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The doghouse

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Original poster

Friends Dog nearly strangled me on walk

74 replies

MrsJBradders · 08/02/2021 10:18

was out with a friend for a socially distanced walk yesterday, we normally go each Sunday and walk around a large area of playing fields, about halfway through her dog (flat coat retriever 21 months) got super excited, and grabbed my scarf that was tucked under my coat, as the scarf was obviously wrapped around my neck and he was pulling and pulling i got very frightened, i managed to remove the scarf to which he decided was a trophy and ran off with it.

my friend was trying to retrieve him during this - whole thing prob only lasted less than a minute but she ended up having to tempt him with treats to get hold of him, he's got form for jumping up and occasionally grabbing sleeves but this really frightened me, she got upset as she thought i was angry with her, as i told her it was dangerous and if he could do it to me, when i have known him since 8 weeks old, he could do it to anyone.

he goes to doggy day care everyday. her training with him is sporadic.

just looking for some advice as i feel within my right to refuse to walk with him until she has got him better trained, but equally don't want to seem like i am not wanting to see her? i suggested a muzzle and extendable lead for future but it's not my dog so what can i do?

OP posts:
NoProblem123 · 08/02/2021 10:42

He’s still very young and without continued training from her he’s not going to improve much.
I don’t like the fact she had no control over him and no proper recall in place while still allowing him off the lead.

You could refuse to walk with her but she may think you are overreacting.

Newfor2021 · 08/02/2021 10:51

You sound a bit over dramatic, it sounds like the dog was playing rather than attacking so not sure why you’re saying you’ve known him since 8 weeks old.
Dogs aren’t robots, your friend did exactly the right thing by distracting him with food and as you said yourself it last less than a minute.

Unless I’m missing something it sounds like, dog jumped up pulled my scarf as he wanted to play with it, I unwrapped it from my neck, friend distracted dog and dog ran off with scarf?

If you don’t want to walk with your friend after that it’s of course entirely up to you, however I would be reflecting on my own emotional resilience and over dramatic reaction.

Original poster
MrsJBradders · 08/02/2021 10:57

no he grabbed the scarf and almost strangled me - i dont think that's being overdramatic?

OP posts:
Mammaaof · 08/02/2021 10:59

Quite over dramatic 🤨🤨

Respectabitch · 08/02/2021 11:02

It's a dog. It didn't wrap its paws around your neck and squeeze. You didn't nearly die. It's potentially a poorly trained dog, and you're within your rights to decide not to walk with your friend and dog any more, but you could do with taking the drama down a notch.

Plexie · 08/02/2021 11:03

It's understandable that was a frightening experience - the scarf was wrapped around your neck, it wasn't a loose item the dog could just pick up and run off with.

This is an upsetting story from last year: a woman strangled by her dogs because she had their leads around her neck:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-55170356

The dog didn't know it's actions were dangerous and nobody can teach the dog that, so the only element that can be addressed is your friend's lack of control of the dog. If you don't feel safe then of course you're not being unreasonable if you don't want to walk with the dog again.

SirSniffsAlot · 08/02/2021 11:03

I am not sure a retriever has the tug power to overwhelm a conscious adult, tbh. But I could also imagine it was a bit scary and very irritating.

I am not sure I'd take very kindly to someone else's dog doing that to me. 21 months old is young, but not tiny and I would expect a dog to have a bit better training by that point to stop/drop.

I am not sure a muzzle is the answer, but expecting better control of the dog would be reasonable. As a socially distanced walk is more than 2m apart, a lead should suffice.

Pinkywoo · 08/02/2021 11:05

It's not like he deliberately tried to strangle you, he's a playful young dog not a attempted murderer!
Yes he obviously needs some training but it doesn't sound like there was any aggression, just don't have a tempting flappy thing round your neck in future.

WTFs · 08/02/2021 11:05

It happens!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-55170356

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 08/02/2021 11:07

The dog didn’t realise it was strangling you, it sounds like he was being playful and engaging in the typical tug-of-war dogs love. He needs further training, specifically to know when he is being told to stop. The dog didn’t consider it to be attacking you, he was boisterous and needs to be played with in a constructive way.

You’re perfectly entitled to be nervous of the dog, and you don’t ever need to walk a dog you’re not comfortable around. However suggesting a muzzle and calling him a dangerous dog is massive overkill.

RoseAndRose · 08/02/2021 11:09

Of course, you do not walk with someone whom has a dog you do not want to be around

But unless you know something about dog training, don't offer training advice.

Alexandernevermind · 08/02/2021 11:13

I don't think you are being dramatic. Your friend's dog is out of control. He is a 35kg dog who is untrained, bad mannered and disobedient. It obviously isn't the dog's fault, but if your friend wants to keep a large gundog then she needs to train him.

Alexandernevermind · 08/02/2021 11:14

@PinkywooPinky did you really just tell the op it was her fault for wearing a scarf?

Floralnomad · 08/02/2021 11:14

It is over dramatic because it’s a dog and the way you are talking it’s as if he was actually trying to murder you . Just don’t walk with her if you are that bothered , and I doubt it’s down entirely to her lack of training as I have a friend who has a few labs and an goldie and regularly get mugged by him ( he’s nearly 2 ) , yet her labs , one of which is younger are perfectly well behaved and they are all trained the same . I certainly wouldn’t be muzzling my dog over an incident like you’ve described .

Flippyferloppy · 08/02/2021 11:15

Your friend has a large and disobedient dog. He scared you by his behaviour. You would be perfectly justified in turning her down because you don't feel safe/comfortable.

Sittinbythetree · 08/02/2021 11:18

You’re not being over dramatic, most people would find that frightening. The intent of the dog is irrelevant! It’s a badly trained big dog - 21 months is nearly 2, not a puppy. No big dog should be allowed to jump up at people, lots of people don’t like it and anyone small/frail/young/disabled/elderly could easily be knocked over and hurt. And grabbing at clothes whilst doing - awful, the friend should be very embarrassed. It’s simply not acceptable to allow animals in your care to behave like this. Just tell her that you are afraid of the dog, you know it’s friendly but are afraid of being hurt so please could she keep it on the lead. If she says no, she’s an idiot and not a good friend.

Pinkywoo · 08/02/2021 11:19

[quote Alexandernevermind]@PinkywooPinky did you really just tell the op it was her fault for wearing a scarf?[/quote]
No, it wasn't her fault (though freaking out probably made him pull harder) but now she knows he likes tug of war it would be safer to tuck it in her coat until the friend trains her dog properly.

SirSniffsAlot · 08/02/2021 11:20

TBF the dog's recall sounds poor, so a lead is probably better for that too, whilst on a chatty walk where active training is not taking place.

Sittinbythetree · 08/02/2021 11:23

Anyone who plays ‘tug-of-war games’ with a dog is literally teaching them not to let go of things. Such bad training, and very unfair on the dog.

SpiceRat · 08/02/2021 11:23

The semantics of “the dog didn’t strangle you” are really unnecessary. I’m sure op knows the dog wasn’t trying to top her like some bad soap opera but at the end of the day the dogs behaviour is not ok. If she suggests a walk in future I would politely decline if the dog will be there. At the end of the day the dog should not be out in public and out of control, which is what happened. It sounds like it was off lead too so this very well could have happened to a stranger or a child. She needs to do more robust training with it to ensure it won’t happen again.

Hoppinggreen · 08/02/2021 11:25

Bit dramatic
He didn’t try to strangle you, he grabbed your scarf.
I appreciate it was scary and your friend should have better control over her dog though.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 08/02/2021 11:27

@Sittinbythetree

Anyone who plays ‘tug-of-war games’ with a dog is literally teaching them not to let go of things. Such bad training, and very unfair on the dog.
What a misinformed comment. Having no clear “drop” command is teaching a dog not to let go. Tug games build confidence in a dog, build bonds between dog and owner and exercise energy in dogs. It is also how dogs are trained to open doors / appliances too.
inquietant · 08/02/2021 11:27

@RoseAndRose

Of course, you do not walk with someone whom has a dog you do not want to be around

But unless you know something about dog training, don't offer training advice.

This.

It sounds a very unpleasant experience though, take a little time to get yourself together.

Sittinbythetree · 08/02/2021 11:29

Op - just noticed you posted this in the ‘doghouse’ section. You will get replies from people who think that dogs are more important than people.

cupofdecaf · 08/02/2021 11:30

I'd say you'll go for a walk without the dog. I wouldn't want to be near a dog like that.