DC scared of puppy

[Nordstrom]

We have a 10 week old puppy and the dc (8 and 4) are scared of her (understandably she's a bitey, jumpy little bugger), to the point where they try to ensure they only come into the kitchen/diner if she's asleep.

What we are doing...

She is gated in the kitchen at the moment so they have their own space in the living room

Keep reinforcing the best approach i.e. make like a tree if she jumps at you and we won't let her continue to do it if she does

Encouraging positive managed interactions such as trips out in the car/on foot (she's not allowed down yet), feeding her treats and help training and stroking her when she's calm.

They understand all the theory and that this is normal puppy development, but it doesn't stop them being terrified! So they are just avoiding her . I just can't see a point when they will feel totally relaxed to walk into a room where she's pottering around.

Please tell me it gets better with time? Or if there is anything I could be doing better to help this transition?

Make sure every single time it jumps up or front paws up to you even when tiny, it's a firm no and stay down. They soon pick it up and learn to greet you whilst on 4 paws.

Every time she mouths you replace with a toy or something she is allowed to chew. With a firm ouch and no biting if she gets you.

You must have only had it a short time. Kids will soon come round if you take the time to train well

My children are slightly older. Puppy is now 5 months. To be honest the children had very little interaction in the early days. Myself and dh took turns monitoring puppy in the kitchen. when she is calmer (first thing in morning tended to be better) they came in to say hello. If puppy bites at all say no firmly and everyone leave a the room for about 30 seconds. It is getting better but even now when she is a bit more hyper in the evening I tend to prepare their supper and give it to them in living room. As just the sight of children seems to get her hyped up -she just wants to play

I didn’t normally bother getting kids to give treats. It just gets puppy more excited

@bullyingadvice2017

Make sure every single time it jumps up or front paws up to you even when tiny, it's a firm no and stay down. They soon pick it up and learn to greet you whilst on 4 paws.

Every time she mouths you replace with a toy or something she is allowed to chew. With a firm ouch and no biting if she gets you.

You must have only had it a short time. Kids will soon come round if you take the time to train well

Don't reinforce jumping with verbal and tactile contact. That will only reinforce it.

OP the be a tree technique is absolutely correct.

Why are you children scared? What are they worried about? What kind of puppy contact have they previously had?
I'd say it's unusual for 2 children to be so worried. Are they generally anxious?

I think keep separate if they're anxious and work up to calm interaction - perhaps quiet stroking when pup is tired
Please research safe dog-child interactions and canine stress signals to prevent issues in future.
Mostly - just hang in there, it's very early days

Thank you for these responses

@Veterinari we have had her for 2 weeks. The dc have had limited experience with puppies - mainly older dogs. The youngest was quite fearful for a while but had been indifferent to friends' dogs more recently. The eldest adores dogs and regularly stage me over to anyone walking a huge dog in the street so we can ask if it's okay to greet it!

I think the reality of how unpredictable and bouncy the puppy is has been a shock. We have teenage dc too and perhaps their less than ideal reaction to a nip or having their socks/clothes ragged has contributed to their anxiety...

The early days are very bitey. Or they were for us. You probably have another month of quite full on biting especially in the evening. Just keep the children separate from puppy until it have calmed down a bit.

No advice as such but DD was 7 when we got our puppy and she was absolutely, and unexpectedly terrified! She retreated to her room and didn't have anything at all to do with him. Took about 2 weeks and in the third week she started to slowly come round. Since then she has absolutely adored him and there have been no further issues.

Give your DC time, let them interact with the pup on their own terms rather than forcing them together (not that you would) As with a lot of things in parenting, this too shall pass!

Thanks. Some reassuring words here.

It's interesting to read about the conflicting views of puppy biting, with some advocating 'yelping' and withdrawing attention, yet others suggest making any sound will only serve to stimulate them further and so you should take biting as a request to play and should initiate tug of war or similar.

I have read that it is better to intercept biting before it starts. So if you think pup will start biting give them toy first. Otherwise they get in to habit of biting to initiate play.

We just respond to biting by leaving the room and ignoring

I’d not allow children to interact unless pup is calm. If you have baby gates play through those with a long tug toy. Children are unpredictable and exciting to little puppies.
We wore wellies inside so it was easier not to react and also preemptive play by you. When the puppy understands play through a toy then get the children involved m. Some great advice here
drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/kids-and-dogs-how-kids-should-and-should-not-interact-with-dogs/?fbclid=IwAR17BzBy5L5b3Y-7DKfEfQYv7nUKdqTHwFz7KFc8Kh691mEajEhintZGalA
And here
m.youtube.com/watch?v=DuA7SZ_XPSU&t=10s&fbclid=IwAR2YBmKYJ6I6nvbGIBfa9fGnZUtwn-ieAHiRcbVVSoredVWzG-v9VxneP4o

Can I was type of dog it is. I'd make sure they kids only interact when the dog is calm. And when they're at school I'd be working on calming the dog.

Dd is starting to get better and is confident to be in the room with puppy when she's calm (and rightly avoids when she knows she's getting over-stimulated/tired)

Ds on the other hand seems to be getting worse 😩. He's point blank refusing to enter the same room most of the time unless she's fast asleep.

@MaryJosephJesusAndTheWeeDonkey she's a Bernese Mountain dog, so I know with good socialisation and training she should be wonderful with children eventually.

It will settle Nordstrom I am sure once the bitey phase has passed

Have the pup on a lead when around DS for a while so he has the confidence to know he can get away without little shark teeth chasing and nipping his ankles. Initially hold the lead but once DS feels happier, the have the puppy wear the lead trailing on the floor so an adult can go and get the puppy easily to interrupt over zealous behaviour.
Giving the pup a Kong and teaching it calmness around the children will also help both the pup lean how to behave and show the children that the puppy can be kept calm, which will help their confidence

I'll ask that annoying but important question, are you doing puppy school of any kind, OP? Do it and bring the children. I found this invaluable! Though this is many years ago now, so I don't know if puppy school is even up and running in the current climate.
Do look into this. You can bring the two younger ones along to the lessons. That's what I did.

Children and puppies are a terrible combination. It wasn’t until we got a puppy I realised why shelters won’t rehome to families with little kids.

It’ll get better. My kids adore the dog now but there were a few difficult months and I really struggled

Train the puppy to sit rather than to jump. I did this with mine from behind a stairgate so he got absolutely nothing for jumping. Stand with a treat in hand and wait for him to sit (it could take a while and he'll probably offer up an absolute multitude of other behaviours first). As soon as he sits, hand him the treat. Then repeat. Until he sits as soon as you walk into the room. At this point, have the kids come with you. Again, they don't need to do anything. Just stand safely the other side of the stairgate and wait for that sit, then chuck him a treat. I found this a great way of both building my kids confidence with my puppy when I got him but also teaching the puppy that jumping is absolutely NEVER the answer. If he's ever unsure of anything nowadays he sits. If he sees a new person, he sits. It's such a powerful thing to have a dog sit rather than lunge and jump.

My kids are 2 and 4 and my puppy's a Huntaway (10 months old now and 30kg!) so I was super firm on manners right from the start as I knew he'd be big and didn't want the kids being knocked over.

Good luck! :)

Mine used to scream and hide on the top of the armchair when the puppy came in the room. He was bouncy and had very sharp teeth!

Here they are now (she was poorly). They share a bed and snuggle and she sneaks him bits of her pancake.

It really improved when he was about 12 months old (although we’d done lots of stuff to try and improve things before then).

No idea why you got a photo of my lunch too!

Thanks everyone, some really helpful advice.

@TheVanguardSix I am in the process of sorting classes.

@Peace43 that is lovely to see (and a very nice looking lunch too )

@Nordstrom

Dd is starting to get better and is confident to be in the room with puppy when she's calm (and rightly avoids when she knows she's getting over-stimulated/tired)

Ds on the other hand seems to be getting worse 😩. He's point blank refusing to enter the same room most of the time unless she's fast asleep.

@MaryJosephJesusAndTheWeeDonkey she's a Bernese Mountain dog, so I know with good socialisation and training she should be wonderful with children eventually.

What age is DS? Honestly OP give it time, he'll get there. Does he have any friends who like dogs? A bit of social learning/peer pressure might help?

Be prepared for a long haul though a Bernese will likely go through a bouncy/frustrating puberty period.
Gorgeous breed though!