Should I get a dog?

[barkingmadder]

DH and I, both first-time dog owners, no close relatives or friends with dogs. I know we could give a dog a good life - exercise, someone at home in the day (i.e. me working but flexible hours and could do walks for hours etc.), quiet household, good vets, great woodland walks nearby, stimulation etc. We're talking an adult rescue dog, not buying a puppy. The question is: how do I know that I actually want a dog? I don't know what it's like to have a dog 24/7 and I know this is a very serious decision that will affect our lives for possibly 15 years to come and to always thinking about the dog when it comes to any lifestyle situation or holiday. I'm not bothered by them chewing or smelling or being messy. What I'm wondering about is more the fact that I like watching and inviting wildlife (birds, hedgehogs, nests) into the garden, which any dog will most likely naturally scare off/attack, and the fact that I already feel like my life is 'complete' with our current lifestyle just doing outdoorsy stuff like allotment and camping - although all of which a dog could slot into well. Ultimately, without actually having a dog until we actually get one, how do I actually know that we should definitely get one? I have a burning curiosity, rather than a burning, absolute certainty that getting a dog is the right thing for us to do. I realise this is a catch-22 and doesn't make much sense, so any advice welcome!

Have you considered fostering for a local rescue?

Be around people with dogs? Borrow a friends dog to see what’s involved? It is hard to consider all eventualities until they arise, so it’s hard to say for sure. However I adopted a rescue adult dog almost 4 years ago, and it’s wonderful.

Dogs are tying. You might find that you can’t go certain places that you would think are dog friendly. You might not be able to go out in weather that is too hot or too cold (depending on the dog). Going somewhere non-dog friendly, requires logistics to work it out and make sure their OK. You can visit dog friendly places now but you don’t realise how dog friendly they really are until you’ve carried a poo bag for 4 miles!

If you have wildlife in your garden, the first thing would be to teach your dog a good leave it. We have wildlife in our garden, the birds will fly off if they’ve been sat on the fence but they’ll still sit in the tree. We have a very friendly robin who just hops along the fence, the dogs are used to him and pay him no attention. They mostly get excited by the fat wood pigeon. We’ve had a hedgehog previously, we didn’t realise originally and the dog showed a lot of attention in that area. If you have a hedgehog, you can use a dog pen to create an area that the dog can’t go so the hedgehog is fine. Our hedgehog wasn’t bothered by the dog. It could be that we back onto farmland and all the houses have dogs, the hedgehog probably decided it would have to deal with it or live in the fields.

We visit a lot of reserves. I will always follow the rules of the site we visit and if that asks for my dogs on lead, they stay on lead. It means taking the time to train your dog to walk nicely on lead otherwise it becomes an unpleasant experience for you and the dog and you avoid these areas. DH is an amateur photographer and will often take his camera. The dogs have just got used to we will stop, they will be on their lead and DH will take some photos of wildlife. We were at the country park a few weeks ago and a swan was building a nest a couple of metres away from us. The dogs have been trained to wait quietly, so DH was able to get a photo while the dogs sat quietly. It can help to have treats with you, so you reward when they are waiting nicely while you watch wildlife. A few weeks ago, we also walked past a number of goslings, all just off the main path, the dogs were told to leave it and they walked nicely past them. This was an off-lead area of the park, so you need to just be mindful of what is ahead of you and depending on the season just accept it’ll be on lead walks. In your hunt for a dog, I would probably look for one with a low prey drive. Even if they do have a high prey drive, you can train a good leave it. It just takes time and patience.

If you go to the allotment, you can either have the dog on a longer line or when they’re a bit more trained, you should be able to keep them close to you without the lead. Camping they just fit in. It’s always difficult with a rescue as it takes a while for them to settle in and you to see the real dog but if you’re committed to training, you’ll be fine.

I wouldn’t be without my dogs but they’re a big lifestyle choice. Maybe try fostering. It won’t give the full picture as you won’t be doing all the training you would do with your own but it’ll be start.

Thank you all and thanks for your generous input, InTheNightWeWillWish! I suppose I'm just concerned that I don't feel like my life is incomplete without a dog..but maybe it is and I just don't realise it ;)

Write your weekly schedule. How would a ddog fit in?
Have you a good kennels /vet /trainer nearby?
Pros and cons list maybe?
We have 4 ddogs. Demanding and tying but can't imagine life without them.

I honestly don't recommend you get a dog if it's just to see if you are missing something from you life. We have a 10
Month old beagle and I can honestly say it's been one of the worst mistakes of our lives. We obviously look after him well, have resigned ourselves to the fact that we have him for his life but if I could press a button and go back I would like a shot. This was not a spur of the moment decision either, we spoke as a family for many months before we got him.

Everyone is a first time dog owner once. Do you have a dogstrust near you? Could you volunteer to dog walk, and find out a bit more about dog ownership? I think you are sensible to consider adopting an adult dog, rather than buy a cute looking pup on a whim. Good luck

I don’t think youll know until you get one-borrowing/walking is not the same. I’d suggest you get an old rescue aged 10-12 years. Not only is it really nice to give an elderly dog a home, older dogs are often more mellow/low maintenance and it’s less of a commitment than getting a younger dog which you’d have to look after for at least a decade. Rescues often cover medical costs for older dogs, and some won’t cost that much in vet fees anyway (if they don’t have any diseases and are just growing old). It’s sad when they die within a few years, but a great feeling to give them a nice retirement (and it’s always sad when dogs die) and you could them get a younger dog if it turns out dog ownership suits you.

Dogs are tying. You have to be happy with that.
We stop hedgehogs from coming in our garden as my dog rolls in the poo. She chases birds and barks at them.
My dog wouldn’t like camping at all. Shes grown up to be anxious and wouldn’t sleep away from home.
I think you have to be able to adapt to your dog if necessary. If you can’t adapt a bit it might not work.

Someone I know uses this
www.borrowmydoggy.com/

The dog comes to their house one weekend a month- sleeps over, they feed him, look after him etc take him out on walks. But don’t have the tying and responsibility of a full time dog.

As PP have said, either foster or adopt an older rescue.

Honestly, though, I'm not the person to ask. I accept that dogs are a tie but I wouldn't be without ours.

Beagles are a really bad choice for first time dog owners. No wonder pp regrets it! Why not rescue an old dog that is getting overlooked at a shelter? Then it's maybe a 4-5 year commitment rather than a 15 year one. Or foster for a bit.

We rescued an older dog, that way we knew we wouldn't have them for 15 years if we realised it wasn't really for us. We had a 10 year old and had her for 4 or 5 years. I'm glad we did it but it made me realise I wouldn't have wanted to be tied to a dog for 15 years.

I don’t think you really want a dog. It sounds like you are almost trying to persuade yourself that you do. X

What about a house rabbit?

it is a massive shock to your life to get a dog if you have never had one before BUT once you have had that first dog and lost him/her your life is empty without the dog so you launch yoursef into having a dog (with the joys and heartaches) all over again.
think carefully if you have any doubts - not everyone is made complete by having a dog. It sounds as if you have a full life anyway.

Why are you thinking of getting a dog when your life is complete without one?
I'm not being snarky but I have dogs to fulfill my need to have something to care for.
That doesn't mean they are not loads of work, expensive, tying, sometimes stressful.
But I get a lot back so it's worth it to me.
If you aren't pining for a dog I don't think it will be worth it to you.

I got my first ever dog one month into lockdown. My kids had always wanted one and they are now old enough to help me look after it (my DH lives abroad). I work in a demanding job that used to be in an office but I have been working from home for the last nearly 18 months. So on a whim we got one. I am totally and utterly in love with him. I never thought I could love a dog so much. He is my friend and companion. I will go back to the office soon but luckily only 2 days a week to start with and he is already settling into a dog border for 0.5 a day a week to get him settled before I go back. Has been one of the best decisions of my life. My kids also adore him - and even after a year are still very very much in love with him. Yes it’s a life stage change but then so is having kids. Good luck with your choice.

*boarder

@M0rT yep but I didn’t think my life was ‘not complete’ before I got a dog.

How many things do you do completely spontaneously? There really is no spontaneity with dogs unless your going some where dog friendly. Anything else has to be carefully planned out.
Do you have someone who could look after the dog if you were doing something they couldn't do with you?

We are quite outdoorsy and dog has fitted in well to our lifestyle but we've still had to make some changes. DH has given up one of his hobbies because it wasn't compatibility with having a dog. We've had to re think holidays and days off/weekends are geared around what works for the dog.

However our dog has been a huge bonus to our lives. He brings us so much joy and happiness.

I've always had dogs but my DH hasn't. He however couldn't imagine a life without dogs now. I don't think he realised how much he would bond and love them.

@Needapoodle

Beagles are a really bad choice for first time dog owners. No wonder pp regrets it! Why not rescue an old dog that is getting overlooked at a shelter? Then it's maybe a 4-5 year commitment rather than a 15 year one. Or foster for a bit.

I'm also a first time beagle owner and as a result I "know" hundreds of others via beagle meets, groups and forums.

Very few truly regret their dog and those that do haven't done their research in my experience. I also don't find beagles to be especially challenging.

The only people I hear saying "beagles are a nightmare" are people who've never owned one and who have no experience of the breed

They're a hound and they're very different to other dogs which I think is why they have the reputation they do. You can't treat them like a spaniel and expect obedience and a contented dog.

Before we had our cat we had no idea how much we were missing out on in life. I'm sure this can be true for having a dog too (I don't have one - yet!!!)

You do need to think really carefully. My children asked for a dog for years. I have always said no. I'm not a dog person, I don't like the smell, mess, the commitment or the tie... well I didn't...! Honestly never thought I could love an animal like I love our dog. He's a six month old cockapoo and we've had him from 8 weeks. Best decision ever. Our home feels 'complete'. We found an amazing home boarder as our dog HATES the car so taking him even ten minutes down the road is a big no no. He doesn't get on with the cat, she hates him, he has been to the toilet upstairs in our house on two carpets, with the runs, he steals stuff like shoes constantly, i caught him chewing my sofa legs a few days ago (soon stopped that!!) and will run away for fun given half a chance but some of this is our fault as we could've trained him better. We can leave him a few hours in the day but he sleeps on my bed at night. He's fantastic with the kids but weirdly he's MY dog, I'm his 'mum' as such. Only get a dog if you've really thought it over, you are tied as soon as you get one.

Well, lots of people have dogs and love them but to be perfectly honest, I do regret getting my dog and I have decided I won’t get another dog.

For me, the issue isn’t so much the dog (she’s a real sweetheart and largely very well behaved) but other dogs and their owners.

Other dogs do not tend to like my dog and I can honestly say it is rare on a walk not to come across at least one dog who is aggressive to mine.

As well as dogs being aggressive to my dog I have experienced dogs being aggressive to me (without my dog) aswell, my DH has been bitten twice by a horrible dog; fortunately through his trainers and it’s a very small dog so no damage.

I grew up the biggest dog lover you can imagine, i adored dogs, whenever I saw a loose dog I always secretly hoped it would run over so I could pet it, any programme with dogs in I would watch, I read so many books about dogs etc

Now, I really quite dislike dogs.

I finally got my dog (as a small puppy) after so many years and desperately wanting one.
She has a lovely, sweet, kind, gentle temperament.
She is so friendly with people and has never showed any aggression to them whatsoever.
But because so many dogs dislike her she isn’t good with other dogs at all.
She doesn’t bark or lunge on the lead or anything like that, she will walk past dogs, she’ll sit and ignore them if I have treats but if a dog tries to interact with her she will usually growl at them.
Walks are just horrible.
Horrible, horrible, horrible.

She is always leashed because she is going deaf now and still, people allow their loose dogs to run over, often from considerable distance to harass her.

I end up constantly changing direction walking so the two can’t interact or walking miles away with the other dogs owner ineffectually calling them hoping and praying it isn’t going to attack my dog.

I regularly have leashed dogs go absolutely bananas when we try and pass - barking, lunging, snarling, growling trying to attack her.

Even without my dog I have had leashed dogs lunge and snarl at me just the same.
My DH has been bitten.

I have gone from someone who loved and admired every dog I saw to someone suspicious and apprehensive of every dog (unless it’s really tiny) I see.
I am nervous of loose dogs running free near me and I walk out of the way when I see leashed dogs now so I don’t have walk close past them.

For a long time with the dog I did still want another dog, I convinced myself maybe other dogs wouldn’t react so bad with the new dog, maybe the new would protect the old etc but I am so worn down with it all and so nervous of dogs now I never want another.

Some smaller downsides, that if it wasn’t for other dogs wouldn’t actually be enough to dissuade me from having another dog but it might for others, they really limit you and kill spontaneity dead.

A lot of places don’t allow dogs and those that do often don’t insist on good behaviour so a huge proportion of restaurants, pubs, shops, leisure centres, hotels, holidays etc are out of the question.
Good boarding needs to be booked months advance, you can just decide to go somewhere nice for the weekend for example.

Training can be a lot harder than you think, I really didn’t think it would be an issue but my dog is old now and still doesn’t walk nicely roughly at heel on lead (though she doesn’t pull very much now).

They can smell too and the shedding of a lot of breeds can be truly shocking.