When should I put him to sleep? Becoming more aggressive

[HildegardeCrowe]

My dog (aged approx 14 but don’t know for sure as he’s a rescue) has recently been diagnosed with degenerative myelopathy. This is an incurable progressive condition which leads to total paralysis, starting at the back end and usually within a couple of years but could be sooner. He’s still mobile but has to sit down a lot and likes his walks but can’t jump on the sofa or climb stairs anymore. I can see it’s getting steadily worse.

Combined with this, he’s become increasingly aggressive. This isn’t all the time and he can be very affectionate and loves cuddles but the unpredictability of when he’ll try to go for you is difficult to live with. When I try to pick him up (and I’ll have to do this more and more due to his condition), he always snarls and depending on his mood might snap at me. My daughter doesn’t like him and tries to avoid him. I’d say he’s still really enjoying life and he can be a very sweet and happy dog but the aggression is wearing me down. I’ve started to wonder when I should consider putting him to sleep. Do I wait until his back end is totally paralysed and just live with the aggression? I love him to bits and he’s my constant companion as I live alone.

Could the aggression be because he's in pain?

This is meant with the kindest of hearts OP, but why on earth would you wait until he was completely paralysed? Although he has moments of happiness, it does sound as if he is unhappy and in pain.
"Better one day too early than one day too late."
He has been a wonderful devoted companion for 14 years, please don't let him suffer any longer than he has to.

@IamMaz, I pretty sure he’s not in pain and he’s had a tendency to be snappy ever since I got him aged 5. No I wouldn’t wait until he’s paralysed and the condition he has doesn’t cause pain. So I was thinking of waiting until his back legs have gone. I do totally hear what you say @SourMilkGhyll and don’t want to put it off.

And he doesn’t seem to be suffering, that’s what makes it difficult.

I agree with person above. Why would you let him reach a point of indignity, pain and paralysis? He’s served you well and sounds like it’s time to let him go peacefully.

I think vets tend to leave the decision to owners, which can be unkind on the dog, as it is such a hard decision to make. You love your dog, be strong and use your instincts. As soon as you cannot manage him, or he is unhappy, is the right time.

So hard @LemonRoses. At the moment he still runs which is quite strange given his weakness, loves his food, snuggles up to me and can be really affectionate when meeting people. His eyes are bright and he still shows excitement. I was thinking I’d wait until he can’t use his back legs/is incontinent but it’s the aggression that’s making me think it should be sooner. Am I being selfish?

Yes the vet has told me I’d know when the time is right@LovelyGirlCompetition. And your advice is sound, thank you.

He's obviously in pain and your daughter is frightened of him, who benefits from him being left like this?

Sorry you have this decision to make OP

Not being selfish at all, better to let him go now before he bites you and you are scared of him. I was a vet nurse for ten years and I agree, better to let them go too early than too late. If you feel it's time then it's time. It is a very difficult decision I know

I’m almost certain he’s not in pain @PomegranateQueen and the vet doesn’t think he is either. If he was, the decision would be made.

@HildegardeCrowe

So hard *@LemonRoses*. At the moment he still runs which is quite strange given his weakness, loves his food, snuggles up to me and can be really affectionate when meeting people. His eyes are bright and he still shows excitement. I was thinking I’d wait until he can’t use his back legs/is incontinent but it’s the aggression that’s making me think it should be sooner. Am I being selfish?

Saying goodbye is going to be hard whenever. Is it fair to wait until he’s incontinent and unable to move? What if he really bites someone, should he then die in disgrace? Has to be your decision, but I know what I’d do.

Our vet has always said better a day early than a day too late.
It's the last kindness we can do for our loved pets, have another chat with your vet and take their advice.
If you have concerns he might bite, think how you would feel if he did hurt someone.
We have 2 dogs and I'm dreading them getting old.

Yes, you are all right. I can’t bear the thought of being without a dog and have already started looking for another rescue. Poor old man, I love him so but I know the euthanasia process is kind as just went through it with my cat.

I would not be letting him get to the point of incontinence and his back legs going. That is cruel.

Can you imagine the fear and panic he will feel when he realises that he cannot use his legs or control his bodily functions?

He doesn't understand why it's happening. Imagine waking up one day and realising you can't get up? Imagine slowly losing control of your bladder and bowels and not knowing why.

Dogs can't have a doctor explain to them what is wrong with them but they know that they are deteriorating and it's possible that this is the cause of his worsening aggression. He is scared by something that he has no language to express.

Do you think that’s why he’s become aggressive @nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut?

I think its a definite possibility. As you say, he's in no pain but it could well be frustration and fear at not being able to do what he used to. Dogs have no real concept of a neurological condition but they are very intelligent. He just knows he's declining and really this is the only way he has of communicating distress or fear.

It’s a truly awful decision to make.
However, he is a good age, has had a good life and is currently enjoying everything he does, with just the odd off day.

In very similar conditions, we made the decision to have our dog put to sleep.
He was a border collie 11 years old. He had gradually been slowing down, which we put down to age. One day he didn’t really want to get up and go out, but he did eventually and enjoyed his walk. We booked a vet check up. Vet diagnosed possible leukaemia 90% certain, but could only confirm by running test etc, no treatment other than expensive chemo and then only pro longing life by 6 months or so.

We made the decision to have him pts whilst still happy and healthy.
Took him for a last walk in his favourite place, fed him his favourite food, slept in our bed etc.

I was so, so hard for us but easy for him as he just went for a really long sleep.

No way could I watch my best friend deteriorate knowing I could do something to help him.

I hadn’t thought of that @nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut but it sounds really feasible since the aggression has only got worse in the last year or so. I think the time might be bear 🙁

To be honest as long as he's not in pain or unhappy I think it's up to you and your vet to decide OP. We keep people alive under much worse circumstances because euthanasia is illegal, even if they are in pain or desperately want to be allowed to die. You know him best OP.

Is he on any pain relief currently? As the behaviour described would suggest he is in pain, especially as reactive to being lifted.

My vet tends to go on what I describe as my dog is pretty stoic and dislikes being there, so unless extremely painful doesn't react at all. The physio picked up many more subtle signs of where there was pain & vet then treated accordingly.

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut is quite right. I have a dodgy spine and it’s miserable enough as a sentient human who can converse with doctors.

I absolutely adore my dogs and this is one of the few subjects I get easily teary about, but I absolutely will do it sooner rather than later for them if it ever comes to that. I can’t bear to think of them scared and confused any more than in pain.

I think animals with loving owners are lucky to have an easy euthanasia option without being aware of it TBH.

An aggressive dog is not a happy content dog.

I would say his time has come. Don't leave it until he bites someone/is miserable. Better a month too soon than a day too late.

So sorry to hear about your dog. Our beloved Labrador was PTS 5 months ago aged 12 with neuropathy also called degenerative myelopathy. We kept him going for as long as we could as we couldn't stand the thought of losing him. We picked him up when his back legs gave way up to 20 times a day. He was happy and loved his walks - they'd become little toddles round the block. We took him out for trips in the car and visits to pubs etc we think he was happy.

We know when it was time as over a period of a week he had a few little turns where he'd lose his balance and fall over, he had one bigger one when he wet himself and was quite distressed, we stayed up with him all night he was panting and looked scared. We knew it was then time.

The aggression could be connected to the neuropathy as it's a disease of the nervous system, we noticed our boy seemed vague and confused towards the last few months and with hindsight and some reading about the disease it was probably affecting his brain.

It's a horrible decision to make and I think that you know when it's the right time, we did. You're doing it for them.

We still miss him terribly and feel so bereft - even though we've got ourselves a new puppy, we'll never forget him but we know that we have to capacity to love another dog - he showed us this, I call it his legacy to us.