Has anyone any experience with dog ownership and a child with ocd

[Purplebees]

I know dogs can make great therapy for anxious children. But I am wondering about those with ocd tendencies? What I am thinking is, is it likely to help ocd or could it make matters worse? I have quite an anxious child. I tend to worry he could develop ocd tendencies as I notice funny little habits when he gets anxious. He can also be funny about certain smells making him feel sick. For instance he can’t stand the smell of bananas. Everything is manageable for now and he copes well with day to day life fine. But it’s something I tend to feel I need to keep and eye on. We are also thinking about getting a dog. And I had kind of hoped this would help him, but I wondered if anyone has any experiences of this at all ?

Mine couldn’t stand the poor dog near him, even though we had her before he was born.
‘She smells.....pants too loud......leaves hair everywhere......drips water after she drinks’. He basically lived as if she didn’t exist and didn’t want her near him. Happily went on big walks with her, we were out with her every day, but didn’t stroke her or anything. (She was fine, very loved by me & DH and never sent out of the room or anything). He cried loads when she died age 14 so did love her but couldn’t touch her but tbh he can’t even tie his laces without having to wash his hands.

Ds1 has ASD, always had sensory issues (re smells etc) and a tendency towards OCD re contamination/health. The potential for OCD was mentioned when he was diagnosed (age 8) and he was eventually diagnosed with it in secondary school.

We have always had dogs, three when he was little, then two, now just the one elderly lad. He pretty much ignored them all, until we got a new rescue when he was 11 and from then on the dogs became an important part of his day. He would come in from school and sit quietly with them for an hour, sometimes two, decompressing, before he was ready to interact with the family. This benefitted his mental health significantly.

His OCD eventually reached serious levels, crisis teams were involved and he was almost hospitalised. He’s now nearly 19, has been through a lot of therapy, is medicated and doing so much better. He can stroke the dog and then go and wash his hands, but he won’t touch the dog bed or blankets and is the only member of the family not actively involved in his care, as he can’t touch the dog food, bowls, give treats, etc. He does love to go on walks with us (although he doesn’t hold the lead or pick up after him, obviously). He absolutely adores him though and will still sit by his bed quietly for ages. He was devastated when we lost our other dogs last year and currently very anxious, as our old boy is not doing very well at the moment and he can’t bear the thought of losing him as well.

Essentially he has found his own way with them, that he was comfortable with. We haven’t put pressure on him to do anything that he didn’t feel able to. We wanted him to enjoy their relationship and not feel challenged by it, as their company is so beneficial for him.

Thank you for your replies. I really appreciate it. Would you say overall having a dog has been beneficial for your children? Moosemama, you sound like you feel it has been beneficial. I suppose it’s difficult to know how your children would have been without a dog there

I suppose I won’t mind if he is indifferent to having a dog live with us. But wouldn’t want him to feel uncomfortable in his own home

Could you look after somebody’s dog for a few days? And see how he goes? It might give you an idea as to how he will react.

Yes we really should probably do that. I don’t think we know anyone well enough to ask to borrow their dog though.

Perhaps a cat would be more suited to someone with ocd as they are cleaner generally and not so in your face. I have never owned a cat before but had a dog as a child. Getting a cat would be a Lear hang curve for me.

*learning

It really depends on the personailty of the dog. We've had two, the first who we had to rehome due to aggression issues was very highly strung and exacerbated my DC's anxiety and OCD. Our current dog is an older dog and is very chilled and unreactive to DC's outbursts and OCD behaviours, so is perfect. DC also cuddles the dog when having a sensory overload which helps.

Danceformecolin I think you are right. I was thinking along the lines of a golden retriever as they tend to have a more calm solid personality. But then I wondered if there might be lots of slobbering, panting and hair everywhere. Which may not help

I do think it’s been beneficial for my ds, but I also think it really depends on the dog and the child as individuals. My dogs are/were Lurchers, really laid back and gentle and sleep a lot. The rescue we got when he was 11 was absolutely bonkers as a puppy, very lively, but gentle and not nippy or mouthy, so that was never an issue for us.

I also think it’s easier when the dc is older and more aware of their OCD, iyswim. As a young child, ds would just react but, through therapy and psych support, he has gradually learned to manage his initial panic reaction to many (not all things) enough to rationalise and make a decision about whether or not he can cope with the situation. So for example, he can’t touch doorhandles, but can stroke the dog and then wash his hands.

If you are willing to wait until dog shows open back up, you could perhaps try visiting discover dogs at either Crufts (hopefully in July this year) or at Excel in London in the Autumn. Alternatively you could maybe have a look at the Borrow My Doggy website and see if there’s a dog locally you could look after occasionally to see how it goes.

Thanks. Yes I was wondering about BorrowMyDoggy possibly. We do have friends with dogs - they are more friends of the kids than friends of mine. And he seems ok with them, just a little nervous around them.

Apologies if this is long.

You could try borrowmydoggy.com, or maybe ask in your local Facebook group to se rid anyone would be willing to allow you to accompany them on a dog walk or let you and your child spend some supervised time around their dog once restrictions allow for it.

A walk around a rescue shelter would maybe allow him to experience the noises and smells of dogs.

If you're thinking of going for a puppy they can be very hard work, they nip and they bite and they chew and it's all a totally normal part of a puppy growing up but can be hard for parents to deal with if the child gets scared of it. There's been a lot of people on my local Facebook page over the last year complaining about puppies nipping and chewing the kids feet and toys and wanting to rehome because they didn't research this stuff first and didn't teach their kids before getting a dog how to behave around them.

People suggest rescue shelters and that might be a good idea, an older more calmer dog may be a better fit for your child rather than a bouncy lively one. I know a lot of shelters don't allow families with young kids to adopt and may be more reluctant if the child has anxiety to avoid the risk of the dog having to be returned to them and have the stress of another rehoming if your child struggles.

Different breeds have different traits, my lab is moulting at the moment and it drives me crazy, even with regular brushing and vacuuming there's hair all over me after she's been curled in my lap and I know some people would see that as dirt and filth. She needs two good walks a day, she gets half an hour to an hour on the morning and then another hour in the evening as well as one or two trips round the block for toileting but that's preference. You might be happy using your yard or garden for that.

What would your plan be if you were to get a dog and your child's anxiety increased, how you'd meet the dogs needs as well your child's needs considering and that's where a puppy may be difficult if your child needs your attention and can't be around the dog.

Yes this is my concern if my youngest can’t deal with having a dog I don’t think rehoming is likely to be easy as my eldest loves dogs and is likely to become attached to a dog.
I am the sort of person that thinks through every possible worst case scenario before making a decision. So wouldn’t be doing this on a whim.

Cats aren’t cleaner than dogs really btw, not to live with - there’s litter trays, they randomly throw up, they do lick and nibble, mine sneezes on me a lot, just as much fur as loads of dog breeds and if they go out they might bring things back.

I mean, there’s less mud and usually less slobber (but not always, I’ve met right drooly cats) but that’s about all really.

And.. much much harder to train, so you can’t send one to bed out of the way for instance.

The only trouble with rescue dogs is it is so hard to find a shelter that will let you adopt a dog when you have a child with additional needs. Our dog now was rehomed to us via a mutual friend after we’d had no luck with shelters.
The only other route that I was exploring before we got our current dog was going on the list for a failed guide dog.