How should a non dog owner deal with strange dogs?

[WrongWayApricot]

Hi, sorry for a long post, not sure what to include or leave out. I have never owned a dog and haven't spent much time around them. Lately when I take my son to the park there are more dogs off lead with either no owner in sight or ignoring their owner. They have run up to my son twice now and I don't really know how to handle it, I'd love some advice on how to keep him safe.

So far it's only happened twice. The first one was a medium/big dog. Couldn't see the owner at all. I picked up my son and it was jumping up but wasn't barking just sort of snapping. When it was jumping it's head was at shoulder height on me and it didn't stop the whole time. Whichever way I turned it came round to be on the side my son was. The other person we were with tried to say 'down' but that didn't work. In the end they thew a stick and when it went back in the woods we walked away as fast as we could without running.

Second time I was on my own and it was a smaller dog that was growling at my son, I hadn't even noticed it until it was very close. I tried doing what my friend did and shouted down and stay. It stopped coming closer but was still growling. Then it's owner shouted out it's name, they weren't in the park they were up the road. The dog didn't go back but I was trying to walk back slowly with my son picked up. There weren't any sticks to throw this time. The dog found another dog then and went over to play with it instead.

My concern is that I think both times I've been lucky, first that my friend was there who had dogs as a kid, the second that another dog was more interesting than my son. I realised I have no idea what to do and it makes me scared, which will probably make it worse next time. I tried to avoid it because the first time was in woodland, so I started going to the tiny park nearby but it happened there too. I don't think there are any parks near me that don't allow dogs. So are there any techniques or tips I can use if this happens again please? And if everything goes wrong how can I stop my son getting bitten? I usually quite like dogs but I'm starting to get so anxious when I see a dog off lead without an owner nearby and I don't want to teach my son to be scared of dogs by reacting badly.

That sounds bad . I think if the places you are going are prone to having dog owners like that I would avoid them? Not sure much else you can do really. A shame obviously to restrict where you go

Dreadful behaviour on behalf of the dog owners.

Is there a dog warden for your area you could contact?

Get a dog dazer.

You shouldn’t have to. That’s awful!
I had nervous kids and we did a Blue Cross course. They teach the X factor. Head down and arms crossed. Stay still and be boring.
For a really young child I would be tempted to cuddle them into your legs but not pick up as a dog may jump up at you.
Shout at the owner to recall their dog.
Report if necessary.

Thanks for the replies and advice all. I think there is a dog warden, I'll try to look up a number for them. The dog dazer looks like I could easily have that in my pocket in case we needed it, I've never heard of one before. And the x factor thing is great to know, my son is just coming to 3 yo so I'd try to keep him tucked in close. It might be good for me to go on a similar course.

Really thanks for the tips, I'll feel a lot better about it now. It is a shame that it's been happening, but as long as I have some idea of how to get out of it and not make it worse I hope we'll be okay now. All I could think of was my Dad telling me years ago they know if you're scared, so I was trying not to be but it was so hard when it was happening.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It's very irresponsible of the owners. In general if I'd advise ignoring dogs and turning your back if they approach. I get my (super friendly) dog on a lead if I see/hear children ahead but generally if you ignore her she'll ignore you.

I've not got time to write a full response right now, but while you seem to have been unlucky with recent dog interactions, you would have to be spectacularly unlucky for a dog to approach you and then bite. The vast, vast, vast majority of dogs will only bite if they're very scared - and before that point they'll have tried running away and / or barking at the scary thing to make it go away.

One thing that jumped out at me was that you've no real experience with dogs. It would be worth watching some YouTube videos on dog body language, to help you recognise what each dog is trying to tell you. For instance, it's common for dogs to use both growling and barking during play - context is everything! For instance, a dog that has the hips up and front quarters down is doing a "play bow" and has firmly playful intentions - but may also be barking because it's excited or trying to induce play.

Badly trained dogs that jump up because they want attention / try and eat your picnic / don't come back when their owners call them are irritatingly common. Dogs that run up and attack a human for no reason are vanishingly rare.

My dog can get funny about other dogs jumping up at me and so snap to warn them (I don't care, DDog evidently does for unknown reasons) so I try and reduce the risk of this happening. If there's a dog that wants to jump up at me, I stay quiet, turn away from the dog, and keep my hands to myself. They always rapidly decide that I'm incredibly boring and therefore leave me in peace.

I avoid taking my grandchild to the park for this very reason. We just could not get peace from dogs and the owners just have no control and don't give a monkeys, or it's ' it'll no touch you' . In the end I go to non dog places. I'd also like to add my grandchild has a dog. The situation has led to my grandchild being frightened of strange dogs. Also most people these days don't seem to have the usual family pets. It's all malamutes or huge mastiff type dogs. The owners are oblivious that these dogs look huge to a child, but we are all meant to love dogs whether we want it or not. Lockdown has just made this ten times worse. So many people with dogs who are clueless about training them. My neighbours have dogs that bark for hours, what does it matter to them that we all have this constant barking to tolerate?

You should not have to tolerate this.

I am disabled and walk with a stick - if a dog jumps up at me it could knock me right over with ease.

I feel that uncontrolled dogs are becoming more prevalent. It certainly seems that way round here.

I think first you tell the dog very firmly to sit. It’s often one of the few instructions lazy owners teach pupil because it’s cute. You need a firm voice with strange dogs.

Then you tell the owner to recall their dog and get it on a lead if it intent on approaching people or your on lead dog.

You’ll get idiots telling you it’s friendly but law is that if a dog behaves in a way that makes you feel frightened it is considered dangerous. The Dangerous Dogs Act makes it an offence if a person is worried or afraid (the term is 'reasonable apprehension') that a dog may bite them.

Make the owner very aware of this.

How difficult for you! Here in London parks we have dogs off the lead and when they were puppies the main issue was people bring their toddlers over to the dogs because they wanted their children to socialise with them, this was when they were small puppies so very cute, but the puppies would essentially ignore the children to play with each other and the parents would be putting their children in the centre of this and it made me so worried that a puppy would accidentally nip a child in the middle of puppy play time.

I’ve never seen dogs in parks near me approach children aggressively out of the blue, I would echo that lifting your child up would probably encourage a dog to jump however - and the only time our dog has jumped near a child has been because this has happened (not a stranger but we met friends and one was holding a baby and she jumped up as curious, obviously I was mortified and she was pulled back).

Your body language is a big part of it, if I had my child and a dog approached I would bring child close to my body in a subtle way but not yank them up and stand wide stance and confident, say “hello” to dog in a cheerful way, say confident cheerful things like “where is your owner then? Look at you!” Etc and perhaps offer my hand for the dog to sniff. I would also model this confident behaviour for my child.

Most times what will happen is the dog will say hello, have a curious sniff and be on their way.

Obviously this doesn’t apply in a situation of danger, but the likelihood of being in a recreational park with a dog that’s off lead and also actually aggressive are really really low if you are in the UK? Not sure where you live though, but here although you might have a dog bounding over to you, this isn’t likely to be aggression but saying just hello.

But yes as poster said above if you were in a situation of being jumped at aggressively then a loud sit with a pointing motion with hand to sit is a command that 99% of dogs know.

The Dogs Trust used to, hopefully still do, courses for families about dogs, that include what to do if an unwelcome dog approaches you: basically be very boring. Don't shout, throw anything or wave your arms.
But the dog owners are really the problem.
Are there any parks with enclosed play areas?

In both the situations you describe, the dog should have been under better control. My dog is well socialised with children, but I would always try to have him on the lead if we were approaching small children on in an area that they were likely to be, like a park, as it is so easy for them to be knocked over or scared by a dog.

On the flip side, I think it is unrealistic to think you will never be approached by a strange dog, so the best thing to do is to be as calm and uninteresting/uninterested as possible. Teach your son not to approach/touch strange dogs and depending on his age, ideally let him get to know a well behaved dog, so he learns not to be afraid of them. I think the chances of an unprovoked dog attack out of the blue are very low, but I understand your concerns. My own son became very frightened of dogs (he had poor balance and was knocked over several times) and this led to a situation where he would squeal/fuss etc, which in turn made the dog more likely to react (jump up/bark etc) - this is what you want to avoid!

I am lucky in that I have experience with dogs and have learnt to read their body language, but despite this we have had a number of negative situations with them out on walks. I think that picking your son up in the situations you describe would be the right thing to do with a small dog like a Jack Russell, but may make the dog more likely to jump up, so probably best avoided with a medium or large dog.

DeathByWalkies yes, not knowing what the dog is communicating has made me feel worse I think. Having read what you said I think the smaller dog was definitely trying to play with my son now, it had it's hips up and front down. The growling is what made me nervous but now I know they can growl and want to play I can understand. I still wouldn't have encouraged my son to play because the owner wasn't there but I'd have definitely been less worried. Thanks for the YouTube video tips, I think I'll feel a lot more confident if I know what the dog is doing.

The reassurance from you guys that the dogs are unlikely to bite helps a lot too. They probably just want to play with the small, squeaky person that's with me!

Dogoodfeelgood this was my concern as well, that my reaction and body language will make it worse. I'm from London and moved just on the edge of it a few years ago. I don't remember dogs coming up to me before in the park like this, I think it might be that I've never had a toddler with me until now.

1starwars2 we do have gated off play parks but we also like to have a walk or play and run about on the field parts. I will have a look at the dogs trust to see if there's any classes we can do.

Gothichouse40 and landofgiants I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences too. It's really sad that those experiences can make children frightened of dogs when seeing dogs when out could be and should be fun for them. And yeah, I won't be picking him up anymore when they come over I'll just keep him tucked in close instead.

LemonRoses I didn't know that about the dangerous dogs act, thanks for letting me know.

Thanks everyone, feeling a lot better about it now.