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My sister is not looking after her new puppy!

27 replies

KellyGeek · 24/02/2021 22:09

Last year my sister moved out and started to rent an upstairs flat about 10 miles away from my mother and me. She had been going on about getting a puppy for some time, but my mother and I thought she was just having a laugh. Anyway, about two months ago she bought a female Akita puppy, even though my mother begged her not to because my sister works full-time and is out of the house for 9 or 10 hours Monday to Friday. What on earth was she thinking???

She takes the puppy around the block where she lives for 5-10 minutes at the most in the morning so the dog can have a pee and poo and then feeds her and leaves her water and then puts her in the sitting room. She goes to work and returns at dinner time and feeds her again and gives her fresh water and then leaves her until she gets home which is between 4-5pm and then takes her out for 15 minutes at the most.

I haven't owned a dog for quite a few years now, but even I know that what she is doing is not right. In fact, I would argue that it's cruel and not fair on the dog. She isn't bothering to train her puppy at all and it's as if she thinks she can buy a puppy and just behave like her life was before she got the puppy.

She has even had the audacity to ask our mother to stay at her flat and look after the puppy. Our mother refused and told her that the dog was not her dog and to give the dog to a good home and my sister called her the b word. They haven't spoken for a fortnight or so now.

She's not socialising her puppy, giving it enough exercise, etc. She's going to end up with an aggressive and miserable because of her selfish behaviour.

What should I do?

She sends me photos of the puppy playing with a dog in her flat and I feel like she's trying to emotionally blackmail to take the dog out.

I work shifts, but I am home most days, but why should I look after her dog? I still can't even believe that she bought her puppy.

Her flat stinks of pee, there is always pee on the floor and the dog is becoming destructive. That behaviour is not the dog's fault, it is my sister's fault and I feel sooooo angry at her. I don't even speak to her.

Yes, I know that a dog needs to learn to be alone sometimes, but not a young puppy and for hours and hours. It's not fair.

My sister bought a breed that needs lots and lots of exercise and is not really advised as a breed for a novice dog owner. Things are only going to get worse.

Has anyone else experienced this selfish behaviour from a family member or friend? I can't believe that she's been so irresponsible and selfish.

Her friends and other members of the family told her not to buy a puppy because of her lifestyle but she just dismissed any concerns and stated abruptly that "everything will be fine".

I feel so sorry for the puppy and it's driving me crazy.

OP posts:
Sarahlou63 · 24/02/2021 22:13

The situation is wrong on every level. What do you want to do? The RSPCA are unlikely to step in. Can you report her to the landlord?

sweetpotatopie12 · 24/02/2021 22:13

If she is not listening to reason then get the rspca involved or the dog warden and inform them that she is not looking after the dog properly

CrotchetyQuaver · 24/02/2021 22:20

You say she rents a flat. Is she even allowed a dog there under the terms of the tenancy? Poor dog

Pancake4life · 24/02/2021 22:29

an untrained unsocialised Akita when fully grown is going to absolutely trash her house and be a serious risk to your sisters safety. does she have any idea what breed she has got herself involved with ??

KellyGeek · 24/02/2021 22:36

She's jumped in feet first without giving the situation any serious thought at all. Even in the short space of time she has had the puppy I have seen a change in the dog's behaviour. She isn't teaching the dog any thing and it's just allowed to do what it wants in her flat. All she does is watch TV and give it a toy and expect it to get on with it.

Even a small dog still needs to be looked after, walked, fed, etc. But, why on earth did she decide to get such a big breed when she doesn't have any experience with any dogs? My mind boggles.

She's always been the same. Someone tells her not to do something and she will go and do it. She shifts responsibilities onto other people. Etc.

OP posts:
FTMF30 · 24/02/2021 22:42

If am Akita is mot properly trained and socialised, they can become very viscous. If she doesn't give the puppy away to a good home, she will learn a tough, possibly permanently scarring, lesson.

FTMF30 · 24/02/2021 22:43

Supposed to say an and not 🙄.

DianaT1969 · 24/02/2021 23:03

I remember your thread about when she was talking of getting the puppy. I got the impression that your family dynamics were rather toxic and you were all low or no contact. Although it is wrong, and not fair on the dog, I think you and your family need to stay out of it and stay away.
It's your sister's mess to sort. As you said before, she is more obstinate when told what to do.
If there was a charity that would take action in these circumstances, I'd contact them. But there isn't.

RubyandPearl · 24/02/2021 23:06

This could end very badly, maybe the RSPCA would be interested under the circumstances?

RubyandPearl · 24/02/2021 23:07

Shes probably chosen just about the worst breed she could have in the circumstances

wheresthehope · 24/02/2021 23:22

contact the breeder of the puppy maybe?

HeidiPeidi · 25/02/2021 01:42

Oh my goodness, I almost wondered if you were writing about my youngest sister there!

Despite growing up on the same farm as me, surrounded by the same gun and working dogs, my sister paid very little attention to, and had very little time for, any of the animals. As such she was entirely clueless with dogs. However when she turned 17 and moved in with her boyfriend and his 3 kids, the first thing she did was buy a puppy. A collie. In a 2 bed council flat, which already housed 5 people. The dog was never walked, barely looked after and lived a pretty miserable life. It ended up snapping at one of the kids one day (thankfully not badly, no broken skin) and they wanted to have it pts. In the end my husband and I took the pup and she lived happily on our farm.

Since then she’s had a GSD, which she rehomed, a husky cross, which she rehomed, a pug which our parents took in, and just last week picked up some doodle type puppy.

I’ve learned that there is very little you can do. Report if you can, but don’t expect anything to come of it. These types never listen. Chances are she’ll be hurt or get bored and pass the problem to someone else before too long. I wish I had the magic words to share with you, but if she’s like my sister, she won’t be told.

MisgenderedSwan · 25/02/2021 04:50

WRT to the actual amount of exercise, a young Akita doesn't actually need much walking yet as their bones grow and muscles develop. However, they need lots of socialisation, training and grooming. They can be a very dangerous breed if not socialised and trained while young, they were originally Japanese fighting dogs.

She needs to give it up now, before it goes badly wrong and while someone responsible has a chance to fix the damage. Could you report her anonymously to the landlord? I doubt they'd be pleased at the damage being done.

scochran · 25/02/2021 05:31

Does she have a finances for a dog walker or puppy daycare? When my kids were young it was all husky puppies at the school gates but then they disappeared within a few months , hopefully to better homes!

SpiderinaWingMirror · 25/02/2021 05:47

Jesus.
We got a Westie Pup.
He is enough of a danger (to my ankles) if he doesn't have his exercise and play. And I can just pick him up and move him.
What was she thinking?

StealthRoast · 25/02/2021 06:00

This is awful. We have a 5 month old husky puppy and he’s never been left alone at all due to circumstances more than anything but I can’t imagine leaving a puppy alone all day whilst at work in a flat and expecting them to behave. The poor dog needs more exercise ( especially as she grows ) and tons of socialisation which she clearly isn’t getting.

Our boy is teething and without the right stimulation and attention he could quite easily become destructive. These type of dogs will be huge when fully grown too and if not trained will potentially be dangerous.
My puppy is extremely friendly and loves dogs and people and we’ve put a lot of work in with him. Your sister needs a reality check and I fear it will take something bad to happen for her to get one.

We have 3 adults ( me, dp and almost 18yr old ds ) plus dd (10) who all help out and are responsible for our puppy and it’s still hard work. What your sister is doing is quite frankly cruel.

dotty12345 · 25/02/2021 07:22

I have a family member who I love to pieces but she is a proper shit dog owner, always a reason to get rid of them. She's not had a dog for a few years now but still occasionally mentions getting another. I've told her I will personally report her to the RSPCA if she does. Shocking how dogs are seen as playthings

gettingusedtothelimelight · 25/02/2021 07:37

From experience RSPCA will do nothing if the dog is given food, water, shelter and isn't being physically assaulted 😬

whoami24601 · 25/02/2021 08:24

Oh god BIL and SIL did this - they lived in a small 2 bed flat and got themselves a GSD puppy. Never walked or socialised it. It was so miserable and ended up being PTS at age 2 because it bit SIL on the face. They have no awareness that it was their own doing. They now live in a tiny 1 bed bungalow and they've just paid £3000 for a golden retriever pup. I feel so sad for those dogs Sad

Sarcobaleno · 25/02/2021 08:54

Am sure the landlord would be very unhappy about having a large dog likey to be destructive, even if dogs are allowed under the rental agreement. Normally it would be a "well behaved dog" allowed. I'd feel awful going behind someone's back going to the landlord but equally an unsocialised, untrained, unexercised Akita is a scary prospect.

Derekhello · 25/02/2021 09:13

@whoami24601

Oh god BIL and SIL did this - they lived in a small 2 bed flat and got themselves a GSD puppy. Never walked or socialised it. It was so miserable and ended up being PTS at age 2 because it bit SIL on the face. They have no awareness that it was their own doing. They now live in a tiny 1 bed bungalow and they've just paid £3000 for a golden retriever pup. I feel so sad for those dogs Sad
@whoami24601

That’s so sad 😢

PicpoulDeMeNay · 25/02/2021 09:26

There’s also a lot of fault on the ‘breeders’ here for not house checking/situation checking. I appreciate Covid makes this more difficult, but not impossible.

I’ve currently got a 10 week old Sprocker asleep at my feet - when I first contacted the breeder, they asked endless questions about my situation, and also we did a FaceTime call so I could walk them around my house and garden, they ‘met’ DS19 and DD16 too. They then did the same for me - showed me their house, whelping box with adorable pups, pup mum etc.

This whole vetting process made me feel their interest was absolutely in the home their pups were going to, and this also gave me great confidence in getting pup from them. She has turned out to be a total superstar, and we adore her!

whoami24601 · 25/02/2021 09:48

@Derekhello I know. They truly love their dogs and treat them well at home but don't have even a basic understanding of their needs. They both would be classed as having mild learning difficulties if they were at school now I think. It's a shit situation all round Sad

bunnygeek · 25/02/2021 11:32

@DianaT1969

I remember your thread about when she was talking of getting the puppy. I got the impression that your family dynamics were rather toxic and you were all low or no contact. Although it is wrong, and not fair on the dog, I think you and your family need to stay out of it and stay away. It's your sister's mess to sort. As you said before, she is more obstinate when told what to do. If there was a charity that would take action in these circumstances, I'd contact them. But there isn't.
Such a sad situation but I can agree with Diana here. If the family relationship is already toxic and she already doesn't listen then it's basically going to be like shouting into an abyss with her :( sadly I don't see it ending well for this poor puppy, it's definitely going to bite someone, if not your sister, badly. Puppies nip as it is.

You can try the RSPCA and local dog warden for advice but they may not be able to do anything :(

Caselgarcia · 25/02/2021 11:54

I suspect she knows she has made a mistake buying the puppy. If you report her to her landlord or the RSPCA and she finds out, she will ble you if she loses the dog and will play being the victim.
Whatever you do you've not got to give her the opportunity to blame you for the dogs removal (if it comes to this). To be honest I would let this play out and not get involved. I suspect she'll come up with some excuse to rehome the dog, with none of it being her fault.

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