How will I know when it's the end. I'm really struggling

[hogu]

Ddog is 14, she was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure 4 weeks ago and hospitalised twice since then on a drip to flush her kidneys which, both times picked her up very well.
She's now struggling to walk and is very unstable. She's off her food but will happily eat anything im eating. I've tried her with roast chicken but she rejects it i it when I offer her a chicken nugget she will happily take it.

Please bear in mind we are desperate at the moment and wouldn't normally be offering any foods that aren't good for her.

For the past month I've lived everyday wondering if it's her last and if I need to make the calll, I'm absolutely deviated as she's my best friend and so incredibly special to me. I tried to take her a small walk round her favourite spot today but after a few minutes she collapsed so I carried her back to my car and drive her home and Made the call. Then this evening she seemed so happy to be snuggled on the sofa with me like there is nothing wrong at all.

How do I know when it's right to say she's had enough? I thoughts I'd know but I'm not sure I will ever be able
To make the call and go through with it knowing that's the end. I can't bare the thought.

I really feel for you. Im a vet nurse and i have also lost a dog to kidney failure.

It does sound like it is time to be kind im sorry to say.

But yes let her have all the naughty food

It's always said that it's better a week too early than a day too late. It's a toughie, be brave.

I'm so sorry OP.

For us it was just obvious.

Is she drinking?

You know she isn't going to get appreciably better. I can only speak from my experience, but making a decision and setting a day and time will help. You can make her last days special and know she will be out of pain. It's the last and best thing we do for them.

It's time now. Please don't allow the poor dog to suffer because of your sadness that really isn't fair. You took her out and she collapsed it's time now you have to be selfless and do what is best for the dog

It's the ultimate act of love to let them go when they are struggling

If she’s happy snuggling on the sofa that’s the perfect time. Let her last minutes be snuggling you happily. Sending loads of love 💕

I had to make the decision 2 weeks ago and it was heartbreaking, but it was time. It sounds like it is time for you too. I'm so sorry x

Why is it better a week too early than a day too late? Surely every last second she gets on earth is better so long as I can see she is getting some enjoyment?

Yes it's heartbreaking to see her fall but I'm right there everytime to help her up then she has some nice times again.

I'm really struggling to come to terms with the decision. If it was a relative you wouldn't just pull the plug so how can I say it's ok to do it to my beautiful girl. (Who is far better than most relatives!). I'm not being argumentative I just need some help here as I've been in turmoil for a while now.

@Sarahlou63

You know she isn't going to get appreciably better. I can only speak from my experience, but making a decision and setting a day and time will help. You can make her last days special and know she will be out of pain. It's the last and best thing we do for them.

‘Setting a day and time’, can’t think of a worse idea.

I’ve always found that you do know when it is time OP, whenever that may be

As long as she's not in pain and is comfortable, keep her with you. The minute you sense she's uncomfortable and/or in pain then your'll know.

Enjoy the last few days with your special girl. Give her all the kisses and treats and naughty dinners.

I had to face a similar situation with my cat of 19yrs back in autumn.

She was very poorly but was still eating and able to enjoy being stroked. She was not distressed.

I agonised on this for weeks. I asked on here in a very similar way to you (I've name changed) and given this same advice.

Finally it was time and it felt too early but it wasn't. She was suffering for sure and it wasn't nice for her.

I had a vet to the house. An hour or before I gave a her a nice dish of tuna which she'd not been allowed due to needing a special diet.
She wolfed it down and went back to bed almost smiling. I was so glad to give her that final treat and she could enjoy it.

It was peaceful and dignified. And no stress for the cat.

Can I just say I really understand what you’re going through. My lovely Beryl (I know daft name!) developed a problem which to cut a long story short, she couldn’t digest food properly. Vets said we could help by doing certain things which we did day and night. I just couldn’t bare the thought of her not being there, I loved her so much. It didn’t work and after trying and trying I was the brave one who said maybe this is time. All I can say is I really wish I had done it a good while before. That was 16 years ago, I still think about how I should have. You know your dog better than anyone. You know if she is happy or struggling, if it was me, if she was happy then like you say, everyday is an extra day xxxx

If it was a relative you absolutely would pull the plug too if you were allowed to end their suffering. My best friend died of cancer last year, it was awful to watch. A month later my dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The vets wanted to try various drugs that may have given him more time, but they didn’t make much difference, so we spent a week doing everything he loved and spoiled him rotten, told him a million times how much we loved him then had him pts quietly at home in his own bed. Broke our hearts, I’ve just sobbed writing this even though it’s 16 months ago, but I 100% think it was the right thing to do. He’d never really suffered, it was relatively early on in his illness.

It’s such a hard thing to do, but you have to think about quality of life and whether you’re keeping them alive for you or for them.

Sorry - that sounds like we put him down right at the first diagnosis. The vets said he might get an extra year on the drugs, but it didn’t show signs of working and he was not able to play properly or do any of the other things he loved (he was always a hyper dog) without seriously coughing. So although he was still eating and pottering around we knew it was all downhill from there and that’s why we decided. I just didn’t want him to go through what my friend had suffered.

Oh so sorry, definitely better a week too early than too late, quality of life.

It is different for animals. Having had the privilege of helping many across the rainbow bridge my resounding memory from my experiences is seeing the relief as they are released from pain and discomfort.

However i do understand where you're coming from. I lost my mum recently and id give anything to have her back. Even for ten minutes, but she was suffering and her passing was a blessing. As humans we are programmed to cling on to life no matter what. Animals simply don't do that.

You will do the right thing for your lovely girl as you'll know in your gut when the time has come. I think you need to prepare yourself as you'll decide quickly. Have a conversation with your vet so that you can arrange to be with her if you want to.

Its not giving up on her, its helping her on her final journey from here.

I recently went through this my old dog she had a suspected brain tumour, seizires, stroke and seemingly kept bouncing back and would have a better day or 2, final straw was a 3am vet visit with acute heart failure, they couldn't fix her, I couldn't put her through anymore. I got to be with her it was a stormy night and how I done the car journey there I'll never know but it was peaceful, it was the right time. Enjoy each day, feed sausages morning, noon and night if it beings happier they will let you know when it is time x

It sounds like it's time. And having seen my DDad suffer on his last day I absolutely would have pulled the plug for him too. We are kinder to our pets.

@hogu

Why is it better a week too early than a day too late? Surely every last second she gets on earth is better so long as I can see she is getting some enjoyment? Yes it's heartbreaking to see her fall but I'm right there everytime to help her up then she has some nice times again. I'm really struggling to come to terms with the decision. If it was a relative you wouldn't just pull the plug so how can I say it's ok to do it to my beautiful girl. (Who is far better than most relatives!). I'm not being argumentative I just need some help here as I've been in turmoil for a while now.

Because it's best for them to go before they get so bad they are suffering. You know she won't get better you want extra days for your sake not hers She's already collapsed that is not fair you have to do the right thing by her. I know how hard it is I had to do it myself and it broke my heart but you can't wait till the poor dog is desperate let her go be for it gets awful for her And yes I would help a relative that was suffering if I could and I would want someone to help me if I was suffering too !

Hope you are ok OP

I could not do the ‘setting the day and the time’ thing.
We got to the point 2 weeks ago after a very short illness (less than a week) where she wouldn’t take tablets, wouldn’t eat her favourite treats, just wasn’t interested in her walk. I phoned the vet at took her at that point.
Making that decision is the worst thing ever and I really feel for you xxx

Well an update from me, I'm so glad I didn't take her after she collapsed despite some comments on here, I didn't feel like I should give up on her without feeling like I'd done everything I can. So we've switched some tablets, taken some away and included subq fluids and she's doing amazing. So happy and alert and loving her walks again.
Praying it continues!!