I think my DH might finally be starting to understand

[Powertothepetal]

I’ve been saying for a while now I have decided I don’t want another dog.
DH hasnt believed me as I’ve always been dog obsessed and wanting multiple dogs but I’ve had enough of other people’s dogs now.

DH came on a walk with me today, first walk and less than 10 minutes in, a loose dog comes running over growling to our (leashed) dog.

I have to do my usual constant spinning around changing direction to stop the dogs interacting whilst the owner made no attempt whatsoever to recall their dog, despite it being blatently obvious I was desperately trying to get away.

In the end I asked to please call the dog away as mine doesn’t like other dogs and get the usual - first oh it’s just friendly then I get the aggressive you should socialise/train your dog properly.

DH has met the owner many times before, often fussed over their dog and was really shocked, kept repeating he never expected them to behave like that.

They pretty much all behave like that.

I think until today when he saw it with his own eyes he hasn’t really believed me when I’ve tried to tell him just how stressful having a dog actually is for me.

Leashed dogs going for mine as we walk past and loose dogs harrassing us, sometimes aggressively while the owners do nothing or get aggressive themselves is a depressingly regular occurrence.

Could you change where you walk as I find some places have a much higher % of idiot owners than others , sometimes it even varies with time of day. While not always most convenient it does make the walks much more relaxing and enjoyable. Its frustrating as these 'friendly' dogs that are left to charge over, can create reactivity issues in their victims who then appear the bad guys

Would it be worth getting one of those neon leads that say unfriendly or reactive or something? Also before an off lead dog gets to yours shout to the owner that your dog is not friendly.

That's odd - your husband has a completely different experience with those dogs than you do? Does he have your dog with him when he's met these dogs before? I'm thinking there must be something in your body language that inflames the situation - your dog will pick up on your stress and behaviour too. It sounds as though you get quite flustered and actually intend to convey this so the other owners react in a certain way?

I'm also wondering if they can pick up how stressed you are. Its surely unusual for every dog you encounter to behave like that. We come across multiple dogs on walks every day and they pretty much all just want a friendly sniff of each other

OP I hear you and do not blame your body language!

Could you change where you walk
I do vary it a lot, a lot of dogs just plain don’t like my dog unfortunately and those that do and run up and harass (with friendly intentions) are met with growling and snarling if I let them interact as mine is very nervous of other dogs.

Would it be worth getting one of those neon leads that say unfriendly or reactive or something?
Have considered this.
I don’t want people to think she is dangerous though.

Also before an off lead dog gets to yours shout to the owner that your dog is not friendly
They don’t care, I said that to the owner today (after it was crystal clear we were trying to get away!) just to be told their dog is friendly and I should socialise/train mine better
Infuriating!

your husband has a completely different experience with those dogs than you do? Does he have your dog with him when he's met these dogs before?
DH never walks our dog, only me.
When he has met the dog that ran over this morning he has been on his or with the children.

Its surely unusual for every dog you encounter to behave like that
It’s not every dog but it’s rare on a long walk that we don’t come across an aggressive or out of control dog.
It’s unbelievably wearing.
Our dog is extremely nervous of dogs she doesn’t know and I think other dogs pick up on it.

We have a neon lead slip thing that says "Anxious Dog. Please give me space"
If people want to think she is dangerous then they can. She isn't. She just doesn't like dogs with no manners rushing up to her.
I disagree with the PP saying your dog is picking up on how stressed you are. Yes, there is possibly an element of this but the issue here is with badly trained dogs off lead approaching a dog on a lead without permission.
I walk my dog early morning and late evening to avoid this or go places where it is 100% on lead only.
Please remember that while your dog is on a lead, you are the one in control and being a responsible dog owner. If someone has a dog with no recall - that's their problem.
I'm with you, this is absolutely my experience of dog walking too but I focus on us. I carry a treat pouch and have had a small amount of success throwing treats for the other dog so we can escape.
My dog is a 35kg bull breed so "dangerous" looking but due to a terrible first few years before we adopted her she is terrified of everything.

Mine is nervous and I have a yellow 'NERVOUS GIVE SPACE' lead slip and it actually helps quite a bit. I try to go quiet places as much as possible but if we see another dog I am not above yelling 'please get your dog!' as mine WILL growl at unknown dogs (she's fine with ones she knows). And they get short shrift if they say 'he just wants to play/be friendly' ..mine doesn't and isn't..and if we are off in fields I carry a long line and have her on it at the hint of another person/dog.

I know someone with a dog reactive dog and they have one of those yellow leads with nervous written in big black letters all the way down it.

It pretty much gets ignored by the sort of people who will allow their dog - either on or off lead - to run up to my friend's dog.

I know exactly what you mean OP.

My dog isn't nervous but isn't particularly interested in other dogs and just wants to do her own thing.

Almost every time we go for a walk there seems to be someone around with a dog that are not in control of and will allow to run up to my dog and leap at her.

It's extremely annoying so I can imagine how wearing it must get when you have a nervous dog.

PigsDOfly
It's a nightmare.
I am working very hard with my nervous and sometimes reactive dog, to help her feel calm and confident. We avoid other dogs as much as we can, we practice positive behaviour management. I plan my dog walks with military precision to give her the best chance of a happy relaxed time...

and then some numpty who can see my dog a) has a big sign saying nervous b) is either on a lead or being clipped on (if in a remote field), lets their dog just run up..and get cross with me if MY dog growls at theirs!
Oh and as mine is a bigger breed...*obviously she is at fault.Not their bloody JRT or cockerdoodlepoo who is pestering mine!

StillMedusa

My friends have had their dog for about 4 years now - I think he was about 2 years old when they got him as a rescue - and although they have done wonders with him, he's a lovely calm dog now apart from when another dog gets in his face, they still have to keep him on a lead when out and about.

It seems that it is something that will always be with him.

They do however, sometimes hire a secure field for him - costs about £5 an hour - which gives him some lovely off lead time.

Don't know if that's something you've considered for your girl.

From my own experience, I see well behaved/controlled dogs more often than I see ones with poor recall and/or manners. But what I have noticed is that the dogs that make a pain of themselves almost always have owners that are rude and ignorant.

Very occasionally, the pesky dog's owner apologises which smooths the way and we pass pleansantries before walking on. But more often the badly behaved dog is being walked by someone who is rude or patronising or just plain disinterested. Which just make the whole experience even more stressful if you're trying to have a peaceful walk. I feel for you, OP.

Personally I've found the worse thing you can do is stop when another dog is approaching yours. Keep moving and your dog is less likely to react. If they do happen to interact , I find a tennis racket is a good thing to carry to stick in between them.