To the poster who advised me to euthanize my puppy last year....

[Badgershy]

OK so not directly to them as I doubt they'll read this and I can't even remember who it was but this has been on my mind so I just wanted to put it down here.

Around this time last year our 7 month old pup had an awful fright. A child screamed in his face. Following on from that he then redirected his fear towards our 12 year old DS by snapping and growling at him on a few occasions. I came straight onto here for advice whilst waiting to speak to a behaviourist.

A couple of posters told me, in no uncertain terms that I should have the dog put to sleep, that I was putting my DC at risk and that this dog was not suitable to live with a family and that it would be unfair to rehome him knowing that he was a bite risk.

Thankfully I also got great advice off other posters who didn't think death was the only option for this pup.

Fast forward to now and we have the most loving, values member of our little family. Hes an absolute joy. We worked through his issues, he came out the other side of his fear stage and we wouldn't be without him. It makes me so sad to think what could have happened if I'd followed that shit advice.

I hope they do read this and will think twice before being so outspoken about a topic they don't understand, we could have killed a beautiful dog with his whole life ahead of him, a permanent solution to a very temporary problem.

I think most issues apart from the normal puppy ones usually need someone in RL like a trainer or when there are big problems a behaviourist to work with you.

Forums like this tend to attract views with extremes at either end but equally all people can do is to offer their advice or experience.

Glad you had a positive outcome OP and maybe you will also offer your perspective when someone in a similar scenario asks for help.

So what you’re saying is that you had a dog that was aggressive and threatening towards your child and decided you’d just take the risk and keep the dog and hope that it doesn’t attack/maim/kill your child? And now you’re showing off because it hasn’t happened. Yet. 👏

Not a dog hater or a troll. Have dogs, love dogs. Would never risk my child for one of them though. I would PTS, would rehome so my child was safe.

To be fair I don’t think she ‘took the chance’: she did employ a behaviourist.

I wasn’t being an arse bringing up the fact the dog has bitten but the thing is none of my dogs would have. They’d yelp and they’d have given you a woeful look and they’d make you feel like the worst person in the word but they wouldn’t bite ... so I don’t know.

It is hard. I do get that all of us react out of character when in pain. I’m just not sure this was ‘out of character’. My worry is the OPs obvious adoration of the dog is blinding her to some facts. None of us know what the original post was though as I’m guessing there’s been a NC.

OP, I think it's great you sought expert advice from a behaviourist and appear to have tackled the concerns around your dog (only wish more people would follow your example).

But I believe dogs can never be 100% reliable (as recent news items have shown) and tragically, sometimes, dogs will attack/maim/kill which will appear to be totally out-of-character behaviour to their owners. I love dogs but I always have this at the back of my mind, including (especially) when they're around babies and children, so constant supervision is really important.

Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong yes I absolutely agree.

I think it's brilliant that you have put so much work in.

My only concern is that the dog clearly absolutely has the bite reaction when stressed or shocked. You can't control for those events, so you can never ever trust him, particularly around young children. He very well may bite again in the future. I think it's great you're happy to work with him and keep him in your home, but I do think your posts assume the problem is fixed. Apologies if that's not the case.

CommunistLegoBloc no I don't assume that at all. As a family we understand him now. I would never ever let him be around loud, excitable screaming children. It wouldn't be fair to him or them. As an example, DS and I are meeting friends in the park this afternoon. We'll give our dog a lovely quiet walk this morning and leave him at home to snooze in the sunshine this afternoon. My niece is autistic, he will never be around her as I know he has the potential to find her frightening. When DS has his friends over the dog stays in the annex, he's happy in there and the boys can make as much noise as they want in the rest of the house.

My OP was simply to say that there are avenues to explore and professional help to take before euthanasia in a situation like mine. You can learn, the dog can learn and they can become really valued family members.

@Badgershy

CommunistLegoBloc no I don't assume that at all. As a family we understand him now. I would never ever let him be around loud, excitable screaming children. It wouldn't be fair to him or them. As an example, DS and I are meeting friends in the park this afternoon. We'll give our dog a lovely quiet walk this morning and leave him at home to snooze in the sunshine this afternoon. My niece is autistic, he will never be around her as I know he has the potential to find her frightening. When DS has his friends over the dog stays in the annex, he's happy in there and the boys can make as much noise as they want in the rest of the house.

My OP was simply to say that there are avenues to explore and professional help to take before euthanasia in a situation like mine. You can learn, the dog can learn and they can become really valued family members.

OP, I think that's very fair as you're clearly considering the risks and adapting accordingly.

The problem is there appear to be several owners of dogs who are in denial and won't step up to the plate as you have done (often defensive when challenged, eg "I've had dogs for years so I know what I'm talking about" I know this from direct experience as my SIL used to have a dog that was fantastic with humans but a psycho as soon as it saw anything with 4 legs and I think really needed to be muzzled as soon as it was taken out of doors as it had form for attacking other dogs.

So glad it worked out! What an adorable dog! x

@bunniesanddaisies

To be fair I don’t think she ‘took the chance’: she did employ a behaviourist.

I wasn’t being an arse bringing up the fact the dog has bitten but the thing is none of my dogs would have. They’d yelp and they’d have given you a woeful look and they’d make you feel like the worst person in the word but they wouldn’t bite ... so I don’t know.

It is hard. I do get that all of us react out of character when in pain. I’m just not sure this was ‘out of character’. My worry is the OPs obvious adoration of the dog is blinding her to some facts. None of us know what the original post was though as I’m guessing there’s been a NC.

No one can be certain how their dog would react if OPs husband knelt on their tail. My last childhood dog (a staffy cross) bit my dad when he took him by surprise and accidentally bent his tail. His go-to fear response was normally flight not fight.

When we had him PTS for health reasons nearly a decade later, he still had just that one bite incident under his belt. He lived with children, including children with learning disabilities, for the entire 14.5 years that we had him.

What a great post OP really please it worked out for you.
The posters that keep sniping at you... That's mumsnet... some real nasty posters on this forum that pick apart every word and twist things think lockdown is sending some a bit cuckoo

The posters that keep sniping at you... That's mumsnet... some real nasty posters on this forum
We must have very different definitions of what constitutes ‘sniping’ and ‘nasty’ (as I assume you are referring to me)

I am genuinely pleased everything worked out well.

I was simply pointing, perfectly politely imo, that most dog bites are by family pets, on children, fear based and started out with growling and air snapping and therefore, if you put a post on a forum asking for average people’s opinions/advice, stating a dog is behaving aggressively towards a child, you will get people advising to rehome or put the dog down.

They aren’t dog haters or trolls or monsters.
Just regular people concerned for the safety of the child given that dogs being uncomfortable around kids and going on to bite them isn’t that rare a thing.

If the OP is that aghast and angry that people suggested that a dog that shows aggressive behaviour towards a child should be rehomed or PTS then perhaps the OP should have consulted a qualified behaviourist and solely took their advice instead of asking on a parenting forum first which is filled with average people, many of them with dogs but not at all qualified...

@BigWolfLittleWolf

The posters that keep sniping at you... That's mumsnet... some real nasty posters on this forum We must have very different definitions of what constitutes ‘sniping’ and ‘nasty’ (as I assume you are referring to me)

I am genuinely pleased everything worked out well.

I was simply pointing, perfectly politely imo, that most dog bites are by family pets, on children, fear based and started out with growling and air snapping and therefore, if you put a post on a forum asking for average people’s opinions/advice, stating a dog is behaving aggressively towards a child, you will get people advising to rehome or put the dog down.

They aren’t dog haters or trolls or monsters.
Just regular people concerned for the safety of the child given that dogs being uncomfortable around kids and going on to bite them isn’t that rare a thing.

If the OP is that aghast and angry that people suggested that a dog that shows aggressive behaviour towards a child should be rehomed or PTS then perhaps the OP should have consulted a qualified behaviourist and solely took their advice instead of asking on a parenting forum first which is filled with average people, many of them with dogs but not at all qualified...

It was for all of you making nasty comments to the OP as my post said but yet you think you were the only one I was calling out but didn't mention your name. Twisting to your on agenda. Point proven.

What agenda would that be..? Saying I was really pleased it worked out but to be mindful that asking non qualified people is highly likely to result in advice that you may not like and/or may be incorrect..? No one has made any ‘nasty’ comments to the OP.

How awful that anyone would advise you kill your dog for such an issue. I’m an animal lover and can’t understand people who could be so callous. My darling cat died over a year ago. I had to put him to sleep and I’m in tears even writing this now. He was extremely ill and suffering but it was incredibly traumatic and I have not recovered from the grief. Honesty awful that people would tell you to kill your puppy after he had been traumatised and was reacting to that. It’s lovely that you were able to have a wonderful outcome. Pets are family.

Maybe there should be a sticky at the top of every Doghouse thread along the lines of the ones in the Medical topics. Along the lines of ‘Please speak to your vet in the first instance for any health or behavioural issues. Posters in this Topic are not necessarily qualified to give advice on serious health or behavioural matters’.
There is similar in breed rescue groups I’m in on FB. One doesn’t allow any unqualified advice or home remedies at all and while I wouldn’t go that far on here I do think The Doghouse gives an air of ‘specialism’ and comfortable, authoritative, expert space that it doesn’t always deserve.

BigWolfLittleWolf No one has made any ‘nasty’ comments to the OP

I've been told that I'm resentful, that I prioritise my dog over my son, that I kept the dog and just 'hoped' that it wouldn't attack/maim or kill my child (followed by a clapping hands emoji) and that the adoration I have for my dog has blinded me to the facts. I've had a post picked apart line by line and a poster has gone to the trouble of searching my posting history to dig up any dirt on my pup that they could find.

Blueberrymuffin40 thankyou for your support. Its been really appreciated.

People forget that we're real humans behind these keyboards. They type things with no consideration for how it might make the person on the receiving end feel. To be told that I've put my dog before my DS is a really hurtful and yes, nasty thing to say. If people had ANY idea of what I went through to have my child and the reasons behind us getting a dog to complete our family of 3 then they wouldn't dream of saying such a wicked thing. Of course I'll now get replies saying 'well what do you expect, posting on a forum, these are strangers who don't know you, don't let it bother you'. Well shame on you for thinking that way! I always reply with consideration and respect and so should everyone else. If yoy don't know the full story then don't full in the blanks with a made up version.

Many thanks again to everyone who gave kind and thoughtful replies.

No one has made any nasty comments to you, OP. People have said things you don’t want to hear and you’ve decided they are ‘nasty.’

You’ve been pretty unpleasant to people though.

OP you posted on an open forum, people will say what they think.

I think you took a big risk and I wouldn't have felt happy to keep the dog in the house with my child. The fact it worked out for you doesn't change the fact I wouldn't be willing to take the chance.

It didn’t work out though.

The dog has to be shut away when children are visiting.

The dog has bitten the OPs husband.

The dog can’t come on family trips.

I understand keeping him and adapting life. It’s a decent and commendable thing to do. But it doesn’t mean it’s a ‘problem solved’ situation either.

It means the dog is living happily with their family @bunniesanddaisies which is a great outcome.

What a weird cutesy name for someone who seems keen on killing animals for being frightened

Well done OP. You've worked really hard and your boy is gorgeous!

I think your reading comprehension needs a review there. I haven’t once advocated PTS. I’d only do that if there was really no coming back. This isn’t one of those cases but it doesn’t mean the dog is suited to a home with a family either.

Yes quite. I'd have done anything I could to move the dog away from my kids. I also feel sorry for the child having to go through all this.

@Clymene

It means the dog is living happily with their family *@bunniesanddaisies* which is a great outcome.

What a weird cutesy name for someone who seems keen on killing animals for being frightened

Well done OP. You've worked really hard and your boy is gorgeous!

What a horrible thing to say to @bunniesanddaisies. And completely uncalled for.

I personally think it's great your dog has been rehabilitated but absolutely agree that you still need to show caution due to history.

You took a risk which appears to have paid off although not without compromise. Good for you I guess.