When did you first leave your puppy alone?

[Lizbiz89]

We're getting a puppy in the next couple of weeks and I was wondering when you are able to first leave them alone. I'm a SAHM so I'm not going anywhere for long but I was wondering when it's fine to do so? Just for trips out to the supermarket etc.

I left ours right from the start for 20mins twice a day for the school run. I made sure before I left that he'd been out for the toilet and I left him with a nylabone smeared in peanut butter. I also left my phone recording so I could check if he was crying. We're two weeks in and when he sees us get ready to leave he just settles in his bed to sleep now. Fully aware this might not last!!! We haven't crate trained him (except at night), he just stays in the kitchen.

What breed are you getting?

@StillAliveish thanks for advice. We're getting a crate as the kids are still young so I'd like her to have somewhere to go for quiet when she needs it. We're getting a french bulldog. Our last dog (bullmastiff) passed away in feb due to cancer so we're very much looking forward to having a dog in he house again 😊. Obviously it's been a while since we had a puppy so I'm not too sure on the leaving part as I don't want her to be anxious when we go out.

Aw cute! My friend has a French bulldog, he's completely daft but really cuddly! I only leave ours because it's impossible to take him- he's 5kg and I just can't carry him that far, although I think maybe it's been good for him to get used to being alone a bit. I've nipped into the supermarket on the way home a couple of times but he hasn't been left for longer than 30mins. I wouldn't leave him longer than that at the moment. At least if you've had a dog before it won't be as much of a shock as it was for us, it genuinely feels like we've added a third baby! Having to wake up in the night again was very unpleasant to start with!

I would encourage them to stay in their own bed when you are there, then go into another room briefly. Gradually progress to leaving them and going out for 5 mins, 10 mins, etc. Our Springer puppy used to get bored and chew the wood on the stairs when left alone, but dabbing some mustard on the wood soon sorted that one out :-)

It will massively depend on the dog. Some puppies are fine to be left from day one, others will struggle for much longer.

The important thing is to build it up slowly and don't put your puppy into a situation where they're distressed or uncomfortable.

A PP mentioned leaving hers for 20 minutes from day one - mine would have been so distressed he was sick if I tried to do that. So you really to have to act on the dog you've got - they don't follow a rule book

Yeah mine would definitely have pooed everywhere if I left for 20 mins to start but each dog has their own threshold! We left ours for 30 seconds at a time and built up by a third (I know it seems tiny) but just really tiny baby steps meant we’ve worked with him at a level he can cope with. To begin with I couldn’t even close the shower door - and I don’t mean whining and FOMO I mean full on anxiety and distress! Can close it now
We got daycare arranged really quickly and an amazing dog sitter so I used to kind of group all errands into however long I could get someone to look after him. I really recommend you do that so you don’t have to stress about him getting used to x length of time so quickly and just work at their pace.
Best thing I learned when I got a puppy is they have their own little personalities and so your expectations kind of go out of the window!

Little steps of leaving for thirty seconds, shut the door. Come back in. If they are crying wait till they stop then go back in. Don't go in if they are crying or it rewards crying. Wait for them to draw breath or pause to listen. I reckon on spending a morning doing this and by the end they should be OK for five to ten minutes. Then you can build it up in five minute chunks over subsequent days, but always start a learning session with a shorter period of leaving than you ended with last time. Start this as soon as possible, like the day after you get the puppy.

Thanks for your advice everyone. I will start with baby steps then build it up. I'll never be out without her for more than an hour but still need to make sure she's ok to be left occasionally.

@StillAliveish just wondering how you're getting on with your pup? We've got our beautiful girl now but oh my god it's been so hard! I now know what you meant by having a third child! The puppy blues are no joke!

@Lizbiz89 aw! How long have you had her now? We've had ours for about 4 weeks. I honestly had proper puppy blues! I actually cried at one point! Are you struggling with anything in particular? We're in a routine now which helps a lot and he can go for his first walk this weekend!

@StillAliveish only got her on Saturday so not very long at all! Really struggling with the disturbed sleep and grumpy kids. My 4 year old daughter is particularly not taking it well. Her behaviour has been difficult since she arrived home. It all just feels overwhelming 😭. Is your pup now sleeping through the night? That's the bit I'm struggling with the most. At least with newborns nappy changing can be done in bed 😂.

@Lizbiz89 I completely get you! My DD is 7 and is still a bit wary sometimes. I worried I was neglecting DC to focus on the pup! He does sleep through now, occasionally he wakes about 4am for a wee but he'll go back to sleep in his crate. Some advice says to set an alarm and take pup out during the night but I decided I wasn't going to do that! Ours will whine when he needs the toilet. How often is yours getting up in the night?

She's up twice a night. Last night was at 4 and then at 6 which doesn't sound bad but she literally didn't sleep between 4-6 so I've been up since 4 basically. The night before wasn't so bad as she was up at 3 and 5 but went back to sleep after both wake ups. When did you find your pup started to sleep through the night?

[quote StillAliveish]@Lizbiz89 aw! How long have you had her now? We've had ours for about 4 weeks. I honestly had proper puppy blues! I actually cried at one point! Are you struggling with anything in particular? We're in a routine now which helps a lot and he can go for his first walk this weekend![/quote]
Sorry can I jump in and ask your schedule? We’ve had our puppy 5 days now - we’ve started to write down times he is doing stuff to try and see if we can get a bit of a routine/schedule going so thought I’d ask!

@Lizbiz89 we got our puppy on Friday. He sleeps downstairs in a crate, but currently with door open and I just sleep on floor nearby (😱). Last two nights he has slept from about 9pm to 5.45 am only waking once for a wee about 11.30 ish.... could well be fluke 🤣

@Lizbiz89 oh no! That's no fun. Very reminiscent of toddler days! Does she sleep in a crate? Was she whining or just dicking around? For the first week he'd usually wake sometime between 2-4am but now goes until 6-6:30am, although does still need a 4am wee every now and again!

@MrsHerculePoirot our schedule is roughly this:

6:30am- wake up
7am- breakfast then roughly 15mins of training/play
8:30am- nap while I do the school run (I get back just before 9am)
10am- wake up, 15mins training/play
11am- second meal
12:30pm- nap
2pm- wake up, train/play
3pm- nap while I do school run
4pm- third meal then massive play session with the children
6:30pm- last meal while we have ours
7pm- play session in the lounge (this is the worst time. He gets excited about being in the lounge for the first time plus he's getting tired)
8:30/9pm- sleep
10:30pm- fin wee before we go to bed

Obviously there's a bit of flexibility but we seem to have mutually decided this works for both parties. From next week he'll be going for walks in there too. He obviously doesn't realise when it's the weekend/holiday so me and DH take turns getting up with him on non-school days. Occasionally he sleeps until 7/7:30am and I wake up panicking he's dead!

@StillAliveish that’s great thank you!

@StillAliveish she actually sleeps in our bed 🙈 but that's how we've always been with our dogs. Plus she's only going to be very small and we have a super king. She sounds like your pup though (waking up 2-4). Hoping that stretches out soon. And praying the toilet training starts improving. Is your pup fully toilet trained yet?

@MrsHerculePoirot congratulations and that's brilliant! What a good pup! You can't believe how much they disrupt your life but they're so worth it. I've always had dogs and would stay I'm quite experienced with them but having young kids and a puppy has been a game changer 😂.

@Lizbiz89 I move around far too much in bed to have a dog in there! Ours is mostly toilet trained, we don't tend to have accidents anymore. If we do it's because we've missed his (far too subtle cues) that he needs to go. He'll wander to the back door and give you the briefest glances which is the window to open the door for him. If we're in another a room and he wanders into the kitchen we assume he needs the toilet and open the door for him. He also does "excited wees" but that's fine, he can't control that!

@StillAliveish our pup has pretty much followed your schedule 🎉🎉🎉 I’ve used it to try to wind down play etc a bit before we’d like him to sleep. You’re like the dog whisperer now to me 🤣

@Lizbiz89 I’ve not had a dog since growing up - so over 25 years ago but had always planned for the day... although of course I can remember a fairly older calm and settled dog as opposed to a crazy puppy 🤣🤣