Building up leaving puppy on his own

[Dinesen78]

I have a 15 week old puppy who is very affectionate and playful. We didn't crate him, he sleeps on his bed on the floor in our bedroom and went through the night immediately which was a pleasant surprise. He sleeps very well in the day, and prefers to be in the same room as me.

For the last 2 weeks I've been giving him a kong or licky mat and popping out of the door for a couple of minutes, to start to build him up to being on his own for a little bit, but I can't do any longer than this before he starts barking and whining. So I've started coming back in before he does that. He gets through the kong etc quickly.

I'm not planning on leaving him for long periods but at some point in the future I'd like to be able to go out for an hour to do some exercise or pop to the shop (my partner doesn't work from home, so I can't go out without the puppy at the moment) and I thought it would be good to start very gradually but I don't seem to be able to get past 2 minutes. I also know that its kinder to him to get him able to tolerate some alone time, in case something happens and I have to go out without him.

I tried the flitting game, although I notice that some behaviourists aren't keen on it in case it makes the dog hyper alert. The only time I could stay out for longer (10 minutes) was when I gave him a pig ear but I was told that they aren't suitable for puppies so haven't done that again.
I appreciate that there are a lot of factors at play - breed/genetics/the way the breeder raised them - he is a bichon so I appreciate I went for a breed that doesn't really tolerate being alone!
I just wanted to see if this is realistic - to try to build up the time from a few minutes? But if the current chews don't preoccupy him for long, I'm not sure how to increase the time. Other safe chews aren't distracting enough if I go out.
I only try to go out when he's had food/training/been to the toilet/is tired. Is he too young to be left for longer than this anyway, and will I be able to increase the time as he matures and feels more secure? I don't want to leave him to bark/whine in case it causes more problems down the line and also for my neighbours sake.

Have you tried freezing the kong so it lasts longer?

It can take a long time to get dogs used to being alone - months in some cases. I know you read about a lot of dog owners who left their dogs from 8 weeks for hours and it was fine, but in reality very few puppies can cope at such a young age.

Like you've said, you've also taken on a dog that's been bred for companionship so they generally dislike being left - it's in their DNA to love being around people, so it'll take a lot longer for him to adjust than it would other breeds.

You've been doing it for 2 weeks, he's only 15 weeks old, and he's up to 2 minutes at a time at the moment. I would just keep going, make it a predictable normal part of your routine. He's still so young, so you can't expect much of him but you can expect that as he matures, and gets more experience with separation, he will settle for a bit longer each time.

I’m watching this with interest. The books make it sound simple but we are in the same place as you. I want to go out to the gym (when they open) but she is crying the minute we leave

Watching with interest too

I did a routine of a walk then breakfast and frozen kong in crate and went for a shower

Often she fell asleep as tired and full but if she whined I would go back and read with my back to her , no interaction, till she either fell asleep or was quiet for long enough and calmly lying down and I would let her out. I do remember getting quite stressed as didn't want her to cry and dislike her crate.
I think never let them out for crying, stay near till they are calm
Now I don't really bother with crate as she doesn't chew and likes the sofa. I always hide snacks round the room when I leave do sheknows I'm off but it's also a game.
My husband from home upstairs but says when I leave for work as long as she's had a good morning walk she barely looks up when he comes down for lunch

So how to you handle the 'don't let them out when crying' with house training? Sometimes when she's crying, she needs a pooh (sorry). Weeing is pretty by the clock but the poohing isn't so unless she's been in the last hour we're never quite sure...

I will add that there is an element of just leaving and 'sucking it up' as such. When we got ours, we purposely left him alone every day from day one, just for five minutes to begin with. Just for a walk round the block so he got used to it. He would cry and jump at the door every single time and it would break my heart. But we still went out religiously as it was the only way to get him used to it and would build up the time. Now, we can (if there was anywhere to go!) leave him for 3 hours plus if needs to with no bother. He's happy as Larry in his bed with the radio on.

I know what you mean about whining for the toilet so I set up a play pen in the garden so it was an opportunity for toileting but not fun sniffing about for ages then straight back into the crate.

If it helps our trainer said to build it up by a third at a time to begin with. He likened it to baking - underdone and you can always leave it for longer, overdone and the whole thing is ruined.

Different people do different things but I would never leave a dog to cry. They will stop eventually but that’s because they’ve just realised no ones listening to them anymore and it’s no use and I think that’s pretty sad really. I’d want my dog to trust that I’ll listen.

We leave our puppy in her crate once a week and all pile out the house. Started at ten minutes, now up to twenty minutes. She doesn't seem to bat an eyelid about it. House quiet on return, so I potter around in kitchen making a cup of tea then after five minutes let her out crate and into garden. No fuss made. Gradually building up the time. I think some dogs are quicker than others. For some, it will take more time and patience. Good luck OP.

I will add that DPup is taken out a walk to tire her out before crate training.

We can't leave our very clingy dog either, he's just turned 1.

I'm going to convince the wife (who hates the thoughts of him crying) we need to do it. So we'll leave, lock up and go sit in the garden for 1 min a day, then 2 mins, then 3 mins, etc til we've got it up to half an hour.

Thanks for the advice from everyone, I think I'll have to take the slow and steady route as well. I left him with family at the weekend for a few hours, he whined a little bit when I first left but they said he was fine after a few minutes, so hopefully that will help get him used to the fact that I'm not always around.

I have a bichon poodle cross and by 20 weeks I could leave him sleeping in a room where he usually slept with me present, for two hours. I started off letting him sleep in the room without me whilst I was still in the house, and after two weeks of him being used to uninterrupted nap time (he really was fast fast asleep, not whining or barking at all) I then moved to staying upstairs whilst he slept, then out of house with someone else upstairs (DH worked upstairs in far away office) and finally could leave the house all of us at nap time. Once we knew he would sleep and not need a pee for that long it was alright to leave him for a short interval.

Our dog does sleep downstairs by himself though, uncrated now but before six months crated at night...we built that up too, by sleeping next to him downstairs. He sleeps through without us no prob in a familiar place, though no way if he was somewhere new/strange.