My beautiful loyal loving dog was pts yesterday and I'm heartbroken

[hogu]

When does it get easier?
I feel full of hurt and guilt for letting her go, it all seems surreal and I'm heartbroken.

She was an old girl and had stage 4 kidney failure diagnosed a few months ago. She was doing really well up until the past 2 weeks then she just stopped eating. I was syringing food into her but I couldn't get her to take much. She wouldn't even take anything to have her tablets in so I've been forcing them in her throat which has been awful. I could see she must have been suffering but I still feel racked with guilt and pain at her going.

@viques- wonderful, moving post.

Op, she is absolutely lovely, I’m so sorry for your loss. 💐

Such lovely replies, I've read them all twice and will read them a few more times hoping they start to sink in.

She was the most gentle loving soul, I've never had anyone love me as much as she did, she really taught me what unconditional love, loyalty and devotion is. I've not stopped crying since Monday, the evenings are worse as that's when my little boy goes to bed and she gets excited as she has me all to herself.

My poor baby 💔

@hogu My darling girl went less than 24 hours after she first showed signs of being ill. The specialist told me that he was at peace with his decision to pts and that her suffering would become mine. That is what you are going through now. You are in pain so she can't be. It's the most loving and painful thing you can do for your beloved pet. I'm 3 weeks on now and cry every day, I miss her so much. But I don't feel guilty. No matter how much it hurts me to be without her, I know it was the right time. If you are on FB, look up the Ralph Site Pet Loss Support Group - there are a lot of people on there like us that are devastated and supporting each other. Sending you peace x

Oh, sweet girl - she looks so lovely, and so well cared fot. I am so sorry. There's no pain quite like it - we lost our old boy to kidney failure two years ago and it was awful. It's absolutely the kindest thing, though, and you have no reason to feel guilty - you have taken on this immense pain so that she doesn't have to, and that's the most loving act imaginable. Try to focus on the lovely things you did together and all the joy you brought each other. You will miss her horribly but it does get easier with time, I promise.

If there's one thing I've taken from this post it's thinking that I've taken her suffering so she doesn't have to. I keep telling myself that over and over again and it's comforting.
I still feel guilty, im full of it and I'm not sure that will ever go.

Hi @hogu, I've been thinking about you. Take each day as it comes. It will get easier in time. The grief and guilt you are feeling are a sign of your love for your gorgeous girl and how much she meant to you.

What a beautiful girl

I am so sorry @hogu

She was absolutely beautiful. What a sweet face. You hurt now because you had so much love, so much happiness with her. And you were so brave to not allow her to continue on in pain. May her memory always be a blessing to you. I am thinking of you and sending you so much love and support as you grieve.

Thank you, she was absolutely beautiful inside & out.

I collected her ashes this morning so I have something to focus on as I'm going to scatter some at her favourite park & in the garden, make a keepsake with some others then keep the rest in the house.

The crematorium gave me some forget me not seeds and the vets gave me some Daisy seeds, can these be put in a pot in the garden? I'd like to get a special pot for them ideally. Or do they need to be scattered instead?

So sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful girl x

My lovely old boy crossed the bridge 10 days ago now, it still hurts so much but we can also smile at the memories of things we did together over the 14 years he was with us. They look quite well suited x

@HostessTrolley My heart skipped a beat for a second, they look very similar. Both heart melters.
So sorry to hear about your beautiful boy, hope you are coping a little better than me and the tears have slowed down a bit x

I'm so sorry for your loss she looks so beautiful in your photo.
Do you have any funny/fond memories of her from over the years?
Don't feel guilty you have given her so many wonderful happy years and didn't let her suffer as she would of if you hadn't done the right thing. She's in peace now x

Op, it’s the most awful thing ever. I had my beautiful golden retriever pts last may. He wasn’t well at all and in pain/suffering. You do feel guilty but saving them from that
Is the kindest thing. Even though you feel like your heart has been ripped out. My poor sister lost her very young dog recently and she’s lost without him.
Thinking of you, you’ll always remember your lovely dog and I still cry for my boy but it gets better they just leave a huge hole in the family

As previous posters have said, you're suffering so she doesn't have to. What a beautiful gentle dog with such a twinkle in her eye.

I am so sorry for your immense loss.

@hogu - it’s a little easier but it catches me at random times, like realising I don’t need to hoover the dog hair as often or saying ‘I’ll just feed the dogs’ and realising there’s only one breakfast to be made :(

I know that we did the best we could for him by making the decision when we did, it was also shocking to me how quickly he slipped away - I mean, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way for him, he was calm and cuddled, but it shocked me really.

My other dog is 7, we got her as a rescue and Jet was already here. She’s struggling and is mopey and off her food. It’s going to take time for her to adjust.

It sounds a bit weird but last weekend I saw a sleeping labrador garden ornament in a shop. It’s now under the tree in the corner of our garden, our boy used to lay there if I put the grill on as he didn’t like the smoke alarm going off

Just popping on to say I feel for you OP, I truly do. Nobody quite understands unless they've had a bond like you had with her. I understand. Sending you a big hug

@YouDoIDo

My funniest but most embarrassing moment was when she pinched some food off someone's picnic in our local park - it was both mortifying and hilarious! I carefully herded her past the food with her nose twitching and thought we were in safe distance past it then she doubled back and swiped it before I could stop her!

@HostessTrolley me too, the shock of how quickly it happened still haunts me although like you say I wouldn't have wanted it to be longer for her sake. I just wasn't prepared and didn't know what to expect. I relive it constantly everyday. I'd give anything to have her back with me. The hole she has left is huge.

I'm making myself a keepsake with her ashes and have ordered a sculpture to be made of her to keep in the garden. I'm hoping they both bring some comfort

So sorry op. I've got to take my old man this week and I'm dreading it. Been agonising for a few weeks when the right time is but he's deteriorated quite a lot and hardly moves now. Unfortunately he bit me at the weekend and I've ended up having surgery on my hand so o know I'm making the right decision.....it's just going it that's the hardest. Hugs to you

@Tanfastic Oh no that's just awful, I'm so sorry 😢😢

Thanks op, how are you feeling. I'm totally heartbroken today, feel so empty inside now he's gone. I don't know when the tears will end.

@Tanfastic The same, I feel so empty and my heart keeps sinking everytime I think I can hear her. I can't see me ever getting over her, she was my best friend 💔