Puppy blues

[StillAliveish]

We got our first puppy on Thursday. Since then it's been an absolute whirlwind. We have a cat and 2 DC and I feel like I've added another baby to the family. To be fair to him he's slept really well, only waking up once for the toilet in the night but we're finding toileting him in the day really hard and it's been a big shock. We spent months researching and prepping but I'm a bag of nerves. I'm worried we won't be able to cope with him and for some reason I'm terrified there's something wrong with him (no evidence for this, just general anxiety cos he's so young). He's getting vet checked tomorrow which I'm hoping will help with this.

I've read online it's possible to have "puppy blues" but friends and family just keep saying how cute he is and how they're jealous and I keep having bouts where I want to cry. I've only ever felt like once before when we had DS1 where for a couple of weeks I kept thinking "what have we done??"

Please tell me other people have felt this and that it gets better!!!

Yes puppy blues are real. I waited over 20 years to have a dog of my own and when he arrived I spent months wondering what I had done.

It will pass. Puppies are biting, pooing, peeing, demanding monsters but they grow up and then you get that lovely faithful old dog you first imagined.

Thanks @BiteyShark. DH is really laid back about it so I feel like he just doesn't get how I'm feeling. I flip flop from feeling great (watching him play in the yard with DS, getting him to sit for treats) to feeling sick because I can't decide if he's sleeping too much or if his puppy belly is too fat! It's really reminiscent of the first night with DS where I didn't sleep at all because I was terrified he'd stop breathing!

Puppy blues are definitely real. It actually is having an extra baby in your home. They need the same attention and companionship as human babies, but a baby that can run, chew, nip, pee and poo anywhere and generate chaos seemingly the second you take your eyes off them.

The first couple of weeks are the hardest, they are still missing their mum and litter, you are getting to know each other and bonding. It does get better. I have had a lot of puppies over the years - every single time I end up thinking ‘what have I done’ and every single time they then steal my heart and the hard part is forgotten.

Have you joined the puppy survival thread? They’re a great source of support and help you to not feel so alone with it all.

@StillAliveish join us on the puppy survival thread! Puppy blues is absolutely a thing and they are really hard work. Lots of us have been through it or are going through it and it's really supportive

This is all so new for you. In a few months time, it won't be new. It'll feel far more normal an it will be summer time which helps! Accept that you're adjusting to a new little (lovely) whirlwind in your lives and he won't be a puppy forever!! Trust me, you look back and that puppy time is gone before you know it! (Multiple dog, other animals and children here!)

@StillAliveish if you join us on the survival thread as Puppy has mentioned you will see many of us have been in the same boat. Weirdly we had had a reasonable time when Pugpup was really small but a couple of weeks ago I got so down and had 24 hours of just bursting into tears thinking what on earth have I done. It feels so much like having a baby, I never imagined it would be like this. Coming up 6 months and it's beginning to be lovely (mostly).

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/the_doghouse/4181751-Puppy-Survival-Thread-March-April

Thanks everyone! I feel a bit better already! I'm off to the puppy survival thread now!

So glad to read this thread! I feel exactly the same. Prestonpup is around four months and I’ve been waking with a sense of dread thinking ‘what have I done?’ She is a cheeky, crazy, bitey cockapoo and whilst everyone says what lovely dogs they are I feel like it’s a constant battle of wills and I’m losing!

The puppy blues are very, very real... mine lasted probably 3-4 months even though I fell in love with him on day one... he was exhausting and I just kept looking at him and asking myself if I’d made a huge mistake... every morning I woke with a sense of dread... but it eased. For me a lot of it was feeling overwhelmed and not sure if I was doing the right thing and there’s also an element of loss of control.

Ah I’ve been there too. Mine is 7 months now and it’s so much easier - I don’t feel like she dominates everything I do and every though I have anymore. The first couple of months are very intense, but this too shall pass

Thanks! He went to the vets today for his first set of jabs and the vet said he was healthy and all looked good which really put my mind at ease. I've been able to enjoy him a bit more now I'm not panicked there's something wrong with him!

Ahh the puppy blues, I can’t say I remember the, fondly but I very much remember the anxiety and fear.

It passed, thankfully! My boys are now 9 months old and teenagers... I won’t go there, enjoy the puppy stage

Do get yourself over to the puppy survival thread though, such a relief to read I wasn’t alone and also not the only loon sleeping on the kitchen floor...

Mine is 12 weeks and already it’s much easier! She’s slept through since 10.5-11 weeks and only had 1 accident in the last 5 days. I’m still watching her constantly when she’s awake but I’m able to relax a bit more now. I just keep reminding myself what a nightmare ddog, now 10, was as a pup (he even chewed through an external wall!) and how amazing he is now (and since about 5 months).

I remember about 2 weeks after we got our pup standing in the garden sobbing because he was a complete lunatic land shark and I was convinced I had an u trainable dog that would bite people and I'd have to go to prison for having an out of control dog! I'd like to say I'm exaggerating but I'm really not!!
Those first couple of months are TOUGH!! It is like having a baby... but a baby with really sharpe teeth, and at least babies can't move around where as shark toothed puppies do nothing but move around... oh I don't miss those days!!

The good news is my pup is now 7 months and he is brilliant! It does get so much better I promise! But you do have to stick with it and really put the work into training. It's exhausting but worth it!

Just wanted to also add that yess! I hugely regretted getting our puppy - and although I didn’t want to give him up I just honestly thought I’d made a big mistake and bitten off far more than I could chew. I also just didn’t find the early puppy stages that rewarding. Puppies are not cute little cuddly playful things they are destructive, bitey, velociraptors that only look cute in photos. All puppy books should dedicate half the book to teaching a puppy to settle and managing the biting. In fact the WHOLE book should just be about that and I think I may have been a fraction more prepared.
Love him now though and don’t regret him being around at all anymore but by god it was hard.

@Claudia84 oh no... He's not that bitey yet! I'm dreading that!!! I feel a bit better now. He's slept through two nights in a row so I'm a bit less tired and just decamped everything to the kitchen during the day which is making toilet training much easier!

Puppies look cute but they are all consuming bitey monsters. Dpup is now 10 months and I love him much more now than as a pup. We can actually sit and watch a film again although he gets jealous when dh and I snuggle but he comes up and cuddles in.

Ours is 13 months now. I was on here looking to remove her in the first few weeks, I’d have happily handed her back.

It gets so much better once you can take them for a walk.

She’s adorable, absolutely center of the family, can’t imagine life without her. She’s well behaved, a bit quirky, and loves a cuddle.

It gets so much better.

We got ours in October. I became a grumpy, shouty, tired, angry mum. The teen DC had always wanted one (and so had I) but I was like "see what you've done to our quiet life?!" 😂

My friend had one around the same time and hers was "perfect"; I felt completely incapable of training a dog despite having children and didn't ever think we'd have a "good" dog.

She was housetrained within a week and slept through the night. Then the biting began! She's never damaged anything in the house but wow my hands!! That felt like forever at the time but I don't even think about it now.

By Christmas I absolutely adored her. DC say I love her more than them and soon all their baby photos will be replaced by dog photos.

Now, I don't even think about whether she needs a wee, I know she will tell me. I look forward to our walks. She's trained to walk off lead. I love evenings cuddled on the sofa with her. Any "trick", she's learnt within a day. My heart is honestly full.

It really is like having a baby. You think the weeing in the house will never end (it did in a few days) and that you'll never have a nice house again (you do). But also like having a baby, you forget all that and love them so much.

Its real and agree like its having another baby. I found it very very hard and our pup was actually a good boy all things considered, no chewing etc. I regularly though about giving him up, and felt constantly guilty for feeling like that and guilty that the kids would be devastated and guilty that I was finding it so hard.

I'd read so much about what to expect and do but it still hit me like a ton of bricks. I struggled until about 4-5 months which was peak awful and then it gradually got better from then. He's 11 months now and I'd say he's great and I'm happy he's here. It is worth it in the end but he's my first and last puppy, it'll be an older dog for us if we ever get another!

I am a vet and have had several puppies, but even I found the first week hard we are now coming to the end of week three and he is getting there.
A smart dog ( standard poodle) so I have to be on my A game, but he is learning fast.

Eek reading this has made me nervous! We’re getting ours in 3.5 weeks. I’m kind of still in the baby phase (youngest is 3) and he rarely sleeps through the night. So I’m used to sleep deprivation which I hope will go in my favour!

Oh gosh @Hightideattheseaside, good luck!

We're one week in now and I already feel a bit better. I taught him 'out' so when he's biting the kids uniform or the sofa or he's picked up a pebble and is crunching it in the garden he'll drop it in expectation of a treat. It's the one thing that's saved my sanity! He's a Springer spaniel X border collie and picks up cues quite quickly.

Baby steps, the toileting isn't there yet and he is a bit bitey but we're improving slowly all the time so I live in hope he'll be a well behaved lovely dog who everyone wants to be around at some point!

We got a puppy last year, and you'd think we'd have known what to expect as she was our fourth. She was a nightmare to housetrain, is our first picky eater, and seems to switch on a Dawn Destruction Setting at 6a.m.

I had proper puppy regret. I'd not had it with the previous one, so it was a nasty shock.

But she's almost a year old now, and today she walked beautifully on the lead across ground laden with tempting smells (I could see the deer slots, and I know there are rabbits there too). She's getting there.

And you'll get there too: keep at it with the training and the bonding play and in 9 or 10 months it will all look very different.

Yep, our puppy was a bitey little monster, sometimes I'd sit on the drive in my car, not wanting to go in the house.

He's 18 months now and an absolute superstar, we love him more than words. The best thing to remember is they're not like babies, they have all the stages, but they pass through then much more quickly and hopefully an amazing dog is on the other side, hang in there!