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The doghouse

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Original poster

Reassure me my pupppy will sleep through eventually on his own

31 replies

SaveMyGrass · 07/03/2021 08:04

Hi there
I have a 12 week old Cockapoo. He has been with us 4 weeks. He is an absolute joy and doing so well at everything apart from sleeping at night. We started off trying to use a crate but he wasn't keen, in retrospect I think the crate is perhaps a bit big. Anyway we have a pen area with a bed in which we are now putting him in at night. During the day he sleeps anywhere takes his fancy normally by our feet while working.

Anyway he is becoming harder and harder to settle at night after he wakes for the toilet at around 2 without one of us being in the room. And invariably it means DH or I spent the remainder of the night on the sofa. He will settle once we are in the room on the sofa with fairly minimal interaction, just the occasional hand in between the bars and a bit of shushing but if we try to creep out he will start crying again.

I know he is very young still and actually many pups don't sleep through till 16 weeks. Will this just happen naturally or are we always going to have to sleep by him?

I was considering trying the crate again but in our bedroom with the hope that he would settle easily as by us and then once he is sleeping through move the crate back onto the landing or downstairs, but a friend said that once he is in our room with us there is most likely no going back.

Any reassurance or advice would be appreciated. The trainer we have been using has said we shouldn't leave him to cry, and that with settling in the night just do what we are doing, with minimal fuss and interaction, but sleeping on the sofa is starting to take its toll.

Thank you.

OP posts:
XiCi · 07/03/2021 08:59

Could you just move his bed up to your room ? He might settle for the night if he knows your there. We abandoned the crate very early on and just put a bed in our room and he settled from that 1st night. He was mostly sleeping through the night at 12 weeks

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 07/03/2021 09:13

It might be easier to bring the puppy upstairs and then work on getting them to sleep independently downstairs when they're older.

Although that was my plan and ddog is still sleeping in the corner of my bedroom and is 18 months old!!

JackieWeaverFever · 07/03/2021 09:17

Do they have a jumper with your smell?

We stuck at it but finally cracked it when we realised our dog didnt like the basket location moving it made a big difference we put her in the hall in the centre of the house rather than the kitchen.

Girlintheframe · 08/03/2021 07:02

I would have the crate next to your bed. I think you will both get better sleep that way.
Once he is settled over night and not getting up for the toilet anymore move the crate out of your room bit by bit.

sproutsnbacon · 08/03/2021 07:09

If you don’t want him sleeping upstairs don’t take him upstairs. They all usually sleep through by 20 weeks. Just pick a good place for the basket/crate, ours have their beds in the kitchen where it’s warm.

yearinyearout · 08/03/2021 07:22

He will eventually, but the fact that you've already caved and slept next to him with your hand through the bars probably hasn't done you any favours.

I found mine have settled well in a covered crate, it feels cosy and safe. Ive had wave music on in the background. I've sat on a chair next to the crate, and gently shushed until they've gone to sleep. When they woke in the night, I would lift them from the crate, straight outside for a wee with no lights on, and no interaction whatsoever, straight back in crate and shushed again. If they moaned/whimpered I left them to it, but if they were distressed I'd shush from outside the crate again til they settled. I've also left them with an old worn t shirt of mine to sleep with.

They all settled within a few nights of coming home, and were dry through the night very quickly.

Original poster
SaveMyGrass · 08/03/2021 08:55

I think I have probably messed this all up a bit by the sounds of things but we moved the crate into our room last night and had him in there and he settled so quickly, we were just too tired. Didn't even really need to put hand in the bars. Just took him out for loo briefly at 1am when he woke but otherwise was better. I am guessing I might not have signed up to a lifetime of him sleeping in our room which wasn't the intention.

Once he is happy in the crate and going through I will try and move it onto the landing I think.

OP posts:
Original poster
SaveMyGrass · 08/03/2021 08:55

I mean might have signed up to a lifetime of him sleeping in our room

OP posts:
Roselilly36 · 08/03/2021 08:58

Our dog used to sleep in our room too.

familychallenge · 08/03/2021 13:06

My dog is not crated but slept on my bed at first. Now nearly six months old and he chooses his bed in the hallway on his own. It was a gradual process and all his choice - he still sometimes jumps up for a fuss but prefers his independent sleep. It will come, just give it time!

Original poster
SaveMyGrass · 08/03/2021 13:35

Thank you @familychallenge that is reassuring. Thank you everyone. I am just paranoid as my 2nd child took years to sleep through the night and I made so many mistakes and just want to get this right.

OP posts:
sunflowersandbuttercups · 08/03/2021 14:04

Ours sleeps in our room and has done since he was a puppy. It's no problem and he settles right away.

Personally I just went with what made my life easier. I struggle with my sleep as it is and DH is up early for work, and neither of us had the energy or inclination to sleep on the sofa or the floor for weeks on end!

familychallenge · 08/03/2021 14:31

I hear you @SaveMyGrass - I read all the things that said if you make them feel secure they will become more independent in their own time but still doubted it, especially in the beginning when he was a total Velcro pup! But it has been my experience so far, and am hoping he will stay securely attached and confident enough to choose his own space when he wants it

Girlintheframe · 08/03/2021 15:31

Ours started in our room but once he was sleeping through I moved the crate out bit by bit. Literally moved the crate a bit further away from the bed week by week.
Since about 5 months he has slept alone in a different room.
He just needs the reassurance that he's not alone but as he settles and grows in confidence you should be able to begin slowly moving him.

Riverhousepuppy · 08/03/2021 18:17

Riverpup started in a crate downstairs then we moved her up to our room as she wasn't settling by herself, still in the crate and covered at night.
She is 8 months now and sleeps in her crate in the kitchen with absolutely no problems. We put her there about 6 weeks ago. I was so tired before the crate went upstairs.
The key for us was getting her used to sleep in the crate, the location if the crate came second.
Like with children, this too shall pass and you will be going to bed knowing you will wake up in the morning not knowing you could be up half the night.
Big hugs as sleep deprivation sucks

blowinahoolie · 08/03/2021 19:40

Got our puppy when she was 12 weeks old. She was part crate trained by the breeder. She cried the first few nights, but I slept on sofa beside her. With music on low volume. Classic FM from memory 😂 she was fine after night 5, so I started sleeping in my own bed again. Just as well really as my back was killing me.

blowinahoolie · 08/03/2021 19:41

Good luck, you will get there👍🙂

Crappyfridays7 · 08/03/2021 19:56

Crate games, feed him in his pen, play with him in it or beside it. Make it THE place to be, high value. Also kongs filled with his meal and frozen gives them something to work on, I never leave my puppy with a kong though but he’s happily trotting in and out of his crate and pen all day.

He has to love it in there so when he’s in it he will settle and be happy. My pup slept through from day 2, he cried the second night for 10 mins then slept he did wake early but trick is to either have him beside you or just to put him to bed and leave him. Our boy has a fleece mat and his fave teddy and a water bowl on to crate. That’s it. You will get there but you do have to take the emotion out of it a bit, it will help to work on getting him used to his environment as it gives him a safe secure place to rest and a happy place to sleep.

Eckhart · 08/03/2021 20:00

Have you ever heard anyone complain about their adult dog keeping them up every night?

It just doesn't happen. If it did, dogs wouldn't be regarded as man's best friend!

He'll settle. Probably suddenly and all at once.

Don't worry. Mine used to scream when I went for a shower in the mornings... she can't be bothered to open more than one eye before 10am, now!

Tomatobear · 08/03/2021 20:09

I guess it's natural for them to sleep with their family. I'm a big believer in the security breeds independence thing. Ours were both in our bed at first and now chose to sleep on the sofa

Tomatobear · 08/03/2021 20:09

*choose sorry

Original poster
SaveMyGrass · 09/03/2021 08:03

Thanks all. So we have had two nights in our room. Last night was the best night we have had since he arrived. He went in his crate and I went to bed at 10pm, at 1am he woke and needed the toilet which we went out for briefly with no fussing, then straight back in the crate and he slept till our alarm went off at 6:30.

I also moved the crate back from directly next to my bed where it was the first night so it was against the wall and he was happy with that. Going to just stick with this for now and see how we get on. Hopefully he will break the need for toileting in the night and go through in the next few weeks.

OP posts:
Riverhousepuppy · 09/03/2021 08:46

Thats brilliant news.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 09/03/2021 09:30

It takes ages to break the need for a wee in the night ime, my dog is 18 months and still gets me up needing the toilet some nights!!

Glad he's more settled for you though.

Eckhart · 09/03/2021 12:22

@Girliefriendlikespuppies

It takes ages to break the need for a wee in the night ime, my dog is 18 months and still gets me up needing the toilet some nights!!

Glad he's more settled for you though.

Bloody hell. The bladder should be strong enough to hold a night's worth of pee by now. I think I'd be saying no or getting a medical check by this point.