Am I worrying for nothing? Ex bought big dog

[TheChip]

My ex has very little experience with dogs, and has impulsively bought a bully breed type dog. It is massive as a pup so it's going to be a big dog.

My worry is my child.
Are American bull dog type dogs generally okay with children? How about an untrained one?
Because I dont believe he will put much effort into training.

I honestly can't see him keeping the dog for a long time, but I am anxious everytime my son goes to his dads now. I already know ds is left unattended with the dog, and I know its a puppy but id of thought that would make it all more important to not leave ds alone with it due to its size and puppy playful bitey nature.

I hope I'm worrying over nothing. Its not a breed I'd ever go for as I would not be able to physically handle them so I don't really know much about the breed. I think its an American bulldog (definitely that) crossed with a mastiff or something.

I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm worrying over nothing more than anything.

Yep I'm not trying to say it's the breed - I own a bull cross - but the training.
If the OP thinks her ex won't train or control the dog, then her child is at risk. She's not imagining it.

Thank you everyone.

I think all I can do right now is focus on my son, and try to teach him what he can do for the best in this situation in order to keep himself safe.

First thing being, removing any responsibility he is expected to have over the dog in the car.
Then I'll have to try and help him see the seriousness of being left alone with the dog.

It would be so much easier if I could just speak to ds dad about it but that is a whole other thread lol.

Its not the breed that worries me, its the size and the damage that could happen even by accident due to a lack of training. Hearing that they are usually tolerant dogs does ease my worries a a fair bit. Not enough to switch off from it all though, so I'll focus on what I can do.

Would he use a car restraint if you bought him one @TheChip ? I know that shouldn’t be the answer but it at least would resolve the car issue when your son is present . Fwiw , I’m not a lover of bull breeds but my mum had a mastiff x Rhodesian ridgeback ( from Battersea as a pup) who was absolutely huge and he was the soppiest dog ever , he also used to sing which was very endearing .

Keep your child safely with you - no question.

Your OH is being utterly ridiculous.

Do not let your son go to his house. End of.

@Floralnomad I might actually have a spare one in the cupboard! If not I could always just buy one and give it to ds and say it was a spare.
I love it when dogs sing. Though I think its preferable when it is other people's dogs lol.

@Mischance - I do get why you would be saying that, but I do think it is extreme. Especially right now. For all I know, he could be working at finding a trainer. It's doubtful, but I dont believe I am in any kind of position to react that way. At least not at the moment.

Well one of my DC is 10yo and he was upset when our 14 week old Saint Bernard puppy jumped up at him. He turns around with arms folded now, so knows how to handle jumping up next time, even if adult in same room it can happen very quickly and they are big puppies. Ours is playful, like most puppies, no malice just excited jumping. If not discouraged early though, could become serious issue.

OP just something to bear in mind. Hopefully you come to a solution so everyone is comfortable.

There's multiple things going on. Are bull breeds potentially dangerous - yes, but so are all dogs, but the bigger they are the more potential for serious harm. Are all bull breeds dangerous dogs - no, well trained ones make great pets, still never leave a small child alone. How should dogs travel in cars - by law they must be restrained this means in a secured crate in the boot, in a crate secured by a seatbelt or sitting on the seat with a vehicle harness.

With what @TheChip has posted, I suggest the car arrangements are the most concerning and (being generous here) he might not realise the law changed to say dogs must be restrained. I would suggest speaking to ex calmly and stating that dc cannot travel with the dog unrestrained

I worked in hospitals - a child's life can be ripped apart (literally) in seconds. Just not worth the risk.

And everyone assumed it would not happen to their child.

That is what worries me. But I dont want to be jumping the gun and letting my worries push me into a decision that I'm not fully informed on.

So far I know that he has impulsively bought this dog. I know that he has very little to no experience with dogs, especially such a powerful one. I know he is placing ridiculous responsibility onto a child in the car with the dog. He is letting the dog be with ds unattended.

What I dont know, is what measures he is putting in place to ensure that this dog is not posing such a risk.
Its hard to believe that he would be so careless, to allow the dog to be doing as it pleases given its size. Id imagine something would happen, even if only knocking furniture and breaking stuff that would make him realise he needs to take action.
But I do know that what I believe and what he does are two completely different things.

When my ds returns from his dads im going to have a good chat with him. Hopefully I can find out about how dad does training, if any etc. Explain to him about the car and being around the dog alone, and just how he can keep himself safe in general.

Its really hard to talk to ds dad, as he is the type that whatever I say he will do the opposite. That's why saying I have a spare car restraint will go down much better than saying ds can't be in the car with an unrestrained dog. I must have gave the spare to the local dog kennels, but I've ordered one and will just say it's a spare.

I just cant get my head around why he would choose such a powerful dog. Fingers crossed he has gone above and beyond what I think and has researched and doing lots of work with the dog.

The best way forward is preventing an accident. Your ex needs to train the dog and not leave it unsupervised with your child. If you cant trust him to do this don't send your child round. I never have left any of my pet dogs alone with any child. There is a craze at the moment on these bully breeds and people with no experience of them or dogs in general should own one.

@LochJessMonster

Well you are not going to find reassurance here.

Any dog can kill a child if left unattended. Especially a large bull breed.

Your child is in danger and I would be applying to the courts to stop unsupervised access. Social services can assess the dog and the danger.

just very judgemental post.... OP all you are going to get here is hysterical answers not the best place to post if you want a balanced view on bullbreeds all you get are people who have never owned a bullbreed and listen to the garbage in the media.