Over-friendly dog. Doesn’t read other dog’s signals

[MangoSeason]

My 15 month old neutered lab is over-friendly. He is a very large boy, even for a lab. He wants to roughhouse with every dog he meets and seems incapable of reading signals and respecting the boundaries of other dogs. Old? Need to play with me now! Nervous or reactive? Need to play with me now! Small? Need to play with me now! You get the picture.

His recall is a work in progress (good unless he sees a new “playmate” then all bets are off) and as a result, is on leash most of the time so I can control his approaches to other dogs. In the off-leash dog park, he is only ever allowed off leash to play with other dogs if I have chatted with the owner first and established that their dog is happy to engage in roughhousing.

As a result, he only ever plays with other big, over-friendly dogs! I am worried that this selecting of playmates is just reinforcing his behaviour. I kind of want him to meet a larger, sensible dog with boundaries of steel who can pin him down and firmly chastise him when he gets too much but it doesn’t happen.

He goes for daily walks, daily swims, lives on fenced acreage and has me home most of the day so he isn’t lacking stimulation.

Does anyone have any advice? I really would love him to learn to respect other dog’s boundaries but have no idea how to go about this.

I feel your pain. It took my lab a while to understand but he did and does and is very respectful these days.
We had the benefit of socialisation classes and I took him through the canine good citizen awards - it helped. So maybe check to see if any trainers have outdoor classes running yet.
If you know anyone who has a similarly playful big dog, arrange a walk with them and tire him out. We did that about twice a week, and that seemed to help the energy burn, he also quickly learned that not all dogs were as much fun as his mate.
Lastly keep doing the on lead greetings, stop and make him sit quietly while other dogs approach and only let him move on your say so. Also get him used to ignoring dogs. Don’t let him greet them all on lead, ignore some so he gets that idea too.
It’s just practice and a bit of maturity for him really.

At 15 months he’s still in the teenager phase so there’s an element of just generally being a yob anyway. Our dog is overly friendly, not roughhousing with every dog but assuming every dog wants to play. A dog would do a non-friendly growl and she’d still wag her tail and think she gets to play.

What helped her learn her place in the world was controlled off lead play at training. This is a mixed age training group so there are older dogs that don’t want to play and more nervous dogs that have worked to be around dogs. She’s been put in her place quite a few times and now is better that she doesn’t have to play with every dog (but will still wag her tail suggestively at every dog). With our pup, training hasn’t been on so we’ve not been able to do that but we had a dog walker before the pandemic and she will walk with a few other dogs. The other dogs are putting Pup in his place but he’s young and thinks he knows best so it isn’t sinking in yet but it will.

I echo training off lead with no other dogs around eg in the garden. Try to build up your relationship so that the dog learns about cues and that you are pack leader so if you want him to sit and ignore other dogs he will. Then go to classes when they resume to learn this discipline with other dogs. I trained my lively one to "watch" which means he had to sit and let other dogs walk by and not greet them at all. It was only training and learning discipline from me that changed the behaviour. No amount of being tired stopped it.

Sounds like you are taking all the necessary precautions though. My nervous/defensive rescues have really been set back by roughhousing dogs bounding up to them off lead over the years so I'm relieved you're preventing that too.

He sounds like the perfect match for my 16 month old over friendly Labrador girl perhaps we should set them up. She also thinks all humans exist purely to stroke her so is also on the lead or longline a lot of the time.
We are currently working on staying next to me and sitting until she is told she can play using treats (food is as exciting as friends) its very slow progress but we are getting there and she can now be trusted to stay by me when we pass humans, dogs are still a work in progress.
What has really helped with the dogs is finding others who do have boundaries but aren't aggressive, interacting with such dogs is helping her learn that not everyone wants to wrestle all the time. Is there a local doggie Facebook group or even a trainer you could reach out to and see if anybody will meet for play dates to help her learn.
I think part of my girls issue is we have 2 Huge boys and our neighbor has a 3rd but they all dote on her and put up with her antics so she thinks that's the way it works.

I kind of want him to meet a larger, sensible dog with boundaries of steel who can pin him down and firmly chastise him when he gets too much but it doesn’t happen

The thing is, it's not up to other dogs to train yours. If he can't be trusted around other dogs or you don't want him rough housing then keep him on a lead and don't allow the behaviour - you can't expect other dogs to "tell him off" for you. That's not fair on them as it means they've been pushed to a point where they're uncomfortable or stressed around your dog.

A big part of it his age and breed - he's a teenager and labradors take a fair while to mature too. Just give it time and he'll settle down.

Our 3 year old lab was exactly the same until he got to about 2, it took lots of perseverance and training but he's a very respectful boy now. He loves playing with other dogs more than he loves life but he doesn't bound over now until the owners tell us its fine, He sits and waits and then will play to his hearts content! Reinforce his training with food constantly too as they will become lazy with it if there's no incentive! Our lab responds better to the command 'wait' than he does 'stay' so maybe see if there's a cue he prefers too? It is just time and practice!

My dog would love to have a wrestle date with yours though! He absolutely loves meeting young dogs who will chase and wrestle with him.

Some great ideas, thank-you. I might call up his puppy school trainer to see if she is offering socialisation programs. That Canine Citizen sounds great so I hope she offers something similar. We are in Australia so they are open.

Our dog used to be like this. He was on a long line for a long time. He is 19 months now, and far more interested in his ball than other dogs. It’s getting to the point where he doesn’t show much interest in socialising anymore. I find it a bit sad that he’s not interested, but it is much better than him running off to pester other dogs.
Your dog will grow out of it. Just keep doing what you’re doing, and put him on a lead around dogs that don’t want to play. Some dogs, like mine, won’t tell a dog off, but I can tell he is unhappy. I have had to explain to a few puppy owners that my dog isn’t happy, but he won’t tell their dog off by barking or growling. I worry he will escalate to nipping them. Thankfully most of them have been understanding and put their pup back on lead. Keep going it will get better.

Mine is the same as yours so following for ideas. We're going to start sending her for group walks with our local dog walker to help her get some of the playfulness out of her system.

He would terrify my blind dog (on lead) and my dog would snap, he's only small and can't see. He has warnings on his lead harness and collar. If he's off lead where other dogs are you need to keep on a long line until he learns boundaries. Not having a go op at all but just to be aware!

I could've written this post. I'll meet you to train them together! I have a terrier cross who gets SO EXCITED when he sees other dogs when off lead and unless it's a German shepherd or husky (scared of those - no clue why) hell bound over and just wants to run and play chase. He has been going out with a dog Walker (mainly for socialisation) but he's been naughty the last two times and not taken his cues and the other dog ( and my dog Walker) was unhappy which mortified me. We bump into neighbours often whose dogs will play with him but then buzz him off when he gets annoying but then with some others he simply keeps going back to play and recall goes. I'm trying to find social sessions but my dog trainer stopped hers and the in person life skills course was awful as we got ejected because he was too excited. He wanted to say hello to her but she doesn't do that and he wasn't allowed any interaction with the other dogs in there so off we were sent. I may have cried in the car while he licked my face and looked cute. I'm only letting him off if no other dogs or ones we know currently. It's a shame as he's so lovely

Im surprised you aren't meeting dogs who put him in his place... my wee fella, all 5.5kg of him, is quite ready to "tell off" the large bouncy dogs who come up to him, often sending him rolling in the process... a few large barks and if they don't respond, he'll growl ferociously... They all seem to get it and their owners often look a little surprised given what a titch he is.

Whereas if someone comes up to him politely, has a good sniff, shows good manners, he's well up for it.

I do wish people didn't expect other dogs to discipline theirs. It's not fair and all it shows is that your dog has made the other one so stressed or anxious that it feels it has no choice but to snap, growl or snarl.

If you know your dog is over-excited around others and won't recall away then please keep it on a lead. As a dog walker my biggest hate is unruly off-lead dogs bounding up to my on-lead ones and pestering them. Many find it incredibly stressful and it can cause severe leash reactivity in the long run.

My own dog can be a pest off the lead so I have to be really careful where I let him off in case he makes a nuisance of himself!

I do wish people didn't expect other dogs to discipline theirs. It's not fair and all it shows is that your dog has made the other one so stressed or anxious that it feels it has no choice but to snap, growl or snarl.

Same here. My dog won't snap back and just ends up being upset when jumped on by other dogs.

I end up having to body block and shoo the other dog back to their owners although I now take the action of walking quickly off with my dog which panics the other owner to see their dog follow.

OP sorry didn't offer any advice in my PP.

Getting a good trainer who will do group training and monitor interactions with the group is what I would do in your circumstances.

Mine will snap back but that's another problem in itself - I don't want him in that position and I hate that other dog owners think it's okay to let their dogs pester him.

Then when he snaps, he risks getting the reputation of being aggressive when it was the "friendly" off lead dog that caused the problem and pushed him to his limits.

f you know your dog is over-excited around others and won't recall away then please keep it on a lead.

Really? So how exactly do you expect puppies to learn off lead behaviour without actually being off lead?

OP....this is pretty normal for dogs of this age, especially labs. Things that have helped me include....buying a good toy that you only use on walks. Preferably something exciting, with a squeak, that you can build value into and use to interact/play with him on a walk. The kong wubba is pretty good as it has dangly bits for tug games, can be thrown, and squeaks. Practice recall all the time with high value treats that you only use for off lead walks, like a tube of liver paste, primula cheese etc. Also echo a PP's post about having free runs with other dogs you know, so that other dogs aren't such a novelty. Keep going, he will get better I'm sure.

I have really enjoyed reading these replies as I have a bouncy 11 month old Labrador who is exactly like this. I’ve booked some sessions with a behaviourist when lockdown restrictions allow to help her with her doggy manners.

The trouble is that you don't know how your dog will be until you try off lead. I'd love to hire a field with people and dogs who'd be happy to play but it's not possible. I'm only letting him off when it's super quiet or if I am with a friend whose dog he likes and does react well with.
We care that's why OP raised the subject. Yes there are some cocks out there but some of us want to get it right

Really? So how exactly do you expect puppies to learn off lead behaviour without actually being off lead?

Use a long line. Practise with a friends dog. Don't just let them run riot without having a good recall command in place. It's so unfair on other dogs.

It's irresponsible at best and dangerous at worst. What would you do if your puppy approached the wrong dog and got bitten? Or what if they get spooked and run off towards a road?

If your dog has no recall or poor recall, don't let them off the lead. It's really not complicated.

The trouble is that you don't know how your dog will be until you try off lead.

But the answer isn't to just let them off the lead and hope for the best. You use a longline. Hire enclosed spaces. Borrow a friend whose dog is chilled out and friendly.

Most dogs who are on lead are on lead for a reason - that could be anything from poor recall, to recovering from an injury, to reactivity, to aggression. Letting your puppy run up to those dogs is so irresponsible and could end very badly. You could end up with a puppy who gets bitten and ends up aggressive or reactive themselves.

The vast majority of aggressive/reactive dogs act that way because they're scared and have had poor experiences.

I have a year old corgi who is also overly friendly and doesn’t read signals. We have him on a long line at the park so that he can’t just bound up to any dog he pleases and so we can take him away when other dogs get fed up with him. My boy gets so excited by other dogs that he completely stops listening - if he was allowed off lead he would just go from dog to dog to dog making a nuisance of himself.

I was hoping someone in this thread would have some strategies to help but it seems like I just have to keep him on the long line, keep building our relationship, keep training and wait for him to mentally mature.

I was hoping someone in this thread would have some strategies to help but it seems like I just have to keep him on the long line, keep building our relationship, keep training and wait for him to mentally mature.

Most of them calm down with age. Mine was a nightmare when he was younger but he's much better now (unless it's a dog or owner he knows) - it's just a case of lots of repetition and treats when they do the right thing!

@sunflowersandbuttercups yes exactly that and we did that and had great results with training and long lines but then in real world park he can't control himself so he's back on lead. As you said this is the responsible thing to do. I never let him off around leashed dogs ever either for the reasons given.

[quote MrsBDarcy]@sunflowersandbuttercups yes exactly that and we did that and had great results with training and long lines but then in real world park he can't control himself so he's back on lead. As you said this is the responsible thing to do. I never let him off around leashed dogs ever either for the reasons given. [/quote]
You sound like a great owner! And I hope that doesn't sound patronising, lol. I love seeing owners working hard with their dogs - like using long lines, treats etc. It is a real work in progress sometimes but most of them get there in the end :)