Sleep - or lack of!

[pistachioicecream]

We've had the most awful night with our nearly 13 month old Lagotto.
Normal routine yesterday, ate well, usual walks, playtime etc, went out for usual bedtime wee about 10.30pm. Bedtime biscuits and bed afterwards.

Her bed is in a pen in my study. I sit in there with her until she's asleep. I know this is a terrible habit but she doesn't settle if I don't so this and keeps everyone awake barking. She's usually asleep by about 11 and then usually after that she sleeps through until 7am. In an ideal world we'd like that it be a bit later but it's not too bad.

Last night though she woke at 1am barking and was awake until 2.30am!! In that time DH went down to her twice, took her out to see if she needed a wee and then put her straight back to bed. But she just kept barking and whining and wouldn't settle. So eventually I went down and took her out to see if she needed a poo but she just wanted to play - went off and found a ball hidden in the garden and brought it back to me!!! er no!! Little toad.

Put her back to bed, which she was not happy about so I sat with her again until she was asleep. I got back to bed at 2.30am and she woke up again at 6.30!! Seriously?!"£ What was going on???

I usually try not to go down in the middle of the night. She's far too attached to me and we don't want her to get in the habit of barking and getting me in the middle of the night. She doesn't often wake up in the night but if she does usually she'll go straight back to bed if DH goes down and she realises I'm not coming. But last night for some reason she just wouldn't settle.

What were we doing wrong? Any tips gratefully received. We can't do that regularly.....

It could be that she could smell something in the garden? Or is she coming into season?

We don’t think she’s actually had a season yet. Or if she has we’ve missed it. Is that something that would that disturb her sleep? She’s my first dog so everything is new.

My first thought was coming into season too but anything could have disturbed her, perhaps a noise from the garden.

You need to try to stop sitting with her otherwise you'll be doing it forever.

When you say pen, is that a crate, and is she shut in all night. She's quite old to be shut all night if you are shutting her in the pen.

Most dogs like to move around at night she might not like being confined. Could she not just be in your study without the pen?

Does she go to bed at what would normally be your bed time? If so, if you were willing, you could try having her bed in your bedroom, which might help her settle more easily and help her to sleep through.

Goodness, just read my post back, sorry it's so badly written, I was writing as I was thinking. Hope it makes sense.

I have a 13 month old lurcher who was also very unsettled last night. We put it down to the weather (guessing) because he had been very frightened by the storm and seemed very vigilant afterwards. He has never been bothered before so it was horrible to see him so scared.
Hopefully it was just a one off for your ddog - they probably have bad nights occasionally just like us.

Some dogs become unsettled when they're in season so it could well be that if she's not had a season before - she's about the right age for her first one.

I also agree with PP that sitting with her every night before bed is setting yourself up for a lifetime of hassle.

Can you not move her bed into your bedroom at night? I know lots of people don't want the dog in their room but if she's waking frequently in the night and taking half an hour to settle alone, the current situation doesn't seem very practical long-term.

I know the sitting with her is a terrible habit. Just don't know how to break it. She just barks and cries if I just walk out after putting her to bed. Do I just have to ignore her?

It's not a crate; it's one of those Ellie Bo playpen things in the corner of the room. It's large enough that her bed is at the back and there's a section of vet bed at the front so she has space to lie there as well. She moves between the two areas during the night. We have a camera so I can watch her.

The aim eventually is to get rid of the pen entirely and just have her sleep in this room where ever she wants. I just don't know how to get there! I left the gate of the pen open the other night accidentally after
I put her to bed and she just followed me back out the room before I shut the door. How do I get her to stay in bed when I walk out?

Unfortunately there's no way DH would agree to having her in our bedroom. So that's not possible I'm afraid.

It's not that common that she wakes up in the night but I totally agree it's something we need to sort. Ideally she'd just be relaxed in this room until we come down in the morning but we're definitely not there yet.

Hopefully she'll be better tonight - DS has an exam tomorrow morning so definitely needs more sleep than last night.

Thanks for all the replies.

I know the sitting with her is a terrible habit. Just don't know how to break it. She just barks and cries if I just walk out after putting her to bed. Do I just have to ignore her?

In a word, yes. Otherwise all you're doing is teaching her that if she cries and barks, you'll come back. She really needs to learn that barking won't get her what she wants.

The aim eventually is to get rid of the pen entirely and just have her sleep in this room where ever she wants. I just don't know how to get there! I left the gate of the pen open the other night accidentally after I put her to bed and she just followed me back out the room before I shut the door. How do I get her to stay in bed when I walk out?

I would just shut the door on her, to be honest. She's not a puppy anymore - she's one year old and you can't let her dictate your life to this extent. It's not healthy for either of you, to be honest.

Unfortunately there's no way DH would agree to having her in our bedroom. So that's not possible I'm afraid.

Personally I think this would solve all your problems lol, so I would suggest to him that he needs to deal with the consequences of that - he can settle her in the study and sit on the floor with her every night while she falls sleep. If he doesn't want her in your room, he can help her settle on her own in the other room.

I think you have two issues here - the first one is that she does sound a bit spoiled and indulged (not a criticism, I did it with mine too and had to work to undo it all!) and second, your DH doesn't seem to be fully on board with what she needs. Many dogs don't like sleeping on their own at night - that's relatively normal. What does your DH think would be the problem with her sleeping in a pen in a corner of your bedroom?

My dog woke up last night as well! Very unusual for him. I just ignored it to be honest as was so tired, but now wondering if there was something in the air last night for dogs to be unsettled

@cupsofcoffee. She's not a puppy anymore - she's one year old and you can't let her dictate your life to this extent. It's not healthy for either of you, to be honest

I totally agree. It’s not healthy for either of us. I feel trapped by her and that’s not fair as she’s v sweet really. She has inadvertently ended up being a bit spoiled as I was so worried about everything when we first got her. I know I need to tackle it all as well as the nightmare that she’s never been left on her own as there’s always been someone in the house!! Need to get tougher. DS’s A-levels finish tomorrow so I won’t feel so bad about her barking at night and will try to make progress with it all.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I really appreciate it.

How funny @MrsSkrebensky and @XelaM that your dogs were unsettled too. Maybe there was something in the air and she’ll be fine tonight! Hope you have better nights too.

Best of luck and I hope you have a better night tonight

My dog is 8 now but went through a phase of barking In the night for a few days. First thing I would do is come down and totally ignore her first so she didn't make the connection between barking and me appearing. Then I'd take her out into the garden but on a lead, say the wee command and then bring her back in / so the opportunity to relieve herself but not for playing. I also put the radio on in case she was hearing a cat or fox in the garden, and always a lamp on. She got bored of looking for attention fairly quickly.

How did last night go OP?

She has slept better for the last two nights thank you. 11ish-6.45am. So no idea what was going on the other night, it was unusual for her.

We don't come downstairs until 7.15/30ish and haven't gone in to her until she's stopped barking the last couple of days as some people suggested. Just pottered in the kitchen for a few minutes first so she she'd have known I was there. Once she'd stopped I went in to get her up. Will do that from now on too so she doesn't get what she wants from barking. Hopefully that might help.

I'm going to start not sitting with her until she's asleep at the weekend! Fingers crossed....

Then the next big thing to tackle is leaving her on her own

Ours did this when coming into season - she had a hi=eightened sensitivity to everything. Also when she had a false pregnancy.

Ours has the run of the house at night - she sleeps mostly in our room but moves around a lot. Maybe its time to let her have the room.

And cats fighting in the garden - think she wanted to go out and stick up for our boy. Who was losing ... again.

We've really only started leaving ours on her own - she's 18 months - since she was a year old. She'd still not left much. But we built it up gradually.

So now we can go out to the shops and leave her, pop out for a bike ride and leave her or go to the pub and leave her for the night.

She's not happy and has learnt to recognise that if we get up to go out and she doesn't get her lead on and we give her a chew that's us going out without her.

She doesn't bark though and nothing gets chewed.

We've got a dog cam and she mostly just lies down at the top of the stairs.

They do get used to it. But you have to build up. Better that than suddenly having to do it one day.

Glad to hear she slept better OP.

As someone who's had to spend many nights up with an ill dog I know what a killer those broken nights are.

As pp said, when you start leaving her alone take it very slowly for very short periods of time, five minutes at first, and gradually build it up so that she learns that you're coming back.

When you go out do all the things you would do if you were leaving her for an evening: put your shoes on and coat on, pick up your keys etc, bit of a pain but she needs to learn the routine so she knows what to expect, and don't greet her too enthusiastically when you come back in the door. Do the same thing as you're now doing in the morning. Keep everything nice and calm and low key.

Good luck.

Spoke too soon. It’s currently 2.25am and she’s been barking/whining for nearly 45mins. :-(

I’m trying to ignore her and haven’t been downstairs yet but worried she’s going to wake the children or neighbours! We’re in a terraced house. DH is away tonight with work so I can’t send him down.

She doesn’t look distressed on the camera. She lying in her bed but just awake and barking showing no signs of giving up. I think I’m going to have to go and try and get her to be quiet. But isn’t that what she wants? So hard to know what’s the right thing to do.

So I just shushed at her through the microphone and she’s currently stopped and her eyes are closed! Fingers crossed.

Was mildly amusing seeing her do a head tilt when she heard my voice through the camera. It’s on night vision so I could just see her beady eyes move down on one side. Although obv not that amusing given the time.

Don’t hold out much hope that she’s really gone back to sleep but at least it’s a few minutes respite from the noise. Although I’m obviously wide awake now!

Oh dear. She's nor going to give up from the sound of it, you just need to be firm.

Sounds like shushing her worked well though, so I'd stick with that for now.

Whatever you do though, you must not give in and go down to her now. If you do you'll be firmly reinforcing the idea that if she whines and barks enough someone will eventually come down to her.

She's not a puppy and she'll be fine.

Is there any way you can cover the pen with a dark blanket to make it feel more cave like? That can often help a dog to stay asleep at night.

@pigsDOfly Thank you - yes I must be firm now. She did stay asleep after the sushing thankfully. Although I woke every hour thinking I'd heard her barking grr! I think it must have just been ringing in my ears from the hour I'd been listening to it before. Every time I checked the camera she was safely asleep so I was just imagining it.

It was very windy last night so I wondered if that had disturbed her. She did used to have a blanket over the top of the pen but I took it off a few weeks ago in anticipation of trying to get rid of the pen but obv haven't got very far with that. Could try putting it back again to see if that helps.

@BarkingUpTheWrongRoseBush - sounds like you've done brilliantly with getting to be ok being left on her own. Thanks for the tips. I have some holiday over the next couple of weeks so will definitely make a start with it all.

I have a toy poodle, he was never settled downstairs through the night after he outgrew his crate. We said we would never have him upstairs but now we do and he is absolutely brilliant, not a peep.

Perhaps she’s cold it has turned chilly the last few days . Our dog sleeps upstairs and the routine is wee / gravy bone at 10 , on the bed with us watching TV until about midnight and then I carry him into his bedroom and cover him with his blanket ( he sleeps on a double bed ) , kiss goodnight and he gets up around 8 ish . Alternatively perhaps she’s fed up with the pen in the same way as some dogs get fed up with cages , could you put a baby gate on the doorway and see if that helps .

Our girl has been barking the past few nights....we think it's some cats mating nearby...squealing and yowling.