Please help me with my dog

[AtMyWitsEnd999]

As my username shows, I'm at my wit's end with my dog. I can't take much more. I love him but he's just an utter, utter cunt. I don't want to rehome him, that usually goes against all my principles, a dog is for life etc I've tried everything, positive reinforcement, telling off, ignoring, walking for hours, bribing with treats, but he is still relentless.

When we come in he gets stupid excited and jumps and runs and gets in your shopping bags. Tried ignoring this and turning our backs on him - doesn't work.

Whenever he gets excited he has to grab something, tea towels, washing, your coat, anything, but he chews it and makes holes in it. All my fucking towels and tea towels have holes in. Even most of the duvet covers and pillowcases that I used to have on the sofa ffs. My dressing gown. He grabs stuff and runs around and thinks it's a game. He took something off the floor in the shed while I had the door open getting out pegs this morning, then showed me up in front of all the neighbours by running all over the garden with it. Chewed it to fuck. Someone just came to collect something from me. as we came back in he grabbed the towel off the sofa (i've got towels as makeshift throws until I can get some) and went running round the garden again with it. I lost my temper then and squirted him with water.

We can't leave blankets or pillows or cushions on the sofa. We can't really leave anything anywhere. Coasters, washing on an airer, remote controls, anything.

He has to be supervised all the time. He cries if I go upstairs to the toilet. I have to walk the other dog for less time because I can't risk leaving him on his own too long.

He'll be sleeping, as soon as I move, to get a drink or something he's up. He has to follow and get in the way.

He pisses or marks all over everything. He will be getting done, but I think it's to do with my DH because when he's not here, he doesn't do it.

If you put him outside on his own for discipline, he barks like a fucking bitch. We've just moved so I'm trying not to piss the neighbours off so I'm trying to keep him quiet. His bark is so so loud though.

He's 2yrs 9mo and a presa canario. My last dog, a cane corso wasn't like this. This is relentless. He chewed the sofa in our last house. Scratched up all the door frames clawing at them.

A dog is supposed to bring joy to your life. At the moment, he isn't. e's stressful. This is our fault for not doing the right training, but I need to know how to train him to make him a pleasure to be with. Most of the time I just bide my time and count down the time until I can go to bed and leave them.

He gets me up earlier and earlier, and I can't ignore it in-case he pisses everywhere (furnished rental), but most of the time he doesn't even want to go outside, just wants me to get up.

I think that's everything but there's probably more I've missed, its never fucking ending.

I think the dog needs rehoming.
None of you are happy - can you find a reputable rehoming charity where you are op?
Life's too short to live with an incompatible pet (I actually work for a rescue charity so I'm not judging).

I don't know about the neutering thing, we neuter all our dogs and cats before they are rehomed, I assume because it's the sensible thing to do and you put off people who might want to breed more unwanted animals

He sounds like he needs more
Boundaries than are currently in place. This sounds like it could be separation anxiety due to the whining when you go to the loo /barking outside - he doesn't understand that it's a punishment, all he knows is that he's separated and he goes spare trying to get you to come back. The marking etc. Is an anxiety thing too. He doesn't understand why you moved house and for all he knows you're going to leave him there, go out and never come back.

My recommendation would be to see a dog behaviourist / trainer. We had the same issues with our dog (including being very reactive to other dogs outside the home) and he is so much better after a year of us training and seeing her occasionally (as much as we could afford). It takes a lot of work to sort these issues out but good luck.

Lots of training can be done in the house for free. One exercise we started with was to sit down and wait for him to settle (give him a chew or something calm), ignore him. Once he's settled get up and move to another chair. Settle. Get up and move. Etc. All the time ignoring you. It starts to desensitise him to the fact that if you move you aren't running away or doing anything exciting, you're just getting the paper, or moving washing or whatever.

I know it's been said but it's worth repeating...

2x 20 minute on lead walks a day for this breed is NOT acceptable and is obviously one main cause of his behaviour.

You need to get off your arse and see to this dogs needs or rehome him to someone who will

Stop punishing your dog for being a dog and meet his needs more. He doesn’t need a firm hand he needs helping.

Your dog is not a cunt, but he is being treated in a cunty way.
Train him, exercise him, socialise him, bond with him.
Or you will end up with a dangerous dog & something will get killed.

Sounds to me like he needs to direct his energy which may not only be about walks but also mental stimulation. Removal where possible of things he's tempted to chew is a good start but there are probably some games and activities for mental stimulation that are appropriate for this breed.

I'd recommend you take a look at Southend Dog Training. They have a website and FB group and of you search on YouTube you'll find Q&As from the trainers. Lots of their members have experience of these types of dogs and there is so much advice and help there. They have a VIP club with tons of resources and videos - just thinking this may be of more value to you than a local trainer who only teaches Heel and lie down.

Well done for reaching out for help, I hope you can make things work.

Tour dog exhibit the typical behaviour if attention seeking.

Too many people get dogs thinking if what the dog will bring to them (affection, entertainment, distraction etc...) and forget it's a 2 way street. They expect the dog to adapt to their needs and then get annoyed when they themselves demand their needs are met. The need for entertainment, distraction, affection...their way.

The fact you seem to think that a 20mns walk us enough says it all. Your dog needs a lot more.

If you want to sort it out, you need to totally change your approach and instead of going from one discipline mode to another getting frustrated because it doesn't work immediately and do trying yet another, you need to bring in consistency.

Clear boundaries (ie. coming home with shopping, give doggy a lot of fuss as soon as you put the shopping down, let him have a quick sniff, then take him to another room with a toy and make it clear he is to stay there until you've finish. Then get him out and give him much fuss.

Dogs need a lot if fuss. A lot of their good behaviours are to make you happy, you need to show them that you are. It's even they don't get positive reinforcement that they go for negative attention because any is better than nine.

This demand time and energy but it's what dogs deserve. If you can't give him that then you need to re-home him.

I thought I'd update with our progress so far.

We are walking 2-3 hours a day. We knew we would have to do that when we moved here as the garden is smaller. 1-1.5hrs in the morning and the same in the evening. Heat permitting, I'll take them out for a quick half hour in the afternoon too.

I'm walking them both together rather than leave him at home on his own as the neighbours are in close proximity. We haven't had any issues doing that, except for the 2nd time we went, we met a woman and her dog that was in season.

My legs are black and blue from him smashing the muzzle into them as we walk but that will get better. He has to have a muzzle as it's law here.

The behaviour indoors during the day is getting better, he still runs in and grabs the throws, however long we've been out, but I'm leaving the muzzle on until he calms down and as soon as he does it after I take it off, I put it back on. I'm hoping that will desensitize him to the muzzle and stop the grabbing fabric thing.

He's not so whiny if I go upstairs but when I come back down, he's up and at the bottom of the stairs, however deep asleep he looked when I went. I'm going to try the musical chairs thing and keep popping out to the bins or the car etc as I still can't get up for a tea or a wee etc without him being up and on me.

If I can work out how to fit two crates in here I'm going to order crates. I'm ordering kong's etc today and one can go in the garden and one indoors when they have them.

I might stop them sitting on the sofa, but they'll have to sit on the floor and we don't have rugs because of the grabbing/chewing/marking. If we get crates they can choose to sit on the floor or in there I suppose. It's going to be hard to fit them in though as this is basically a duplex studio if that makes sense.

I'm going back to basics with the 'watch me' thing this week and once I've got them focusing on me rather than each other and pissing about, I'll start some brain games. That will be a separate activity to the general training, once we've got 'watch me' mastered again I'll move on to 'come' etc. They do know come/sit/down, but they don't stay and they don't do them every time, first time on command, just instantly if you have a treat.

When my DH is back we'll look at getting him done. I can't have him recovering on my own with the other dog. The reason we haven't done it yet is because we were waiting for him to be fully grown and for his hormones to be developed properly first. I didn't want him getting stuck in mental puppy or adolescent stage.

I'll update weekly-ish if people are interested and want to stop with the judgement. And want to offer any advice as we go along.

I don't have any particular experience with large guarding breeds like this OP but when I read your update I thought it already sounded much more positive & you have ideas & things to try.
I hope it works out for you all.

Not you or your dogs fault re the bitch in season, even the most well behaved dog would go wild if they came across her. I don't even walk my dog in public when she is on heat. Its not fair to other dogs/ owners.

Good luck with it all op. Dogs are lovely but bloody hard work arnt they.

@Moondust001

I've had mastiff's before but this one is just something else. I don't know what a PP assumes about my lifestyle but we both work from home and have had strong willed dogs before. I asked for help, not judgement.

Really? You have been given loads of advice, and oddly it is all the same. It doesn't matter whether you work from home or from Mars - your dog is a high energy working breed, he is inadequately exercised, and appears to have little or no social interaction or activities to use up his energy and occupy his mind. If you have had "strong willed breeds" before then none of the things that you have been told ought to be coming as a surprise.

I don't think anyone was really judging you up until this this point, but I for one now definitely am doing so. This has been going on for nearly three years, the poor dog was not properly exercised (running around a garden, no matter how big, is not a replacement for walks, which is an activity that dogs need and enjoy) and still isn't; it has nothing to do and no toys or games; and is resented for trying to occupy himself. And you saw a behaviourist a bit? But it didn't "take"?

I don't think you understand that just because a dog is not aggressive now now doesn't mean that it will never be - you clearly have serious control issues and a bored, under-stimulated dog who is destructive. It might be your sofa and cushions that are the object of his teeth right now, but a hyper out of control dog can easily find other uses for teeth. You cannot give any guarantee that the behaviour won't escalate. You can't have toys because the two dogs will fight over them? What happens when he fights over possession with you? Or a child? The aggression is already there.

You are not treating this seriously enough, and you are making excuses and ignoring everything anyone tells you because it doesn't accord with someone giving you a quick fix for the dog / what you are being told to do isn't what you want to do. The problem here is not the dog (yet). The problem is you.

It might be best to rehome the dog before that is no longer an option.

@AtMyWitsEnd999 reading Moons post is a good place to start

That sounds positive progress! Do they have beds? You say they either have to sit on the sofa or the floor, but can’t they go to beds which are cheaper and smaller than crates? You have to train them to go to bed though but you will then have a space they’re supposed to be in and can tell them to go there when you get up. Mine has a bed in the kitchen and one in the living room.

Work on ‘drop’ too, swapping for treats or a toy instead of trying to drag something away.

Glad to see some progress!

There is a guy not far from me has one of these, he walks him for bloody hours! But he is a sweet soppy boy who loves a good snuggle at the pub after a decent hike.

The best thing our trainer told us was stop treating our madam like a generic dog, but work with her bred characteristics if that makes sense. So she's a cockapoo (rescue before we get the inevitable pile on). Working cocker/miniature poodle mix so she is bright, energetic and bloody stubborn as well as not being food orientated and very opinionated! So lots of brain games, tug games etc (these are easier with a small dog admittedly) and we do some mantrailing and agility work.

I'd love to hear about his progress as long as we can have a picture because i do think they are cuttie pies 😁

A positive update, OP and I think your renewed energy makes the way you write about the dogs softer. Some dogs are harder work than the others, but they're often the ones really worth trying hard for iyswim

Yes to updates (and photos )

Sorry @AtMyWitsEnd999, I was on my phone and didn't see your updating post before I posted. Some good progress in there; we found the look at me/watch me thing works really well with our dog, otherwise his attention can be all over the place and his brain and ears just stop functioning. Although he's high energy (boxer), walks for him are all about quality rather than quantity, ie engaging his brain and senses rather than just expending energy, so a 20 minute walk/wander where he covers maybe a kilometre sniffing, exploring and pottering works better for him than an hour marching along at a spanking pace. As a youth he did two obedience classes with my husband; after school, he would come home, scoff dinner then take himself off to bed on account of being exhausted from thinking!

Looking forward to your further updates

It sounds like you are making positive changes. The crates might help too. And if he is a working breed then the brain games for mental stimulation. If you are still struggling, then more input the dog behavioural trainer can't hurt. I hope it works out OP...he sounds like a good dog who is just bored/frustrated & might enjoy training & learning the boundaries. Best of luck