What do you do?

[heatered]

First time dog owners. Family of 4, DH works from home, 2 kids 11& 17 homeschool. Me SAHM who was thinking of going back to work but is now trapped by the dog.
Dog is a 7 month cocker spaniel. I literally spend every waking hour with him, he's never alone. Mainly due to lockdown. He's only just started sleeping longer at night. Whenever he settles someone in the house disturbs him, it drives me mad, not on purpose but he's very sensitive to people moving around etc. DH is talking on and off the phone through the day, running up to the loo, making coffee. Just life really but the dog is literally never left alone. If I put him in his crate he will sometimes settle but as I say easily disturbed and starts barking. This upsets DH who has meetings going on. I feel trapped. I have to 'book appointments' with DH to baby sit so I can pop to the pharmacy or even shower. I shop at 7am and hope to get back in time for DH starting work. I love the dog and he's walked 4 times a day and played/trained plenty but how do other dog owners get on? Is it just a lockdown thing? Is anyone else living like this?

No, once housetrained you should be able to leave him for short periods.
I wonder if it would help if you increased the background noise so that mere doors and walking didn’t send him into high alert.
White noise or rain etc.there are lots free online.
Just a suggestion until the experts rock up.

Thanks for the noise idea. What do you mean by house trained? He can go a few hours without needing the toilet, he's been really good in that way. I couldn't give him free roam of any room alone because he's very chewy. He's happy to stay in his crate which is huge. DH won't let him in his office area because of wires and expensive equipment plus he's alway leaving tiny screws etc it just wouldn't be safe. Our walls are paper thin which doesn't help with sound traveling. The heating coming on wakes him up which annoys me, the house creeks and groans.

It must be very hard having a puppy in lockdown- they grow up thinking everyone is around 24/7. Even my 6 year old dogs are getting used to us always being home this year.

If you’re thinking of going back to work think of looking at doggy daycare.

OP I get you are trying your best for him but you need to rethink things a bit for all your sanity!
Pups and adolescent dogs need a lot of rest and down time time being calm. It is really good for them mentally and physically.
Why are you walking him 4 x a day? That seems excessive to me. Too much walking leaves a young dog over tired and ‘wired’ where they can’t settle. It’s overstimulating for them. They respond better to scent work/ brain games that tire the mind rather than just get the body fitter and fitter.
What I do most days with my dogs is a good walk in the morning with off lead time so plenty of sniffing and exploring, then a mid day play with some training in the garden followed by a short evening walk. In between that they know it’s pretty much rest/ chill out time. One might play with a toy for a bit, and they like having chews to relax with. You say your dog likes the crate, that’s a great start, he has somewhere safe and comfy to rest in. Kongs filled with yummy things and frozen can keep them occupied for ages and then they will sleep. Build up the time you leave him gradually. Lots of good ideas for food enrichment too that will keep pups brain busy, check out the canine enrichement Facebook page for good ideas.
Honestly it sounds like you are trying really hard with him but it all sounds a bit intense. A 7 month old dog really needs to learn to be calm and able to rest without you. Good luck and hope it gets less stressful for you all soon.

BrokenBrit
Hi, he is walked for 10-15min at 6.30am, 30min at 11am, 30min at 3pm and 10-15min 7pm. He loves to walk/pull and is much calmer after each walk. He naps afterwards for 20-30min usually on my lap but is disturbed by others in the house. He loves Yaks but doesn't seem interested if I put them in bed with him, he's a bit lazy with kongs. I've set a camera to watch him if I leave and he whines and howls and eventually settles but as soon as he hears someone it's back to square 1. He's done well learning to no longer react so much to the door bell which has helped but it's difficult to train him to ignore my 11 yr old who stomps around like an elephant and speaks only at full volume, I've tried training the 11yr old to be quieter but I've yet to find the right method!

I'd start by dedicating a room to the dog with a radio. Then it's 3x /day walk. Morning 10-15 minutes then into room for quiet time / rest with a chewy treat. If you have a crate use that.
Next lunchtime walk ... up to 20minutes. Repeat morning routine.
Mid afternoon / evening have fun with the dog ... walk up to 90minutes, training & company until bed time. Basically mimicking a work day pattern. Slowly increasing the time the dog is left alone in the room.
Use the weekend to actually leave the house without the dog after a long walk.
Dogs are creatures of routine as well as spending most of their time asleep / resting.

“ I literally spend every waking hour with him”. That’s a recipe for disaster, my MIL who is retired did this and she can’t leave her dog alone. Ever! Terrible separation anxiety, if he doesn’t chew he will urinate somewhere. You need to start leaving him for very short periods. Cocker spaniels are high energy, does he like ball? I’d get one, once it’s safe to let him run- probably from age 1. Add five mins for every month of life.
You should only be walking him for about 40 mins a day, at seven months any more can injure joints etc.
Spaniels do tend to bark a lot, that’s in their nature. They’re quite high maintenance dogs, he’s obviously bonded to you and it’s you he’s after. Is everyone taking time with the dog or is it just you doing all the training and work?

Ps ‘He naps afterwards for 20-30min usually on my lap ‘ personally wouldn’t do that either. He’s learning to relax on you. Unless that’s something you don’t mind doing ongoing. Everything you do, you should be comfortable that you may always have to do or it’ll take a very long time to get DDog out of the habit!
Realistically the longest you can leave a dog is around 4 hours, any longer isn’t fair on the dog. DH or myself take it in turns to nip home lunchtime and walk ours. He’s old now though and happy to sleep most of the day.

He is actually bonded closely to my DH even though I spend the most time with the dog but my DH is the most fun in the dogs eyes. I'm just not a rough and tough person. This makes it even more difficult because he can hear DH talking or moving around and he jumps up from his rest and is desperate to see him. Scratches at the door, barks. DH tried having the crate in with him but the dog just wanted out and to play.

I'm going to try some of the great suggestions made here. White noise and settling him in his crate after a walk. Maybe I will finally get some jobs done around the house.

Could you teach him that settle command.
Our dog is similar in that he wants to follow who ever is at home around constantly! I've taught him to go in his bed and stay there unless called,
I think we taught him sir/stay first then built on that.

Agree with @Girlintheframe, there is a great video on YouTube by KikoPup for teaching calm/settle.

It involves a lot of rewarding when the dog is settled on the floor/mat but my spaniel (5 mo) took really well to it and now spends a lot of time settled on his mat (we taught him go to your mat at the same time). He is still so little he should be getting a lot of sleep during the day but difficult if he cant settle.

Re the separation anxiety - try building it up so leave him alone in eg the kitchen for literally 30 seconds to begin with (time it) and when he is ok with that, increase it to z minute, then two, five etc. You can do it a few times a day. Leave him with a treat/nice chew so associates bring alone = nice things. Dont increase the time until he is calm and not distressed. Remove anything from the room that you dont want chewed/maimed just in case. I think you can get anti chew sprays to deter them but no idea how good they are.

Good luck! I love my spaniel to bits but he is hard work

I'd introduce lots of brain games to tire him out, chews and lick games like a frozen Kong to teach him to relax. Build up the time you leave them. Separation anxiety is a tough fix but distract and reward calmness.

My cocker spaniel was similar and has to go to daycare when we work because she hated being alone so much. As she’s got older she’s much better and from being about 16 months we could leave her alone while we go out for an hour. Nothing we did, she just kind of changed. She doesn’t get up to follow me around so much now and sometimes doesn’t get straight up when I go down in the mornings. Yours is only a baby, there is hope!

Have you got a cover on the crate? When my youngest was a pup she was a nightmare sleeping and it was recommended to me to cover her crate as it made it den like. It did work as it slightly masked sound too. Could you put the crate in a quiet area?

We have a Saint who is 4 months old and she gets left alone in her crate for 30 minutes with a licky mat and Kong. We built this up from 3 minutes in the first week she came to us. We all leave the living room so she is used to time on her own. She needs to be used to this as in a few weeks I will be leaving the home to take two youngest kids to nursery. We have made sure to be consistent with this.

OP could you try something similar? Just build up the time gradually that he is used to being left alone. It is not healthy to be around each other all the time.

I would second covering the crate too, so it's more like a den. Helps them to relax.

He is still a baby, he will mature.
At this age he is on high alert at all times, for something happening, a ‘job’ for him to do.
Have you tried giving him a stuffed Kong to keep him busy ?
If he’s on dry food and it’s dry outside, try scattering the food on the grass. This will keep him busy looking for it. Remember, he’s a working dog and needs to tire his brain as well as his body.

We have a 4 month old cocker spaniel and kids at home too. We are worried too about us all being home. We have started crate training her during the day. Very slowly though. We need to get a move on!

I am in 2 great Facebook groups that have really good advice. Dog Training advice and support (admin by dog behaviourists) It's their crate training advice we are following. Also as recommended by someone else the canine enrichment group.

At the moment our pup sleeps all night in her crate no problem but usually follows us out the room if we leave. Last couple of nights she has taken herself to her crate when we've been fidgeting on the sofa so we are making slow progress. Have also made some progress on being able to go upstairs for a few mins without her whining at the bottom! Leaving her with a chewy treat or lickimat

The dog training and advice Facebook group from the poster above is great.

Partly it’s age, ours is a cockerpoo and a year now and we can leave her, she doesn’t follow us everywhere.. what helped was I had to go back to the office so husband wfh had to just ignore her. They got a routine going of a bit of a play, a snuffle mat or box with treats hidden in toilet rolls, newspaper, the sniffing tires her out. Tiny little barker and barker pill treats.

Then she sits in her bed under his desk, sort of on standby, we are fortunate that in laws take her for a walk at lunchtime, then she sleeps for afternoon.

So she’s got used to the fact it’s not all playing or walks.

But mostly I think she’s just got older!

Look at brain games though, a bit of training and snuffle mats and short sniffing walks, they all tire them out lots.

We have similar issue with ours but he is only 4 months. I am feeling extremely guilty as I know I should have left him more, doesnt help people keep telling me that I should be able to leave him for 4 hours now.

To be honest he is not 100% reliable with wees yet (he was but he's regressed) so that is an issue, I am not starting to leave him for a few mins after he's had a wee with a lickimat. He is happy in his crate for 20/30 mins with peanut butter on the lickimat (everything else he seems to lick too quickly!) but if I leave the room he barks and cries.

I need to bite the bullet though and do it. Its so hard as people who don't have lockdown pups don't get it really, I am avoiding discussing it with friends to be honest. I will definitely only be able to leave him in the crate as he will chew stuff otherwise.

I think people forget what having a puppy is really like. And blithely say, oh we leave/left ours all morning while we were out.

Either the dog was older, or they came back to an unhappy dog and wee on the floor or lots of things chewed.

AT 4 months he is tiny, 7 months is still really young. Build it up slowly. I was on here saying very similar things about not being able to leave ours about 6 months ago.

She's a year now and to be honest isn't left very often now, but she can be left. We all went out to dinner the other night, left the dog cam on and she spent the time sitting in 'her spot' on the half landing, dozing and chewing her bone.

She doesn't like being left, she loves being with people, but she wasn't crying, barking or chewing things or visibly distressed. And was turning cartwheels when we got home.

7 months he is young but also coming into the adolescent stage so things can get even more tricky for a bit.

Spaniels can be really hard work due to separation anxiety and it will not get better without being treated.

To save yourself a lot of trying things that dont work and increasing your stress levels and letting the dog have more time to practice the unwanted behaviour.. Call in the professionals. I would get a good qualified behaviourist and discuss the situation in rl and get a plan in place and in a few weeks this will be a thing of the past. Behaviourists are doing a fab service via zoom and it is working really well for both the clients and the behaviourist.

It will not get better on its own and you can drag out the solution if you do the wrong things

This morning he's been trained and walked, got a bit wet so had zoomies to! I put him in his crate, with a woofbrush, radio on and he settled really well. I watched him on the camera from upstairs. Son went up and down stairs, DH even went in the room without realising the dog was in his crate and he hardly flinched, it was an hour and 15 min until he got up, no barking so I went in let him out and gave him a fuss.

@heatered well done! Keep it up!

Great start OP keep it up on a regular basis and soon you will be able to go about your life pottering round the house doing housework or nipping out for some shopping 🙌