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If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Scared dog

19 replies

rainbowfairylights · 16/07/2021 00:14

We have a rescue dog who is scared of going outside of the garden, going on walks, in the car... anything. We desperately need to get her out of this rut and work with her on this. We are beginning to work with a trainer but I was wondering if anyone else had any pearls of wisdom? She is also terrified of people and was very badly treated before we adopted her. She is just over a year old and we adopted her in March. Anything we can take on-board before we start working with a trainer next month? Thanks.

OP posts:
Direstraitsmates · 16/07/2021 00:22

I would take it really slowly with her. Try to build up her confidence with me before taking her out. I wouldn't even try to take her out of the garden. I'd go for plenty of games in the garden and try to get her happy there first.

rainbowfairylights · 16/07/2021 00:32

@Direstraitsmates

I would take it really slowly with her. Try to build up her confidence with me before taking her out. I wouldn't even try to take her out of the garden. I'd go for plenty of games in the garden and try to get her happy there first.
Thanks! She already adores the garden thankfully, we have doors that open right into the garden and she's out there all the time with our other dog, so we're passed that step I think :D She won't go near the gate though.
OP posts:
Happenchance · 16/07/2021 11:15

Has the rescue given you any advice? Do they have a behaviourist who can advise you? It sounds as though you need a behaviourist not a trainer. Do you know what techniques the trainer uses? I would run a mile from anyone who uses flooding.

It would be useful to read about trigger stacking (if you haven’t already) because it is something that you need to be mindful of. I would avoid trying to set goals or put any pressure on her. You need to go at her pace, and you'll find that there will be days when she takes one step forward then appears to take 10 steps back the next day. I would ensure that I give her days off from the things that she finds scary. It's tempting if she's had a good day on Monday, e.g., walked to the first lamppost past your house, to try and do more on Tuesday, e.g., encourage her to walk to the second lamppost, when in actual fact she may be keener to walk to the second lamppost on Wednesday if you give her the day off on Tuesday and just spend time relaxing in the garden.

rainbowfairylights · 16/07/2021 13:20

@Happenchance

Has the rescue given you any advice? Do they have a behaviourist who can advise you? It sounds as though you need a behaviourist not a trainer. Do you know what techniques the trainer uses? I would run a mile from anyone who uses flooding.

It would be useful to read about trigger stacking (if you haven’t already) because it is something that you need to be mindful of. I would avoid trying to set goals or put any pressure on her. You need to go at her pace, and you'll find that there will be days when she takes one step forward then appears to take 10 steps back the next day. I would ensure that I give her days off from the things that she finds scary. It's tempting if she's had a good day on Monday, e.g., walked to the first lamppost past your house, to try and do more on Tuesday, e.g., encourage her to walk to the second lamppost, when in actual fact she may be keener to walk to the second lamppost on Wednesday if you give her the day off on Tuesday and just spend time relaxing in the garden.

It's a bit more complicated than that sadly :( Her original rescue were in Bulgaria and a very inexperienced family adopted her. They forced her on the lead and forced her around lots of people all the time and it traumatized her even more. So her adopted family brought her to a vets to have her put down and the nurse rescued her instead, and that's how we have her.

Sorry, I meant we're going to be working with a behaviourist not a trainer. This is from August as she's quite booked up and there are not many options as we're quite rural and our dog won't get in the car so it needs to be someone who can travel to us. What's flooding?

Thanks, I'll give trigger stacking a read. This is really helpful, thank you. I think our main worry right now isn't getting her out on walks or being able to travel - we don't want to rush the poor thing - our biggest worry is being able to get her to the vets in an emergency. The people we adopted her from used to put her in a crate and carry it to the car but 1. she is a big dog and we are not strong enough to do that and 2. I can imagine from her perspective that would be very traumatising!

I should say that we have another dog who she adores and when we're tried to work on this in the past she's responded best when our other dog is there. Our dog-walker has also been helping a little (bless her), as she has a dog quite similar to our dog and our dog LOVES her dog, so she'll happily trot out the gate to say hello to her!

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 16/07/2021 13:27

My rescue boy was/is a right scaredy cat! He was terrible about most things when I got him, and really time and patience are what worked. I worked with a trainer and behaviourist for a while in the early days and that was really helpful too. Sometimes he regresses too and becomes scared of something again that was fine for a while. I am just really patient with him and don’t get stressed, so hopefully he sees me calm and calms down a bit himself. So worth it so see them flourish - I wish you joy with your lovely dog

PinniGig · 17/07/2021 05:45

Poor little lass. Every single dog is different and has its own unique personality, traits and behaviour shaped by its initial start to life so for that reason it's impossible to give anything specific to your dog. From a general standpoint however and based on my own experience with very anxious, fearful dogs I'll offer a few pointers.

It's not at all uncommon for rescue dogs to suddenly decide they don't want to leave a person, the house or go beyond the garden / immediate vicinity mainly because they'll have settled in to their new home and latched on to the place or person they feel most secure and safe with if you will. That's a good thing because it means you've established a relationship to the point they trust you and feel safe and more at ease around you but it's also sometimes a really key and crucial point where they can go one way or another.

It's understandable owners want to do everything to keep the dogs getting more anxious by giving as much reassurance and comfort as they can but it often does more harm than good.

My advice is to take small steps by for example taking her out on a literal one or two minute walk with the other dog to help encourage her outside and let her watch and learn from example.

Putting her on a lead to take the small walks is crucial to keep her bolting. If she stops, plants her feet or starts to struggle or whine, a single firm but gentle word of reassurance and tapping on your leg “Hey hey it's OK come here” and then say nothing else. I don't turn back and head for home whilst a dog is still in fretting mode because it just teaches them the easiest, quickest way to get back is to create and kick up a fuss. Once they're following and walking alongside without too much whining or fretting, I turn round, maybe give one “Yeee good girl c'mon let's go back this way” and head for home.

Getting her favourite toy or whatever else she loves and throwing that into the mix will help her to form a new association with the environment. For example we had one who was absolutely petrified of going in the car but obsessed with tennis balls. I left both back doors of the car wide open, popped a tennis ball on the seat then pottered around like I wasn't looking. His curiosity and need to get hold of the ball made him sniff and mooch closer until he was hopping straight up into the back. Then I opened the front doors, hopped in the driver seat and tapped the passenger side “You coming up?” and he jumped up, sniffed around and got back out again so once we'd reached the stage he happily got inside the car by himself, we drove just up the road and back again to get him familiar with the sensation. I then drove just a little further and jumped out to let the dogs play in nearby woodland which is one of his favourite things so he quickly started to make a new association with going in the car to going places he loves and playing with tennis balls.

She will pick up on whatever vibes you're giving out and if she senses you're worried or if you give excessive reassurance, she's gonna go “Oh God what's wrong? I can sense worry what is it I need to be scared of that they're scared of??!!”

Nonchalant and flippant almost so she starts to think “Oh.. oh well they're not too worried and the other dog isn't bothered either maybe it's OK” It's amazing how many dogs we've had short term foster placements that were in similar shape and tended to stick to me like glue despite my attitude being nonchalant, flippant and almost like I hadn't noticed their worries and couldn't care less.

The fear of people can be a tricky one and does need more time but again it's a similar thing of baby steps and letting her get comfortable with people without them coming to approach her and getting her even more up the pole.

Ideally a very select few people she can get used to seeing out and about or just being near her without them directing any attention towards or physically touching or trying to will help her start getting over the initial anxiety or worry about what they might do.

I can't emphasise enough how important it is to make sure the trainer or whoever is coming to work with her understands that, doesn't impose or enforce herself and ideally is experienced and familiar with very anxious and fearful dogs.

You're essentially teaching your dog to form new associations with things she's fearful of right now and your other dog is an ideal way to demonstrate the relationship between you and the outside world. Keep everything light and make everything a super happy fun time and if she's not force or pressured to get involved, chances are she'll want to be involved!

Good luck Smile

pigsDOfly · 17/07/2021 20:29

Nothing helpful to add I'm afraid OP as I have no experience of anything like this.

Just wanted to say that you sound so caring about your fearful girl and I hope you manage to get her to a good frame of mind and have many happy years with her.

rainbowfairylights · 17/07/2021 21:49

@Purplecatshopaholic

My rescue boy was/is a right scaredy cat! He was terrible about most things when I got him, and really time and patience are what worked. I worked with a trainer and behaviourist for a while in the early days and that was really helpful too. Sometimes he regresses too and becomes scared of something again that was fine for a while. I am just really patient with him and don’t get stressed, so hopefully he sees me calm and calms down a bit himself. So worth it so see them flourish - I wish you joy with your lovely dog
Thanks so much, glad to know that a behaviourist worked for your lovely pup.
OP posts:
rainbowfairylights · 17/07/2021 21:49

@PinniGig

Poor little lass. Every single dog is different and has its own unique personality, traits and behaviour shaped by its initial start to life so for that reason it's impossible to give anything specific to your dog. From a general standpoint however and based on my own experience with very anxious, fearful dogs I'll offer a few pointers.

It's not at all uncommon for rescue dogs to suddenly decide they don't want to leave a person, the house or go beyond the garden / immediate vicinity mainly because they'll have settled in to their new home and latched on to the place or person they feel most secure and safe with if you will. That's a good thing because it means you've established a relationship to the point they trust you and feel safe and more at ease around you but it's also sometimes a really key and crucial point where they can go one way or another.

It's understandable owners want to do everything to keep the dogs getting more anxious by giving as much reassurance and comfort as they can but it often does more harm than good.

My advice is to take small steps by for example taking her out on a literal one or two minute walk with the other dog to help encourage her outside and let her watch and learn from example.

Putting her on a lead to take the small walks is crucial to keep her bolting. If she stops, plants her feet or starts to struggle or whine, a single firm but gentle word of reassurance and tapping on your leg “Hey hey it's OK come here” and then say nothing else. I don't turn back and head for home whilst a dog is still in fretting mode because it just teaches them the easiest, quickest way to get back is to create and kick up a fuss. Once they're following and walking alongside without too much whining or fretting, I turn round, maybe give one “Yeee good girl c'mon let's go back this way” and head for home.

Getting her favourite toy or whatever else she loves and throwing that into the mix will help her to form a new association with the environment. For example we had one who was absolutely petrified of going in the car but obsessed with tennis balls. I left both back doors of the car wide open, popped a tennis ball on the seat then pottered around like I wasn't looking. His curiosity and need to get hold of the ball made him sniff and mooch closer until he was hopping straight up into the back. Then I opened the front doors, hopped in the driver seat and tapped the passenger side “You coming up?” and he jumped up, sniffed around and got back out again so once we'd reached the stage he happily got inside the car by himself, we drove just up the road and back again to get him familiar with the sensation. I then drove just a little further and jumped out to let the dogs play in nearby woodland which is one of his favourite things so he quickly started to make a new association with going in the car to going places he loves and playing with tennis balls.

She will pick up on whatever vibes you're giving out and if she senses you're worried or if you give excessive reassurance, she's gonna go “Oh God what's wrong? I can sense worry what is it I need to be scared of that they're scared of??!!”

Nonchalant and flippant almost so she starts to think “Oh.. oh well they're not too worried and the other dog isn't bothered either maybe it's OK” It's amazing how many dogs we've had short term foster placements that were in similar shape and tended to stick to me like glue despite my attitude being nonchalant, flippant and almost like I hadn't noticed their worries and couldn't care less.

The fear of people can be a tricky one and does need more time but again it's a similar thing of baby steps and letting her get comfortable with people without them coming to approach her and getting her even more up the pole.

Ideally a very select few people she can get used to seeing out and about or just being near her without them directing any attention towards or physically touching or trying to will help her start getting over the initial anxiety or worry about what they might do.

I can't emphasise enough how important it is to make sure the trainer or whoever is coming to work with her understands that, doesn't impose or enforce herself and ideally is experienced and familiar with very anxious and fearful dogs.

You're essentially teaching your dog to form new associations with things she's fearful of right now and your other dog is an ideal way to demonstrate the relationship between you and the outside world. Keep everything light and make everything a super happy fun time and if she's not force or pressured to get involved, chances are she'll want to be involved!

Good luck Smile

This is so helpful, thank you! Really appreciate this. Yes she gets on with our other dog so well and learns from her so it might just be a confidence matching thing.
OP posts:
rainbowfairylights · 17/07/2021 21:49

@pigsDOfly

Nothing helpful to add I'm afraid OP as I have no experience of anything like this.

Just wanted to say that you sound so caring about your fearful girl and I hope you manage to get her to a good frame of mind and have many happy years with her.

Ohhh thank you, this is so kind.
OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 17/07/2021 21:54

If you’re on FB dog training advice and support would be helpful.
I would avoid trying to push her out of her comfort zone at the moment. Good luck OP.

A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 17/07/2021 23:13

Just wanted to reassure really that it does get better, but takes time. We've a Romanian street dog who was abandoned to a rescue here, and he was terrified of everything especially walking outside, cars, people, buses etc. It took a long time to get him comfortable, and it could take 15 mins to walk about 20 feet before coming straight home. And the park or anywhere with people around was a total no go. He's now brilliant though, and is able to come to dinner parties and bbqs with us, on holidays, loves parks and exploring new places. In those first few months I really didn't see how we'd ever get to this point, but it just happened gradually. Recall is still not good though and he's a Houdini that can escape anything, so he has to wear a long lead we can step on if he decides to run off.

rainbowfairylights · 18/07/2021 12:18

@A1b2c3d4e5f6g7

Just wanted to reassure really that it does get better, but takes time. We've a Romanian street dog who was abandoned to a rescue here, and he was terrified of everything especially walking outside, cars, people, buses etc. It took a long time to get him comfortable, and it could take 15 mins to walk about 20 feet before coming straight home. And the park or anywhere with people around was a total no go. He's now brilliant though, and is able to come to dinner parties and bbqs with us, on holidays, loves parks and exploring new places. In those first few months I really didn't see how we'd ever get to this point, but it just happened gradually. Recall is still not good though and he's a Houdini that can escape anything, so he has to wear a long lead we can step on if he decides to run off.
Oh thank you this is so reassuring. Did you work with a behavourist? What techniques did you do to help him?
OP posts:
A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 18/07/2021 12:44

@rainbowfairylights we worked with one from the rescue and one afterwards briefly- we didn't find it too helpful. And we probably did a lot wrong along the way. But the general gist was to not force things, but to work with exposure therapy and a lot of praise. Some of it was awful, standing outside on the street for ten mins while he trembled and cried, just speaking calmly and on his level so he could watch everything go by. No cuddling and fussing when he's scared, as it reinforces there might be something to be scared of. Watch your body language - I didn't realise how tense I was knowing how scared he was til it was pointed out to me. Apparently he was seeing my tension and taking cues from that. For us, he preferred very early morning or late at night walks.
Honestly speak with your vet also, Prozac or Xanax works great short term to let them get over the anxiety. Six months after we got him we did a road trip to France, and he was fab, much better, loved moving from hotel to hotel and exploring. But those first four months or so were hell and it felt like we did everything wrong

onceivepostedidontcomeback · 18/07/2021 13:04

Hi have a polish rescue that we got 2 years ago now. It took her almost six months to start to come out her shell. We tried classes and that was even worse so we just chilled with her. She bonded with me so much she was literally stuck to me. Fast forward then till now she's a hooligan. She's still skitterish, she always will be but was tearing up and down the beach in and out of the sea with her partner in crime yesterday. Once she/he feels safe with you and knows you'll save her from everything, that's half the battle.

rainbowfairylights · 18/07/2021 17:02

[quote A1b2c3d4e5f6g7]@rainbowfairylights we worked with one from the rescue and one afterwards briefly- we didn't find it too helpful. And we probably did a lot wrong along the way. But the general gist was to not force things, but to work with exposure therapy and a lot of praise. Some of it was awful, standing outside on the street for ten mins while he trembled and cried, just speaking calmly and on his level so he could watch everything go by. No cuddling and fussing when he's scared, as it reinforces there might be something to be scared of. Watch your body language - I didn't realise how tense I was knowing how scared he was til it was pointed out to me. Apparently he was seeing my tension and taking cues from that. For us, he preferred very early morning or late at night walks.
Honestly speak with your vet also, Prozac or Xanax works great short term to let them get over the anxiety. Six months after we got him we did a road trip to France, and he was fab, much better, loved moving from hotel to hotel and exploring. But those first four months or so were hell and it felt like we did everything wrong[/quote]
Thank you, this is so helpful.

We have a huuuuge garden that the dogs run around in a lot so our walks are either short walks early in the morning or late at night anyway, or bigger adventure walks in beauty spots. We (the humans) are also people-phobic so prefer walking away from others anyway, and we live in a very quiet area. So hopefully once she's figured that out, it will be okay!

Vets can't give her anything until they have her weight which we can't sort until she can get in the car, but once we've worked on her with that, we'll speak to our vets about Prozac. That's a great idea thank you.

OP posts:
rainbowfairylights · 18/07/2021 17:02

[quote A1b2c3d4e5f6g7]@rainbowfairylights we worked with one from the rescue and one afterwards briefly- we didn't find it too helpful. And we probably did a lot wrong along the way. But the general gist was to not force things, but to work with exposure therapy and a lot of praise. Some of it was awful, standing outside on the street for ten mins while he trembled and cried, just speaking calmly and on his level so he could watch everything go by. No cuddling and fussing when he's scared, as it reinforces there might be something to be scared of. Watch your body language - I didn't realise how tense I was knowing how scared he was til it was pointed out to me. Apparently he was seeing my tension and taking cues from that. For us, he preferred very early morning or late at night walks.
Honestly speak with your vet also, Prozac or Xanax works great short term to let them get over the anxiety. Six months after we got him we did a road trip to France, and he was fab, much better, loved moving from hotel to hotel and exploring. But those first four months or so were hell and it felt like we did everything wrong[/quote]
Oh one last thing - how did you get him into the car? This is our biggest worry at the moment, she tries to wriggle out of her harness and point blank refuses.

OP posts:
rainbowfairylights · 18/07/2021 17:03

@onceivepostedidontcomeback

Hi have a polish rescue that we got 2 years ago now. It took her almost six months to start to come out her shell. We tried classes and that was even worse so we just chilled with her. She bonded with me so much she was literally stuck to me. Fast forward then till now she's a hooligan. She's still skitterish, she always will be but was tearing up and down the beach in and out of the sea with her partner in crime yesterday. Once she/he feels safe with you and knows you'll save her from everything, that's half the battle.
Thank you so much for the reassurance. Lovely to hear how well your girl is doing now Smile
OP posts:
A1b2c3d4e5f6g7 · 19/07/2021 12:31

@rainbowfairylights we always had to carry him to the car. I sat in the back with him. As you've your other dog, he might be comfortable enough with them in the back also. I remember in France he started jumping in, excited to get to the next spot. So that would have been about 6 months after we got him roughly, and he likes the car now. We've had him for almost 2.5 years now.
I did everything I could to avoid medicating him, but actually I probably should have done it sooner and it would have saved him stress. The vet still gives me some Xanax which he just takes around firework time, otherwise he was only on them for a couple of months to help break the anxiety and stress pattern

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