Rescue dog - settling in and bonding?

[WagsPlease]

I've name-changed as this will be totally outing to the many people who know about our journey so far with our rescue dog.

It's early days with our rescue dog, who came over from Greece two weeks ago. Not a street dog, and not mistreated. But severely traumatised, I think, by leaving his home and the journey. He's very fearful. Not reactive at all (in fact, I've not heard him make a sound apart from snoring since he got here!), but incredibly submissive. He was submissive urinating whenever we approached him (e.g. to put a lead on him to take him outside) or if someone came to the door (including us), but that seems to have got better in the last day or so. But he's not really showing any other signs of feeling comfortable with us (he won't approach us at all, even for treats), all the usual signs of stress if we approach him (whale eyes, lip licking, lies on his back). We're doing all the recommended stuff of giving him space, dropping treats on his bed, kids (8 & 5) know to leave him alone (he has a 'safe space' under our stairs that he spends all his time in), etc. The only time he's really come out of his shell is when a friend came round with two dogs - he was like a different dog around them and it was lovely to see. He was also much more open with my friend than me - he would approach her and sit by her in a way he never does us.

I've had some advice from a behaviourist (basically leave him alone!) and I'm part of a very supportive online group of other owners who rehomed dogs through the same rescue, although the rescue itself doesn't offer any direct support (that's another thread). I suppose my question is whether anyone has experienced similar and how long it took your dog to come out of its shell and to start trusting you/ develop a bond? Any other tips?

Genuinely the best thing you can do is ignore him. It may be weeks or months before he decides you're safe to be around.
You could try sitting on the floor with your back to him. He may come and have a sniff at you. If he does, don't respond but just let him take his time.

Two weeks is still really early days. My dog was very withdrawn when she came out of kennels. Ran away but was found after a couple of hours. Very gradually came out of her shell. She's still quite skittish and easily frightened after 5 years sadly but sweet and affectionate too.

My little Romanian dog was/is a very submissive, nervous dog. She was also very friendly at the same time. She took a long time to be relaxed and still does the cower/wee thing occasionally, even after six years. Yet she was happy pretty quickly. We had other dogs, which helped. She relaxed with them before coming to make friends with us. Give him time. His whole world has changed. It must be daunting.

It’s very early days. Our GSD didn’t bark for a few weeks....the first time she did we were all delighted and soppy over it - it soon passes lol.
Have a look at this poster

Yes, I've read lots about the 3-3-3 thing for rescue dogs. He hasn't really followed that pattern so far as in it took him much longer than 3 days to decompress, I think. But we probably weren't helping things at the beginning as we were trying to get him into a routine of going outside to pee/poo when all it did was terrify him (and he wouldn't pee and poo outside anyway).

I think he'd probably be doing much better in a home with resident dogs @Honeyroar, as he really did come alive when the other dogs came round a few days ago. I've tried to set up some more dog playdates, as I think that would help build his confidence, but everyone who said they'd come over has flaked on me so far

Definitely leave the DDog alone and let him come to you, and two weeks is really really really days. Your dog needs to feel in control of what's happening to him, and happily you seem pretty clued up.

I think it took DDog (UK rescue) the best part of a year to start actively seeking physical affection from me on a routine basis. For a long time he'd want to be near me, but not actually within finger touching distance - for instance, if I was on my laptop in bed he'd sit by my feet. Later he progressed to sleeping under the duvet and now he wants to sit on the laptop and lick my face

I did have one particular dilemma - I needed to be able to pick him up, so I could take him on the escalator in the tube station (no lift access and I couldn't manage 113 spiral stairs, a suitcase and a dog!). Unfortunately, he just couldn't tolerate it. We got there within a reasonable period of time - and the method I used was that the second he started wiggling, I put him down, so he knew he was in control of the situation. Knowing he had an escape route meant he felt able to tolerate being picked up for longer, as he knew he wouldn't be pushed beyond his comfort zone. Like many dogs, he still doesn't love being picked up, but he can now tolerate it for very practical periods of time. I'm not suggesting you start picking up your dog by the way, I'm just showing that a dog that feels listened to will learn!

To this day (and I can't see it ever changing after about 3.5 years) he is very neutral towards people he doesn't know, and takes a long time to get to know people. It does have some advantages - he's only ever jumped up at one person in the park and that was because she was training her dog using raw mince! He just has a small (but intense) social circle.

It's not uncommon for nervous dogs to perceive people who have dogs with them as being "safe" so you're not outside the bounds of normality there either.

Honestly, keep doing what you're doing. Ddog will get there eventually!

Leave him to his own devices. One of mine was the same it took him a couple of weeks to settle in the home and a few month to settle in properly. He followed me round after a few days. I started the toilet training straight away but only when I felt he was more confident did I start with basic training like sit. It was months until he came out of his shell. Now he's an ongoing project as I say as he does not like strangers. I've progressed with desensitisation and he can be at a distance with strangers but once they get too close he will get aggressive. I muzzle trained him as I don't think he's going to change. He has a distrust of humans other than our family other than that he's a great dog.