Puppy doubts!

[rikakno]

We have just left our deposit on a beautiful cockerpoo puppy the breeder is absolutely spot on and we have really took our time to find a reputable breeder who cares more about the puppy's than making money!
Anyway I feel so nervous now thinking are we doing the right thing I have 3 children (9,8,4) and we have wanted to add a pet to our family since the youngest was 1.
I think it's a mixture of the unknown nervousness and knowing we won't be able to venture far know that restrictions are being lifted.
Has anyone felt the same is this a normal feeling?
Thanks xx

Just to warn you that this thread may not go particularly well.

By the end of page one, you will be encouraging puppy farms, put the dog in rescue by Christmas and asked repeatedly why you didn’t get a poodle.

Just out of interest..why a cockapoo? I’m only asking because if the breeder cares more about puppies than making money, she probably wouldn’t be breeding cockapoos.

What bunnies said.

I didn't have doubts before but had a lot of regret when we got ours.

They do impact your life unless you don't do a lot of things that you can't take a dog to or have relatives that will look after them at a drop of a hat.

I adore mine and he brings a lot of positives to our life but it was a big upheaval.

@bunniesanddaisies

Just to warn you that this thread may not go particularly well.

By the end of page one, you will be encouraging puppy farms, put the dog in rescue by Christmas and asked repeatedly why you didn’t get a poodle.

Thanks for the heads up! Il answer some questions now The breeder hasn't bred during lockdown she has 3 bitches this is the first litter since jan 2020 so we aren't encouraging puppy farms . We wanted a cockerpoo and not a poodle as my inlaws have a 10 year old cockerpoo and she is the loveliest dog ( of course DH family has put the work in and we will too) but we have always wanted one for our own family due to this xx

Sorry OP I didn’t really mean you had to answer! It was more of a heads up (no answer will be acceptable, so best just to ignore tbh.)

We wanted a cockerpoo and not a poodle as my inlaws have a 10 year old cockerpoo and she is the loveliest dog

But I have 2 DDs, with the same parentage and one is musical and one is sporty.
What makes you think that 2 cockerpoos of different parentage will have similar personalities?

And it starts

Doubts are natural and there are drawbacks, particularly in the puppy months. You’ll never get the perfect dog that just slots in without compromise. But this time next year you will have the perfect family dog if you put the time and effort in now.
I can’t lie, the puppy stage is incredibly hard work and more limiting than having an adult dog in terms of behaviour/where you can go etc. we looked at it as yes, everywhere was starting to open up now, but whenever we got a puppy there was going to be a period of time when we couldn’t all go on a fell walk for a day, or to a family bbq, or round a stately home etc. Missing a dog in the house outweighed all that, so this time next year is our mantra for now!

With a crossbreed, you cannot be sure what the developers g will look like, what the coat will be like, or what breed traits will show (all on top of the natural variation of temperaments between individuals)

Chances are, you'll be fine, especially if the puppies are raised in a home environment and well socialised.

But I think nerves are normal before your puppy arrives, and even more justified with the added uncertainties of a cross

A few things to consider: Have your kids, especially the youngest been around biting puppies? It's hard to get a puppy to stop biting if people react by screaming and flapping around when they bite. Are you able to keep your kids and the puppy completely separate if needs be?

Will the breeder take the dog back, at any point during it's life, if you are no longer able to look after it?

A puppy is just like having a toddler (with no nappies). If you're ok with adding another toddler to the household, you will be fine.

Has anyone felt the same is this a normal feeling

We didn’t feel like this, no. We were happy to always make sure someone was around for the dogs or that they wouldn’t be left for long.
I think if you’re having doubts, then don’t get a dog yet.

This likely isn't the best place to get a balanced opinion and mumsnet A; hates any poo cross and B; generally disapproves of buying puppies at all and you should always rescue a greyhound. However if you aren't prepared for the lifestyle change then that's a different matter. You will always have to consider the dog in every situation when making plans and anything last minute is near on impossible. I'm lucky that my parents are happy to have ddog and she loves them so holidays and day trips are still possible but we generally do far less now that isn't dog friendly and i expect that to stay the same once lockdown is a thing of the past

We’ve waited until our youngest is 6 and she is struggling with puppy play aka shark attack. She understands but she still doesn’t like puppy near her when he is in a boisterous mood. I imagine a 4 year old will struggle massively and it’ll be a lot harder to manage.

Hi OP

We got our lovely sprocker spaniel 6 years ago, MIL had a cockapoo who's now 2.5 years old.

Spaniels are easy to train as long as you put the effort in. Ours was clean in the house from the second week, was given frozen carrots to bite when he got nippy whilst teething, a sharp no and ignoring him did the trick.

He brings me so much joy, loves running off lead, great recall, loves children, I've never seen him snap at anyone, he's dopey with the cat and tries to cuddle him and he's just my best friend.

With the right work and attitude, the dog will bring you and your family a lot of laughter and love! Good luck x

Also the best thing to do in regards to children is have firm boundaries.

Our dog had a crate that had his blankets and toys in, the door was always left open but he would take himself in there when he was tired or had enough of playing, could be an idea to enforce that that's the dogs private quiet time and he mustn't be disturbed.

Dogs have a massive impact on your life, especially during the puppy stage when they really can't be left alone, and even an adult dog can't be left for longer than around 4/5 hours at a time.

It's a baby animal that, as pp said, that doesn't wear a nappy and in addition is going to be bitey and chewy for a while.

An adult dog is very different from a puppy, so looking at your in law's dog is not going to help you much at this stage. Cockerpoos can be quite hard work and a bit crazy, obviously, being the mix that they are, but well trained, they can be lovely dogs.

If you've done as much reading and homework as you can about what to expect and so on, and have a pretty good idea of what having a puppy involves then it shouldn't come as too much of a shock.

Puppy doubts are very common, it doesn't necessarily mean a dog is not for you - lots of similar posts on here - and 'puppy blues' are a real thing. But if, like your in laws, you put the work in, you'll end up with a well trained, lovely family member.

I’m not of the hating poo cross camp but you do need to understand that your cross could have the worst traits of both breeds.
I also think your DC are a bit Young for a puppy. My youngest was 7 when we got our pup and he was the size of a 10 year old, he still found the dog a bit much.
Puppies are Bitey little gits and it will be a lot for your 4 year old and maybe the 8 year old to handle. You can NEVER leave them alone in a room, even for a minute and you will have to manage things all the time so you know where the dc and dog are. The weather is awful here today but the dog has still needed walks, my dc are old enough to be left alone, yours aren’t so if your DH or you aren’t around you will have to drag them all out in the snow/cold/rain for walks and keep a close eye on a 4 year old and puppy who could potentially go in opposite directions. Presumably your dc will have activities and friends round, all these are harder when you have to factor in a dog. You have 3 DC under 10, you are probably busy and as lockdown continues to ease you will get busier
Finally, with 3 Bitches and breeding over priced mongrels then I would question how caring your breeder is.

We’ve got a very placid Labrador puppy, and there’s no way I would have enjoyed having a 4 year old at the same time. Puppies need so much attention and supervision, and the biting is much worse than you can imagine if you haven’t had one before.

I think the thing worth thinking about is whether your life can accommodate a dog. I don't mean the walking and the being around for a dog which are the 2 obvious considerations. After that you have got to think about whether you can bring a dog to the type of days or nights out you have and whether they can fit in with your holidays. We've always had dogs and I still find it irritating that if we go somewhere without the dog we can't just go somewhere else afterwards as we have to go back for the dog. When we are planning anything that can't involve him we have to juggle the day around him. Things like weddings and big birthday parties are difficult with a dog to consider. I think dogs are worth the inconvenience. If you do too then a dog is probably for you.

over priced mongrels

Yeah you clearly have no problem with poo crosses

Our first puppy joined us when our youngest DC was not quite 2. My only regret was not having time to train the puppy beyond house training. Other than that, and one or two destroyed toys, puppy and DC got on brilliantly. Maybe we were lucky, maybe I was inadequately house-proud, maybe my DC were models of restraint (ha!) but we made it work for us.

But a puppy (and then the adult dog) does change how you live, and it's quite normal to have a massive case of cold feet. I wouldn't not have dogs, though: they bring more than they take away in terms of fun and pleasure, and the frustrations of training them are offset by the sense of achievement when they finally learn to behave.

Ive always had mainly working dogs and have got puppies when my DC's were under 5 I'm struggling to remember exactly my DCs ages but I think one was three when we got a puppy; a large boisterous gun dog puppy.
IMO (an this may make me unpopular on here) you can make dog ownership as complicated or as difficult as you like. Ive have always expected our dogs to integrate into our lives, obviously I don't leave them for hours or overnight but I really cannot understand people who endlessly go on about how much work a dog is or "puppy blues". Small children are more work and responsibility end of story. Im strict I treat my dogs like a dogs, I don't over indulge them and expect good behaviour at all times (everyone comments on how well behaved my dogs are), obviously they do sometimes do things they shouldn't, or make mess in the house on wet days and even occasionally chew things they shouldn't but that's animal ownership. Having said this I've also spent my life owning horses (and I used to work on dairy farms) and that really is like owning a 1/2 tonne toddler that never grows up and the amount of effort required to care for a dog fades into insignificance when compared with the amount of effort time energy and dedication required to look after a competition horse.
My kids from a very early age have been outside in all weathers, wellies and waterproof suits are essential they know that owing an animal is a responsibility an accept that the negatives are out weighed by the positives. Although having recently given up horses after nearly 55 years of ownership I might now disagree with this when it comes to horses!!
A dog should be part of your family but not totally rule your family life (only horses do that) don't make owning them difficult or complicated don't over think it, just go with it you and you the puppy will sometimes get things wrong, he/she will pee on the floor, chew things it shouldn't, bring mud in, ignore you when you call it, no dog is ever perfect don't make it the end of the world, you'll make errors training it, learn form them, keep going, be firm kind and consistent. There will be the odd day when one of your children is ill and you can't take the dog for a 2 hour walk or the puppy gets excited and nips one of your children and they cry such is life tomorrow is another day.

We have a poodle cross springer and she is amazing. She is very very loyal and such a funny character. Her recall is pretty much spot on and learns tricks so quickly. We have kids between 8-11. Personality wise she is very different to her sister. She is not a fan of other people until she knows whereas her sister loves everyone. People can hate on poodle crosses but we love and dote on our pup and she was worth every penny we spent on her.