How much has a dog helped your DC's mental health?

[TheOrigRights]

My kids have always wanted a dog. One has left home now, and it's just me and my 12yo son at home.

He's really struggling with lots of things at the moment.
I think the right dog would really help him.

I have never had a dog before and until recently felt it would be too much - not so much the home set up, but just how much I had going on.

I'm interested in hearing how beneficial a dog has been for older children.

We got a dog largely for the benefit of my anxious 6 year old. She can become very overwhelmed and has sensory issues.

Our dog has hugely benefitted her. And in turn has made certain things easier for us all. He can break into her meltdowns by licking her, fussing her or bringing her a toy. He's never been trained to do that. But he is very much her protector. (I'm sure salty tears helps as a tasty benefit too).

He also can distract her or give her a focus when out in places she doesn't feel comfortable with (busy, noisy, new).

I sometimes worry how she would cope if he died. And when he is ill she can get incredibly worried.

But overall the benefits far outweigh the negatives (so far).

I think, if done right, dogs are massively beneficial to children.

Our dogs have been really good formy dc’s mental health. My eldest (now 19) has ASD and it was noted by his assessors and therapists that, being able to sit quietly with the dogs massively benefits his mental health, by allowing him to just ‘be’ and destress from the day. It has been repeatedly mentioned in various assessments and reports since he was 8 years old.

My other ds 9 (now 17) has become very ill over the last few years. He has been stuck at home since he was 14 years old and is still pretty much housebound (even more since Covid, as he is CV, but too young to eligible for a vaccine). He and our remaining dog have been best friends ever since they were tiny (he was 18 months old when this dog arrived as an unexpected, unplanned rescue pup) and having the dog at home with him has been a sanity saver, giving him something/someone else to focus on and on good days, being actively involved in his care keeps him mobile and gives him a routine to break up the day. Also, with the dog always being here, he hasn’t felt as isolated as he could have done.

My dd is 12 and dog mad. Dog walks were a lifesaver during lockdown and having a dog also helped her transition to secondary school mid panemic, having found and made friends with a group of similarly dog mad friends at her new school.

Having said all that, I do feel strongly that you must actively want a dog yourself for it to work out. They are a lot of work, a huge commitment and even an easy dog will drastically change your lifestyle, in terms of spontaneity. Also, with the best will in the world, even with dcs who are actively interested and involved in the day to day care, the lion’s share will always be down to you and ultimately, given for example my current dog, who is almost 16, you will most likely be the one left to care for them when they are elderly and high needs, when your dc moves on to uni or employment. It has to be a whole family decision, with everyone in agreement that they want it and will be actively involved.

Our first rescue was an old boy who rescued ds2 (14 then) as much as he was rescued himself. He cuddled the dog, told him things he couldn't tell us and got him through a very difficult period.

As another poster mentioned, the trauma that then arose when ddog died was awful but actually helped to prepare for losing people close to him.

The right dog is key, it really depends on what your family needs.

I think dogs can definitely be beneficial to children (and adults) mental health, but they are also a huge responsibility and can even add more stress if their behaviour/health is demanding. They are so much hard work.

Thank you for your responses.

I need to think carefully.

I have always been of the mind that if we did get a dog, that indeed it would be me who did the lion's share of the care, so I am under no illusions regarding that.

I have worked from home for many years, so company isn't an issue, though (at least before covid) I do travel for work (a few times a year for a week or two, rather than shorter but more frequent trips).

I definitely wouldn't get a puppy.

I think you’re right not to get a puppy, our DD13, who is very withdrawn and is struggling a lot with her mental health and under Camhs with suspected autism, really badgered for a puppy, but we have quite a big and lively breed and although DD is fond of her I get frustrated at how she won’t listen to any of the training advice, she wants to take her out by herself but then can’t control her properly and does almost nothing at home, she actually seems a bit scared of the dog and seems frustrated and jealous that she has become my dog.

I think in a few months DD and dog will be great friends but it has been a hard road and has possibly added to the stresses between us although DD’s mental health was a major driving force for getting doggie.

Our dogs have been great for our children's mental health, but also to teach them responsibility. Mine are all teens, so old enough to help with walking, feeding, health checking, remembering when they need worming etc. They are a great 'shoulder to cry on' when things are tough, and a great way of getting the children out of bed, and out of the house, as they do need their exercise.

However, they are a big commitment, and you really need to want the dog yourself too, or you will find yourself resenting it. There are times when going for a walk in pouring rain, picking up a warm poo, hoovering a mountain or hair and washing a wet, stinky dog aren't what you really feel like doing, so you have to really love them to want to do that whenever it's needed.
Personally I wouldn't be without mine.
Think carefully, and do your research as to the breed, age and sex that is going to suit you and your child's characters and temperaments best, and be realistic. xx

DD is 11 and has suffered with anxiety. We got a puppy partially to give her distraction and focus and it has been great. She has been totally on board with the training right from the start, it has really helped her socialise with her peers and she always has someone so excited to see her and distract her if needed.

I had dog growing up but did spends ridiculous hours reading everything I could about training beforehand and that really helped.

Personally one of the best bits of parenting is watching the relationships between my dc and our ddogs blossom. Ds6 shares a bedtime book with our ddogs every night. He kisses them all the time - he asks for one and they happily deliver!!

DD11 has come on leaps and bounds since getting puppy 2 months ago. She's a very clever, serious child, the puppy has really brought out her silly, playful, sociable side. They are inseparable and the love she gives him is returned 10x, he waits at the door for her coming home from school, cries at her bedroom door when she's not home. It warms my heart and brings a tear to my eye to see them at times.

As others have said, you need to be prepared to do 99% of the work yourself.

Beyond that, our dog has benefitted DD by the sheer happiness of her nature - DDog is so happy when the alarm goes off and we all wake up for the day. She is delighted to greet me, when I let her into DD's room she nibbles DD's ears and jumps on DD until DD gives in and plays with her.

When DD gets home from school DDog gets so excited she whimpers and jumps up until DD plays with her. Whatever has happened at school ends up being left at the door.

If DD is having nightmares she takes DDog in to sleep with her and finds in calming (the rest of the time DDog takes up too much room in the bed!).

When DD is stressed (or cross with me!) then coming for a walk in the park gives a way of being together without pressure, and that generally gives DD the space to open up and talk to me about whatever is wrong.

Most of all it is DDog's zest for life which is infectious (6 months old when we got her, now 18 months old - always ready to play or to snuggle!)

A massive help here; to adults as well as the DC
Our dog always makes us smile (he can be a pain in the bum too but we love him to bits) 🐶

our puppy now grown dog has been amazing with my son. The key is researching the right breed or mix, we have a small medium sized dog - a mixed breed and she is happy, lovely and so excited to see my son, snuggles for cuddles, jumps into bed with him, watches tv with us, distracts him when he is a bit anxious or down and has brought joy to the family ( and yes she is a lot of work, and puppy stage was crazy , but if you have the time and genuinely love animals and dogs, and do your research re temperament, totally worth it.