be the answer. I think it boils down to our landlord being okay with it. No harm in asking though.

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Direstraitsmates · 19/07/2021 22:28

She stands looking into your garden whilst your dog bark at her. That's a dick move on her part. You could use it to your advantage and feed them treats when she is there so they associate her with good things. Even better if you can do it when they are silent for a moment.

rainbowfairylights · 19/07/2021 22:35

@Direstraitsmates

She stands looking into your garden whilst your dog bark at her. That's a dick move on her part. You could use it to your advantage and feed them treats when she is there so they associate her with good things. Even better if you can do it when they are silent for a moment.
Yes, at one point the dogs were inside (not barking) and then suddenly went to the door (we have big glass doors in our living room) and started barking, we looked out to see what the fuss was about and the male neighbour was staring into our house Sad. That really freaked us out actually.

They're never silent when the neighbours are out unfortunately so I'm not sure if that would work. Gah this is so stressful!

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Direstraitsmates · 20/07/2021 00:07

Any dog would bark at that. You should start filming them standing at the end of your garden looking in. They may want to show people their videos of your barking dogs but if you have films of them agitating the dogs it won't look as bad. It may also stop them standing there.

I'd be very annoyed by this as it is going to be hard to get your dogs to stop barking at any neighbours now they have learned the behaviour.
If you rent it is not worth getting anxious about. You can always move if you have to. I would move even though I suspect they are doing this to try to intimidate you into moving.

rainbowfairylights · 20/07/2021 00:40

We ended up emailing our landlord because I couldn't stop thinking about the filming and the staring into our window and the threats about the cats... and I've just been told that our neighbours are actually moving out in two weeks!!! SO relieved.

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rainbowfairylights · 20/07/2021 00:42

@Direstraitsmates

Any dog would bark at that. You should start filming them standing at the end of your garden looking in. They may want to show people their videos of your barking dogs but if you have films of them agitating the dogs it won't look as bad. It may also stop them standing there. I'd be very annoyed by this as it is going to be hard to get your dogs to stop barking at any neighbours now they have learned the behaviour. If you rent it is not worth getting anxious about. You can always move if you have to. I would move even though I suspect they are doing this to try to intimidate you into moving.
Haha that is a great idea. And yes they've really made the whole barking issue worse with their ridiculous behaviour.

We can't really move as we have a brilliant deal for the space we have and we wouldn't find anything else like this. Not being in a residential area is perfect rehab for our very scared rescue girl and we can't move somewhere more busy until she's ready sadly.

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rainbowfairylights · 20/07/2021 00:51

Oh did I mention this is all totally hypocritical on their part because if we are in the garden without dogs when they come out to the field, their dogs bark at us Grin. The difference is that we are not idiots and understand that dogs sometimes bark!

OP posts:
Direstraitsmates · 20/07/2021 21:35

Happy days! Your problem will be fixed in 2 weeks.

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