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What breed for our first family pup?

126 replies

tishpish · 24/06/2021 20:23

Hello basically as the title says we are wanting to add a furry addition to the family now our youngest child is almost 5 we are pretty clueless about what breed suits us best so hoping someone could help me here , abit about us we our quite active an enjoy walks but not hobby walkers or anything but we like being outdoors, we could offer 2 good walks a day. I'm a stay at home mum currently with no plans to return to work for at least a year so I have all the time in the world to train we don't want anything to bouncy that could knock our youngest child down. Can anyone with experience give me some directions to go for a nice family dog breed please , thanks in advance Smile

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FeistySheep · 25/06/2021 12:22

I don't know anything really about the small dog breeds, so can't advise on them.
But lab/retriever/spaniel are all good family dogs. Lively yes, but gentle and love all family members (as opposed to some dogs which can be very much one man dogs). Possibly also some kind of lurcher type dog - they seem calmish and are good family pets, but I don't know enough about them to recommend which ones.

Puppies are bitey, there is no getting away from that. Just work on it immediately, and also train your kids how to behave with the dog to avoid too many nips! If you are firm, any reasonably intelligent breed will be trainable enough that you can refocus the biting onto chew toys instead of flesh!
Puppies and young dogs are also quite boisterous, and you should probably expect your kids to get accidentally knocked over from time to time. I have border collies (not recommending these for you) and they are only medium size but I had one who loved to jump on me whenever I crouched/sat on the floor - he knocked me over every time and I'm a grown adult. But again, the solution is to show the kids how to spot when the dog is overexcited and how to stay out of the way at these times. At the same time try to train the dog to sit and be calm at these exciting times.
Good luck in your search!

tishpish · 25/06/2021 12:26

Really helpful messages thank you , we are going to view a litter of cocker spaniels this weekend they aren't ready until august but few questions if anyone can help is there much difference in temperament between boys an girls? Mil is telling me bitches are awful and to avoid at all costs I would like a girl to even things up in the house although we have no real preference.

OP posts:
Powertothepetal · 25/06/2021 12:30

Mil is telling me bitches are awful and to avoid at all costs
I have a bitch (not a cocker spaniel) and she is a very sweet, kind little soul.
Exceptionally tolerant and gentle with children too.

My MIL has two bitches (different breeds to mine, still not a cocker spaniel) and both of hers are also perfectly sweet and friendly with children.

Wolfiefan · 25/06/2021 12:34

Cockers are known as cockerdiles as pups.
Plus where did you find the breeder? Avoid online shopping. Be suspicious of everyone when looking for a pup. Go through the breed club and make sure you know what specialist health tests parents should have prior to breeding.

Labradabradorable · 25/06/2021 12:38

Labradors are one of the most popular family digs for good reason. They are kind, intelligent, trainable and loyal. Most love kids and are happy to go with the flow. Our Labrador puppy has become all of these things over the past year. On the downside he is also immensely greedy ( I swear he’d sell me for a single Hobnob from a stranger, he stole our supper last week), really quite destructive ( today it was two gift bags, a hole in the veg patch and a sock, it’s been a quiet one), and very, very strong (much stronger than my childhood Staffie). But ours’ (a boy, always had boys) is gorgeous and I wouldn’t swap him now I can see the beautiful adult dog he’s becoming. The Cocker puppies I know seem more manageable because of their smaller size but often vanish into bushes to eat dead things and other twatty goings-on. I worry about their tendency to resource guard, which feels risky around young kids. My advice would be to train young and train well . If you go for a working breed that should include some training to understand how to help them to positively express their breed traits. Here is a picture of my puppy, cos I love him.

What breed for our first family pup?
What breed for our first family pup?
wetotter · 25/06/2021 12:39

It's difficult to receomment without knowing whether you want small/medium/large dog, whether you have any preferences for coat type and amount of grooming, attitudes to drool, and of course how many hours that have available to walk.

Generally, if you're first time owners, one of the more straightforward breeds might be best - Border Terrier?

honeylou42 · 25/06/2021 12:40

Cockapoo's have a wonderful temperament 🤎

Ladylokidoki · 25/06/2021 12:55

I have had spaniels my whole life. Owned, adopted and fostered.

I would say first off, you will get people who have got a cocker or sprocker as their first dog, with young kids, and it worked our wonderfully well. It does happen.

However, the vast majority we see through the rescue are first time owners with young kids that either don't have the time to put into enrichment, don't understand enrichment and how it can be over stimulating, can not seem to train the puppy that have bite inhibition, find them too full on or aren't prepared to deal with resource guarding and separation anxiety.

And yes, lots of cockers don't resource guard (non of mine have) lots don't have separation anxiety, one of my rescues does have this. But if you join Facebook pages like 'cocker spaniels UK' you will see the frequency that people are looking to rehome, due to these issues. Or posting because they are at the end of their teather with their behaviour.

The line between tiring the puppy out and over stimulating them, is often very fine.

As, pp says, they are known as cockerdiles as pups and many families find that the kids end up disliking the dog until its much older. Or the kids start screaming and the dog becomes over stimulated. People think they are prepared for the biting, but often they aren't. And it can take anything from weeks to months to sort.

I think they make fabulous family dogs, but they are a breed that you can easily get it wrong with. When it gone wrong it can be difficult to undo.

Our youngest spaniel, was one of 3 that I fostered at 5-6 weeks old after the 'breeder' threaten to dump them. She is an excellent companion for my ds who is autistic. They are inseparable when my ds is here. She knows when he is getting stressed usual at bedtime and she lays on him. The pressure helps him sleep then she moves off but stays near him.

My other, is the lesser spotted lazy show/working cross and is the eaisest dog I have ever had.

Their recall as always been fabulous, even in the teenage stage. I use total recall be pippa mattinson, which is an excellent book.

Also the sheer amount of cocker breeders at the moment is worrying. So many are ones that wi give you the 'we just bred our dog because we love them so much and wanted one like them'. Which is code for 'I am a backyard breeder and don't know what I am doing'.

There's also a huge amount of people paying for deposits and then not getting the dog. The breeder comes up with some random excuse and its sold to someone else. Usually, a higher bidder. These breeders also won't ensure you are fully prepared. Hence so many going through rescue.

Sorry for the long post, but the last year as been ridiculous for rehoming, mainly due to unprepared owners and breeders who are not responsibly breeding and it appears to only be getting worse because puppy prices are so high.

As for sex, I find it's more a personality trait rather than sex. Some females are more loyal, some males are. Some females like other dogs, some are more aggressive to other dogs. Same with males.

Oh, they also usually shed, often have anal gland problems, can have trouble with 'happy tail'

I feel like I have had a huge rant about how bad they are. They aren't, they are fabulous, but a breed I wouldnt recommend for a house with young children, where there very little experience with dogs.

Ladylokidoki · 25/06/2021 12:56

Oh and ensure both parents are health tested, also look up common health issues.

Indoctro · 25/06/2021 13:27

@FawkesThePhoenix here you go. This is the breed clubs for UK just contact the relevant secretary for your area and they will help you source a puppy

What breed for our first family pup?
Indoctro · 25/06/2021 13:30

@Powertothepetal

But you will know you are getting a quality show standard dog bred for its temperament and not bred at all for money You must be joking! Show breeding focuses on looks, a look as close to a ridiculous set of written rules on appearance as possible. Temperament is secondary to looking as close to the standard as possible.

I said to my partner the other day that most families want a staffie for temperament not looks but these days they're mixing bully breeds in to get the blue colour (as pointed out by a poster on another thread) which then messes with the temperament and health
Um, Staffies are a bull breed...
The clue is in the name.
The Staffordshire bull terrier.

And blue is a dilute of black, black is a common Staffy colours, it is far more likely that in the ‘olden days’ blue pups cropped up naturally now and then and were killed, much like white German shepherds (which the Kennel Club has now classified as white Swiss shepherds Hmm) and White boxers.
No bringing in larger bully breeds required.

It is true that as a dilute blue can bring health problems, like allergies/skin problems, as can the colour white, so they probably shouldn’t be bred for that reason.

This is absolute nonsense they are breeding for temperament due to the dangerous dogs act in uk and going anything possible to keep this breed from ending up on it. Perhaps you are taking about other breed show people but Stafford ones are breeding the best temperament they can and for a very good reason, to protect the breed as in its true form it's a fantastic temperament of a dog and excellent with kids.
Indoctro · 25/06/2021 13:34

@Powertothepetal

You can say that mixing other breeds isnt need but it IS happening because everyone wants blue these days I think you’ve misunderstood what I meant.

Blue is a dilute colour, it’s the dilute version
of black.

As black is a very common colour in staffies it is quite likely that blue is in fact a natural occurrence in the breed and not the result of outcross with other breeds.

Because blue isn’t a ‘standard’ show colour it is very likely that in the past any blue staffs that naturally popped up in a litter were killed hence blue once being very rare.

Nowadays, people don’t tend to kill puppies for being the ‘wrong’ colour, in fact, a lot of people are more attracted to the so called ‘wrong’ colour so breed them deliberately and thus, we now see a lot more ‘non standard’ colours, often, that isn’t the result of an outcross but naturally occurring in the breed.
White GSDs and Boxers being two well known examples, they are 100% pure GSD and Boxer, the white colour has always cropped up now and then, just now those puppies aren’t killed.
I suspect it is the same for blue staffies.

While a blue staff might be more likely to get skin problems and/or allergies the temperament should be unchanged.

And tbh, even if they were outcrossed with another bully breed (and I don’t think they typically are), all the bully breeds are known for being sweet and gentle and tolerant with people overall generally speaking so it really shouldn’t make much difference at all.

The issues around bull breeds come when they are crossed with guarding type dogs . These dogs do not make the best of temperaments and that's where issues arise

Bull breeds in pure form have fantastic temperaments unfortunately too many clueless idiots cross breed them and create a nightmare

Indoctro · 25/06/2021 13:37

@tishpish

Really helpful messages thank you , we are going to view a litter of cocker spaniels this weekend they aren't ready until august but few questions if anyone can help is there much difference in temperament between boys an girls? Mil is telling me bitches are awful and to avoid at all costs I would like a girl to even things up in the house although we have no real preference.
My friend is a established working cocker breeder and will not sell these dogs to family homes , only working gun dog homes or agility type homes

She is very experienced with the breed and says they do not make good family pets as need high stimulation to be happy healthy dogs , something your average family can't offer them

I would think long and hard about a cocker spaniel

FawkesThePhoenix · 25/06/2021 13:38

@Indoctro

Thank you x

Powertothepetal · 25/06/2021 13:42

This is absolute nonsense they are breeding for temperament due to the dangerous dogs act in uk and going anything possible to keep this breed from ending up on it. Perhaps you are taking about other breed show people but Stafford ones are breeding the best temperament they can and for a very good reason, to protect the breed as in its true form it's a fantastic temperament of a dog and excellent with kids
Hmm.
I am not at all convinced as to the motives of show breeders tbh.

Maybe you are right and the Staffords are the exception due to the appalling media stereotype and DDA, maybe not, but my overall impression of show breeders (of all breeds) is that conformation/looking as close to the standard as possible is top priority and temperament is secondary to the right look.

That viewpoint has been confirmed to me seeing dogs in the ring winning who shouldn’t have been placed (due to nervous and/or aggressive temperament) and meeting dogs of ‘top lines’ with horrible temperaments.

Pre covid i’d far rather seek a genuine, home bred puppy from an average, busy family home than a KC show breeder.
Now with all the scams and crazy prices leading to people putting any old bitch and dog together I’m not so sure.

karcheer · 25/06/2021 13:49

How about something like a Bearded Collie?

Powertothepetal · 25/06/2021 13:50

The issues around bull breeds come when they are crossed with guarding type dogs . These dogs do not make the best of temperaments and that's where issues arise
Which ‘other bully breeds’ are you referring to here?
The ‘bully breeds’ as in the terriers; Staffy, English bull terrier, American Pit bull etc

Or are you including the molosser/mastiff types that look like big bull terriers in there; like the cane corsos, boerbells etc?

Very few ‘guarding’ breeds are really used for that purpose anymore and if a Staffy was crossed with one of the few that are, like the cane corsos or presa’s etc I imagine that would look much more mastiff like and not at all recognisably Staffy?
The size difference alone is immense.

Bull breeds in pure form have fantastic temperaments unfortunately too many clueless idiots cross breed them and create a nightmare
I mean, I agree with the clueless idiots bit, but a lot of the big molosser/mastiff types are also well known to be child friendly generally speaking.

1starwars2 · 25/06/2021 13:54

They don't like them on mumsnet, but I love my poodle cross, and she is great with children, cats etc

The key thing is avoiding unscrupulous breeders. Do your research and insist of health test info for the parent dogs BEFORE you see the puppies.

It's virtually impossible to visit a litter of puppies and not get one (because they will be gorgeous). Do your research before you meet them.

PiuVinoPerFavore · 25/06/2021 14:17

Cocker Spaniels are hard work, you need to dedicate plenty time to them. King Charles spaniels have health issues. Border Terriers are excellent family dogs and love long walks but less hyperactive than spaniels.

grannycake · 25/06/2021 14:26

Have you looked at Border Terriers. They are hardy, happy to walk for miles or just two walks a day - I walk ours for about 90 mins in total. Extremely good with children, a manageable size and (mine at least) gets on well with a huge range of othe dogs. They are also reasonably easy to train

Travielkapelka · 25/06/2021 14:31

Another one saying something which is absolutely forbidden on this board and that’s to look at a poodle cross or even a poodle. I have a toy cavapoo, He’s the happiest friendliest dog. He’s happy with a 20 minute walk or a few hours out. His size means he’s easy to take out and about and not a fortune to feed. He’s really cuddly but great fun. You do need to search for ethical breeders, do message me for names if you want and make sure they’re properly health checked but couldn’t recommend them enough,

Ps I know this post is going to get shredded but it’s another option

Ladylokidoki · 25/06/2021 14:42

I haven't been on these boards for a while.

My understanding that it wasn't poodle crosses that weren't liked.

It was the fact that it extremely difficult to find a responsible breeder for poodle crosses and that owners end up with dogs almost completely different to what they expect.

So people thinking their f1b reverse cavapoo is guaranteed not to shed because their breeder said so.

Is it different lately, that people dislike the actual dogs? Rather than the breeding. because I have always liked the cockapoos/Australian labradoodles/Cavapoos that I have met. No more bouncy or manic than spaniels.

Infact, we have been considering a cavapoo for our next one, but usually have spaniels. I just won't get one until I feel I am relative knowledgeable on the breed. So I feel comfortable picking a breeder.

JoesM12 · 25/06/2021 14:48

We have a blue roan cocker spaniel. She's wonderful. We got her at 8 weeks when my oldest daughter was 18 months. She is now 4 1/2 and they are now best of friends. We also now have a 10 week old and she is great around the baby too.
She does have a lot of energy when we are out but is actually quite relaxed most of the time at home. She's a really good size for our home, not as big as a springer so doesn't take up the whole sofa, can sit on your lap comfortably, easy to lift into the car etc. All small things but a friend of mine has a Dalmatian with a baby the same age and they struggle with all those things because he's so huge!! Also if my 4 year old daughter is playing with her she isn't big enough to cause any accidental harm by knocking her down etc. She was a little nippy as a puppy but that stopped as soon as she stopped teething.
She's very intelligent so was incredibly easy to train. I couldn't recommend her breed more for families.

Blueballinthegarden · 25/06/2021 14:49

We had mini schnauzer bitches when I was a teen, lovely girls with great personalities but totally different temperaments. The older one was fantastic with everyone, loved children and would play endlessly, whilst the younger one was less trustworthy despite never hurting anyone.
Pro’s - portable, non shedding, would be content with a shorter walk if time didn’t permit but would go all day long - we were very outdoorsy kids so they were dragged along everywhere.
Con’s - VERY gobby, always need to have the last word and provide a very thorough food disposal service.

cherryberrylicious · 25/06/2021 14:52

We have a show cocker she's 7 months now, lovely breed temperament. Perfect for our family.