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Original poster

Thoughts on children's ages and a puppy

30 replies

undermycatsthumb · 08/04/2021 13:33

We are hoping to get a GR in the coming years and will be first time dog owners. Obviously at the moment there are long waiting lists for the breed, but our youngest child is only 2 so we would want to wait until he is a bit older anyway.
So I just wondered what is the youngest age (of child) would you recommend having a puppy with (specifically a retriever)? Friends have recently had pups with 3 and 5 year olds and it has been fine but the 3 year old in question is very calm.

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 08/04/2021 13:37

I think it depends on the child tbh. An excitable 3/4/5 even 6 yo and a puppy can be a nightmare as the puppy sees the child as a plaything at all times. Also puppies nip and bite and jump up and the reality of that is too much for some kids. A GR is going to get big and powerful in play pretty quickly too.

I'd wait until around 7 ish, when the child can show an active interest. It's why we got DDog when I was pregnant. Everyone thought I was mad but it really did work out:)

Original poster
undermycatsthumb · 08/04/2021 13:56

I wish I could go back in time and get a dog pre kids! There was an old GR girl at a local rescue centre when we were TTC our first and I was watching her advert for ages and ages umming and ahhing over it, wondering if it was mad to add a dog and a baby to the family in the same year... gosh how I regret that now.

Thank you. My oldest DC (7) is very calm but the younger two (5 & 2) are pretty excitable. Toddler is probably at his calmest with our cat but obviously cat is very different to puppy.

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2catsand2kids · 08/04/2021 13:58

We waited until our children were 8 and 10 and I’m so glad we did. Having a puppy is amazing but really hard work and I’d have found it even more difficult if my children were younger (we have a miniature poodle rather than a GR).

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/04/2021 14:14

We got a puppy when our youngest was still a baby. In many ways it was great - the DC were used to dogs anyway (most of our relatives have them), and they got to grow up with one who was fantastic with them. On the other hand, we didn't have much time to train her (she housetrained easily and we managed an okay recall but that was about it).

It can be done with young DC but you do have to be sure that you have the time and commitment, at minimum, to socialise and exercise the dog adequately. I don't regret getting her at all. Would u advise anyone else to do it? Only if you are 100% certain that you can fulfil the dog's needs in terms of exercise and attention, and that your DC won't make the dog's life miserable.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 08/04/2021 14:15

Would u... Would I!

tabulahrasa · 08/04/2021 14:16

I wouldn’t have a puppy with younger than school age tbh.

It’s not just about their interactions, I mean that’s very important of course, but also... they need to be ok to be left unsupervised while you do things like dash out for toilet breaks.

FelicityPike · 08/04/2021 14:17

I would say 7 as a minimum.

womaninatightspot · 08/04/2021 14:24

Waited until youngest was 5. TBH the dog learnt quickly not to bounce over the little ones. Happy to roughhouse with the 10yo though.. Lots of time having the children do training as a puppy. She was pretty much handfed for the first few months playing games and setting little trails. Dog loves the children and is so excited waiting for them to come off the school bus whenever they go.

Thatsmycupoftea · 08/04/2021 14:37

I have a gr with a 3 and 7 year old. My gr is 1 and we got her at 8 months. She was already toilet trained etc. We are training lead walking and recall at the moment.

My children are calm and very well behaved most 88% of the time so I suppose that's helped.

My gr girl is calmer than any dog her age.

She can get boisterous occasionally but is easy to calm and listens well.

Where we live is very rural and we are keen walkers so exercise has never been an issue for us. My kids do a fair few miles everyday.

Thatsmycupoftea · 08/04/2021 14:38

99% of the time even....silly phone

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 08/04/2021 15:50

We got our pup this year - ds is 5 and dd is 3. We’ve survived but my dd went from being totally calm and lovely around dogs to acting like a little lunatic. I don’t know what got into her - too much puppy excitement, I guess. She is usually really calm and sensible... 🤷🏻‍♀️ But my day is spent ‘dd, please take your arm out of the dog’s mouth’ ‘dd, please stop licking the dog’s tongue’ ‘dd, do not wake the dog up’ ‘dd, please remove your feet from the dog bowl’ ‘dd, what did you just feed the dog?’ I could go on... 🤪🤪🤪

Saucery · 08/04/2021 16:00

We waited until DS was 5 (passed up the chance of a puppy from the first litter when he was 3) as we wanted a large, boisterous when young breed who might inadvertently knock him over as a toddler. He was steadier on his feet at 5 and able to understand not to bother the dog, particularly when she was eating or sleeping.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 08/04/2021 16:24

I would say seven years old.

Puppies are mouthy (it hurts!), playful and exhausting - and GR's are big dogs and could easily knock a small child flying (unintentionally) and frighten them.

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2021 16:28

We waited until our youngest was 6.
Puppies bite. They jump up and a GR is big enough to knock a child over.

Chocolateandamaretto · 08/04/2021 19:45

I got a puppy last year when my youngest was just 4....hard bloody work! You need to be really ready to commit to them never being alone together....I mean really really, not just I'll pop up for a wee and leave them for a minute like you might do with a toddler watching peppa and a baby. You need a plan to keep them separate at all times if needed (with a GR you will need most of the day separate as they are mouthy and nippy pups). My pup is 10 months now and very good with children of all ages but still needs to be supervised with kids at all times (as all dogs will be throughout their lives) so just bear that in mind if you are used to being able to pop in and out on your kids!

Having said that watching the joy of all 3 of my kids mooching in the garden with the dog, him earnestly listening to them explaining their game to him then trotting with them whilst they play, the joy on my nearly 5 year olds face playing fetch, and watching them all cuddle up on the sofa is so worth it. he is a fantastic companion for them and he's only getting more sensible and mature as each month goes by. If you can really commit to 6 months + of proper disruption to a family routine then it is doable!

He doesn't bounce on them fyi, and generally doesn't jump up at kids, it's the grown ups we're still having to work on Confused

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 08/04/2021 22:09

We have a springer spaniel and the biting phrase was really hard with a 5 year old and a 3 year old during lockdown. Both kids got bitten at different times because keeping them apart was impossible. But fortunately nothing more than a shallow scratch and now dpup only bites me... no idea why I am the lucky one! 😂 It hasn’t put the kids off dpup or dpup off the kids, thankfully. Dd will still remove a chew toy from dpup’s mouth and shove her hand in there instead... 🤷🏻‍♀️

Indoctro · 08/04/2021 22:44

We just got a puppy, wanted a dog since our last one died in 2017 but children were too young

Boys are 4 ()nearly 5 and 6 (nearly 7) and to us this was the right age and so far so good.

wetotter · 08/04/2021 23:01

It's do-able at any age, and there will be people with success stories for just about any scenario you can come up with.

But I would say that it's much easier when your youngest DC is at least school age and ideally 7+. Because you need a lot of supervision to keep DC safe round young (and still unpredictable) dogs - and a large dog going through the teenage phase can send DC flying out of exuberance (even though it might have the gentlest temperament ever). Also, slightly older DC are much better at following instructions not to annoy the dog (waking it up, playing inappropriately)

Having a dog is a bit like adding another toddler to the family, but a toddler that could actually hurt your DC badly if something goes wrong.

But if you have a house where you can install the odd gate to keep them separate, and know you have the time to train both the dog and the DC, then go for it. The bond between DC and a family dog is very special. Goldies usually make very good family pets

kindlyensure · 08/04/2021 23:12

Our first dog we got when youngest was 6 and I remember it being really hard work. Especially (and this will happen again, post pandemic!) when friends came round after school for tea and they were all leaping around the house and running about and playing and eating and you couldn't just let them get on with it - there was a lot of supervising of pup and thinking about where to put her and which kids might not tolerate her and who wound her up etc....

Now the kids are older teens and we have a puppy again and it has been a breeze, tbh. Sooo much more relaxed.

Having said that, the kids adored growing up with a dog (despite the chaos) so short answer is - no age and any age! (Not helpful. But forewarned is forearmed and all that).

BlueTiles · 08/04/2021 23:15

What is a GR?

Cactuslockdown · 09/04/2021 08:05

I agree, it depends on the children so you are best placed to judge. We got our goldie when DC were younger than yours. It was like adding another toddler to the party, but in a way it was easier as the DC were less excited by the puppy than they would be now! DDog had somewhere quiet to escape to, and goldies are so quick to learn, it was full on but I’m so glad we got him then but I also know we were very lucky with his temperament.
You may find the breeders have an opinion too.
Enjoy your pup!

Original poster
undermycatsthumb · 09/04/2021 11:36

Thanks for all the responses!

BlueTiles - a golden retriever.

Although in an ideal world we might wait until the youngest was 7, my oldest will be 12 by then and I don't want her to miss out on the experience of growing up with a dog - I completely agree with pp that said that it's a wonderful thing for children. So it will probably be a case of youngest being a little younger than ideal and oldest being a little older than ideal! Really good food for thought here though and yes we do have a house that is well set up for keeping people and animals separate so that will be helpful. I thought I might also fence off an area of garden just for the dog (when the time comes) as everyone is in between the house and garden constantly and I want an area in which the dog can dig at their leisure!

My next question then would be how many years in advance is it worth contacting breeders? My neighbour recommended a few to me and just from looking at their FB pages most aren't planning litters until 2022/have incredibly long waiting lists, so would it be silly to get on a waiting list several years ahead of time?

OP posts:
Corncorncorn · 09/04/2021 13:26

I'd wait til about 8 tbh

Snackz · 09/04/2021 15:54

Our puppy is 8 months old now and we have a newborn baby now too. He adores her and if I'm honest, he's gone from being an absolute whirlwind to quite a calm dog!

Iremembertheelderlykoreanlady · 09/04/2021 16:00

I got my last one before my child was born, he was 2 by the time he was born. That worked fine.

I got the current GR when my child was 7 and that worked well.

I would say 6 upwards but a lot depends on the child's nature, younger could work out fine.